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The Only Rules For Being Human

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Being human is bloody hard work. When you’re born, no one gives you a rulebook.

There’s no manual for life or the body and mind you’ve been given. For the first twenty to thirty years of your life, you have no clue about anything. For those of us who are a bit older, we have plenty of wisdom to pass down.

These are the only rules for being human that I’ve see in my own life and in others:

You’re beautiful

No one ever tells you this. Deep down you know it subconsciously, but until it’s pointed out, life seems to be missing something. Until you come to this realization, everything doesn’t quite make sense. It’s like you have the jigsaw puzzle of life and are missing three out of the nine hundred pieces. It’s not enough to stuff up the end picture, but it’s enough to create a void.

When I say beautiful, I mean that in the physical, spiritual, emotional and intellectual sense. Compared to other animals, you have it all. Abundance is all around you and best of all you get to live a long life compared to other species. Do you ever stop to ponder this fact?

Does anyone ever tell you that life is freaking amazing and you should stop and think about that for a second? No, they don’t. They tell you to “Keep hustling baby!” and “Keep looking for your passion.”

What if the fact you’re beautiful outweighed all of this other nonsense? Every single one of us is mind blowing. We’re beautiful when we solve problems together. We’re beautiful when we’re home alone pondering life. We’re beautiful 100% of the time. That’s how we were created. Believe it!

The world owes you jack

Just having oxygen in your lungs is a miracle. The fact you were the successful sperm that survived amongst all the others is phenomenal. Being born into this world is already enough and everything that happens after that is a privilege.

You’re not entitled to anything. No one is going to give you anything. Everything you get is a direct result of what action you take. Even taking action is not enough. If your actions don’t follow this formula you’re screwed:

– Your actions must reflect the truth
– Your actions must serve all of us on some level
– Most of all, your actions must be aligned with who you are

Not following this formula will see you take action towards goals that never get fulfilled. This turns into a cup full of your hopes and dreams that at the same time is leaking all over the floor. The world is not going to block those leaks for you, or stop your leaky cup – you have to. It’s all you.

Your mind starts as a blank canvas

You’re not born with anything. Everything that happens in your life after you’re born is painted in your mind. So if you start with a blank canvas, then it’s up to you to create the artwork. Only you can turn that artwork into a masterpiece.

How do you do that? You’ve got to intentionally fill your mind with inputs that are going to help you break through the negativity that exists everywhere. Unless you take control, your blank canvas will be painted by the world around you.

That world is negative as hell. If you let that be the result then instead of ending up with a Picasso, you’ll end up with misspelled graffiti that’s created by a delinquent child who refuses to grow up.

Painting this canvas, by the way, will be your fulltime job.

Your body is as magnificent as you think it is

That body you’ve been given doesn’t need to change; you need to change the way you think about it. It’s already pure perfection so don’t let society tell you that you must change it.

You’ve been given two arms to hug those you care about. You’ve been given two legs to walk you through life’s biggest challenges. You’ve been given a heart capable of loving anyone and anything. You’ve been given two eyes to see your vision come to life for real. You’ve been given lips to kiss the one that captures your heart.

“Don’t be scared of the body you do have; be scared of what the body you have been given can achieve when you decide never to give up and pursue your dreams with all you’ve got”

You can only learn

Every mishap is nothing more than an experiment. Failure doesn’t exist only lessons. You’ve heard this cliché so many times before and that’s only because it’s true. When you hear something over and over, you must listen to what that message is trying to tell you. Life is nothing but learning.

“The truth is you never reach mastery”

You’re a fulltime student for your entire life and the results of your experiments are determined by you. See your experiments as necessary and magical, and you’ll get the lesson about lifelong learning.

I’ve learned to take time for myself, be compassionate, be kind to myself and to inspire others. What will your experiments teach you?

Right now is already your best moment

There is no future moment when you will have arrived. Only when you realize you have arrived right now, will the future be what you want. It’s right now that has to change. Right now has to be the best time of your life.

It’s this whole idea of “One day in the future” that tears down everything we have worked hard for. YOU HAVE TO LOVE RIGHT NOW! NOW IS THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE!

Will you even get a chance in the future to have your best moment? Maybe not. Then you will have died never knowing how insanely cool life can be.

