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4 Science-Backed Tips That Will Improve Your Social Life



How to improve your social life

No one can deny being socially skilled is one of the most crucial traits one can ever have. As Dale Carnegie once noticed, more than 80% of your success is due to your character and people skills. Your ability to lead people and convince them with your ideas will always remain important.

Here are four science-backed tips which will improve your social life regardless of your social background:

1. Make People Open Up with The CCA Technique

Do you want to always have something to say and never worry about awkward silence? Author and Speech Pathologist, Carol A. Fleming has an interesting technique she uses to break the ice. She calls it, “Comment, Comment, then Ask.” Fleming realized that if you want to ask someone a personal question, it is less creepy and more comfortable to throw in a couple of comments in order to justify your request for information.

For instance, if you are in a convention and want to ask a stranger what brought them here, you can get a good response if you phrase it like this, “They certainly have a lot of booths set up. There were not nearly as many people last year. Have you been to this convention many times before? If you’ve noticed, this request consists of three pieces:

  1. The first comment: They certainly have a lot of booths set up.
  2. The second Comment: There were not nearly as many people last year.
  3. The final question: Have you been to this convention many times before?  

I`ve been using this technique for years, and it’s amazing, especially when I’m with strangers and don’t know what to say. To be good at this, use it on everything you see, from the stuff in your room to what you watch on T.V. Practice for two weeks straight, and I guarantee you’ll amaze yourself.

“To be interesting, be interested.” – Dale Carnegie

2. The Snowball Technique: Do What Athletes Do

The Snowball Technique is very simple. Anytime you have an important meeting make sure you first warm up your social skills by talking, smiling or even saying hi to 10 or 20 people.

Conversations are more like sports, you can’t play well until you warm up. People who have excellent social skills goof around with others the moment they leave home. They greet neighbors, wink at toddlers and have small talk with anyone they can talk to, so they`re already at their peak when it’s time for important meetings, dates or hangouts.

The next time you feel anxious, don’t blame or judge yourself, just remember to warm up and slowly build your confidence by talking to 10 or 15 easy targets. Eventually, your snowball will grow, words will come naturally, you will smile more, and begin to feel more confident.

3. Point Out Similarities

According to studies, people will like you more if you let them know how similar you are to them. Social psychologists Elaine Walster and Ellen Berscheid, believe people make friendships based on their shared interests. In other words, we like to be around those who agree with us because their similarities make us feel less alone and their predictability makes us feel more in control.

Behavioral investigator and bestselling author, Vanessa Van Edwards, shares the same beliefs. She believes that people magnets use every opportunity to highlight the common grounds they share with others.  A magnet will say things like, “Wow, you like Orange Is the New Black? I’m an addict,” or ”You’re gluten-free? Join the club.”

Whereas a people repeller will shut others down with stuff like “You know, I never really got into Orange Is the New Black. I thought it was kinda boring.” Or “You’re one of those gluten-free people? Don’t you think that’s a fad?”

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway

4. Observe and Imitate

The easiest and fastest way to learn social skills is to hang around those whose social skills are better than yours. As studies have found, you will soon pick up some of those skills and your performance will improve without consuming your reservoir of willpower and mental energy.

Entrepreneur and bestselling author, Scott Adams used this technique to build his social skills. He noticed that outgoing kids usually come from outgoing families not because they have specific genes but because they mimic their older peers. If you do the same thing and find yourself some role models, then you will become like them without even knowing.

What are some things you do to help improve your social life? Comment below!

Marwan Jamal is a fitness and health blogger at He’s a great fan of the gym and a healthy diet. He follows the trends in fitness, gym, and healthy life and loves to share his knowledge through useful and informative articles.

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Shane

    Jan 22, 2018 at 9:16 pm

    Great article. Never heard of the CCA technique before. I’m going to have to try it out.

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3 Simple Hacks That Can Recharge Your Willpower and Help You Perform Better at Work



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How many times did you wake up feeling like you could conquer the world? You set ambitious goals for the day, you put on your best attire and walked out the door with a big smile on your face but eventually, life took over. Traffic, emails, work, family, and everything else you have around slowly but steadily started to drain your energy and made you feel exhausted.

You run out of battery, and the only solution that seemed viable was to rely on more caffeine. When that stopped working, all the temptations around you started to look much more appealing, and that sense of drive and commitment you had before slowly faded away. This is you running out of willpower.

Willpower: what is it? Why is it limited?

The American Psychology Association describes willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In the book “The Willpower Instinct”, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, explains how every person’s willpower is limited, and slowly depletes throughout the day. The more “willpower challenges” you face, the quicker your reserve drains. Dr. McGonigal divided the different types of willpower challenges you might encounter in three categories:

  • I will: We face this type of challenge whenever we should do something, but we simply don’t feel like getting it done right now.
  • I won’t: We face this challenge when we try to resist temptation, or we try to keep cool in stressful situations.
  • I want: This is a particular type of challenge where we keep track of our long term goals, dreams, and desires. In this instance, we feel like we should take action right now to come one step closer to the goal. 

It’s easy to recognize it when you face a willpower challenge because you literally “feel it in your body.” Imagine being really hungry and walking in front of a bakery. The sight and the smell of pastries quickly triggers an “I won’t” type of challenge, and it takes a severe amount of effort and energy to walk away.

Every time you manage to win one of those challenges, a little bit of your willpower reserve gets used. The more challenges you face daily, the harder it will be to stay true to your goals.

Can you train or recharge your willpower?

A growing body of research suggests that willpower should be considered a muscle. To strengthen it, you should exercise it regularly, but you should not overwork it. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to “be good” at all times. Instead, we should learn how to relax and recharge our willpower.

The general advice on how to improve willpower involves sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. This broad and general recommendation is often not downright applicable by most, because it consists of changing various daily habits. Luckily, three very effective hacks have been discovered, that have an immediate effect on our willpower and take just a few minutes to apply.

Here are the 3 ways to refill your willpower reserves:

1. Focused breathing

Breathing, when done correctly, can stimulate the release of calming hormones while reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and catecholamines. To make this effective, you should deeply and slowly inhale through the nose for at least five seconds. Fill your belly with air first, then your chest, and when there’s no more space for air, still try to do tiny inhalations through the nose.

You should feel a pulling sensation around your neck and trapezius muscles. Once your lungs are full, try to hold the breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale through the mouth for at least five seconds. If you repeat this process ten to twenty times, you should feel dramatically more relaxed. Use this method several times a day, especially when you’re experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety.

2. Reward yourself when you accomplish a micro goal

According to a recent study, frequent instant rewards can boost motivation, and therefore, willpower. Creating your own reward system can help you to accomplish your to-do list, and also resist temptations. Since every individual has different tastes, you should come up with creative ideas about the small and frequent rewards you will give yourself upon winning any willpower challenge.

You can see this hack in practice in Apps like the popular Duolinguo, where after completing each lesson you get presented with a chance to open a treasure chest. This rewarding system seems to keep the users much more likely to keep learning new lessons.

3. Taking cold showers

Your body has an autonomic response to cold water. Getting into a cold shower is a difficult (but minor) willpower challenge on its own. As I previously mentioned, winning a willpower challenge strengthens your willpower muscle. Having a morning cold shower, on top of having multiple health benefits, will set you up for a positive winning streak of further challenges.

High performance is the sum of many small habits. Successful people don’t have an unlimited reserve of willpower, but they do have a set of daily rituals that made them succeed. These three hacks are some of the most effective techniques to develop willpower, but some of them may not fit every individual. You should try to find the perfect mix of daily practices that best fits your lifestyle and likes, so that you can strengthen your willpower muscle and perform better at work.

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