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5 Self-Defeating Messages to Immediately Stop Telling Yourself

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5 Self-Defeating Messages to Immediately Stop Telling Yourself

Is it too much to ask for? A comfortable home, freedom to jet away on relaxing vacations, success at pursuing your dream. I wanted it all, too.

After getting two fancy degrees in wildlife biology, I grew tired of field life. I was waking up at 4:00 every morning to haul 60 lbs. of mammal traps into the pine woods of Mississippi. On a good day, I’d collect data on my catch before it hit a hundred degrees outside.

When I found out that people made a living doing work they designed on their own, I was all in. I told myself it would have to be all or nothing, my wildlife job or my dream work. So, I quit my job, bought a url, and opened up shop.

 

No limits
 

I went through my savings in less than a year. I had zero income and felt like all I was doing was chasing my own tail and getting nowhere. The harder I had to work at my dream, the more I told myself that I couldn’t do it. Little did I know that it wasn’t my dream that was getting in my way. It was all the lies I was telling myself about how to actualize it.

Here are 5 dangerous messages that sabotage your success and how you can stop calling yourself a failure:

 

1. My dream won’t succeed until I quit my job

Thinking you have to choose between your job or your dream can lead to rash decisions. You can still enjoy your dream work, build the life you want, and make money on the side, even while you work your day job. Stop telling yourself that you can’t pursue your dream unless you leave your career. Working a job can afford you the time you need to grow your success slowly.

 

2. I’ll never be as good as everyone else

Comparing yourself to others only leads to someone else’s version of success. Only you know the life you want to build. Stop telling yourself that you’ll reach success exactly the way other people did. You are the only one who holds the keys to your own successful path.

“The most difficult times are the ones we give ourselves.” – Pema Chodron

3. I can’t start until I’m an expert

One of the biggest stumbling blocks to success is resistance to getting started. Don’t wait for all the lights to turn green. You know more about your direction than most other people do. Stop telling yourself that you’re not good enough to start. Use what you know and start your path of advancing toward your dream.

 

4. I’m a failure if I don’t succeed within a year

Defining your success by a restricted time line is one of the quickest ways to nose-dive. Whether your success is measured by going full-time with your dream, becoming profitable from what you envision, or pursing work you love, success happens in its own time. Stop telling yourself that you failed if you don’t reach your goals in a certain time period. Invest your time in strategizing what will get you ahead, not dreaming about time lines. Celebrate successful milestones along the way.

 

5. I don’t have the time to chase my dream

Telling yourself you don’t have time only shelves your dream before you even get started. We all have 24 hours in a day. Learn to manage your priorities, not your time. Stop telling yourself you need extra time to fulfill your dream. Take the time you have and do something different with it.

“You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.” – Charles Burton

Today, I work a job I love and build my dream in a smart, focused way. Struggling on my own taught me to practice my craft, respond to challenges effectively, and target my efforts where they count the most.

Following your dream is hard enough without telling yourself you’ll never make it. Don’t be your own worst spokesperson. Fashion your success according to what works for your own situation. Formulate empowering assumptions about yourself. Success isn’t established by the final outcome.

The only one who can determine your success or failure is you! What self-defeating message are you currently telling yourself and what are you going to do about it? Please leave your answers and comments below!

Anne Bechard's got a secret super power to turn side-hustle bloggers into cash-flow machines. She writes for Business Insider, Huffington Post, and Entrepreneur Magazine. Join her community and pick up your free copy of her Winning Tips That Make You a Profitable Blogger.

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. denny

    Oct 9, 2015 at 12:50 am

    Thanks for the advice. I have found it hard to sustain faith during lengthy periods with little sign of progress. Did you have any long periods without any signs of small success to celebrate? If so, how did you carry on?

  2. Anne | Bloggers with Day Jobs

    Sep 28, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    So true, Lawrence! We limit ourselves when we constrict what our success has to look like. There are many ways to reach our potential. Thanks for weighing in and sharing some great insight!

  3. Thedore Nwangene

    Sep 27, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    Hello Anne,
    This is a very inspirational post indeed. There are always great powers in the words of out mouth and even in the ways we thinks.

    This is the main reason why we need to be always very careful of the things we say to our self and what we thinks about. If you form the habit of always thinking about failure then, you’re doomed to fail, there are no two ways about it.

    That’s why they say that The world is like a mirror which gives back to everyone the true reflection of his thoughts.

