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Success Advice

What 46 Intelligent, Insightful & Truly Amazing People Taught Me About Success

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It’s September. School just started again, yet I won’t be going back this fall (gasp!!!). Instead, I’m taking a year off from school in order to take control of my own education, and will be documenting all of my experiences on a new blog I just launched called The Gap Year Experiment.

With no curriculum to follow, and a world full of opportunities now available at my fingertips, I had to decide what things were most important to learn. What are the skills, experiences, and habits I could create during my “gap year experiment” that would help me get the most out of the next 365 days of my life?

To answer that, I asked some of my mentors, friends, and role models to give me their 1-3 sentence responses to the following question:

Knowing what you do now, if you could have taught yourself and/or done one thing at

18 years old to create a better foundation for your future success, what would it have been and why? The responses have been incredible! Business celebrities like Tony Hsieh, the Founder of UGG Australia, and the Founder of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, as well as a variety of professional athletes, New York Times bestselling authors, professors, entrepreneurs, and creative types, all chimed in with words of wisdom, and their collective insights will become my curriculum over the course of this next year as I take on various experiments designed to instill in me these same lessons I’ve been advised to learn.

These lessons, as I quickly came to realize, were too valuable for me to keep to myself, so without further adieu, here is what I learned.

 

SUCCESS IN BUSINESS

1) “When I was 18, I was full of dreams, energy and excitement. I couldn’t wait to graduate and start making money. I saw an Opportunity to go into business with my brothers and I seized it! I Worked hard and Never gave up. Years later, I started reading and filling my mind with ideas and Inspiration. It changed my life and my career took off! If you are just starting out don’t wait. Time is your most precious resource. Invest it. Use it well. Start now!” – Peter van Stralen, CEO of Sunshine Brands

2) “Be unapologetically true yourself, both in business and in life, and broadcast who you are to the world. The right people will eventually find you.” – Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos

3) If I had been focused on my future, I may never have had this one. If I had been focused on foundations, I may never have built one. If I had been focused on success, I may never have achieved it. You have to do what you love because you love it and not for any other reason. And so I have nothing to teach my eighteen-year old self because it’s my eighteen-year-old self that my present-day self should be learning from.” – Neil Strauss, NYT Bestselling Author

4) “By eighteen, I had worked four summers on the construction crew of my dad’s company, held after school jobs in gas stations. I also cleaned a bakery, and after leaving high school worked on a road-building crew to make the streets for a new subdivision in my home town. Without a doubt it was the diversity of the people that I met during this time that expanded my view towards becoming an entrepreneur, versus following the typical University-to-life career path of my friends. I narrowly avoided joining a bank in a coastal town so I could surf every day, when the local grocery store owner took me aside and said, ‘You have so much you can do with your life, so get out and explore.’

So, looking back I would not wish to have changed anything. Traveling was the most critical step in me seeing opportunity, especially the fact that nobody in America owned sheepskin boots, while the product was everywhere in Australia, which ultimately led to UGGs.” – Brian Smith, Founder of UGG Australia, Author and Speaker

 

FINDING MENTORS

5) “To create a better foundation for success, I would have welcomed the advice of working with a mentor sooner. I was quite independent early in my career (few female mentors were available), thinking that dependence on others and asking questions were a sign of weakness, as was failure. Instead over time, I learned that I didn’t have to go it alone. The goal of a mentor is to shorten our learning curve. Failure wasn’t an option early on; now it is the only option. Fail Faster, Succeed

Sooner, is part of my philosophy. The power of relationships, particularly of a mentor and a mastermind, means that I can ask for the help and expertise of others to move forward more quickly.” – Dr. Cheryl Lentz, The Academic Entrepreneur

6) “The best foundation is built on someone else’s mistakes. Find a mentor about 10- 15 years older and grab onto their wisdom. Competition is too stiff to allow for many mistakes of your own!” – Bud Moeller, Former Partner at Accenture and Professional Race Car Driver

7) “Though it can be tough, force yourself to be in situations where you feel like the dumbest person in the room. Constantly surround yourself with people smarter than you, but don’t allow it to intimidate you; instead, use it as an opportunity to learn.” – Nick Arnett, Summit Community Development Manager for the Thiel Foundation