Your perception of others is a reflection of you

All those harsh remarks you make about people’s weight, their intelligence, and how they act, is a direct reflection of you. It was only when I personally tried to reframe from judging others so much that I saw who I could really be.

Judging others forms a roadblock to the life you’ve always dreamt of. The way you perceive others is the way you perceive yourself. Treat others nicely and you’ll treat yourself the same way. I know this advice seems confusing at first, but it will make sense when you try it.

Replace your judgment for compassion towards others. Supercharge your results by going that extra mile and inspiring people at the same time. I’m not sure why, but when you do this, everything starts to change. There’s no going back once you reach this level in your life.

From this point, you can go on to do whatever you want. People will conspire in your favor. Money starts to become irrelevant. You’ll discover a side to you that you never thought could ever exist. You’ll see a reflection in the mirror that makes you so proud. This moment could also make you cry. That’s okay too.

Your life is the result of what you make of it

The word “Life” should have it’s meaning replaced with one sentence: A list of decisions. Your life is just one big decision list. The more fear and vulnerability you use in each decision you make, the more you make of your life.

As you get better at making decisions, your life get’s better too. Every decision you have to make comes with an intuitive response from within. Let’s not get all spiritual though. That intuitive response is the decision you must make. It just comes down to whether you have the guts to do what is right.

“There are no external forces that will control what your life becomes. All of your results come from within”

When there’s no answer, it’s love

Each of us reaches a point where we become stuck. We look everywhere and can’t find the answer sometimes. When you become lost and feel like the compass is lying to you, understand that the answer is always love.

It means you must give more love and find ways to bring more love into your life. Love is a very powerful weapon that can help you get through anything.

It’s also a word that scares the pants off people because they think it makes them weird or not like everyone else. Love can sometimes be seen as very “Woo Woo.”

If you have no other answer, then it’s worth a shot, right? What’s the worst that can happen? You spread love and nothing comes back? You already know that’s still a pretty good result. Nothing has been wasted in this experiment.

You have every answer already

Every answer exists in your mind already. It always has. Your mind is like a maze and when you learn to navigate through it, you find the answers that were there all along.

Forgive yourself

You do some dumb stuff sometimes. Be kind to yourself and realize that no one is perfect. You can be the average of the five greatest people in the entire world and still make huge mistakes. You can read every self-help book on Amazon and still mess up.

You can quit alcohol for five years and still go backward again. You can decide never to cheat again and still end up giving in to temptation. All of these situations are entirely possible. When they happen, forgive yourself. Sometimes you will go backward, but that’s only so you can move forward even faster.

Feel emotion every single day

That means you must laugh, take time to use your mind to think and let emotion overwhelm you in the form of tears every single day you are on this planet.

To not feel the gift of emotion is the ultimate crime. It’s what will give you the motivation, relaxation and inclination to live the best life you possibly can. If your days seem boring it’s because you’ve forgotten these three gifts.

These gifts sound so dumb and can easily be dismissed. Like I always say “Success is ‘stupid smart’ and not rocket science.” All the little things you dismiss are what’s causing you all of your pain.

You will F all of this up

All the rules for being human that I just gave you will be messed up by you at some point.

It’s a money back guarantee and entirely expected. So now that we’ve cleared this up, when you break a rule now and then, realize it’s okay and just go back to the game plan. Adjust, focus, reposition again, and lock and load. Then pull the trigger again and insist on fearing less.

We all f stuff up. It’s part of being human and yet another rule.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

The Success Trap of Waiting Until Something Feels Wrong

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After enough years in medicine, you start to notice a pattern that has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with psychology. The most driven, capable people in the room are often the last ones to deal with a problem.

Not because they are careless. Usually it’s the opposite. They have built successful lives by pushing through discomfort, solving problems, and staying in motion when other people stop.

I still think about one patient from time to time, although the truth is I’ve seen versions of her story more times than I could count. She was building a company, or maybe it was her career, I don’t remember anymore, and she’d been ignoring a symptom for months. She knew it wasn’t normal. She’d caught it early, but there was always a reason to put it off. A launch, a deadline, an important meeting she couldn’t miss. In her mind, stopping even for a day felt like falling behind.

