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3 Reasons Why the Worst Day of Your Life is the Best Day of Your Life

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how the worst day of your life is the best day
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Bad days are an inherent part of life which everybody has and there is nothing we can do about it. But did you ever have a day so bad that the mere thought of it instantly triggers a raft of negative emotions? I know I did. In fact, there was this one event I used to link a mixture of negative emotions to.

On this particular day, I learned that the cancer with which my mother had been diagnosed months before got the better of her. I can still vividly remember the naive thoughts that I had when she was first diagnosed. ‘’There’s no way she’s going to die like that. I know she’ll get through it.’’

Of course, I can also vividly remember how much I cried when I was informed of her death – and when I had to tell my sister about it. This alone would probably have been by itself the most painful experience of my life – but it didn’t end there.

If that wasn’t already enough, I had to face a very challenging problem that changed me forever – the vultures of the family started to creep in and threw me a curve ball by trying to illegitimately get a share of the inheritance which set off a huge fight within the family.

Here I was, doing my best not only to deal with the grief and fill the void that my mother’s passing had created, but also to keep this incident from tearing the family apart. Although I couldn’t see it in the moment, I later realized that this day was in fact a blessing and turned out to be the best day of my life.

Does it mean that thinking about it makes me happy? Hell no. Turning the worst day of your life into the best day of your life isn’t about being happy about what happened – because that would be near to impossible. Instead, it means making it meaningful so that it serves a deeper purpose.

Let’s talk about 3 reasons why the worst day of your life is the best day of your life.

1. It Forces You To Grow

The primary reason why I consider this particular day – which was horrible to experience – to be the best day of my life is because it forced me to grow and evolve. I can’t imagine the kind of person I would have turned out to be if I didn’t go through this pain – I don’t want to, because I’m proud of the progress I’ve made since then.

Regardless of how painful and difficult it was for you to go through this event – it made you a better person in some way. It either made you stronger, more resilient, wiser, or it could even have taught you a powerful lesson that you would have never learned without facing this challenge!

These tough times are blessings in disguise because they have tremendous value embedded within them which you can decide to extract at any moment. Believe me when I say that I wasn’t particularly motivated and eager to find the good in my mother’s passing when it happened, but as it turns out, this day was a blessing. If you hadn’t gone through this painful experience, you wouldn’t be half the person you are today.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

2. It Wakes You Up

People who have gone through some near-death experiences should know this best. Such events usually wake you up and are great reminders of what really matters in life. More often than not, these tough times make us reevaluate our life values and go down a totally different path. What did you realize this particular day that changed the direction of your life? One incident can literally change everything.

CAVEAT: I’m always very cautious when I talk about this because it’s very easy to come up with a disempowering meaning.

For instance, let’s pretend that the worst day of your life was when your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you and broke your heart. A disempowering and limiting belief would be to say that you’ve woken up to the fact that men cannot be trusted.

Once you’ve found a meaning to give the situation, make sure to ask yourself this question in order to determine if the label you’re giving this experience is empowering you or disempowering: ‘’Does this meaning improve my life or limit it?’’

3. It Motivates You

There is one indisputable fact about human beings: we will always do our very best to avoid pain and gain pleasure. This is one of the reasons that explains why so many people have a hard time breaking free from their comfort zone.

When you go through an intensely painful experience, it automatically fuels you to take some kind of action in order to get rid of the pain. It doesn’t mean that you were driven to do the right things, though. Some people get motivated to do drugs, which is one of the worst ways to deal with pain.

Once again, make sure that you use this experience as fuel to get you to take action on things that will serve your life, and not as an excuse to temporarily get rid of the pain or escaping it using dubious ways.

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

In my case, pain drove me to work harder on my business to be able to change my toxic environment which I successfully did. If I hadn’t gone through this much pain, I’d probably have stayed in my toxic yet pleasurable comfort zone.

The worst times of your life have the power to create a better life for yourself if you’re willing to learn from it. Believe me when I say that I wasn’t motivated to turn this horrible day into the best day of my life when this happened. But through time and thinking I was able to find a deeper meaning and enhance my life because of it.

Lorenzo Ferrara is a successful online entrepreneur and the founder of Furudo, a personal development website. His passion is to grow as a person and impact people in a positive way by helping them get rid of limiting beliefs and negative emotions.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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