8) “If I could have done one thing at 18 to better my foundation for success, I would have become an apprentice. I would have spent a lot of time reflecting on areas that fired me up, and then I would have found those who were absolutely CRUSHING it in these fields. I would rank them sequentially, and then reach out to them individually describing in detail how I could ADD VALUE to their lives in exchange for learning from them. Would I get a lot of no’s? YES. Would I keep persevering until I found a mentor? YES. What you put out in the universe becomes a magnet…and this magnet would result in a powerful mentor to guide me through my late teens, early 20’s.” – John Lee Dumas, Founder of EntrepreneurOnFire

 

ON BUILDING SKILLS

9) I would have taught myself more programming languages. At 18, I had dabbled in computer science a little bit and could build a blog, but that was about it. If I could go back and teach myself anything, it’d be more programming languages. There’s something incredibly powerful about being able to sit down at a computer and prototype an idea in a weekend without having to call upon your “techie” friends to help you.” – Stacey Ferreira, CEO of AdMoar, Co-Founder of 2 Billion Under 20

10) “If I could have taught myself one thing, it would have been how to get over my early fear of cold calling and cold approaching individuals I don’t know. So many of The Muse’s biggest successes are due to cold outreach, and I wish I’d forced myself to get comfortable with this a lot sooner!” – Kathryn Minshew, CEO of The Muse

11) “I would have started writing sooner than I did. Oh, sure, I wrote the occasional article. Today I write weekly, if not even more often. I focus on customer service and experience, and as a result have written hundreds of articles, with minimal repetition. My ideas are generated from the books I read (about one every two weeks) and the dozens of articles I read, or at least look at, weekly. This keeps my mind sharp, at the top of my game, and on the cutting edge of new information, and the amount of writing I do now positions me as an expert and thought leader in my area of expertise.” – Shep Hyken, customer service expert and NYT bestselling business author

12) “When I was 18 I wish I would have known and understood the power of email marketing. Yeah, that sounds drab and boring, but the email algorithm doesn’t change. If people opt-in to your email list, they want your content and they’ll get it in their (sacred) inboxes. Social media is great, but when you have zero control over when things change on those platforms, being able to reach followers and Likes can become impossible.” – Jason Surfrapp, Author of Creativity for Sale, Founder of IWearYourShirt.com

13) “Genius Networking and Marketing. Those are the two capabilities that create a foundation of future success better than anything I’ve learned about. Marketing is the way to positively impact millions (even billions) of people, and Genius Networking is the way to get in front of those people.” – Joe Polish, Founder of the Genius Network

14) “I would have studied how to be better at sales because it is one of the most important skills for business and life. I would have also written down short term and long term goals for myself both personal and professional so that I could have had better direction and focus.” – Nick Friedman, President and Co-Founder of College Hunks Hauling Junk

15) “It comes down to the work. If you want to do something and someone is outworking you…if you fail, then it is pretty much your fault…If you’re working harder than everyone else, than your chances of succeeding are so high!” – Com Mirza, Entrepreneur, Venture Capitalist, and Author

 

ON HABITS

16) “The difference between successful people and everyone else is what they do daily. Developing productive habits and working them every day, over time will always lead to success. At 18, I would have asked myself, ‘What are 3 things you can do daily that will bring you closer to your goals?'” – Kyle Fogg, Professional Basketball Player and Former Guard for the University of Arizona

17) “Well, I am not 18 yet, so I don’t know. So I will go back to 14 year old Jacob. I would tell 14 year old Jacob not to focus on achieving a grade in a class but rather to focus on understanding the concepts behind the grade. It is not the end result, but the process that matters.” – Jacob Barnett, World’s Youngest Astrophysicist

18) “There is a difference between wanting something and it being non-negotiable. When shit hits the fan, you’ll find excuses for the former, but the latter will get done. Choose your non-negotiable consciously, for they will be rooted in pleasure and pain avoidance if you don’t.” – Connor Grooms, Founder of One Month Master

19) “I always had a thirst for knowledge. If I knew at age 18 what I know now, I would have listened more carefully.” – Ron Klein, Inventor of the Magnetic Strip Credit Card Validity Checking System

20) “I would have taken the time to learn how to listen earlier. Learning about non-
violent communication and how to take feedback has been integral to both my personal happiness and professional success.” – Dale J. Stephens, Founder of UnCollege

 

ON HEALTH

21) A commitment to lifelong physical health. It’s something that everybody talks about all the time (not just pro athletes), but so few of us give consistent effort to maintaining it. I remember the moment it hit home for me was when I came across a quote from the Dalai Lama on humanity: he said that what puzzled him most about mankind is that ‘we sacrifice so much of our health in the pursuit of money, only to later spend so much of our money to try and recuperate our health.’ So true.” – Collete Davis, Professional Race Car Driver and Co-Founder of TechDrive