By the time she finally came in, the problem had grown into something much harder to treat than it needed to be. I never thought of her as careless, and I don’t think denial is the right word either. She was doing what had always worked for her: keep pushing, don’t get distracted by small problems, and deal with them later.

That habit that serves you so well at work doesn’t always serve you everywhere else. When it comes to your health, it can become part of the problem.

Why Ignoring Small Problems Feels Like Discipline

People who accomplish a lot usually learn early on that not every ache, inconvenience, or setback deserves their attention. If they stopped every time something felt a little off, they’d never get anything done. After a while, pushing through just becomes second nature, and that habit doesn’t stay at work. It follows them everywhere else.

The problem is that this instinct doesn’t know the difference between grit and denial. Grit is choosing to endure something hard that you understand and have decided is worth enduring. Denial is ignoring a signal you never actually evaluated. They can feel identical in the moment, which is exactly why so many capable people confuse them.

This happens constantly, and not just when it comes to personal health. A founder notices the same customer complaints showing up every month, but keeps writing them off because fixing them would mean admitting there’s a problem with the product. An executive is surviving on four hours of sleep because it’s “just a busy season,” even though that season has lasted the better part of a year. Someone else has been living with the same symptom for months because making an appointment feels like one more thing they don’t have time for.

None of them are being careless. They’re using the same mindset that helps them succeed at work in a situation where it just doesn’t fit.

The Hidden Cost of Living Reactively

The real cost of reactive living isn’t the eventual crisis. It’s everything that happens before the crisis, which is usually invisible even to the person paying for it.

Living reactively means a portion of your attention is always spent managing something you haven’t dealt with yet. That’s a tax you pay daily, in the form of decisions made from a place of low-grade dread instead of clarity, in the form of energy that should be going toward your best work instead going toward keeping a problem contained. You don’t usually notice this tax because it doesn’t announce itself. It just quietly reduces how much of you is available for the things that matter.

This pattern plays out with health the same way it does in business. Very few of the serious conditions I’ve treated appeared overnight. Most started small, were easy to dismiss, and stayed that way for longer than people expected. Your body usually gives you plenty of chances to notice something is wrong before it forces you to pay attention.

Prevention Is the Highest Leverage Work You’ll Ever Do

Meanwhile, we celebrate the comeback, the turnaround, the crisis survived. Nobody publishes a book about the disaster that never happened because someone handled it early.

But prevention is the harder, more advanced skill. Crisis response gets you sympathy and a story. Prevention requires you to act on something before it’s demanding your attention, with no audience and no applause, purely because you understand what will happen if you don’t. That takes a kind of self-management that most people never develop, because it isn’t rewarded the way heroics are.

The best leaders and founders don’t actually handle crises better than everyone else, they just have fewer of them because they treat maintenance as a strategy rather than as something to get to eventually. They ask what a version of themselves with more information would already know, and then they go find that information instead of waiting for it to force its way in.

What This Looks Like in Practice

If any of this sounds familiar, you don’t need to turn your life upside down. Start small. Every few months, take a little time to think about the things you’ve been putting up with instead of dealing with. It could be your health, something at work, your finances, or even a relationship that’s been quietly wearing you down.

The most useful question to ask yourself is a simple one: Am I choosing to put up with this, or am I just avoiding it? Those two things can feel surprisingly similar when you’re in the middle of them, but they aren’t the same. One is intentional. The other usually catches up with you sooner or later.

A Different Definition of Strength

We tend to define strength as the ability to endure. I’d argue the more useful definition is the ability to notice early and act before you have to endure anything at all.

The people I’ve seen build businesses, careers, and even healthy lives over the long term usually aren’t the ones who can take the biggest hit. More often than not, they’re the ones who dealt with small problems before those problems had a chance to grow. It isn’t the most exciting approach or the one that tells the grandest story, but it’s the reason they stay healthy and keep moving forward.

Next time you brush off a small warning sign, ask yourself why you’re ignoring your body’s signals. Most of the time, you’ll likely find that it has less to do with your schedule and more to do with clinging to the identity of being someone who never needs to slow down.

