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10 Powerful Ways to Stop Feeling Overworked

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10 Powerful Ways to Stop Feeling Overworked

In this digital era, everyone feels overworked. We all are flooded with lots of information. With more information comes more ideas. With more ideas, there is an urge to implement all these ideas.

By spreading the wings in all directions, we are not able to concentrate on our main work. As a result, we are trapped under the illusion of overwork.

There are two solid reasons for calling your overwork an “illusion

  • You are the source of all your thoughts. You have the power to create a heaven or hell for yourself.
  • In order to stay away from self-guilt, we start plotting overburden stories. By focusing on these stories, we create a cursing zone in which we blame the external conditions only.
If you are feeling overworked, these 10 tips will help you to have a productive lifestyle:

 

1. Overburden decreases your productivity

Your success is not determined by the “hours of your hard work”. Your success is determined by the “productive hours of your hard work”.  More time on your tasks is not equivalent to more output.

Recharge your body by relaxing. Remember one thing: You are just a human being, not a machine. In order to bring out the creative elements, your body needs some proper rest.

“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.” – Lao Tzu

2. Know your initial point

How does it feel by looking at the pile of folders or emails waiting for you? You feel exhausted by looking at them only. Before starting the work, you frame an impossible image in your mind.

Only one question haunts you: From where to start from? While writing this post also, I devoted some time for writing the introduction. It gave me the lead to discussing different sub-heading with ease. Before starting anything, devote some quality time on your initial point for gaining focus and clarity.

 

3. Stop procrastining your small targets

When you are handed small targets, you simply twist your face (with an ease on your face) with a simple thought: Tomorrow, I will handle this small baby. And, the tomorrow never comes.

When the deadline comes near, all these small tasks pile up together to become a big beast. Now, you twist your face (with stress on your face) with a pessimistic thought: If I am overburdened by small things, how will I cope up with big tasks. Before taking a splash in the negative pool, finish your work on time without any delays.

 

4. Know your working mojo

Are you a morning or a nocturnal person? Do you feel refreshed after starting a day by meditating or by taking meditative breaks between your works? You have to recognize your magic charm for gaining your rhythm.

By understanding your fertile zones, plant the seeds of success by watering your hard work in the proper manner. In this zone, you suck all the creative juices within to give your best results. Working Mojo differs from person to person. So, you don’t need to copy anyone.

 

5. Plan your work by focusing on a single goal

Clear off all the distractions to work on your single goal. Don’t mess up the whole situation by putting your legs in different directions. At the end of the day, you are not going to find any meaning from your hard work.

A small magnifying glass is capable of burning a sheet of paper. It has the ability to “focus” the sun’s rays at one point. In a similar manner, focus all your energies on a single goal to burn out all negativity from your life.

“This one step – choosing a goal and sticking to it – changes everything.” – Scott Reed

6. Don’t bombard yourself by the cloud of over-thinking

By over-analyzing, you dig a grave for yourself. Let me explain, why? Instead of adding more bricks of optimism, you form a crack in the previously settled bricks by putting so much weight on the foundation of your thoughts.

Due to the weak foundation, your work demolishes in front of your own eyes. Before starting anything, you create a cloud of doubts. So, begin your work with a clear picture in mind.

 

7. Stop complaining and start accepting

I was not able to complete the task, due to…. (there are many reasons). Does it sound familiar? It is very easy to pass on the blame on other’s shoulders. You always have some reason to coat your shortcomings.

Accept your fault and start working on your weak points. There is no use of gaining any temporary happiness. In the long run, you can’t escape by simply playing the blame game. Have the guts to take the responsibility for your actions.

 

8. Make a proper schedule

Prioritize your work by allocating a different amount of time for every task. Firstly, finish off the most difficult task. You will feel relaxed after the completion.

Then, you can focus on other important tasks. Do not pick any random stuff. Plan daily, weekly and, monthly strategies. Analyze each strategy at the end of the day, week, and the month. Ask one thing: How much time will I take to complete this task? Then, set realistic deadlines.

 

9. Indulge in “stress-free” time

While you are surrounded with external work, spare some time for yourself. When you are not getting a way out, take a deep breath to calm down. This time is not restricted to you only.

It represents the wonderful interaction with everyone to make you forget about the busyness of life. So, interact with your family members. Play with your kids or indulge in your hobbies. Do not pollute this time with your official work.

 

10. Don’t say yes to everything

You must have heard this proverb: All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. Let us design this proverb to understand the importance of ‘no’. All ‘yeses’ and no ‘noes’ make you a dull individual. Don’t add more miseries by agreeing on every point.

You must keep your point forward and eliminate the excessive junk from your schedule. If you are finding it hard to say ‘no’ to your office colleague or friend immediately, say you’ll come back with an answer later.

 

Thank you for reading my article! I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below!

Yatin Khulbe is a content writer who enjoys the company of small kids. He is the founder of the personal development blog-Buddytation: Connect With Your Inner Buddy. He helps everybuddy to realize their true dreams by sharing ideas on personal growth, motivation and happiness. Join him to build a buddysphere of positive thoughts.

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Jerrold Benford

    Jun 2, 2016 at 1:08 am

    I loved this article! Very informative and necessary for people like myself! Is it ok to repost on my website?

  2. viswa

    Jul 27, 2015 at 9:08 am

    yeah your points are very clear as i could relate it to my present. work scenario.Yeah I liked the wording All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. This is true so guys make us feel irritated by just doing there without a smile.. I know they are busy but some point of time its get irritated.