    Therefore, we should cultivate the habit of always thinking positive and affirming that we will succeed in everything we’re doing and believe me, it will eventually materialize.

    • Anne | Bloggers with Day Jobs

      Sep 28, 2015 at 4:13 pm

      Great insight, Theodore! What we say to ourselves definitely determines how we attain success. I’ll remember your idea about mirroring our thoughts to others, too. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  4. Lawrence Berry

    Sep 27, 2015 at 1:46 am

    Sometime we get caught in the trap of thinking that we have to have a career or be an entrepreneur and that we can’t do both. We have to realize that we can do whatever we want to do in this life with enough determination. The true way to financial freedom and the freedom from our jobs that so many people crave is passive income and the belief that we can shape our own lives. The limiting beliefs that you have stated here have killed so many people dreams and I agree with all of the ones you have stated here. You have time to do whatever you make time for. We should learn to stop making excuses.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

4 Scientifically Proven Habits That Will Give You the Edge You Need

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habits

For me, outstanding success and prosperity that remains stable in a fast-evolving world is the only kind of success I care about. Not enough success gurus and motivational coaches are good at sharing principles and practices that can actually help anyone anywhere achieve long-term success.

Due to the fact that most people are only interested in “quick fixes,” the marketplace, especially in personal and professional growth, has focused on selling the idea of magic bullets and instant productivity spells aimed at luring you into whatever product they want you to buy.

However, there are those who seem to be focused on the long game, the grand vision. I spent a significant amount of time and money several years ago learning from one of the world’s leading high-performance coach, Brendon Burchard.

At a time when the highway to online success seemed grim and too advanced for me to tackle on my own, Brendon Burchard’s weekly mentoring, encouragement and training on how to speak my voice regardless of my past played a major role in the birth of my business. 

In fact, to a great extent, his ideas still continue to positively impact my life which is why the scientifically based research he revealed on habits helping shape world-class individuals resonates with me tremendously. 

If you haven’t taken the time to figure out the kind of habits you need in order to achieve significant success in any area of life – now is the best time to do so. 

As this year ripens into full maturity you need to make sure you end it bigger and better than it started. More importantly, you need to make sure the coming year is already primed for even greater growth and success.

How do you do this without driving yourself insane? How do you become extraordinary at whatever it is you desire to accomplish? What are the specific habits you can deploy today to become a high performer?

After three years of extensive data and research from dozens of countries, here are a few of the success producing habits now being backed by science:

1. Seek more clarity

This is a habit few ever consciously develop. No wonder overwhelm and confusion are considered normal. Start asking yourself high-quality questions on a daily basis enabling you to discern truth in your life. Approach your daily activities with greater intention and razor-sharp focus.

There are few things more powerful than a life lived with passionate clarity.” – Erwin McManus

2. Learn to generate energy

If you want to enjoy sustainable success and ever increasing prosperity, you can’t afford to be bogged down by fatigue, loss of enthusiasm and lethargy. When was the last time you went seven straight days feeling energized, enthusiastic and ready to crush it in your personal and professional life?

Mental, emotional, and physical energy is something you must deliberately and consciously learn to create and imbue into the world if you don’t want to burn out. This is how you’ll learn to cultivate and generate more positive emotions and interactions with other people as well as your daily activities.

3. Raise your standards and expectations

Setting the right expectations for your life and business is a must. Most people have big dreams but very low standards and even lower expectations for themselves. There’s a mindset shift that’s required here because your results will never outperform the standards you’ve set for yourself.

To be a high performing individual in your chosen field, you will have to make excellence your new norm. Brendon Burchard frames it differently, he teaches it as increasing your performance necessity levels. Why is this important?

Unless your brain and entire being perceive it as your normal standard, unleashing the leader within you and becoming your best self will feel more like forced labor which will not be sustainable.

Raise your standards to exceed your expectations.” – Cecily Morgan

4. Increase your productivity

Productivity is a hot topic with almost every motivational speaker. But do you really know what you need to do to increase your productivity? Or are you just running through the motions of listening to outside opinions trying to imitate what works for others, in the hopes that it’ll work for you too?

Every ambitious success seeker understands the importance of being productive. Few are actually able to do it effectively, consistently and toward meaningful work. As you learn to integrate the first three habits into your life, it will feel more natural and effortless to increase output and do work that matters.

If you want to crush it day in day out, week after week in your primary field of interest then it is time to learn effective strategies and tactics that align with your goals, your values and simultaneously make you more productive. Thanks to technology, this is not only possible, it’s doable.