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How Teams Create Their Own Legacy Systems and How to Leave Them Behind

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Legacy systems are not only old software left by someone else. Many teams create their own legacy after a fast launch. The product still works, but every change takes longer. People work hard, and delivery still slows down.This article explains how that happens, how to spot it, and how to plan a rewrite without stopping the business.

What a Legacy System Looks Like in Practice

A legacy system is software that costs more to change than it should. Age is not the main test. The real test is whether the team can still deliver at a normal pace.

Common signs are practical. The tech stack is hard for the current team to work with. Unused parts of the product stay in place because nobody is sure what will break. Tests exist, but they do not catch real problems. Only a few people understand how the system works. Small features take several sprints, and the team spends more time fighting the system than improving the product.

When effort goes up and output goes down, the system has become legacy for your team.

How a Fast Start Turns Into Legacy

Many teams do not inherit legacy. They create it while trying to move fast.

A common path looks like this. You need users quickly, so you build on an existing solution instead of starting from scratch. In the first months, that works. You ship. You get feedback. The decision looks smart.

Later, the same decision slows you down. The base system was not built for your roadmap, your team’s skills, or your quality needs. What helped you launch now blocks simple changes.Teams often stay with that base too long because the early result was real. Rewriting feels like throwing away progress. So they keep the old foundation even after it stops helping.

Why Teams Keep Patching

Most teams do not decide to live with legacy. They decide to make one more fix.

A patch looks cheaper and safer than a rewrite. It also avoids a hard discussion about stopping work on the current system. For a while, that can be the right call.

After a point, patches add more complexity than they remove. Each fix creates new constraints. The team spends its best time keeping the old system stable instead of building useful product work.

One clear signal is when a basic feature can no longer reach production in a normal cycle. There may be no major outage. There is just steady delay. At that point, the choice is usually simple: keep paying the cost of the current system, or test a rewrite under clear rules. If delivery has already stalled, some teams also need help to stabilize a software project before the next big decision.

Treat a Rewrite as an Experiment

A full rewrite can fail if it has no limits. Some rewrites never reach users and waste months. That risk is real. Staying in legacy forever has a cost too.

A better approach is to treat the rewrite as an experiment. Set a clear scope for the first version. Review progress every week with demos people can see. Track how much work actually gets finished, not only how busy the team looks. Keep the old system running until the new one is ready. Do not freeze the business while the team rebuilds in private.

This makes the decision easier to manage. Stakeholders can judge real progress. If pace and quality improve, continue. If not, stop before the rewrite becomes its own long project with no end date.

Describe the Product You Want Before You Rebuild

Many rewrite projects fail because the team copies the old system as it is.

Legacy code shows how the product works today. It does not always show why a feature exists, or which parts are leftovers from old decisions. If you rebuild only from the old code, you may also rebuild old bugs and unused paths.

A clearer method is to describe the product you want first. Who uses it. What should happen. What you will leave out. Write that down so business and engineering share the same scope. Then decide how to build it.

This matters even more when teams can generate code quickly. Fast output without a clear product description can create a new legacy system sooner. Speed helps only when the goal is clear and shared.

Keep the Old System Running Until the New One Is Ready

Leaving a legacy system does not mean turning it off on day one. Customers still need a working product.Keep the old system live while the new one is built and checked. Release small pieces that prove the new system works. Review quality and pace often. Switch when the new product can support real use, not when the plan looks good on paper.

The goal is a clean handoff, not a dramatic shutdown.

Conclusion

Legacy is not only software you inherit. It is often software your own fast start created.If the team is busy and delivery keeps slowing down, do not assume another patch will solve it. Look at the cost of staying. If a rewrite makes sense, run it as a short, visible experiment. Describe the product you want. Keep the old system online until the new one can take over.

The useful skill is noticing when the system that once helped you launch now blocks progress, and changing course before that cost gets worse.

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Why Efficiency is Overrated (And How to Actually Get Things Done)

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If you look at someone like Tim Ferriss, you might assume he is a hyper-productive, super-optimized efficiency machine. After all, he authored The 4-Hour Workweek and built a massive empire around deconstructing world-class performance.

But according to Ferriss, if you were to act as a fly on the wall in his house, he would often look like he is “doing a whole lot of nothing” or flailing like a “drowning monkey.”