  3. Muyiwa Osibolu

    Jul 12, 2015 at 10:50 pm

    Thank you so much for this motivating piece. You just helped me figure out how to get a good sense of direction

    • Yatin Khulbe

      Jul 18, 2015 at 12:26 am

      Hi Muyiwa
      I am glad you can connect with the article. Wishing you all the best for your future journey

  4. Chris Delaney

    Jul 12, 2015 at 9:07 am

    Some good points here. Learning to say no (point 10) is a key strategy to stop being overworked. You can tell the person that you will think about the task and give them answer later.

    If it’s manager who can’t wait for an answer, question them; I have x to do today, what would you like me to prioritise x or y?

    When they answer explain how why wouldn’t be completed until ‘date’

    Many people ask you to do task without realising what your workload is

    • Yatin Khulbe

      Jul 13, 2015 at 1:27 pm

      Ya, Chris. Saying no is really important. If we don’t hurt the sentiments, it is always better to allocate the task for some other day. There is no use to feed the body with lots of stress by stuffing everything at one time only. I have seen many people who don’t bother about other’s workload.

  5. Heitem Ak

    Jul 11, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    You’re right Yatin, over-thinking can be a real killer!

    We plan, begin moving toward our goals, then start to over-think and destroy our faith.

    Keep them coming,

    Heitem Ak

    • Yatin Khulbe

      Jul 12, 2015 at 1:02 am

      Thanks Heitem for appreciating the article. Ya, over-thinking can be a real killer. It is always better to calm down our senses and look things in a calm manner.

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Life

Lacking Self-Discipline? Do This One Thing Everyday to Change Your Life

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What’s holding you back? This is the question that I asked myself after repeatedly falling short of my goals. In my mind, I had these crazy hopes and aspirations, but in reality, there was a gap between my intentions and my actions. Having read dozens of personal development and business books, I already had the knowledge. I already knew what I needed to do. The problem? A lack of follow through.

A couple years back, I had difficulty crawling out of bed in the morning. I was always tired and could barely muster out the energy to stay awake, let alone go to the gym, foster new relationships, or build my business. I was caught in a spiral of downward momentum, breaking out of which required a massive amount of willpower. The root cause of my problems, I came to realize, was a lack of self-discipline.

I define self-discipline as the ability to do what needs to get done regardless of whether you feel like it or not. I believe that self-discipline is the one thing that separates everything you are from everything you’re capable of being. In this article, I’ll reveal the #1 habit I’ve developed to skyrocket my self-discipline and rapidly elevate my mood, energy levels, and focus in the process.

The Secret To Sending Your Self-Discipline Through The Roof

Picture this: You finally decide to start waking up early and set an alarm for 5am the next day. The next morning you groggily open your eyes to the sound of your alarm buzzing, and a part of you whispers to hit the snooze. Your decision in that moment, on whether to hit the snooze or not, is what makes all the difference.

When you get out of bed at 5am, even though you don’t feel like it, you have effectively overcome your emotions and shown your brain who’s in charge. You have built momentum towards doing the right thing over the easy thing.

In every moment you have a choice. A choice to step forward into growth or back into comfort. The secret to developing warrior-like self-discipline is consistently making the decisions that move you forward into growth. And the #1 habit I’ve developed to build this muscle is starting my days with a cold shower.

“Self-discipline is the number one delineating factor between the rich, the middle class, and the poor.” – Robert Kiyosaki

Why I Take Cold Showers Everyday (And Maybe You Should To)

Cold showers have been a regular part of my daily routine for a couple of years now and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: The days that I start with a cold shower always go more productive than the days that I don’t.

Taking cold showers provides an opportunity to exercise your willpower in overcoming the little voice in your head that doesn’t want to do it. This is the same voice that tries to talk you into  skipping your workouts, hitting the snooze, and reaching for that ice cream when you’re trying to avoid sugar.

Even after years of taking cold showers, I hear this little voice. But turning the knob to “C,” in spite of this voice, has been a great way to overcome my lower self and build momentum towards taking right action.

What’s more is that cold showers provide an incredible boost in energy and mood. So much so that cold showers are currently being studied as a possible measure against depression. What are the mechanisms behind this? Well, cold water exposure stimulates your body’s fight-or-flight response to which your sympathetic nervous system responds by rapidly elevating norepinephrine production.

Norepinephrine is a hormone that functions as a neurotransmitter to enhance focus, mood, and attention. In this study, 1-hour of cold water exposure increased norepinephrine production in subjects by as much as 530%.

“With self-discipline most anything is possible.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Another reason to take cold showers is for the immune system benefits. As a high achiever, I’m sure you’ve found it frustrating when you’re unable to function optimally due to illness. We’ve all been there. How much better would it be if you could radically decrease your chances of getting sick by simply taking a cold shower everyday? Because in this study, subjects that took cold showers had a 29% reduced likelihood of illness from work compared to the subjects that did not take cold showers.

All-in-all, taking cold showers has been a game changer not only in strengthening my mental resolve but in helping my body function more optimally as well. I don’t remember the last time I was sick and I no longer need an espresso to get my day going.

With access to a smartphone, you have access to more information and more computing power than the president of the United States had a mere twenty years ago. In the age of information, ignorance is a choice. Everything you could ever need to know or learn about success is literally at your fingertips.

As such, specialized knowledge is no longer a barrier towards achieving your goals. The only missing link between where you are and where you want to be is the ability to do the things you already know you should be doing.

I’ve come to believe that self-discipline is the only difference between success and failure. Starting your days with a cold shower is a cheap, proven, and effective method to exercise your willpower and build momentum towards becoming the person you were meant to be.

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Life

Here Is Everything You Need to Know About Your Comfort Zone

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Although, a comfort zone can be defined as a state of mind in which people are at ease, in control of their environment and experiencing low level of anxiety and stress, this does not actually sum up the full meaning of a comfort zone. This is because different people have different anxiety and stress levels and the anxiety level of one man or woman might be above or below that of another. Therefore, comfort zones vary from person to person.