22) “When I was 18, I was a pretty angry kid. If I knew about meditation back then as I do now, I would have been able to train the mind to stay in the present moment and not let the outside environment cause me any difficulty. Meditation has taught me how to bring an intense level of concentration, focus, and passion to my work, while at the same time being able appreciate all the beauty in the world.” – Jeffrey Zlotnik, Founder of The Meditation Initiative

23) “I wish I’d focused more on creating habits and processes that made *the moment* better, rather than working for future outcomes. There were so many times when I punished my body — all-nighters, drugs, sitting and staring at screens all day — in the name of “tomorrow.” If I’d pulled my head up and actually worked in the moment, I would have preserved my body and sanity (and still achieved all those goals). I also would have been more bold. No apologies, no holding back.” – Charlie Hoehn, Keynote Speaker, Author of Play It Away, and Marketing Expert

24) “I wish I would have focused more on developing self-awareness in all areas of my life ranging from the activities that excited me to what worked and what didn’t. One of the things I realized over the years, is that the first step to improvement is awareness, which requires listening! Only then can we find a better path.” – Scott Britton, Founder of Life-Long Learner and The Competitive Edge Podcast

25) “I really believe that knowing one’s self can help you with everything in life, from how to achieve your own personal goals to working and communicating with others. I’ve found that understanding my Enneagram Type and also my Personal Insight Inventory from InColor Insight has helped me develop a foundation for improving my relationships and achieving my goals.” – Hiten Shah, Co-Founder of KISSMetrics

 

LIFESTYLE DESIGN

26) “What I would tell my younger self is that everything always works out. No matter what decision you make, everything always works out. No matter what direction you take, everything always works out. You may not know it at the time, but each and every time you look back, you will know in your heart that it’s true.” – Kym McNicholas, Emmy Award-Winning TV Personality and Executive Director, Extreme Tech Challenge

27) “I would have taken a one-year deferral on going to Columbia University, and asked my uncles whether I could go live with them and work in one of their new companies in New York or California. I had extended family doing really interesting things in venture capital and artificial intelligence, but I just never thought about capitalizing on those family connections and learning what I could about business and real life. If I’d have done that, I could have entered college with more maturity, ambition, and perspective.” – Dr. Geoffrey Miller, Associate Professor at The University of New Mexico

28) “I would have taken statistics in college, had more sex, and married rich. (In that order.)” – Nancy Lublin, CEO of DoSomething.org

29) “I would tell myself to embrace learning as the gateway to your possibilities. Mindfully pursue all forms of learning – both formal and informal – as a life-long journey and document your insights along the way. Take time to reflect on your life’s vision and purpose and pivot and reinvent yourself as needed to realize your aspirations.” – Sophie Vlessing, Senior VP of Strategy and Innovation at Kaplan

30) “Base your life on integrity, character and accountability. Your destiny is what YOU make it. Live each day with courage. Take pride in your work. Always finish what you start. Do what has to be done. Be tough when you have to, but be fair. When you make a promise, keep it. Remember that some things aren’t for sale. Learn from your mistakes. When you’re wrong, admit it and move on.” – Frank Shankwitz, Founder of the Make-A-Wish Foundation and RippleEffect.org

 

RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING

31) “The teaching most beautifully taught to me by my friend and mentor Annie Lalla-Pagan is that falling in love and doing whatever it takes to stay there is the surest path to self actualization/enlightenment. If I were to teach my 18 yr old self anything, it would be specifically to take the path of gratitude and intimacy.” – Anthony David Adams, Co-Founder of PRMatch.com

32) “Much of my success has been the result of surrounding myself with good people-many of whom I met simply by asking if they’d get a cup of coffee with me. I wish I’d started asking at 18 rather than 22!” – Megan Gebhart, Author of 52 Cups of Coffee

33) “As Charlie ‘Tremendous’ Jones has shared…’We are the same today as we will be in five years except for the people we meet and the books we read.’ Surround yourself with winners and you’ll become one too. Place positive and encouraging information in our minds and again, we absorb that wisdom.” – Greg S. Reid, NYT Bestselling Author and World-Renowned Speaker

