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6 Strategies That Will Kickstart Your Dream Life

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how to live your dream life

Do you ever get the feeling that your real life has not yet begun? That you have much more to offer? Do you ever feel like you’re not living your true potential?

If this is a feeling that lingers with you then you probably haven’t tapped into all your greatness just yet. But not to worry, now is the time to shift that energy. It’s said that your life changes when you do.

Here are 6 strategies to get you started:

1. Adopt a Kanye West mindset

In other words, aim ridiculously high. Most people tend to settle for average goals since these are “reasonable”. The problem with that is that it creates a lot of competition for the reasonable opportunities. But if you instead strive for something beyond the ordinary, you will notice that there are few people doing the same. Which means that you actually improve your odds.

 

2. Risk it like when in Vegas

“Negativity bias” is a psychological phenomenon which means that we tend to overestimate risk by underestimating our own ability to handle eventual bad consequences of taking a risk. And at the same time underestimate all the possibilities that would come with taking the risk. On top of that, we tend to underestimate the cost of not acting at all. So go go go take more risks, get yourself out there, pitch your idea, network, start a new project. Who cares if you mess up. There is no failure, only feedback.  

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

3. Ask for what you want

You won’t get what you don’t ask for. A common notion is that your dream life will just find you. That people around you, like a potential business partner, your boss or your loved ones knows what it is you want. News flash: They don’t. Save your time and speed up the process by letting people around you know if you’re entitled to a raise, a new exciting project, longer vacation, a new position or better christmas gifts. You name it.

 

4. Don’t read to much into a being told no

This is vital. If you get rejected try again, just take a different route. One time when a magazine editor rejected one of my ideas I contacted her boss instead. Who loved my pitch.  There were 12 publishing houses that rejected J.K Rowling’s Harry Potter story. Yes, that’s right, and we all know that J.K Rowling is laughing all the way to the bank. So be bold, keep going, take another way. Because there is always another way. Consider a ”No” as feedback and ask yourself: What can you improve? View rejection as a redirection to something better.

 

5. Update your belief system

Psychology studies have shown that those who believe in their own ability to succeed tend to perform better and have a greater ability to execute their plans. But a common mistake is that we tend to get caught up in other peoples belief system. Often by listening to their advice or fears. But remember, what they believe that they can or can’t do has actually nothing to do with what you are capable of achieving. So be aware of your thoughts and how they affect the way you act and make decisions.

“A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses. It is an idea that possesses the mind.” – Robert Bolton

6. Challenge the chemistry of your brain

You have probably read a thousand times that you need to face your fears to be able to reach your true potential. But perhaps you’ve wonderd why you have to do such a horrible thing? A simplified biological explanation is that your fears may be linked to an overactivity in the amygdala (which is part of the limbic system in the brain and plays a key role in triggering stress reactions and fear).

The amazing thing is that when you expose yourself to what you experience as unpleasant, such as public speaking, a repeated number of times, the chemistry in your brain changes. The hyperractivity gets reduced and thus suppresses the discomfort, i.e releasing the fear. The more often and the closer in time you do something you find scary, the faster this process of change takes place. So challenge your fears because the chemistry of your body will have your back.

Which one of these tips are you going to put into action right away? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Manda Rydberg is an Contemporary Art Specialist turned Motivational Coach who provides her clients with the confidence to pursue those dreams and changes that might seem too far away.  GreatnessBoost was founded by Manda with the purpose of upgrading your thoughts, beliefs and behaviour.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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