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5 Important Skills That Online Dating Teaches You for Your Career

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Love it or hate it, online dating is here to stay…until the next upgrade. Despite some painful aspects, it can be the perfect training ground to prepare for a job search and teach you valuable work skills. If you’ve ever been on and gone on a date through one of the many sites, you know what I’m talking about. Dates often feel like an interview with question upon question about your life and background.

When you leave, you wonder, did I answer correctly? Am I the best candidate? Will I make it to the next round? And, no, there is no rose. So what’s a guy or gal to do? You learn and evaluate the situations in order to not make the same mistakes again.

In this article, we’ll look at some very concrete skills you take away from this often challenging process. Even if you don’t find the love of your life, you will still see just how great you really are, and how lucky anyone would be to spend time with you.

Here are the top five skills that online dating teaches you that you can use for your job search, career and life:

1. Writing

It’s where it all begins…a simple profile and sending a few messages. Aside from your photo, which sometimes is all people ever view, what you write and how you phrase it may be all that stands between you and finding “the one.” While you likely won’t be graded for grammar and typos, you will be judged on how well you are able to communicate and engage your audience.

Online, aside from a few great photos, content is queen. Like your resume and cover letter, your profile is all you really have to initially distinguish yourself before the decision is made whether or not to meet.

2. Selling

No!, not that kind of selling…well, not exactly.  While you do have to sell yourself within this process, it’s more about selling your brand and lifestyle.

As with most aspects of selling, you need to know your product (you) and your avatar (target audience). Bluntly put, do you have what they want and equally important, can they afford the purchase, e.g. are they the one for you? As in online dating, choosing a place to work is about ensuring it’s a good match for both.

“The best way to sell yourself to others is first to sell the others to yourself.” – Napoleon Hill

3. Marketing

Good photos, the right clothes, and exciting Instagram shots are what can make or break a fantastic picture. Similar to selling or a job interview, the way you appear and demonstrate your credibility as a candidate, impacts whether or not you will get another interview or date. Wearing the right dress, suit, shoes, etc and understanding how to package yourself is critical.

First appearances are everything. Just as interviewers tend to select people like them, dates often look for their types or certain qualities that appeal to them. Knowing how to present yourself in the best possible way may make all the difference between one-time and a lifetime.

4. Strategy

Unfortunately, it’s not as easy being the best candidate for the job or role as future life partner. You have to carefully think about the position and ask yourself, “Am I really the best person for the job?” or “Do I even want to be spending my valuable time with this person or company?” If you decide you do, then think about how best you can achieve this goal.

With companies, like potential dates, it’s about understanding what they’re looking for and positioning your candidacy in a way that will resonate with them. Given the ubiquity of online dating and job sites, it’s easy to apply and use. If you decide you really like this person or job, then you need to figure out what you need to do (or not do) to make your candidacy stand out.

5. Dealing with Rejection/Failure

The reality is that not everyone is for everyone. Like a recruiter looking for a job candidate, potential dates have certain criteria in mind, and whether they write it in their profile, put it in a job description, or have an unrecognized bias, they’ve likely already decided what they want before you even entered the room. In the end, it’s just whether or not you match what they’re looking for.

Inevitably, all you can really do is a brief assessment and learn. The bottom line is, there’s nothing you can do once it’s over. What happens next is completely out of your control or may never have been in your control. Rejection hurts and while it hopefully never stops feeling uncomfortable, it will get easier.

“Remember your dreams and fight for them. You must know what you want from life. There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho

In the end, though we can learn from the process, finding the right person is far different than finding the right job. We put far more of our hearts into the search for love and sadly, far less of our heads.

While we tend to search tirelessly for work, usually creating concrete strategies and defined lists of what we’ll accept, we rarely do that for our potential partners. Conversely, perhaps it’s time to put a bit more of our hearts into the job search process. In the end, the two inevitably impact each other, so maybe it’s finally time to look more holistically at both.

Has maneuvering the world of online dating helped you in your career? Let us know in the comments below!

Andrea J. Miller is a healthcare expert, having worked nationally and internationally with organizations like the CDC, World Health Organization, New York City Department of Health, UN Refugee Agency and UN Programme for HIV/AIDS. She became a passionate wellness and health tech advocate after personal health crises, as a patient and caregiver, led her to seek more natural, holistic alternatives.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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