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4 Things You Shouldn’t Be Apologizing For

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Have you ever found yourself minimizing your success?  Not sharing all your wins? Or being mindful of who you share your goals with because most wouldn’t get it?  Why is it when we find ourselves with some measure of success, we sometimes want to fly under the radar? For some, it is an apologetic behavior for being great with the hopes of not making others feel less than.

This behavior reminds me of a viral video released a couple of years ago by Pantene called, “Not Sorry”.  According to their site, “it was designed to spark a dialogue about how women unknowingly minimize their strength with the subtle, yet powerful behavior of unnecessarily saying ‘sorry,’ when their is no reason to apologize.”  The video showed examples of small things like walking into a room, being a little late for good reason, and more.

But what about the biggest and most significant things in our lives?  We should not be unnecessarily apologizing for those things big or small.  Instead we should allow our light to shine, be seen, and be heard in order to show others how we overcame the obstacles to our success.

Here are 4 things you shouldn’t be apologizing for:

1. Being yourself

Unless your personality is a detriment to others and causes harm, it’s your gift.  A gift that makes you, uniquely you.  I recently had a good friend who was let go from her job for, get this, for being too positive!  After 20+ successful years in retail, her new boss told her, “Your style is too positive and it won’t help us get the results we need.”

Thankfully, she didn’t apologize for being who she is.  Nor did she try to change what had been the secret to her career this whole time.  Instead, she told him, “I hear you, but the very thing you find wrong with me, is the gift that has gotten me to this point in my career.”  Always be yourself!

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Your success

There are seasons of our lives that were simply made for us.  Ones in which it seems like everything we do, say, or touch, turns to gold.  Winning streaks are exciting and invigorating.  I can remember seasons of my life where I got the new job, the crazy salary increase, and a new house all within a few weeks.  I’ve experienced such seasons even in my business with an influx of new clients, contracts, and revenue.  

It’s the type of success that elevates you to another level causing a gap between you and those watching your success. In the past I’ve been guilty of only sharing the magnitude of such wins with close friends and family. Be the person to show others how you did it and how they can as well. Honor your hard work and celebrate your successes.

 

3. Being driven

Do you have dreams that are so big they make you feel a little crazy? Especially when you have no clue how to bring them to life?  I totally get it! That was me. But what I realized is the only reason those dreams seemed crazy is because sometimes those around us either aren’t dreaming big enough or at all.

Don’t apologize for thinking big, mapping out your inventions, business ideas, or ways to transform your world. Find other big dreamers, thinkers, and go-getters to dream with.  Being average and thinking average is not an option.

 

4. Being well-liked

I will never forget years ago a former co-worker pulled me to the side and told me she was jealous of me.  It took me by surprise. I could not imagine why. She was a colleague with similar skill sets and competencies.  However, she explained her jealousy stemmed from my ability to successfully navigate our organization and being well liked by key leaders.

I clearly remembered saying, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.”  But as I reflect on it now, what was I apologizing for?  I didn’t want to diminish her accomplishments; however I should have just owned my success and encouraged her to do the same!

“If you don’t drive your business, you will be driven out of business.” – B. C. Forbes

What are you unintentionally apologizing for? Be unapologetic about your career and business success, a great marriage, and wonderful family.  All the things that make you and your life great.

Take a stand to embrace the success of the best areas of your life.  Celebrate and share what’s good in your life and in doing so show others what is possible in their own lives.

Do you feel like apologizing for being yourself? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Executive Leadership Coach, Trainer, and Keynote Speaker, Melissa J. Nixon is known as the Courageous Life Mentor.  As Founder of the Courageous Life Academy, a global coaching and consulting firm, she specializes in helping visionary leaders, emerging c-suite executives, CEOs and women influencers to maximize their leadership, business and life potential.   Referred to as a “Powerhouse of Positivity” – Melissa applies a unique “fire-starting” approach to igniting change with her private and corporate clients that helps them to live and lead courageously. Check out her website here: www.courageouslifeacademy.com

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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