Therefore, the best way I can define a comfort zone would be a state of mind where a person’s anxiety and vulnerability are minimized to manageable levels. It is that area of your life in which you feel familiar with and in control of.

For example, some people love to go to work every morning and are used to the routine of going to work daily such that their work place becomes their comfort zone and leaving this comfort zone to become a freelancer or start a business can be every challenging for them. Of course, for others, a comfort zone could be the time they take their meals or that time after work when they relax in front of their television or with social media after a hectic day at work. Of course, comfort zones are not static because they change based on the areas of your life you feel most comfortable with.

When are you out of your comfort zone? What is outside your comfort zone? When you begin to feel vulnerable, anxious, stressed, uncomfortable about doing something, then you’re stepping out of your comfort zone or you’re faced with the threat of stepping outside your comfort zone. Therefore, what is outside your comfort zone is something that scares or threatens you, and, not necessarily with bodily harm.

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing grows there.”

The Psychological States

According to White Alasdair, there are three psychological states: the comfort zone, optimal performance zone and the danger zone. Where the comfort zone is the stress-free zone which you’re familiar with. The optimal performance zone is the zone just outside your comfort zone where your performance is enhanced by some amount of stress. The danger zone, which is beyond the optimal performance zone, is where you feel great anxiety and your performance is below the performance you can attain in your comfort zone.

However, the problem is making distinctions between these psychological states and knowing when and how far you are willing to leave your comfort zone and when to stay in its confines.

Why do you need to leave your comfort zone? See the 4 reason below:

1. Stunted Growth

If you insist on staying in your comfort zone, you will probably never grow to be more than you are. That means you will always be stuck, never moving forward and never growing. Most people who become addicted to their comfort zones usually end up unable to achieve their goals because they’re somewhat obsessed with doing things the same way they’ve always done them even when it’s not producing results. As a result, you can never really explore what you’re capable of doing and what you can accomplish if you stick to your comfort zone

2. To find your Passion

Not moving out of your comfort zone makes it harder for you to discover your passion because no passion can ever be found in the shadows of your comfort zone, it can only be found by stepping away from your comfort zone.

3. To make sure you don’t settle for less

Even though you’ve not found that thing that makes your heart beat very fast (like love or passion), your comfort zone might push you to settle for less than what you could have if you just stepped out of it.

4. So you don’t get left behind

When you stay in your comfort zone, you will be left behind. Colleagues will leave you behind and people who were previously behind you in terms of life or career progress would meet up with you and leave you behind as well.

Why Your Comfort Zone is Good Sometimes

Although, many times, people focus more on the cons of not leaving your comfort zones, people sometimes forget that it might not be the best idea for you to move out of your comfort zone.

Here are some reasons why you might need to stay in your comfort zone:

1. You are not prepared to leave it yet

Sometimes, you might need to stay in your comfort zone a little while because you’re not yet prepared to step out of it and you may face dire consequences. So, you might need to make sure that you’re actually prepared to leave your comfort zone before you leave it.

2. Are you going too far away from your comfort zone?

It is true that without leaving our comfort zones, we might never know what we are capable of and what we can do. However, that does not mean that you should take giant leaps away from your comfort zone. Start with baby steps and move to strides as you leave your comfort zone.

3. Assess yourself

It is very important for you to assess yourself before leaving your comfort zone to see if it is the best choice for you to leave your comfort zone or If what is bothering you is just fear to leave it.

How to Leave or Expand Your Comfort Zone

First of all, you have to understand how the varying influences (Like parents, peers, siblings, etc.) in your life have contributed to shaping and conditioning your comfort zone. You have to overcome these influences and the conditions that have shaped the boundaries of your comfort zone. You will also have to change your habits, routines and behaviors that relate to your comfort zone and its boundaries.

But you can’t just do these overnight, you have to slowly push yourself out of your comfort zone and expand it. Here are few ways you can leave or expand your comfort zone:

  • Expose yourself to new environments that are just outside your comfort zone
  • Don’t overthink your decisions
  • Try new and different things like going somewhere new to eat, going to a different park to read, etc.
  • Don’t rely on your limited point of view, try to see things the way others do.
  • Do volunteer work
  • Challenge yourself from time to time

“To move to a new level in your life, you must break through your comfort zone and do things that are not comfortable.” – T. Harv Eker

Conclusion

Although your comfort zone might be the most comfortable part of your life, it isn’t wise to stay locked in it as it will not allow you to be who you are capable of being. And, most certainly, your big dreams and goals won’t come to pass so you need to work for them, and you can’t do that from your comfort zone.

Do you think there are sometimes people should stay in their comfort zone or should people always push at the boundaries of their comfort zone relentlessly? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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8 Unconventional Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

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Confident people seem to have it all. They are admired by others and generally do well at everything they try. Self-confidence plays an important role in our success, both in business and life. People that are self-confident are usually risk-takers, they believe in their abilities and aren’t afraid to fail because they know they can get past any obstacles.

But for those that struggle to believe in themselves, building up confidence can be a daunting task. However, there are ways to build confidence that aren’t difficult to implement.

Here are 8 ways you can boost your confidence:

1. Trust your gut

How many times have you had an impulse that you didn’t act on? Whether in a business or personal setting, if you struggle with low confidence it’s easy to walk away from situations where you have to put yourself in the spotlight. When you find yourself in a situation like this, give yourself a countdown to action. Three, two, one, go! If you take action immediately you don’t risk talking yourself out of something that might be a great idea. When inspiration strikes take it as a sign, trust your gut instinct, and act.