34) “At 55 years of age, having spent most of my working life in the spotlight, whether in front of a camera, on film sets, or on stage, most people find it hard to believe that I was once very shy. It was hard for me to connect with others and it didn’t really seem to matter at the time. After I started working as a entrepreneur in my late 30’s, I realized just how important the creation of relationships (whether with family, friends or in a working environment) would be. I would let me 18 year old self know just how important healthy, close-knit, and sharing relationships are for your mental and emotional well-being.” – Clarissa Burt, Clarissa Burt International

35) “If I could have taught myself one thing at eighteen years old to create a better foundation for my future success, it would have been to put myself out there and make as many connections to people as possible. The more connections and good impressions made, the more job offers and opportunities you receive. I would have also taught myself not to just make these connections, but to attempt to sustain them as well.” – Mariah Spears, Top 20 Finalist on So You Think You Can Dance Season 10

36) “Personally, I would have loved to learn the art of psychic income (when you do things for other people as a gift with no thought of return) and relationship-building before 18 so I could leverage relationships with mentors who would have changed my life earlier. I would have loved to have read Napoleon Hill’s Think & Grow Rich and all of Earl Nightingale’s trainings as well.” – Patrick Carney, The Artiste

38) “When it comes to relationship-building…1) Love yourself. 2) Forgive yourself (and others). 3) Focus on what you want out of your partner, not what you don’t want, and frame it as though you have it NOW. Everything is energy, and you get what you focus on. 4) If you have a relationship that ends or one that you were hopeful about that ended up not lasting, don’t let your disappointment get the best of you. 5) Learn about trust, commitment, and surrender. 6) Give all you have. 7) Receive all that is given. 8) Have lots of great sex! If you don’t yet know how, figure it out!!!” – Ben Rode, Co-Founder of Explosive Sexual Healing

39) “Early in adult life, many of us expect to find “the one” life partner that will instinctively address our desires and comfort our sorrows..Such soul mates are like unicorns, almost real, difficult to encounter, impossible to capture. Sometimes brief moments in a loving relationship can be most impactful among our lifetime of experiences. The quality of a relationship can’t be measured by how long it lasts; relationship quality is measured by loving intensity in melding of souls, if even for a touch, glance, or a moment. That moment can impact our whole lifetime. After 17, I learned a truth: love, life, and relationships are moments.” – Reese Jones, Venture Strategist, Associate Founder at Singularity University

40) “When I was 18, I was a poor kid from Pittsburgh heading to Yale, not feeling I fit in even before I arrived. I was ashamed of my background and felt others wouldn’t accept me for who I was. I would have coached me in the following ways: 1) Take a couple people into your confidence who you feel you can trust and share deeply with and let them ‘have your back.’ 2) Put a relationship action plan together and don’t forget your peers…spend more time earning the respect and building the long term relationships with the exceptional people who will grow up with you to change the world. 3) Learn how to love. You spent your young life looking for sex and trophies who you thought helped you feel good about yourself. Make intimacy a priority and if that means preserving yourself, your time, and your sexuality for those you love and waiting till you figure that out, that’s OK. 4) Spend more time getting to know your dad and being open with him. You are not going to have him much longer.” – Keith Ferrazzi, NYT Bestselling Author of Never Eat Alone and Who’s Got Your Back?, and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight

 

AND MORE…

41) “My only regrets in life, both professionally and personally, is when I was not loyal or truthful to the people who helped me along the way. If I had done what was taught to me as a child throughout my life, things would have gone much easier.” – Bill Allen, Author of My Rad Career and Hollywood Actor

42) “All things considered, I couldn’t ask for a better experience in my 36 years. But we are living in a globalized era, despite the fact that many people never see beyond their corner of the world. At 18 again, I would travel and immerse myself in as many cultures as possible so that I could understand people and economies more fully later in life” – Ted Alling, Partner at Lamp Post Group

43) “I would have asked my 18-year-old self about lessons to teach my 13-year-old self, and then followed them. One would have been that it’s more important to be respected than liked. Another would be to do fewer magic tricks, because some people think magicians are creepy.” – Adam M. Grant, Ph.D. Wharton Professor and author of Give and Take

44) “When I was 18, I was busy learning a variety of skills, some of which ended up being helpful while others ended up being useless. This is fairly normal, I think. But in addition to learning skills, I also felt pretty unconfident and insecure about a lot of things. So if I could have go back and teach myself something, I don’t think it would be a specific skill; it would be more of a pep talk. I’d say, ‘Hey, 18-year-old self, keep working on stuff. Someday you’ll make something that matters to people. It’s okay if you get frustrated, but don’t hate yourself and don’t be unkind to others just because you don’t always see the path that lies ahead.’ Oh, I might also bring myself back a fake ID from the future. It would have made a few other things easier.” – Chris Guillebeau, NYT Bestselling Author and Founder of The Art of Non-Conformity

