Life
How to Discover the Fears That Impede Your Behaviors and Thwart Your Plans
How and why are your fears the limiting factors that impede your behaviors and thwart your plans? A form of emotional energy (just like passion), fear is ever present. It comes in many forms and from various sources; whenever we suspect a hidden agenda, or when we are summoned to find a better way of doing things.
Barriers that cause us to distort and ignore unpleasant results; stifle our learning. If induced, it can only be useful as a good short-term non-repetitive motivator. Like other human energy, it can be oriented and employed as an effective tool for success. If it is self-generated, it can stimulate us and provides us with the energy to meet all important opportunities and challenges.
Have you ever wondered: What did happen to all your past goals, plans and actions; if any? Why didn’t they materialize? You may say that you had tried to overcome them, but why are you still in your present situation? Nothing you tried worked in the past, so how different will it be now!
The ONLY ANSWER that I could offer: It is because you are still having negative limitations within you! They held you back in so many ways, and in every way. In reality, when you come face to face with your difficulties; you look for the nearest exit – avoiding them rather than challenge them and move forward. Your focus on your goals is being distracted and you abandon your vision.
These fears are very effective! In the most extreme cases, they are very destructive – causing emotional (mental illnesses), social (shunned and avoided by others) and physical (bodily maladies) results! Normal ones have crossed over the line to destructive ones (in varying degrees) when you allow them to inhibit you from attempting whatever you would like to do or should do.
Regardless of which kind they are, they will continue to thwart your current and future plans and actions; unless you decide to tackle them head on, accepting them as a stimulus. Otherwise, you will suffer their paralyzing effects. Have you really considered every possible restriction thoroughly? What kinds of strategies and plans did you adopt to deal with them?
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” – Rosa Parks
Where Do These Hurdles to Personal Development Come From?
What are these stumbling blocks? They apply to every one of us; and can come in various forms, to name a few, they include fear of:
- Failure or mistakes
- Success
- Disassociation with your current, or even new associations
- Step out of your comfort zones or into the unknown.
They came from conditioning from your past – the people who came before you (your grandparents, parents, even teachers), your peers, and even on starting a job. We were all conditioned to work accordingly and not question authority or facts. They manifested through your personality or temperament, and in your own thoughts of failing and making mistakes. You also want to avoid being ridiculed and what others may think of your sudden failed undertakings.
Your upbringing also often warned you that to be successful is taboo. Success means earning lots of money is sinful or through unscrupulous means. They also come in the form of the kinds of people you attract and associate with. Such influences can harm you and add to your unease to move out of your comfort zones due to lack of support.
In the form of negative messages from news broadcasts on TV, newspapers or in magazines – on assaults and murders, growth barriers convince us that the world is coming apart. Another commonly overlooked area is our ignorance and neglect of the use of the vast positive resources (books, magazines, tapes and even email newsletters) readily available to us. One thing, for sure, is that all these – induced or self-generated – fears have their limits. It is up to you to discover and halt them before they overgrow to the state of being overwhelming.
How are These Restrictions Limiting Your Actions and Behaviors?
From past ignorance, they lead to further ignorance; not letting us want to explore the Unknown. They lead us to have mixed perceptions of things around us. We thus keep repeating them throughout our daily lives over and over again.
Can You Completely Dispel All These Limitations?
Yes, we all can! You must first realize that FEAR really is no more than False Evidence Appearing Real.
The road to success is never easy for anyone. You only see successful people in their peak moments, not their many years of striving to get there. The two sure things in life are death and taxes. The two sure things on the road to success are failure and doubt.
You must learn from failure and conquer your doubt in order to achieve any success. Thus, you need to have a well-developed plan, with your values as foundation and a vision for yourself from within you; to make that vision happen. In short, there is nothing holding you back. So give them no power in your life. Instead turn them into positive fears and start to enjoy living life on the right path.
Now, decide what YOU REALLY WANT for yourself! Face up to your qualms and turn them around. Regain control of your life as you avoid all the dangers of failure. Put all these down on paper, not just bits and pieces; get a journal. It will come a long way as you plan out your every step of your life from this point onwards.
I used to draft meetings, afraid that I will make the mistakes of jumbling my facts up. Then, I begin to view it as a good thing. It in turn created discipline in me and helped me to be more focused on the important things that I really need to do.
Beware: These hindrances can sneak back even when we are successful. To keep us on our toes, we all need a good mentor or someone to whom we can be accountable to. If you would let the trepidation of letting someone else down be greater than your willingness to let yourself (even your goals) slip away; you are on your way to be a winner, overcoming your personal development barriers.
“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” – Marie Curie
Wouldn’t it be great when the day comes for all of us to leave this world, we can be proud that we had LIVED LIFE and made it an enriching and successful one. We all want to be honored and recognized for our efforts during our time on this earth – we all get only one chance. So, let’s not waste it and make the most of it!
Knowing the fundamental limiting factors that most affect your personal actions and behaviors, you are set to focus upon adopting your new life strategies. These include your personal philosophy, and the remapping of your personal values and ethics. Draw up your personal development plan to help you along as you embark onto the fulfillment of your many desires.
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE the power of the change within you – in mind, body and soul – as you grow in your capability to dispel all your personal development barriers. You must be willing to take some risks and accept no excuses from yourself! That way, you will have no regrets in yourself and your life. If one way fails, look for alternative ways to overcome your problems.
Remember that any kind of change and goal achievement – including the mastery of fears – is a learning process as you travel on your road to success. It takes time to happen.
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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Why Daily Rituals Matter
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