2. Strike a power pose

In a 2012 TED talk by Harvard Business School social psychologist Amy Cuddy, the concept of the “Power Pose” (think Superman with hands on hips, chin up, chest out, feet apart and firmly planted) was introduced as a way to increase confidence and lower stress. By adopting expansive postures and taking up more space, her research claims that cortisol will decrease and testosterone will increase causing a boost in personal performance. If you find yourself feeling nervous about a meeting or presentation, find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted and hold a power pose for two minutes.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

3. Only share with your supporters

When we’re excited about a new idea or venture, we want to tell our friends and family. Often we are seeking encouragement, support, or even validation from the people closest to us. Many times, those people want to protect us from failure and disappointment and in doing so, they manage to squash our dreams and cause our confidence to plummet. If you must confide in someone, be careful who you share your goals or dreams with. Protect your confidence by sharing your deepest desires with only those people that support you unequivocally.

4. Daydream your way to success

Studies have shown that we have a better chance at success if we spend time visualizing the results we want to achieve. Athletes have long used the process of visualization to boost their confidence and in turn, enhance their performance.

In fact, one study from the Cleveland Clinic Foundation, revealed that subjects who visualized their strength increasing for 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week for a total of 12 weeks, managed to do so without ever lifting a weight.

Top performers from the fields of golf, hockey, boxing, and even Olympians believe in the power of the mind to enhance their performance. Spend a few minutes every day in quiet contemplation seeing the outcomes you want in your life as if they have already become reality and you may see your confidence rise.

5. Failure is not bad

If we have issues with confidence often we will simply not act rather than risk failure. Keep in mind that many times quantity is more important than quality. The old saying practice makes perfect really does make sense. If we try we may indeed fail but if we then take that knowledge and try again, while making improvements and tweaking the process, we will hit on some winners. To build self-confidence, begin to redefine your definition of success, start to see your failures as opportunities to practice. Eventually your practice will make perfect.

6. Jump off the comparison train

These days people are obsessed with checking their social media accounts. In fact, a recent New York Post article, states that people check their phones over 80 times a day. With all this time spent on social it’s almost impossible not to compare yourself to others. No one posts a bad selfie, a video of their kid throwing a tantrum, or a bland image of their dinner of leftovers.

We are constantly barraged with beautiful people in beautiful places doing amazing things. It’s easy to compare our whole life to the staged, filtered, sliver of other people’s lives that is showcased on social. Jump off that comparison train with a social media detox and feel your confidence start to return.

“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” – Samuel Johnson

7. Loosen your grip

Going within can be a big confidence booster and people who practice meditation have reported an increase in their feelings of well-being, confidence, and self-worth. One of the reasons for this is that meditation allows us the opportunity to release the tight grip we have on attachment. We begin to allow our thoughts to float in and float out without judgement. This is particularly helpful when we are flooded with negative thoughts. By spending time developing a meditation practice we will learn to objectively observe our negative thoughts rather than allow them to take root and bring us down.

8. Know your stuff

You’ve heard the saying “knowledge is power” well I say knowledge is confidence. When we are in a situation and we feel comfortable that we know what we’re talking about, we feel confident. Confident in ourselves and confident in our abilities. Have you ever been in a situation where you knew all the answers and you still felt worried? No!

Do your best to know your stuff and confidence will be there for you. If you are prepping for a business event, make sure you feel comfortable speaking on your topic. The same goes for a social situation, if your confidence wanes when you can’t think of something to say, be sure you brush up on some recent news or have a few interesting stories to share. You will be calm and ready to go if you feel confident in your abilities.

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5 Characteristics That We Can Learn From Our Children for a Happier, Fuller Life

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Remember the last time an infant gazed innocently into your eyes and smiled? Those wide, uncritical eyes have the power to elicit a bliss that eludes us most of the time. For an instant, life feels beautiful and worth living. As we grow older, the worries and concerns brought forth by life prevent us from enjoying our natural state of happiness.

Learning to maintain that natural state of happiness by emulating a child should not be a euphoria. As Henry James puts it in “Live all you can; it’s a mistake not to. It doesn’t so much matter what you do in particular so long as you have your life. If you haven’t had that what have you had?”

Following, are the five basic childlike characteristics that we can learn from our children for a happier, fuller life:

1. They are amazingly inquisitive

If you have ever been in the company of a child, you are used for their constant questioning. Asking questions is a deeply ingrained biological blueprint allowing a child to make sense of the world around them. A study conducted by Ranganath, a psychologist at the University of California, found that curiosity can increase our memory.

Curiosity is directly associated with the hippocampus, a small organ located in the temporal lobe responsible for information processing and long-term memory. Cultivating childlike curiosity can decrease internal inconsistencies and conflicts with others. An inquisitive mind instead of a lockstep mind will lead to human beings embracing diversity which will, in return lead to a happier life.

“Play is the highest of form of research.” – Albert Einstein

2. They are playful

Being playful has a host of benefits that most of us are simply not aware of. The greatest thinkers of our time have embraced being playful as being one of the main tenets of creativity and inspiration. David Keller, founder and chairman of IDEO admits that the time he spent playing, making and breaking things were the most rewarding.

The American psychologist Abraham Maslow is perhaps the greatest proponents of playfulness. Playfulness has been found to increase focus, humility, courage and more importantly flexibility.

Playful people have a positive life outlook that give them more resilience to face the adversities of life. They are fully-functioning beings with low degrees of self-conflict and with more maturity. Remember the last time you were playful? How did you feel? Wouldn’t you want to experience to that happy state again?

3. They are always fully present

Have you ever noticed a child performing a task? Regardless of how mundane the task is, they get so caught up, that time seems to stand still. They are fully present. Being fully present means having your focus, your attention, your thoughts and feelings all fixed on the task at hand.

Mindfulness originated 2000 years ago exemplifying the importance of being fully present. Since its inception, it has helped countless people fight anxiety and stress and increase focus among others.