The truth is, Ferriss isn’t obsessed with efficiency. He is obsessed with effectiveness. And there is a massive difference between the two.

In a recent deep-dive interview, Ferriss broke down how he structures his life, why he relies on “mini-retirements” to prevent burnout, and the exact protocols he uses to pull himself out of a low mood.

Efficiency vs. Effectiveness: The Ultimate Trap

Most people are trapped in the default mode of the universe: productivity theater. They do things that pass as productive to themselves and others (“Look at how busy I am!”), but they aren’t actually moving the needle.

  • Effectiveness is what you do.
  • Efficiency is how you do it.

As Ferriss explains, doing something well does not make it important. If you choose the wrong task and execute it flawlessly, you have wasted your time. It is far better to choose the absolute highest-leverage task (the “lead domino” that knocks over everything else) and execute it at a B-minus level than to efficiently accomplish tasks that don’t matter.

“If you’re running a marathon, you’re not going to take a taxi from point A to point B. Sure, that’ll be efficient, but that sort of defeats the purpose of the whole exercise,” Ferriss says.

How to Choose the Right Projects (The “Successful Failure” Method)

If what you work on is more important than how you work on it, how do you choose what to tackle? Ferriss uses a very specific filter for evaluating 3-to-6-month projects: “Can I succeed even if I fail?”

When evaluating opportunities, he chooses the projects that will allow him to develop rare skills or deepen valuable relationships, regardless of the external outcome.

When he launched his podcast in 2014, people told him it was too late. But he didn’t care about immediate external success; he used the podcast as a tool to reduce his verbal ticks, improve his interviewing skills for future books, and build deeper relationships with friends. Even if the podcast had “failed” commercially, he would have succeeded in leveling up his personal operating system.

The Architecture of a High-Leverage Day

Ferriss doesn’t rigidly structure every minute of his day. Instead, he focuses on a weekly architecture. By setting rigid days for specific tasks (e.g., all team calls on Tuesdays, all recordings on Mondays and Fridays), he creates a scaffolding that absorbs the chaos of daily life.

When it comes to his daily routine, he follows two main rules:

  1. Do Not Rush the First Hour: If he feels rushed in the morning, he will feel rushed all day.
  2. State, Story, Strategy: To change his mindset, he starts with his physical state. He uses a 3-to-5-minute cold plunge immediately upon waking to release norepinephrine, followed by a hot tub for hyper-dilation. This state change creates a more enabling internal “story,” which allows him to formulate a better “strategy” for the day.

“If you can single-task for two to three hours a day… you’re going to be ahead of 90% of the population,” Ferriss advises.

Managing Low Mood and Hypervigilance

Even top performers battle anxiety, rumination, and low mood. Ferriss refers to his mind as a “border collie”—if you leave it inside too long, it will chew the couch.

To prevent depressive spirals, Ferriss relies on a few non-negotiable protocols:

  • Prophylactic Scheduling: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Ferriss schedules regular group dinners with friends and multiple week-long group trips a year to ensure he always has something to look forward to.
  • Identity Diversification: If your podcast, startup, or job is the sole barometer of your self-worth, you are incredibly vulnerable. Ferriss diversifies his identity through rock climbing, archery, writing, and investing. If his business has a terrible week but he hits a PR in the gym, his overall week is still a win.
  • Protecting Sleep: Ferriss notes that his low moods are almost always preceded by compromised sleep and excessive caffeine intake.

Beware the “High Achiever Complex”

When operating in a permissionless environment (where you can work whenever and wherever you want), the biggest risk is that you will end up working all the time.

Ferriss combats this by taking mini-retirements—scheduling 3 to 4 weeks where he is entirely offline.

“If you do that, you have to set up systems and policies that will persist after you return,” Ferriss explains. If your business requires your constant input, it is broken. Stepping away forces you to build systems that scale, ultimately saving you from your own desire to constantly be in control.

In the end, you are going to die with items left on your to-do list. Stop trying to efficiently clear the deck, and start focusing on the few critical actions that actually make you feel alive.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Tim Ferriss 11 years ago:

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Success Advice

How to Achieve Massive Success Without Crushing Your Soul

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Most highly ambitious people suffer from a dangerous illusion: the belief that if they can just achieve one more milestone—a funding round, a promotion, an exit—they will finally feel like they are enough.

