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Success Advice

If You Want to Be Successful Stop These 3 Toxic Habits



bad habits
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Are you finding life more of a struggle? With more distractions, more bills, and more choices, it can feel as though we’re not making any progress. As technology disrupts multiple industries, many people are trying to build their own business or start the much talked about side hustle.

The struggle is real, and after a few years, we can start to wonder why our goals haven’t come to fruition. The networking, upskilling, and hustle might not have paid off. We can question and throw blame, but in truth, our failure to progress is often because we need to be someone new, in order to achieve something we haven’t achieved before.

If you are in this situation, feeling exhausted of the grind, and wondering why you’re not getting your break, then it might be time to change who you are being. What are you willing to sacrifice?

Here are the 3 things you need to stop doing immediately if you want to be successful:

1. The Clothes Maketh The Man: Stop owning so many clothes.

We understand the power of what we wear, and how it can impact the first impression that we make, but do we have too many choices? Over the years, our wardrobes have grown to the point that the idea of moving house fills us with dread.

We have lost count of just how many items we have, as each year they are added by the various holidays and celebrations that suggest clothing as a quick and easy present choice. Buying clothes can be fun too, and we all like to wear new items. The problem is that in our fast paced, multiple choice, lives, it’s all too easy to suffer from decision fatigue.

It takes energy to make decisions, and we can be assaulted by choices every moment of the day. We need to limit this by building habits such as the route to work we take, what we have for breakfast, and what clothing we wear. You probably have a style that suits you, and an outfit or two that makes you feel confident and attractive. So why not replicate that every day? 

You will not be alone. In fact, you will be in the company of Presidents and CEO’s. Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, and Barack Obama, all had a small interchangeable wardrobes. Your aim is to limit the choice, know you will look good and be comfortable, and as an added bonus, you will be adding to your personal brand.

“I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.” – Barack Obama

2. Body Eating Spirit or Water Of Life? Stop drinking alcohol.

Alcohol can be seen as a great way to relax, network, or deal with imposter syndrome. It can calm the nerves, feels like it boosts creativity, and help us de-stress. Sadly, it can also get out of hand, cause regret, waste time and money.

Alcohol does have an impact. If you’re not happy, or are struggling to achieve your goals, it may be time to quit drinking and see what happens. Recently, Justin Kan, the 35 year old that sold Twitch to Amazon for $1 Billion, has stated that he has given up alcohol as it was preventing him from being fully in touch with his emotions and his experience of life.

Other big names such as Warren Buffet, Tyra Banks, and Jennifer Lopez are also teetotal. It might be a struggle at first, but there will be many benefits that begin to appear over time. 

Even in the short term, you will have better quality sleep, more energy and focus, as well as a fighting fund of additional cash. Giving up alcohol may just give you that slight edge you need to win.

3. Your Life Is Not A Soap Opera, Stop with the drama

As human beings, we are natural storytellers. We can be happily productive and going about our day until we hear a colleague telling a story. It might be meaningless, and have nothing to do with our lives or our work, yet we need to know what happens!

As the characters fall into place and the drama unfolds, we begin to get involved in a narrative that has nothing to do with our own journey. We want to be part of the fairy tale, with the villain, the hero, the overcoming of obstacles. Sadly, what we often end up with is merely gossip. Gossip that often has nothing to do with reality.

“Anyone who will gossip to you, will gossip about you.” 

We know our goal and what we want to achieve. The drama is a distraction pulling us off target. It is another form of procrastination. We may even be attracting it by mind reading and creating fictional motivations for those around us to cause us stress. We need to remove the drama from our lives and focus on creating a calm and conflict free environment that prioritizes effective communication and the reality of the situation.

Try stopping these 3 things for a month and see what happens. Will the more streamlined and focused version of you be more successful? Let us know below!

Darren Horne is an educator and consultant focusing on leadership and communications. He is an author of an award winning book, a Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner, on the board of trustees for an alcohol and addiction charity, and has been interviewed globally. His mission is to help a million people be a little happier. Darren also owns a martial arts studio focusing on mindfulness, emotional intelligence and life performance. You can find him on Facebook, and

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Emile Steenveld Speaker and Coach

Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation.

Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing yourself more confidently and authentically, and improving your mental and emotional well-being. Effective communication is an essential life skill that can benefit you in all aspects of your life.

But, don’t worry if you don’t naturally possess this skill, as effective communication is something that can be developed with practice, planning and preparation.

1.  Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and responding to what they are saying.


2. Use “I” statements: Speak from your own perspective and avoid placing blame or making accusations.


3. Avoid assumptions: Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.


4. Be clear: Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely by getting to the point and avoid using jargon or overly complex language.


5. Show empathy: Show that you understand and care about the other person’s feelings.


6. Offer valuable insights: When speaking in a group, provide a valuable takeaway or actionable item that people can walk away with.


7. Be an active listener: Listen attentively and respond accordingly, incorporating your points into the conversation.


8. Choose the right time: Pick the most opportune time to speak to ensure that you have the group’s attention and can deliver your message without interruption.


9. Be the unifying voice: Step in and unify the group’s thoughts to calm down the discussion and insert your point effectively.


10. Keep responses concise: Keep responses short and to the point to show respect for others’ time.


11. Avoid unnecessary comments: Avoid commenting on everything and only speak when you have something important to say.


12. Cut the fluff: Avoid being long-winded and get straight to the point.


13. Prepare ahead of time: Sort out your points and practice them before speaking in a group.


14. Smile and be positive: Smile and nod along as others speak, to build a positive relationship and be respected when it’s your turn to speak.


15. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.


16. Ask questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or misunderstandings.


17. Avoid interrupting: Allow the other person to finish speaking without interruption.


18. Practice active listening: Repeat what the other person said to ensure you have understood correctly.


19. Use your body language too: Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to convey your message and build rapport.


20. Be aware of the tone of your voice: it should be calm and assertive, not aggressive or passive.


By keeping these tips in mind, you can improve your communication skills and become a more powerful communicator, which can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a more fulfilling life.

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