Life is so full of worries and regrets that compete for our attention, that “being fully present” represents an unattainable goal. Just like a child, being fully present can make us better listeners, build a tougher immune system and have more happiness. From today you have the duty to bring your undivided attention to whatever task at hand. This is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and those around us.

4. They are not afraid of judgment

I have had the opportunity to teach public speaking and English to preschoolers. One of my biggest realizations is that my preschool kids improve faster than their older counterparts. Why? As a child grows older, they become self-conscious, and consequently become less willing to practice.

This is analogous to adults; the plurality of the expectations placed upon us makes us become less expressive, we don’t take risks, get complacent and laziness starts to set in. Like a child, we have the right not to let others’ perception or self-imposed limitations prevents us from failing, learning and improving.

Learn to fail and fail to learn as if there was no tomorrow. What have you been putting off because of fear of failure? A quick challenge for you. Think of a task you’ve been putting off. Now, use a fresh, naïve, childlike approach, act as if fear of being judged was not on the table, how would the situation change? Chances are a change of perspective was all you needed to breakthrough.

“Our children can be our greatest teachers if we are humble enough to receive their lessons.” – Bryan McGill

5. They forgive and forget

Ever see a child fret after being reprimanded? How long did it take them to get back to their natural, happy state? Children have the amazing capacity to regain their initial level of joy almost immediately after being punished. They hold no grudge, they forgive and forget.

As is with any skill, this is a skill we can learn with practice. While it may be reasonable to be angry when offended, sometimes we hold to the anger more than necessary. We talk about it, we think about it, we even lose sleep over it. Unknowingly the problem becomes a priority.

We forget that people don’t do us wrong because of who we are but because of who they are. The best we can do is to let it go…forgive and forget. We cannot afford to carry a grudge around, as it will do more harm than good. Think of someone you need to forgive, call them right now and forgive and see how you feel.

I am confident the same reason that drew you to this article will also motivate you to take action. The principles may sound simple, but they are not easy. The commitment to a fuller, happier life for yourself and those around you is well worth the cost of trying. May you enjoy a happy, fulfilling life that I believe is yours by right.

What is something valuable that you have learned from children? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Lacking Self-Discipline? Do This One Thing Everyday to Change Your Life

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self discipline
Image Credit: Unsplash

What’s holding you back? This is the question that I asked myself after repeatedly falling short of my goals. In my mind, I had these crazy hopes and aspirations, but in reality, there was a gap between my intentions and my actions. Having read dozens of personal development and business books, I already had the knowledge. I already knew what I needed to do. The problem? A lack of follow through. (more…)

Mo Saleem is an independent men’s health researcher and publisher of TripleYourT.com. Having overcome the symptoms of depression, chronic fatigue, and a lack of drive, his mission is to empower men with the strategies and tactics to live with more energy, purpose, and power. Use the FREE T-Analysis Tool to figure out if your testosterone level is where it should be.

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Jerrold Benford

    Jun 2, 2016 at 1:08 am

    I loved this article! Very informative and necessary for people like myself! Is it ok to repost on my website?

  2. viswa

    Jul 27, 2015 at 9:08 am

    yeah your points are very clear as i could relate it to my present. work scenario.Yeah I liked the wording All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. This is true so guys make us feel irritated by just doing there without a smile.. I know they are busy but some point of time its get irritated.

  3. Muyiwa Osibolu

    Jul 12, 2015 at 10:50 pm

    Thank you so much for this motivating piece. You just helped me figure out how to get a good sense of direction

    • Yatin Khulbe

      Jul 18, 2015 at 12:26 am

      Hi Muyiwa
      I am glad you can connect with the article. Wishing you all the best for your future journey

  4. Chris Delaney

    Jul 12, 2015 at 9:07 am

    Some good points here. Learning to say no (point 10) is a key strategy to stop being overworked. You can tell the person that you will think about the task and give them answer later.

    If it’s manager who can’t wait for an answer, question them; I have x to do today, what would you like me to prioritise x or y?

    When they answer explain how why wouldn’t be completed until ‘date’

    Many people ask you to do task without realising what your workload is

    • Yatin Khulbe

      Jul 13, 2015 at 1:27 pm

      Ya, Chris. Saying no is really important. If we don’t hurt the sentiments, it is always better to allocate the task for some other day. There is no use to feed the body with lots of stress by stuffing everything at one time only. I have seen many people who don’t bother about other’s workload.

  5. Heitem Ak

    Jul 11, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    You’re right Yatin, over-thinking can be a real killer!

    We plan, begin moving toward our goals, then start to over-think and destroy our faith.

    Keep them coming,

    Heitem Ak

    • Yatin Khulbe

      Jul 12, 2015 at 1:02 am

      Thanks Heitem for appreciating the article. Ya, over-thinking can be a real killer. It is always better to calm down our senses and look things in a calm manner.

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Life

Lacking Self-Discipline? Do This One Thing Everyday to Change Your Life

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What’s holding you back? This is the question that I asked myself after repeatedly falling short of my goals. In my mind, I had these crazy hopes and aspirations, but in reality, there was a gap between my intentions and my actions. Having read dozens of personal development and business books, I already had the knowledge. I already knew what I needed to do. The problem? A lack of follow through.

A couple years back, I had difficulty crawling out of bed in the morning. I was always tired and could barely muster out the energy to stay awake, let alone go to the gym, foster new relationships, or build my business. I was caught in a spiral of downward momentum, breaking out of which required a massive amount of willpower. The root cause of my problems, I came to realize, was a lack of self-discipline.

I define self-discipline as the ability to do what needs to get done regardless of whether you feel like it or not. I believe that self-discipline is the one thing that separates everything you are from everything you’re capable of being. In this article, I’ll reveal the #1 habit I’ve developed to skyrocket my self-discipline and rapidly elevate my mood, energy levels, and focus in the process.