While this isn’t the comprehensive list of habits that can make you “get the edge” in life and finally out-perform others in your space, you now have a solid starting ground for simple things you can start doing today to become a high performer.

Now I would love to hear from you, did any of these habits resonate with you? Do you have any suggestion of your own that has proven effective? Comment below!

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Life

3 Steps to Increasing Your Confidence for Good

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confidence

As an ambitious person on the road to success, you know first hand how challenging it is to achieve your lofty goals. Let’s be honest, the road to success is littered with potholes and unexpected curves.

You need a consistent feeling of confidence if you want to make it to the finish line and rise victoriously. That’s why in this article, you’re going to learn the most simple and effective 3-step sequence to help you increase your confidence for good.

1. Learn One Thing

As an informed reader here, we’re skipping past the part where we harp on the importance of taking action for building confidence. You already took action by reading this article with the desire to get better. Perhaps, you made the sales call, pressed publish on your new post, did the interview, or pitched your idea.

But now it’s time to immediately learn one thing from the action you just took. The second after you take action, ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I can learn from this, to ensure I get a better result next time?”

If you’ve read Gary Keller’s powerful book, The One Thing, you know success isn’t about trying to do a million things. It’s about doing one thing — exceptionally. Similarly, instead of trying to derive 86 lessons from that sales call you just finished, start learning simply the number one best thing you can.

Here in step one, you do so by asking yourself the aforementioned question. It works like magic. When you ask yourself a question, your brain outputs an answer. This only happens if you start this sequence immediately after you take action — regardless of the result.

Extraordinary results happen only when you give the best you have to become the best you can be at your most important work.” – Gary Keller

2. Validate Yourself

In step two, take the time to validate yourself with positive self talk. Tell yourself, “Nice job. That took courage. Let’s keep going, baby. I’m going to do this. I’ve got this.” The key here is to speak to yourself positively and authentically. Speak to yourself the way a great mentor, coach, or friend would. Remember too, in this step, you are not pumping yourself up with empty affirmations or false hope.

You are validating yourself because you took action and you learned from that action. This deserves credit. By practicing the act of self validation here in step two, you train yourself to remain confident regardless of whether or not you achieved or came up short.

Validate yourself whether you land the client or fail to do so. Most don’t do this, it’s why they lack confidence. But you? You act, learn, then validate yourself, regardless of the external result. This trains you to feel good about yourself no matter what people say about you.

While most people crumble when they don’t get the results they desired, you feel confident even when you lose this battle. You know that the campaign is long, and, if you keep learning, you’ll get accomplish the goals you desire in the end.

3. Repeat the Action

Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it.” Carnegie said it best and it’s why step three is a simple call to action — to repeat the action you just took. By repeating the action as soon as possible, you don’t give yourself time to ruminate or overthink.

In step one, you learned one important, personalized nugget of wisdom that’ll help you perform better from now on. Then in step two, you validated yourself with positive self talk — reminding yourself that by continuing to take persistent action, success is inevitable.

Now? There’s nothing left to say. Without delay, it’s time to get back on the horse and take another crack at it! Your confidence continues to grow as you take more actions, learn more from those actions, and remind yourself that you’re a champ for taking all these actions!

“Don’t let small thinking cut your life down to size. Think big, aim high, act bold. And see just how big you can blow up your life.” – Gary Keller

Why This 3-Step Sequence Increases Your Confidence for Good

By repeating this sequence, you gain important knowledge, continuously remind yourself of your positive traits, and most importantly — you desensitize yourself to any fears you once had.

You’re going to fall in love with this process of taking action. Whether that action for you is making sales calls, pitching your startup to investors, interviewing for competitive positions, or publishing new content online, the more you act using these 3-steps, the more confident you’ll become.

A key side benefit of using this sequence is you quickly enter a massive, perpetual state of action. This all but guarantees you increased real world results. These improved results become the cherry on top to your core confidence.

When you lack confidence, how do you find the confidence you need again? Let us know by commenting below!

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Life

3 Ingredients to Create the Life of Your Dreams

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how to create the life of your dreams

Let’s bake a cake! This recipe calls for three simple ingredients: one cup of Courage, two tablespoons of Initiative, and three teaspoons of Will. You can put the money, education, and physical attractiveness back in the refrigerator. They can help improve the taste or quality, but they are not required to bake this cake. The cake is a metaphor for the life of your dreams. If you want to create massive achievement in your life, you will need to obtain courage, initiative, and will.

