Life
4 Science-Backed Tips That Will Improve Your Social Life

No one can deny being socially skilled is one of the most crucial traits one can ever have. As Dale Carnegie once noticed, more than 80% of your success is due to your character and people skills. Your ability to lead people and convince them with your ideas will always remain important.
Here are four science-backed tips which will improve your social life regardless of your social background:
1. Make People Open Up with The CCA Technique
Do you want to always have something to say and never worry about awkward silence? Author and Speech Pathologist, Carol A. Fleming has an interesting technique she uses to break the ice. She calls it, “Comment, Comment, then Ask.” Fleming realized that if you want to ask someone a personal question, it is less creepy and more comfortable to throw in a couple of comments in order to justify your request for information.
For instance, if you are in a convention and want to ask a stranger what brought them here, you can get a good response if you phrase it like this, “They certainly have a lot of booths set up. There were not nearly as many people last year. Have you been to this convention many times before? If you’ve noticed, this request consists of three pieces:
- The first comment: They certainly have a lot of booths set up.
- The second Comment: There were not nearly as many people last year.
- The final question: Have you been to this convention many times before?
I`ve been using this technique for years, and it’s amazing, especially when I’m with strangers and don’t know what to say. To be good at this, use it on everything you see, from the stuff in your room to what you watch on T.V. Practice for two weeks straight, and I guarantee you’ll amaze yourself.
“To be interesting, be interested.” – Dale Carnegie
2. The Snowball Technique: Do What Athletes Do
The Snowball Technique is very simple. Anytime you have an important meeting make sure you first warm up your social skills by talking, smiling or even saying hi to 10 or 20 people.
Conversations are more like sports, you can’t play well until you warm up. People who have excellent social skills goof around with others the moment they leave home. They greet neighbors, wink at toddlers and have small talk with anyone they can talk to, so they`re already at their peak when it’s time for important meetings, dates or hangouts.
The next time you feel anxious, don’t blame or judge yourself, just remember to warm up and slowly build your confidence by talking to 10 or 15 easy targets. Eventually, your snowball will grow, words will come naturally, you will smile more, and begin to feel more confident.
3. Point Out Similarities
According to studies, people will like you more if you let them know how similar you are to them. Social psychologists Elaine Walster and Ellen Berscheid, believe people make friendships based on their shared interests. In other words, we like to be around those who agree with us because their similarities make us feel less alone and their predictability makes us feel more in control.
Behavioral investigator and bestselling author, Vanessa Van Edwards, shares the same beliefs. She believes that people magnets use every opportunity to highlight the common grounds they share with others. A magnet will say things like, “Wow, you like Orange Is the New Black? I’m an addict,” or ”You’re gluten-free? Join the club.”
Whereas a people repeller will shut others down with stuff like “You know, I never really got into Orange Is the New Black. I thought it was kinda boring.” Or “You’re one of those gluten-free people? Don’t you think that’s a fad?”
“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway
4. Observe and Imitate
The easiest and fastest way to learn social skills is to hang around those whose social skills are better than yours. As studies have found, you will soon pick up some of those skills and your performance will improve without consuming your reservoir of willpower and mental energy.
Entrepreneur and bestselling author, Scott Adams used this technique to build his social skills. He noticed that outgoing kids usually come from outgoing families not because they have specific genes but because they mimic their older peers. If you do the same thing and find yourself some role models, then you will become like them without even knowing.
What are some things you do to help improve your social life? Comment below!
Life
The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance
Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see? (more…)
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
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