The Secret To Sending Your Self-Discipline Through The Roof

Picture this: You finally decide to start waking up early and set an alarm for 5am the next day. The next morning you groggily open your eyes to the sound of your alarm buzzing, and a part of you whispers to hit the snooze. Your decision in that moment, on whether to hit the snooze or not, is what makes all the difference.

When you get out of bed at 5am, even though you don’t feel like it, you have effectively overcome your emotions and shown your brain who’s in charge. You have built momentum towards doing the right thing over the easy thing.

In every moment you have a choice. A choice to step forward into growth or back into comfort. The secret to developing warrior-like self-discipline is consistently making the decisions that move you forward into growth. And the #1 habit I’ve developed to build this muscle is starting my days with a cold shower.

“Self-discipline is the number one delineating factor between the rich, the middle class, and the poor.” – Robert Kiyosaki

Why I Take Cold Showers Everyday (And Maybe You Should To)

Cold showers have been a regular part of my daily routine for a couple of years now and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: The days that I start with a cold shower always go more productive than the days that I don’t.

Taking cold showers provides an opportunity to exercise your willpower in overcoming the little voice in your head that doesn’t want to do it. This is the same voice that tries to talk you into  skipping your workouts, hitting the snooze, and reaching for that ice cream when you’re trying to avoid sugar.

Even after years of taking cold showers, I hear this little voice. But turning the knob to “C,” in spite of this voice, has been a great way to overcome my lower self and build momentum towards taking right action.

What’s more is that cold showers provide an incredible boost in energy and mood. So much so that cold showers are currently being studied as a possible measure against depression. What are the mechanisms behind this? Well, cold water exposure stimulates your body’s fight-or-flight response to which your sympathetic nervous system responds by rapidly elevating norepinephrine production.

Norepinephrine is a hormone that functions as a neurotransmitter to enhance focus, mood, and attention. In this study, 1-hour of cold water exposure increased norepinephrine production in subjects by as much as 530%.

“With self-discipline most anything is possible.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Another reason to take cold showers is for the immune system benefits. As a high achiever, I’m sure you’ve found it frustrating when you’re unable to function optimally due to illness. We’ve all been there. How much better would it be if you could radically decrease your chances of getting sick by simply taking a cold shower everyday? Because in this study, subjects that took cold showers had a 29% reduced likelihood of illness from work compared to the subjects that did not take cold showers.

All-in-all, taking cold showers has been a game changer not only in strengthening my mental resolve but in helping my body function more optimally as well. I don’t remember the last time I was sick and I no longer need an espresso to get my day going.

With access to a smartphone, you have access to more information and more computing power than the president of the United States had a mere twenty years ago. In the age of information, ignorance is a choice. Everything you could ever need to know or learn about success is literally at your fingertips.

As such, specialized knowledge is no longer a barrier towards achieving your goals. The only missing link between where you are and where you want to be is the ability to do the things you already know you should be doing.

I’ve come to believe that self-discipline is the only difference between success and failure. Starting your days with a cold shower is a cheap, proven, and effective method to exercise your willpower and build momentum towards becoming the person you were meant to be.

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Life

Here Is Everything You Need to Know About Your Comfort Zone

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Although, a comfort zone can be defined as a state of mind in which people are at ease, in control of their environment and experiencing low level of anxiety and stress, this does not actually sum up the full meaning of a comfort zone. This is because different people have different anxiety and stress levels and the anxiety level of one man or woman might be above or below that of another. Therefore, comfort zones vary from person to person.

Therefore, the best way I can define a comfort zone would be a state of mind where a person’s anxiety and vulnerability are minimized to manageable levels. It is that area of your life in which you feel familiar with and in control of.

For example, some people love to go to work every morning and are used to the routine of going to work daily such that their work place becomes their comfort zone and leaving this comfort zone to become a freelancer or start a business can be every challenging for them. Of course, for others, a comfort zone could be the time they take their meals or that time after work when they relax in front of their television or with social media after a hectic day at work. Of course, comfort zones are not static because they change based on the areas of your life you feel most comfortable with.

When are you out of your comfort zone? What is outside your comfort zone? When you begin to feel vulnerable, anxious, stressed, uncomfortable about doing something, then you’re stepping out of your comfort zone or you’re faced with the threat of stepping outside your comfort zone. Therefore, what is outside your comfort zone is something that scares or threatens you, and, not necessarily with bodily harm.

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing grows there.”

The Psychological States

According to White Alasdair, there are three psychological states: the comfort zone, optimal performance zone and the danger zone. Where the comfort zone is the stress-free zone which you’re familiar with. The optimal performance zone is the zone just outside your comfort zone where your performance is enhanced by some amount of stress. The danger zone, which is beyond the optimal performance zone, is where you feel great anxiety and your performance is below the performance you can attain in your comfort zone.

However, the problem is making distinctions between these psychological states and knowing when and how far you are willing to leave your comfort zone and when to stay in its confines.

Why do you need to leave your comfort zone? See the 4 reason below:

1. Stunted Growth

If you insist on staying in your comfort zone, you will probably never grow to be more than you are. That means you will always be stuck, never moving forward and never growing. Most people who become addicted to their comfort zones usually end up unable to achieve their goals because they’re somewhat obsessed with doing things the same way they’ve always done them even when it’s not producing results. As a result, you can never really explore what you’re capable of doing and what you can accomplish if you stick to your comfort zone

2. To find your Passion

Not moving out of your comfort zone makes it harder for you to discover your passion because no passion can ever be found in the shadows of your comfort zone, it can only be found by stepping away from your comfort zone.