The main ingredients of courage, initiative, and will are fundamental to long term-achievement. You need the courage to start. The initiative is necessary to think outside the box. Will is required to continue when it gets tough.

Whether we are talking about achieving long-term happiness via a personal relationship or individual experiences, the ingredients mentioned above can significantly increase your chances of obtaining the life of your dreams. You aren’t born with courage, initiative, or will. In fact, you are born with fear, reluctance, and other mechanisms designed to keep you safe. However, with an intentional mindset guided by positive optimism, these characteristics can be grown and cultivated in a garden of possibilities for your life!  

How can you acquire courage, initiative, and will? Check out my 3 tips below:

1. Travel or better yet move out of the country

Yes, I will give you a moment to reread the line above. My first recommendation is for you to travel or ideally move out of the country! Travel and undeniably relocating outside of the country you were born in, requires courage. You must be brave to face the unknown, and there is no better way to do this other than to get out of your comfortable home environment and see the world. The experiences with traveling or moving will automatically build the courage within you to reach toward the achievements that you desire in life.  

“Dare to live the life you’ve always wanted.”

2. Learn a new language

Ideally, with the recommendation from number one, you will choose a location where a language other than your native tongue is spoken. With language acquisition, the learner must develop a spirit of initiative to do something that is not required. You can live your entire life and only communicate in one language, or you can expand your horizon and do something different. To become fluent in a new language will not be easy; the life of your dreams is worth the fight. The process of learning a language will attract the necessary skill set that accompanies initiative and ties in within my final recommendation.

3. Fail as often as possible

In traveling and undeniably with learning a new language, you will make mistakes. If you are not failing in the process of adjusting to a different culture, which will occur in traveling and language acquisition, you are doing something wrong! You must fail to adapt and ideally this will happen as frequent as possible. This does not mean that you look to fail. It does mean that you understand failure as an opportunity to learn. Failure builds your ability to develop the power of will. Possessing will can enable you to learn from your mistakes, improve, and keep pushing toward the achievements that can create the life of your dreams.  

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” – Gerard Way

If you put courage, initiative, and will into the oven responsible for making your dreams become a reality, you will be successful. It will not be easy. Occasionally you will become frustrated and want to open the door and see what’s taking so long for the cake or the life you desire. However, just stay the course and allow courage, initiative, and will to blend and bring into fruition the life of your dreams.

What other ingredients would you add?  Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

5 Skills You and Your Partner Need to Master to Become an Unstoppable Power Couple

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power couple

Power Couples: Those two words have to be the sexiest two words in the business world when placed together. What’s even sexier is when OTHERS label you and your significant other as a power couple.

I pride myself on being able to call my girlfriend and I a power couple. We are always on the same wavelength when it comes to goals, ambitions, and our vision. While we weren’t always such a strong couple, what it took to get to that point was a long journey of daily commitment and consistency.

In this article, I am going to share with you what has worked for our relationship over the past 6 years. While most of us feel we can run our business on our own, there are many that wish their significant other were just as involved and passionate about entrepreneurship as we are.

Stay focused on these five power couple truths and watch your relationship and businesses thrive:

1. Shared Vision & Goals

A couple should share a similar vision. Two people with a shared vision is so powerful because both people can always hold each other accountable for their goals in order to achieve that shared vision. If one person cannot buy into the other person’s vision, there won’t be the full support of the actions steps and the process it takes to achieve those goals. I personally love the fact that my girlfriend and I share a similar vision.

“The more people you help become successful the more successful you become.” – Steve Harvey

2. Effective Communication

Business or not, people need to be able to communicate effectively, which was extremely difficult to me when I first got into business. I mean, come on; up until I was 28 years old, I never even knew what “networking” was. However, over time within the business community I learned that communication in relationships is just as paramount as in business. Through solid and effective communication we have been able to understand each other’s struggles more, which has led us to daily masterminding sessions and a growth in our shared vision, mindset, and businesses.

3. Personal Development

Personal development is crucial in business and as a power couple. Being able to grow together professionally and intellectually is such an awarding feeling in my relationship. If you are both learning and growing together, imagine how strong your two minds are together. It’s a proven fact amongst entrepreneurs that focusing on personal growth builds confidence and a strong mindset. Multiply that strong mindset by two and you have one hell of a  power couple, ready to take over the world.

