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Why Negative Publicity Is A Blessing In Disguise

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When a load of negative publicity comes your way unexpectedly, it can be difficult to know what to do. In the midst of an online crisis I always recommend doing nothing at all initially. This happened to be a fortnight ago when I posted my very first article on Entrepreneur.com

The article was all about the barriers standing between you and owning a Ferrari. The Ferrari was really only a metaphor for success, and I wasn’t trying to outline how actually to own one. When I submitted the article to the editor for review, they posted the article with a feature image of a Bugatti car instead of a Ferrari.

It’s not uncommon on well-established websites for them to be very careful about what photos they use and where they come from because the risk of getting sued is far greater. After first seeing my article go live, I was disappointed in the photo they used, but it wasn’t the end of the world.

For the next two weeks, all of my social media channels and my personal email were inundated with negative people hurling abuse at me for not knowing the difference between different types of luxury cars. Now sorrrrryyyy that luxury cars are not at the top of my priority list.

I’m more interested in how to change the world than I am about a chunk of metal, with four wheels, which has some fake badge stuck on with glue, that was made by a factory worker in a third world country, who probably earns significantly lower than the average person.

Keep reading because what seems like a sad story turns into something quite unexpected.

Now that the abuse has died down, I thought it would be cool to share with you the 6 reasons why negative publicity like this is a blessing in disguise:

1. You amplify your impact tenfold

Negative publicity amplifies your impact tenfold because our society is programmed to consume bad news. Every TV station you turn on, newspaper you pick up, and any online publication you read will have tons of negative stories present because bad news, and hype sells.

Seeing someone worse off than ourself helps ease the pain of our own life. What the groups of negative nancies don’t understand is that by banding together to bring someone down, they are increasing the number of eyeballs that are paying attention.

People are more likely to hear your message when there is something controversial or messed up with the story. My article with the wrong picture caused exactly this sensation, and it helped me to reach out to more people including some that did resonate with what I was saying.

Some of my newest followers on social media may never have found me if it wasn’t for the beautiful, compounding effect that is negative publicity.

2. True friends come to the rescue

It’s cool how during the toughest of times our true friends come through for us. Many of my closest friends contacted me with words of encouragement and one of them even told me to write this article! My friends supported me whether I was right or wrong and they went on social media to respond to some of the messages.

After this negative experience with Entrepreneur.com, I was thinking to myself that I might not write for them again. My friends told me not to let one bad experience with a publication stop me from pursuing my dream.

These words of encouragement helped me see through the short-term disappointment and get back to why I was writing in the first place. Everyone messes up at some stage or another, and I don’t believe for a second that the editor put up the wrong photo on purpose.

I feel like it was almost divine intervention that my first article could have this happen, allowing it to get so much more attention.

3. You realise all the people that you want nothing to do with

The people that trashed my name on social media did me a favor because they showed me that they are not the sort of person I want to interact with. Anyone who gets joy out of bringing others down is off my Christmas shopping list and doesn’t deserve even five seconds of my time.

On the other hand, anyone who spends their entire life raising consciousness to a higher level through inspiration and a positive message deserves all of our attention. It’s these people that go on to fly rockets into space, build electric cars that are better for the environment, break world records in sport, inspire us through their hobby, and challenge the status quo.

4. You see your true fans shine through

Through the negative publicity, I saw who my real fans were because they didn’t care less about the mistaken photo; all they cared about was the message I was trying to deliver. Instead of being shallow and automatically assuming the worse, they had faith in me and my intentions.

Some of those fans have now become close friends, and that would have never occurred without all of this negative publicity.

“It’s through the struggle that you find your true tribe”

5. You’re reminded you are not perfect and never will be

I’ve got a confession to make: I’m not perfect, and neither are you. We’re going to make mistakes every day and the words I’m typing are probably wrong in some way too. That’s right; I got an email during the week to inform me that my grammar is terrible, and I can’t write to save myself.

In this scenario, I asked the person for evidence, and the examples that she sent to me were so minute they weren’t even worth mentioning. They were the type of grammatical errors that only elite writers who have had a New York Times Best Selling book might pick up.

The quality of your work is always going to be subjective, and people’s standards of what is acceptable will vary greatly. I wish I was amazing at English and could write every sentence perfectly, but the fact of the matter is I can’t.

What am I supposed to do? Never try? No, I’m supposed to just get started and have a crack. Over time my writing will improve, and my message will become more succinct. We’re never going to be all things to all people so let’s abolish this mythical idea and get back to our own personal why.

It’s my why that has got me here in the first place ranting and raving like a madman, and it’s your why that is going to get you out of bed at 4am to pursue your passion and never give up on your dream. Take action and don’t get lost in negative people’s opinions.

In your own life, dish out encouragement and positive criticism rather than verbal diarrhoea. Live your life and don’t become too obsessed with everyone else’s.

6. You become immune

As Julia Gillard, the former Prime Minister of Australia said to me a few months ago, “this isn’t my first Rodeo.” If you have been reading my articles for a while, you would know that this is not the first time this has happened.

Guess what? When you put yourself out there, people are going to hate on you no matter what you are doing. Get used to it and expect criticism! The good news is that the more you have negative publicity, the better you get at dealing with it.

In fact, in my case, I have become immune to it. I’ve stopped caring about what people think, and I’m 100% focused on delivering inspiration through personal development and entrepreneurship. The insults just bounce off me because I know that there is no energy behind them that can assist me in breaking through the barriers of my own struggle every day.

Like a virus, the more times I become infected, the better I get at dealing with the symptoms. After all, success is not about you; it’s about those that you serve.

“When you get out of your own big fat head and how you’re being perceived, and focus on what it is you are trying to say, the effect of the haters disappears” – Tim Denning

***The End Of The Story***

So I promised you all at the start that the story has a happy ending, and it does as always, otherwise it wouldn’t be in the true Addicted2Success style. After the hundreds of complaints I received, the photo got changed by my editor, and the article ended up being shared thousands of times on social media.

It became so popular that it hit number four on Entrepreneur.com’s most popular article list. What a great way to be featured on the site for the very first time. Everything happens for a reason so just go with the flow and know that you’re going to be remarkable no matter what you do.

Short-term disappointment can always be replaced by euphoria and joy if your mind is programmed to focus on what’s good in this world and to drown out all the negativity that we’ve become so addicted to as a society. Live your dream and never give up!

Have you ever experienced a rush of criticism like this before? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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