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5 Ways to Exude Confidence Everywhere You Go

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Whether you’ve moved to a new city, are looking for a job, want to start dating or simply make friends, networking will prove to be valuable. The challenge is networking in a way that goes beyond introductions and an exchange of business cards that get lost at the bottom of your desk. Especially if you lack confidence, leaving your house to go meet complete strangers can be incredibly challenging. Still, even if you’re socially awkward and an introvert, you can exude confidence and ace your networking goals.

I know this because I have learned to become extrovert for the sake of business networking. Naturally, at any given moment I’d prefer to be in bed, reading, or binge watching Netflix original series, but in order to not be a total shut-in in a city where I’ve lived for less than a year, I actually have to get out and talk to people.

This requires a heap load of motivation, focusing on my objective and reminding myself the entire Lyft ride there that I need to build relationships. Over the years, I’ve gotten better, and although it’s a mental exercise to get myself to an event, once I arrive, I ace it.

Here’s 5 ways you can exude confidence at any networking event you go to:

1. Map out your networking event plan

Anxiety has a way of making you a no-show although you RSVP’d on Eventbrite two weeks ago. Before registering for events, think through why you need to be there, what you want to get out of the event, who you want to meet and how you can turn it into an opportunity to advance a personal goal.

It helps to look up organizers, speakers, sponsors and attendees if that information is available. Meetup.com shares all of that information publicly so you can start there for finding events that work for you. Plan to leave well in advance so that you don’t add additional stress by running late, having to look for parking or worrying about getting lost.

2. Present your best self

Good personal grooming makes you feel good about yourself. Even if you’re not red carpet ready, clean clothes, styled hair, and a fresh face can make you feel appealing. It also has the added benefit of shifting how people perceive you. Well in advance, work on skin care to reduce blemishes that may make you self-conscious when speaking to people.

Choose an outfit you feel comfortable in and iron your clothes so you appear polished and don’t have to fuss with things that are ill-fitting or that make you stand out. Care for your hygiene so that you don’t repel people with bad breath or body odor. It seems obvious, but taking extra effort in this regard can help you feel a lot better about stepping out into the public and meeting people.

“If you’re presenting yourself with confidence, you can pull off pretty much anything.” – Katy Perry

3. Make introductions early on

When you first enter into the room, chances are, people look up and notice. Instead of heading straight to the refreshment table, let the energy you feel when you enter the room propel you through a round of introductions. You can start with a general wave, , scan the room, make eye contact, then walk up to a person or group and say, “Hi, my name is.” The worst part is then over and with the courage you’ve gained from meeting the first few people, move on to the next few people and begin conversations.

4. Don’t overthink the conversation

Following the introduction, don’t go into a prepared speech, simply allow the conversation to flow by sharing why you’re there, asking the other person if this is their first time attending, and even pointing out cool things you learned about the organizers or speakers when researching the event. It’s also recommended to share a story, since these are memorable and impact one’s influence. Another strategy is to listen well.

In How To Win Friends And Influence People, Dale Carnegie shares a story of how active listening led to a person believing Carnegie was an expert conversationalist. The conversation usually is what people consider the hard part, but people don’t expect perfection and if you find some act weird, take comfort in knowing that you may not see them ever again. Basically, take it easy.

“Don’t think, just do.” – Horace

5. Practice mindfulness to relax

If you’re nervous, you will tend to tense up making you look uncomfortable and feel stressed out. Sometimes while holding a conversation, the other person will be long winded and so looking interested can prove challenging. In each of these instances, a helpful tactic is to practice mindfulness. You can begin to focus on your breathing, inhaling and exhaling slowly, so you can relax.

You can focus on their eyes and count how many times they say a particular word to distract from any negative feelings and remain engaged. Keep your feet firmly planted on the floor and allow yourself to be present, fully noticing all your senses. Mindfulness is a practice so do it regularly in order to employ it in high-anxiety moments like networking.

Networking doesn’t have to be earth-shattering, it can be an opportunity to stretch yourself and practice coming out of your shell. By practicing these tips, you can present yourself confidently and make acquaintance with cool new people.

What are some things you do to help at a networking event? Comment below!

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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