3. To make sure you don’t settle for less

Even though you’ve not found that thing that makes your heart beat very fast (like love or passion), your comfort zone might push you to settle for less than what you could have if you just stepped out of it.

4. So you don’t get left behind

When you stay in your comfort zone, you will be left behind. Colleagues will leave you behind and people who were previously behind you in terms of life or career progress would meet up with you and leave you behind as well.

Why Your Comfort Zone is Good Sometimes

Although, many times, people focus more on the cons of not leaving your comfort zones, people sometimes forget that it might not be the best idea for you to move out of your comfort zone.

Here are some reasons why you might need to stay in your comfort zone:

1. You are not prepared to leave it yet

Sometimes, you might need to stay in your comfort zone a little while because you’re not yet prepared to step out of it and you may face dire consequences. So, you might need to make sure that you’re actually prepared to leave your comfort zone before you leave it.

2. Are you going too far away from your comfort zone?

It is true that without leaving our comfort zones, we might never know what we are capable of and what we can do. However, that does not mean that you should take giant leaps away from your comfort zone. Start with baby steps and move to strides as you leave your comfort zone.

3. Assess yourself

It is very important for you to assess yourself before leaving your comfort zone to see if it is the best choice for you to leave your comfort zone or If what is bothering you is just fear to leave it.

How to Leave or Expand Your Comfort Zone

First of all, you have to understand how the varying influences (Like parents, peers, siblings, etc.) in your life have contributed to shaping and conditioning your comfort zone. You have to overcome these influences and the conditions that have shaped the boundaries of your comfort zone. You will also have to change your habits, routines and behaviors that relate to your comfort zone and its boundaries.

But you can’t just do these overnight, you have to slowly push yourself out of your comfort zone and expand it. Here are few ways you can leave or expand your comfort zone:

  • Expose yourself to new environments that are just outside your comfort zone
  • Don’t overthink your decisions
  • Try new and different things like going somewhere new to eat, going to a different park to read, etc.
  • Don’t rely on your limited point of view, try to see things the way others do.
  • Do volunteer work
  • Challenge yourself from time to time

“To move to a new level in your life, you must break through your comfort zone and do things that are not comfortable.” – T. Harv Eker

Conclusion

Although your comfort zone might be the most comfortable part of your life, it isn’t wise to stay locked in it as it will not allow you to be who you are capable of being. And, most certainly, your big dreams and goals won’t come to pass so you need to work for them, and you can’t do that from your comfort zone.

Do you think there are sometimes people should stay in their comfort zone or should people always push at the boundaries of their comfort zone relentlessly? Comment below!

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Life

8 Unconventional Tips to Boost Your Self-Confidence

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Confident people seem to have it all. They are admired by others and generally do well at everything they try. Self-confidence plays an important role in our success, both in business and life. People that are self-confident are usually risk-takers, they believe in their abilities and aren’t afraid to fail because they know they can get past any obstacles.

But for those that struggle to believe in themselves, building up confidence can be a daunting task. However, there are ways to build confidence that aren’t difficult to implement.

Here are 8 ways you can boost your confidence:

1. Trust your gut

How many times have you had an impulse that you didn’t act on? Whether in a business or personal setting, if you struggle with low confidence it’s easy to walk away from situations where you have to put yourself in the spotlight. When you find yourself in a situation like this, give yourself a countdown to action. Three, two, one, go! If you take action immediately you don’t risk talking yourself out of something that might be a great idea. When inspiration strikes take it as a sign, trust your gut instinct, and act.

2. Strike a power pose

In a 2012 TED talk by Harvard Business School social psychologist Amy Cuddy, the concept of the “Power Pose” (think Superman with hands on hips, chin up, chest out, feet apart and firmly planted) was introduced as a way to increase confidence and lower stress. By adopting expansive postures and taking up more space, her research claims that cortisol will decrease and testosterone will increase causing a boost in personal performance. If you find yourself feeling nervous about a meeting or presentation, find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted and hold a power pose for two minutes.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

3. Only share with your supporters

When we’re excited about a new idea or venture, we want to tell our friends and family. Often we are seeking encouragement, support, or even validation from the people closest to us. Many times, those people want to protect us from failure and disappointment and in doing so, they manage to squash our dreams and cause our confidence to plummet. If you must confide in someone, be careful who you share your goals or dreams with. Protect your confidence by sharing your deepest desires with only those people that support you unequivocally.

4. Daydream your way to success

Studies have shown that we have a better chance at success if we spend time visualizing the results we want to achieve. Athletes have long used the process of visualization to boost their confidence and in turn, enhance their performance.

In fact, one study from the Cleveland Clinic Foundation, revealed that subjects who visualized their strength increasing for 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week for a total of 12 weeks, managed to do so without ever lifting a weight.

Top performers from the fields of golf, hockey, boxing, and even Olympians believe in the power of the mind to enhance their performance. Spend a few minutes every day in quiet contemplation seeing the outcomes you want in your life as if they have already become reality and you may see your confidence rise.

5. Failure is not bad

If we have issues with confidence often we will simply not act rather than risk failure. Keep in mind that many times quantity is more important than quality. The old saying practice makes perfect really does make sense. If we try we may indeed fail but if we then take that knowledge and try again, while making improvements and tweaking the process, we will hit on some winners. To build self-confidence, begin to redefine your definition of success, start to see your failures as opportunities to practice. Eventually your practice will make perfect.

6. Jump off the comparison train

These days people are obsessed with checking their social media accounts. In fact, a recent New York Post article, states that people check their phones over 80 times a day. With all this time spent on social it’s almost impossible not to compare yourself to others. No one posts a bad selfie, a video of their kid throwing a tantrum, or a bland image of their dinner of leftovers.