4. Quality Time

If you’re in an entrepreneurial relationship, chances are you have had challenges at times when it comes to quality time with your significant other. Hey, I understand. We all have a “Love for the Hustle,” and so does my significant other. She comes from an entrepreneur household and can hustle with the best of us. So the key to making sure we have our quality time is all based on time management. Remember folks, priorities first.

Although you may be supportive and you are okay with less quality time or cancelled dates, always stick to your values to each other and what’s most important to you both and your shared vision and goals. A power couple is only a power couple because of how strong and committed the two are to their relationship just as much as their business.

They know when to turn off the phone and make time for each other genuinely. Remember, with that also includes effective communication to get schedules aligned.

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” – Tony Robbins

5. Endless Support & Encouragement

A true power couple cannot stress how much support and understanding there has to be in their relationship. When you’re on the grind and you hit those roadblocks, not too many people are in your corner. As for me though, when I hit those rough chapters in business, other than my mastermind group, I know there is always one person I can count on to always have my back and bring me back into high spirits and push me further than the day before.

Bottom line, a power couple is a couple that are truly confident in their relationship and in business. Two people in a relationship with a shared goal, vision, and mindset are more powerful than business partners. You both know more about each other than you would even care to know about your business partner and accept each other through all the flaws and mistakes.

There is an unspoken commitment that goes beyond business or friendships. In my experience, being with someone who has just as much hustle as me has been a blessing. There aren’t questions about what time I will be home or who I am meeting. We know we are committed to one another and also hustling for a shared vision or our future.

What are some relationship goals every power couple should have?  Comment below!

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10 Things We Can Learn From the Incredible Steve Jobs

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Steve Jobs

Steven Paul Jobs was one of the greatest visionaries and pioneers of the 21st century. He wasn’t an engineer, did not completed his college degree, yet he was able to turnaround the near-bankrupt Apple into the most valuable brand in the world. He not only transformed one industry but several others such as mobile phones, computers, and movies. (more…)

Katherine Dilworth is a wife, mother and a blogger and she writes on Caseydilworth.com, this blog provides exclusive information on Snoring.

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. denny

    Oct 9, 2015 at 12:50 am

    Thanks for the advice. I have found it hard to sustain faith during lengthy periods with little sign of progress. Did you have any long periods without any signs of small success to celebrate? If so, how did you carry on?

  2. Anne | Bloggers with Day Jobs

    Sep 28, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    So true, Lawrence! We limit ourselves when we constrict what our success has to look like. There are many ways to reach our potential. Thanks for weighing in and sharing some great insight!

  3. Thedore Nwangene

    Sep 27, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    Hello Anne,
    This is a very inspirational post indeed. There are always great powers in the words of out mouth and even in the ways we thinks.

    This is the main reason why we need to be always very careful of the things we say to our self and what we thinks about. If you form the habit of always thinking about failure then, you’re doomed to fail, there are no two ways about it.

    That’s why they say that The world is like a mirror which gives back to everyone the true reflection of his thoughts.

    Therefore, we should cultivate the habit of always thinking positive and affirming that we will succeed in everything we’re doing and believe me, it will eventually materialize.

    • Anne | Bloggers with Day Jobs

      Sep 28, 2015 at 4:13 pm

      Great insight, Theodore! What we say to ourselves definitely determines how we attain success. I’ll remember your idea about mirroring our thoughts to others, too. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  4. Lawrence Berry

    Sep 27, 2015 at 1:46 am

    Sometime we get caught in the trap of thinking that we have to have a career or be an entrepreneur and that we can’t do both. We have to realize that we can do whatever we want to do in this life with enough determination. The true way to financial freedom and the freedom from our jobs that so many people crave is passive income and the belief that we can shape our own lives. The limiting beliefs that you have stated here have killed so many people dreams and I agree with all of the ones you have stated here. You have time to do whatever you make time for. We should learn to stop making excuses.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

4 Scientifically Proven Habits That Will Give You the Edge You Need

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habits

For me, outstanding success and prosperity that remains stable in a fast-evolving world is the only kind of success I care about. Not enough success gurus and motivational coaches are good at sharing principles and practices that can actually help anyone anywhere achieve long-term success.

Due to the fact that most people are only interested in “quick fixes,” the marketplace, especially in personal and professional growth, has focused on selling the idea of magic bullets and instant productivity spells aimed at luring you into whatever product they want you to buy.

However, there are those who seem to be focused on the long game, the grand vision. I spent a significant amount of time and money several years ago learning from one of the world’s leading high-performance coach, Brendon Burchard.