Entrepreneurs and leaders will sacrifice their sleep, relationships, and sanity to reach that distant horizon. But when the big payday or the massive accolade finally arrives, a terrifying reality sets in: nothing changes. The external world shifted, but the internal emptiness remained. Trying to find internal validation through external achievement is like drinking saltwater to quench your thirst; it seems like it will work, but it only leaves you thirstier.

High achievers are always playing two games in parallel:

  1. The External Game: Your career, your income, your accolades, and your status.
  2. The Internal Game: Your relationship with yourself, your peace, and your self-worth.

You can have white-hot ambition, make incredible money, and build a meaningful legacy without burning out. But to win without crushing your soul, you must master metacognition—the ability to reflect on and control your own thinking.

Here are three profound internal shifts you must make to beat high achiever burnout and build a life you actually enjoy.

1. Fire Your Internal Coach

Most ambitious people are driven by a ruthless inner monologue. This internal “coach” constantly whispers that your value is strictly tied to your performance. If you fail, you are worthless.

Many high achievers justify this abusive inner voice. They believe it gives them their edge and keeps them motivated. But if you step back and truly observe that voice, you will notice something profound: your inner critic rarely offers actionable solutions or brilliant ideas. It only offers fear.

That toxic internal coach is simply your own fear incarnated—fear of failure, fear of rejection, and fear of not being enough. Worse, this doesn’t just hurt you. When you operate from a place of self-loathing and fear, you project that negativity onto your team, your business partners, and your family.

You cannot cultivate healthy relationships with others if your relationship with yourself is toxic. To reach the next level of leadership, you must fire that coach. Give yourself permission to stop beating yourself up, and consciously shift from being your own harshest critic to being your strongest ally.

2. Pull the Nails Out of Your Head

Imagine a person complaining about a blinding, chronic headache while completely ignoring the obvious iron nail sticking out of their forehead.

In business and in life, we all accumulate metaphorical nails. Your nail is the obvious problem you are actively avoiding. It might be a co-founder relationship that has turned toxic. It might be a failing product line you are too stubborn to cut. It might be a destructive personal habit, or a deep-seated trauma you have refused to address.

We leave these nails in our heads for one simple reason: pulling them out hurts.

To reach the next peak of success, you have to realize that growth is not a straight upward line. To get off a stagnant plateau, you must first traverse a valley. If you fire a toxic client, you will face temporary financial stress. If you quit a bad habit, you will face temporary discomfort.

Something has to get worse before it gets better. But everything you truly want is on the other side of that temporary valley. Facing your fears and pulling out the nails is a superpower. Endure the short-term pain, and watch how fast you elevate once you are finally free of the friction.

3. Trust Your Second Voice

The voice of fear and criticism is not the only voice in your head. You have a second voice—your intuition.

Unlike your inner critic, your intuition does not speak through panic or fear; it speaks through energy. Energy is the language of your true ambition.

When you think about a project you feel obligated to do out of societal pressure, your energy lags. You feel a heavy sense of dread. But when you think about an idea you are secretly terrified of but deeply passionate about, your energy spikes. You feel electricity.

In almost every major business or life decision, you already know the answer. Your intuition has already told you what to do; your hesitation is simply a negotiation with your fear.

How do you conquer that fear? Write it down. Fears are incredibly dangerous when they lurk as nebulous clouds in your subconscious. When you put them on paper, they lose their paralyzing power. They cease to be monsters and simply become standard problems to be solved. And as an entrepreneur, you are an expert at solving problems.

Stop Waiting for the Destination

It is easy to look at the grind of building a business and think, “I’ll be happy when I finally sell this company,” or “I’ll relax when we hit $10 million in ARR.”

But the point of the journey is not the destination. The point of the flight is not simply to land; it is to experience the magic of being in the air.

Stop postponing your happiness for a future that is not guaranteed. Fire your toxic internal coach, do the hard work of pulling out your nails, and follow the energy of your intuition. You have already arrived. You are living in the “good old days” right now—make sure you are actually present enough to enjoy them.

Here is a great speech by Graham Weaver about How to Win Without Crushing Your Soul

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