We are constantly barraged with beautiful people in beautiful places doing amazing things. It’s easy to compare our whole life to the staged, filtered, sliver of other people’s lives that is showcased on social. Jump off that comparison train with a social media detox and feel your confidence start to return.

“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” – Samuel Johnson

7. Loosen your grip

Going within can be a big confidence booster and people who practice meditation have reported an increase in their feelings of well-being, confidence, and self-worth. One of the reasons for this is that meditation allows us the opportunity to release the tight grip we have on attachment. We begin to allow our thoughts to float in and float out without judgement. This is particularly helpful when we are flooded with negative thoughts. By spending time developing a meditation practice we will learn to objectively observe our negative thoughts rather than allow them to take root and bring us down.

8. Know your stuff

You’ve heard the saying “knowledge is power” well I say knowledge is confidence. When we are in a situation and we feel comfortable that we know what we’re talking about, we feel confident. Confident in ourselves and confident in our abilities. Have you ever been in a situation where you knew all the answers and you still felt worried? No!

Do your best to know your stuff and confidence will be there for you. If you are prepping for a business event, make sure you feel comfortable speaking on your topic. The same goes for a social situation, if your confidence wanes when you can’t think of something to say, be sure you brush up on some recent news or have a few interesting stories to share. You will be calm and ready to go if you feel confident in your abilities.

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5 Characteristics That We Can Learn From Our Children for a Happier, Fuller Life

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Remember the last time an infant gazed innocently into your eyes and smiled? Those wide, uncritical eyes have the power to elicit a bliss that eludes us most of the time. For an instant, life feels beautiful and worth living. As we grow older, the worries and concerns brought forth by life prevent us from enjoying our natural state of happiness.

Learning to maintain that natural state of happiness by emulating a child should not be a euphoria. As Henry James puts it in “Live all you can; it’s a mistake not to. It doesn’t so much matter what you do in particular so long as you have your life. If you haven’t had that what have you had?”

Following, are the five basic childlike characteristics that we can learn from our children for a happier, fuller life:

1. They are amazingly inquisitive

If you have ever been in the company of a child, you are used for their constant questioning. Asking questions is a deeply ingrained biological blueprint allowing a child to make sense of the world around them. A study conducted by Ranganath, a psychologist at the University of California, found that curiosity can increase our memory.

Curiosity is directly associated with the hippocampus, a small organ located in the temporal lobe responsible for information processing and long-term memory. Cultivating childlike curiosity can decrease internal inconsistencies and conflicts with others. An inquisitive mind instead of a lockstep mind will lead to human beings embracing diversity which will, in return lead to a happier life.

“Play is the highest of form of research.” – Albert Einstein

2. They are playful

Being playful has a host of benefits that most of us are simply not aware of. The greatest thinkers of our time have embraced being playful as being one of the main tenets of creativity and inspiration. David Keller, founder and chairman of IDEO admits that the time he spent playing, making and breaking things were the most rewarding.

The American psychologist Abraham Maslow is perhaps the greatest proponents of playfulness. Playfulness has been found to increase focus, humility, courage and more importantly flexibility.

Playful people have a positive life outlook that give them more resilience to face the adversities of life. They are fully-functioning beings with low degrees of self-conflict and with more maturity. Remember the last time you were playful? How did you feel? Wouldn’t you want to experience to that happy state again?

3. They are always fully present

Have you ever noticed a child performing a task? Regardless of how mundane the task is, they get so caught up, that time seems to stand still. They are fully present. Being fully present means having your focus, your attention, your thoughts and feelings all fixed on the task at hand.

Mindfulness originated 2000 years ago exemplifying the importance of being fully present. Since its inception, it has helped countless people fight anxiety and stress and increase focus among others.

Life is so full of worries and regrets that compete for our attention, that “being fully present” represents an unattainable goal. Just like a child, being fully present can make us better listeners, build a tougher immune system and have more happiness. From today you have the duty to bring your undivided attention to whatever task at hand. This is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and those around us.

4. They are not afraid of judgment

I have had the opportunity to teach public speaking and English to preschoolers. One of my biggest realizations is that my preschool kids improve faster than their older counterparts. Why? As a child grows older, they become self-conscious, and consequently become less willing to practice.

This is analogous to adults; the plurality of the expectations placed upon us makes us become less expressive, we don’t take risks, get complacent and laziness starts to set in. Like a child, we have the right not to let others’ perception or self-imposed limitations prevents us from failing, learning and improving.

Learn to fail and fail to learn as if there was no tomorrow. What have you been putting off because of fear of failure? A quick challenge for you. Think of a task you’ve been putting off. Now, use a fresh, naïve, childlike approach, act as if fear of being judged was not on the table, how would the situation change? Chances are a change of perspective was all you needed to breakthrough.

“Our children can be our greatest teachers if we are humble enough to receive their lessons.” – Bryan McGill

5. They forgive and forget

Ever see a child fret after being reprimanded? How long did it take them to get back to their natural, happy state? Children have the amazing capacity to regain their initial level of joy almost immediately after being punished. They hold no grudge, they forgive and forget.

As is with any skill, this is a skill we can learn with practice. While it may be reasonable to be angry when offended, sometimes we hold to the anger more than necessary. We talk about it, we think about it, we even lose sleep over it. Unknowingly the problem becomes a priority.

We forget that people don’t do us wrong because of who we are but because of who they are. The best we can do is to let it go…forgive and forget. We cannot afford to carry a grudge around, as it will do more harm than good. Think of someone you need to forgive, call them right now and forgive and see how you feel.

I am confident the same reason that drew you to this article will also motivate you to take action. The principles may sound simple, but they are not easy. The commitment to a fuller, happier life for yourself and those around you is well worth the cost of trying. May you enjoy a happy, fulfilling life that I believe is yours by right.

What is something valuable that you have learned from children? Comment below!

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