At a time when the highway to online success seemed grim and too advanced for me to tackle on my own, Brendon Burchard’s weekly mentoring, encouragement and training on how to speak my voice regardless of my past played a major role in the birth of my business. 

In fact, to a great extent, his ideas still continue to positively impact my life which is why the scientifically based research he revealed on habits helping shape world-class individuals resonates with me tremendously. 

If you haven’t taken the time to figure out the kind of habits you need in order to achieve significant success in any area of life – now is the best time to do so. 

As this year ripens into full maturity you need to make sure you end it bigger and better than it started. More importantly, you need to make sure the coming year is already primed for even greater growth and success.

How do you do this without driving yourself insane? How do you become extraordinary at whatever it is you desire to accomplish? What are the specific habits you can deploy today to become a high performer?

After three years of extensive data and research from dozens of countries, here are a few of the success producing habits now being backed by science:

1. Seek more clarity

This is a habit few ever consciously develop. No wonder overwhelm and confusion are considered normal. Start asking yourself high-quality questions on a daily basis enabling you to discern truth in your life. Approach your daily activities with greater intention and razor-sharp focus.

There are few things more powerful than a life lived with passionate clarity.” – Erwin McManus

2. Learn to generate energy

If you want to enjoy sustainable success and ever increasing prosperity, you can’t afford to be bogged down by fatigue, loss of enthusiasm and lethargy. When was the last time you went seven straight days feeling energized, enthusiastic and ready to crush it in your personal and professional life?

Mental, emotional, and physical energy is something you must deliberately and consciously learn to create and imbue into the world if you don’t want to burn out. This is how you’ll learn to cultivate and generate more positive emotions and interactions with other people as well as your daily activities.

3. Raise your standards and expectations

Setting the right expectations for your life and business is a must. Most people have big dreams but very low standards and even lower expectations for themselves. There’s a mindset shift that’s required here because your results will never outperform the standards you’ve set for yourself.

To be a high performing individual in your chosen field, you will have to make excellence your new norm. Brendon Burchard frames it differently, he teaches it as increasing your performance necessity levels. Why is this important?

Unless your brain and entire being perceive it as your normal standard, unleashing the leader within you and becoming your best self will feel more like forced labor which will not be sustainable.

Raise your standards to exceed your expectations.” – Cecily Morgan

4. Increase your productivity

Productivity is a hot topic with almost every motivational speaker. But do you really know what you need to do to increase your productivity? Or are you just running through the motions of listening to outside opinions trying to imitate what works for others, in the hopes that it’ll work for you too?

Every ambitious success seeker understands the importance of being productive. Few are actually able to do it effectively, consistently and toward meaningful work. As you learn to integrate the first three habits into your life, it will feel more natural and effortless to increase output and do work that matters.

If you want to crush it day in day out, week after week in your primary field of interest then it is time to learn effective strategies and tactics that align with your goals, your values and simultaneously make you more productive. Thanks to technology, this is not only possible, it’s doable.

While this isn’t the comprehensive list of habits that can make you “get the edge” in life and finally out-perform others in your space, you now have a solid starting ground for simple things you can start doing today to become a high performer.

Now I would love to hear from you, did any of these habits resonate with you? Do you have any suggestion of your own that has proven effective? Comment below!

Continue Reading

Life

3 Steps to Increasing Your Confidence for Good

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confidence

As an ambitious person on the road to success, you know first hand how challenging it is to achieve your lofty goals. Let’s be honest, the road to success is littered with potholes and unexpected curves.

You need a consistent feeling of confidence if you want to make it to the finish line and rise victoriously. That’s why in this article, you’re going to learn the most simple and effective 3-step sequence to help you increase your confidence for good.

1. Learn One Thing

As an informed reader here, we’re skipping past the part where we harp on the importance of taking action for building confidence. You already took action by reading this article with the desire to get better. Perhaps, you made the sales call, pressed publish on your new post, did the interview, or pitched your idea.

But now it’s time to immediately learn one thing from the action you just took. The second after you take action, ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I can learn from this, to ensure I get a better result next time?”

If you’ve read Gary Keller’s powerful book, The One Thing, you know success isn’t about trying to do a million things. It’s about doing one thing — exceptionally. Similarly, instead of trying to derive 86 lessons from that sales call you just finished, start learning simply the number one best thing you can.

