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4 Ways to Find Yourself Again

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There are many upsides to this interconnected, technologically driven world we live in today. We’re able to quickly and easily connect with people, literally, across the world. Business has become more globalized, and learning has never been more accessible or easy.

However, there are some downsides to our world as it is today also. There’s one in particular that I think is becoming a bigger and bigger issue by the day, and that is people losing themselves. 

You might be wondering what I mean when I say “losing themselves” so let me explain. Now, more than ever before, people are being influenced by outside forces through things like social media. And because of that, we’ve fallen into a culture of comparison, where everyone is seeking to be like those they look up to.

The problem is, in the process of doing that, people are creating lives they don’t truly enjoy and are void of true happiness and fulfillment. Lives that are out of alignment with their core values. That’s the reason why you see trends like the number of millionaires going up every single day, while the rate of depression rises alongside it. The good news is, it’s possible to find and reconnect with yourself again. 

If you’ve ever dealt with that feeling of being unhappy and disconnected from the life you want to be living, keep reading to learn four strategies to find yourself again:

1. Ask those who know you best

There are very few, if any, resources in this life that are greater than relationships. A life well lived is one filled with deep, meaningful relationships. One of the benefits of having those sorts of relationships is being able to have people to go to with things like finding yourself again.

When we go down this rabbit hole of change and transformation in the wrong direction, it becomes difficult to pull ourselves out on our own. That’s where those key relationships come in handy.

The first strategy for finding yourself again is to ask the people who know you best. These people tend to know the “real” you. They can give you insights into some of the parts of yourself that may have gotten buried under all the junk that got piled on over the years. 

Asking those who know you best questions about your strengths, values, and purpose in life can go a long way in helping you rediscover who you are, what you value, and what you were put on this earth to do.

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” – Muhammad Ali

2. Get off social media

Like I mentioned above, social media is such an amazing tool that has so many wonderful aspects to it. But, it can also be prime real estate for an identity complex and someone really getting disconnected from themselves.

The comparison that comes from constant engagement and use of social media is a breeding ground for insecurities and/or lust of wanting to be like someone else or have their life. So, you can probably guess where I’m going with this, but a great way to reconnect with yourself is to get off of social media.

Think about it like this, if you were an alcoholic, you wouldn’t hang out in bars hoping to kick your addiction. At least not if you had high hopes of being successful. Well, if you’re struggling with feeling disconnected and are frequently on social media, maybe a good detox is in order.

It’s estimated that the average adult spends 150 plus minutes a day on social media. If you had that extra time to do the other strategies on this list, imagine how much good that would do you in finding yourself again.

3. Get into nature

If you’re feeling lost and disconnected, a great way to find yourself is to just slow down, be still, and go inward to reconnect with your thoughts and feelings. The problem is, we live in a hustle and bustle society that glorifies being busy. 

And since most people live that way, finding time to be still, get quiet, and go within for answers seems impossible. For most people, long gone are the days of having a quiet space for themselves to completely disconnect without distractions.

That’s why the next great strategy for finding yourself is getting into nature. Sometimes in life we’ve got to force ourselves to go to great lengths in order to get what we want. Well, if still and quiet in order to reconnect is what you’re seeking, there isn’t a much better place to find it than out in nature.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t recall the last time I was in the middle of nowhere and had great WiFi, cars whizzing by, or social media and tv’s to fill my head with nonsense. So much of creating a desired result in life is about intention. Getting yourself out into nature and away from the distractions of the world shows that you’re serious about creating the space necessary to find yourself again.

“We need time to defuse, to contemplate. Just as in sleep our brains relax and give us dreams, so at some time in the day we need to disconnect, reconnect, and look around us.” – Laurie Colwin

4. Attend a personal growth conference or seminar

Okay, this may be the coach coming out in me, but I truly do believe that a great place to reconnect with yourself is at a personal growth conference or seminar. And I’ll tell you why.

If you’ve ever been to one of these events, you know that the primary intention is to help people overcome some sort of obstacle in their lives or get to a new level. There are two great things about these events: 1. Being able to explore your deeper desires, and 2. Being around and connecting with like minded people.

Not only do personal growth events inspire you, but they also present an opportunity for you to do some deep work on yourself and your life. That’s why you hear people talk about walking away from these types of events feeling “transformed.” It’s because they were able to engage in personal growth work that they probably weren’t making time for outside of that sort of setting.

To be clear, these types of events aren’t a “quick fix” type of thing, and shouldn’t be relied upon to fix all your issues. But, they do present a forum for you to detach from your current reality and gain some new perspective on life. 

Plus, personal growth events offer great opportunities for connection. And, even better than that, connection with the right kinds of people. People who are all on a journey of personal growth and discovery. Relationships with the right people can be so catalytic in you finding yourself again, and you’ll be able to find those sorts of connections at personal growth events.

Putting it all together

Let’s be honest, having that feeling of disconnection from yourself sucks. It’s not a fun place to be. But, the good news is that there are steps that you can take when you’re feeling that way, to find yourself again.

If you do the four things I mentioned above, asking those closest to you, getting off of social media, getting into nature, and attending personal growth events, you’ll find it much easier to reconnect with who you are and get yourself back on track in life.

What advice do you have for people who are struggling to reconnect with who they truly are and getting back on track in life? Share your advice below!

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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