Here in step one, you do so by asking yourself the aforementioned question. It works like magic. When you ask yourself a question, your brain outputs an answer. This only happens if you start this sequence immediately after you take action — regardless of the result.

Extraordinary results happen only when you give the best you have to become the best you can be at your most important work.” – Gary Keller

2. Validate Yourself

In step two, take the time to validate yourself with positive self talk. Tell yourself, “Nice job. That took courage. Let’s keep going, baby. I’m going to do this. I’ve got this.” The key here is to speak to yourself positively and authentically. Speak to yourself the way a great mentor, coach, or friend would. Remember too, in this step, you are not pumping yourself up with empty affirmations or false hope.

You are validating yourself because you took action and you learned from that action. This deserves credit. By practicing the act of self validation here in step two, you train yourself to remain confident regardless of whether or not you achieved or came up short.

Validate yourself whether you land the client or fail to do so. Most don’t do this, it’s why they lack confidence. But you? You act, learn, then validate yourself, regardless of the external result. This trains you to feel good about yourself no matter what people say about you.

While most people crumble when they don’t get the results they desired, you feel confident even when you lose this battle. You know that the campaign is long, and, if you keep learning, you’ll get accomplish the goals you desire in the end.

3. Repeat the Action

Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it.” Carnegie said it best and it’s why step three is a simple call to action — to repeat the action you just took. By repeating the action as soon as possible, you don’t give yourself time to ruminate or overthink.

In step one, you learned one important, personalized nugget of wisdom that’ll help you perform better from now on. Then in step two, you validated yourself with positive self talk — reminding yourself that by continuing to take persistent action, success is inevitable.

Now? There’s nothing left to say. Without delay, it’s time to get back on the horse and take another crack at it! Your confidence continues to grow as you take more actions, learn more from those actions, and remind yourself that you’re a champ for taking all these actions!

“Don’t let small thinking cut your life down to size. Think big, aim high, act bold. And see just how big you can blow up your life.” – Gary Keller

Why This 3-Step Sequence Increases Your Confidence for Good

By repeating this sequence, you gain important knowledge, continuously remind yourself of your positive traits, and most importantly — you desensitize yourself to any fears you once had.

You’re going to fall in love with this process of taking action. Whether that action for you is making sales calls, pitching your startup to investors, interviewing for competitive positions, or publishing new content online, the more you act using these 3-steps, the more confident you’ll become.

A key side benefit of using this sequence is you quickly enter a massive, perpetual state of action. This all but guarantees you increased real world results. These improved results become the cherry on top to your core confidence.

When you lack confidence, how do you find the confidence you need again? Let us know by commenting below!

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3 Ingredients to Create the Life of Your Dreams

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Let’s bake a cake! This recipe calls for three simple ingredients: one cup of Courage, two tablespoons of Initiative, and three teaspoons of Will. You can put the money, education, and physical attractiveness back in the refrigerator. They can help improve the taste or quality, but they are not required to bake this cake. The cake is a metaphor for the life of your dreams. If you want to create massive achievement in your life, you will need to obtain courage, initiative, and will.

The main ingredients of courage, initiative, and will are fundamental to long term-achievement. You need the courage to start. The initiative is necessary to think outside the box. Will is required to continue when it gets tough.

Whether we are talking about achieving long-term happiness via a personal relationship or individual experiences, the ingredients mentioned above can significantly increase your chances of obtaining the life of your dreams. You aren’t born with courage, initiative, or will. In fact, you are born with fear, reluctance, and other mechanisms designed to keep you safe. However, with an intentional mindset guided by positive optimism, these characteristics can be grown and cultivated in a garden of possibilities for your life!  

How can you acquire courage, initiative, and will? Check out my 3 tips below:

1. Travel or better yet move out of the country

Yes, I will give you a moment to reread the line above. My first recommendation is for you to travel or ideally move out of the country! Travel and undeniably relocating outside of the country you were born in, requires courage. You must be brave to face the unknown, and there is no better way to do this other than to get out of your comfortable home environment and see the world. The experiences with traveling or moving will automatically build the courage within you to reach toward the achievements that you desire in life.  

“Dare to live the life you’ve always wanted.”

2. Learn a new language

Ideally, with the recommendation from number one, you will choose a location where a language other than your native tongue is spoken. With language acquisition, the learner must develop a spirit of initiative to do something that is not required. You can live your entire life and only communicate in one language, or you can expand your horizon and do something different. To become fluent in a new language will not be easy; the life of your dreams is worth the fight. The process of learning a language will attract the necessary skill set that accompanies initiative and ties in within my final recommendation.

3. Fail as often as possible

In traveling and undeniably with learning a new language, you will make mistakes. If you are not failing in the process of adjusting to a different culture, which will occur in traveling and language acquisition, you are doing something wrong! You must fail to adapt and ideally this will happen as frequent as possible. This does not mean that you look to fail. It does mean that you understand failure as an opportunity to learn. Failure builds your ability to develop the power of will. Possessing will can enable you to learn from your mistakes, improve, and keep pushing toward the achievements that can create the life of your dreams.  

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” – Gerard Way

If you put courage, initiative, and will into the oven responsible for making your dreams become a reality, you will be successful. It will not be easy. Occasionally you will become frustrated and want to open the door and see what’s taking so long for the cake or the life you desire. However, just stay the course and allow courage, initiative, and will to blend and bring into fruition the life of your dreams.

What other ingredients would you add?  Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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5 Skills You and Your Partner Need to Master to Become an Unstoppable Power Couple

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Power Couples: Those two words have to be the sexiest two words in the business world when placed together. What’s even sexier is when OTHERS label you and your significant other as a power couple.

I pride myself on being able to call my girlfriend and I a power couple. We are always on the same wavelength when it comes to goals, ambitions, and our vision. While we weren’t always such a strong couple, what it took to get to that point was a long journey of daily commitment and consistency.

In this article, I am going to share with you what has worked for our relationship over the past 6 years. While most of us feel we can run our business on our own, there are many that wish their significant other were just as involved and passionate about entrepreneurship as we are.

Stay focused on these five power couple truths and watch your relationship and businesses thrive:

1. Shared Vision & Goals

A couple should share a similar vision. Two people with a shared vision is so powerful because both people can always hold each other accountable for their goals in order to achieve that shared vision. If one person cannot buy into the other person’s vision, there won’t be the full support of the actions steps and the process it takes to achieve those goals. I personally love the fact that my girlfriend and I share a similar vision.

“The more people you help become successful the more successful you become.” – Steve Harvey

2. Effective Communication

Business or not, people need to be able to communicate effectively, which was extremely difficult to me when I first got into business. I mean, come on; up until I was 28 years old, I never even knew what “networking” was. However, over time within the business community I learned that communication in relationships is just as paramount as in business. Through solid and effective communication we have been able to understand each other’s struggles more, which has led us to daily masterminding sessions and a growth in our shared vision, mindset, and businesses.

3. Personal Development

Personal development is crucial in business and as a power couple. Being able to grow together professionally and intellectually is such an awarding feeling in my relationship. If you are both learning and growing together, imagine how strong your two minds are together. It’s a proven fact amongst entrepreneurs that focusing on personal growth builds confidence and a strong mindset. Multiply that strong mindset by two and you have one hell of a  power couple, ready to take over the world.

4. Quality Time

If you’re in an entrepreneurial relationship, chances are you have had challenges at times when it comes to quality time with your significant other. Hey, I understand. We all have a “Love for the Hustle,” and so does my significant other. She comes from an entrepreneur household and can hustle with the best of us. So the key to making sure we have our quality time is all based on time management. Remember folks, priorities first.

Although you may be supportive and you are okay with less quality time or cancelled dates, always stick to your values to each other and what’s most important to you both and your shared vision and goals. A power couple is only a power couple because of how strong and committed the two are to their relationship just as much as their business.

They know when to turn off the phone and make time for each other genuinely. Remember, with that also includes effective communication to get schedules aligned.

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” – Tony Robbins

5. Endless Support & Encouragement

A true power couple cannot stress how much support and understanding there has to be in their relationship. When you’re on the grind and you hit those roadblocks, not too many people are in your corner. As for me though, when I hit those rough chapters in business, other than my mastermind group, I know there is always one person I can count on to always have my back and bring me back into high spirits and push me further than the day before.

Bottom line, a power couple is a couple that are truly confident in their relationship and in business. Two people in a relationship with a shared goal, vision, and mindset are more powerful than business partners. You both know more about each other than you would even care to know about your business partner and accept each other through all the flaws and mistakes.

There is an unspoken commitment that goes beyond business or friendships. In my experience, being with someone who has just as much hustle as me has been a blessing. There aren’t questions about what time I will be home or who I am meeting. We know we are committed to one another and also hustling for a shared vision or our future.

What are some relationship goals every power couple should have?  Comment below!

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