45) “I would have told myself to embrace fear. Fear isn’t always a sign of danger; sometimes it’s an internal reminder that you’re lacking a skill or knowledge that you need. The most powerful, inspirational people learn to use it as fuel rather than letting it restrain them or cause them to want to limit the success of others. I’m inspired by people who seize the alarm that fear provides and refuse to let it stop them from growing, learning, and standing for the things in which they believe.” – Seth Rogin, Chief Revenue Officer of Mashable

46) “Having made a wealth of mistakes in my life, it is interesting that you ask about what I would tell myself at 18 because what I did at 18 was the smartest thing I ever did and would unequivocally recommend it to any 18-year old. I spent two years living in Argentina as a volunteer for my church. While not everyone feels a connection to a faith, I would encourage everyone to spend a year or two at that age volunteering for a cause you believe in. Nothing will build a stronger foundation for your future than the growth you’ll make devoting yourself to serving others.” – Devin Thorpe, Champion of Social Good

– – –

I feel so fortunate to have shared these amazing individuals’ words of advice with you, and, as previously mentioned, this collective modern-day “foundation for success” will become my curriculum as I embark on The Gap Year Experiment. Head on over to the newly launched site to receive more words of advice and follow the ultimate learning journey I am undergoing in order to help you take control of your own education.

Thank you, and cheers to your success!

 

(BONUS POINTS: “Comment” below with your favorite lessons from above, and share your thoughts after hearing what Tony Hsieh, the Founder of UGGs, pro athletes, and others have to say about establishing a foundation for future success!)

Jared Kleinert is an entrepreneur, TED and keynote speaker, and award-winning author who’s been named USA Today's "Most Connected Millennial" after spending years identifying and connecting hundreds of the world's smartest and most talented Millennials. His next book 3 Billion Under 30 is out now, and you can get 5 free stories from his new book atwww.3billionunder30.com. You can also say hi at jared@3billionunder30.com.

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Success Advice

Microlearning: The Journey from Brief Knowledge to Enormous Learning Results

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

In contemporary society, traditional learning formats are being complemented by microlearning. Many people struggle to maintain their attention during long lectures, courses, or webinars. As a result, many individuals are moving towards microlearning formats. This new, modern approach is based on short, concise chunks of knowledge. These chunks can be absorbed in just a few minutes and effectively applied in practice.

This new learning model is applicable in all areas, from corporate training to self-improvement. The main goals of microlearning are quick, relevant learning at a convenient time.

The Concept of Microlearning

Microlearning is a recent approach that consists of breaking material into small and self-contained units of knowledge (modules). Each unit is no longer than 10 minutes, solves a specific problem, or teaches a single skill.

Examples include:

  • Short video instructions
  • Flashcards with quizzes or tests
  • Mini-guides in chat format
  • Interactive simulators
  • An AI assistant that explains a single concept

In many cases, students and learners do not need to read everything or reread a whole book or document, but rather can use a book summarizer, or an AI tool to extract important information in that chapter, and receive everything they need to know within 5 minutes.

Microlearning is not meant to replace education. Its primary goal is to facilitate integrating education into our everyday lives.

Why Microlearning Is Popular

This format’s popularity is growing rapidly. New micro learning apps are appearing, AI assistants and tools for quickly summarizing large volumes of information are being developed, and so on.

This rapid popularization of microlearning is due to several factors:

  • Information overload
  • Decreased attention span
  • The need to learn on the go
  • The digitalization of work
  • Mobile learning
  • AI development
  • Modernization of learning automation

Modern people value not just knowing a lot, but knowing exactly what’s useful right now. Microlearning fits this philosophy perfectly. You can learn accurately, quickly, and with practical application thanks to a modern microlearning solution accessible to everyone.

The Scientific Basis of Microlearning Principles

Microlearning isn’t just a passing fad. It’s the result of rigorous research in cognitive psychology and learning theory. Scientists claim that the human brain processes and remembers information better and more effectively if it is:

  • Broken down into small, logical chunks
  • Repeated at regular intervals
  • Accompanied by practice
  • Reinforced with feedback

A modern approach to learning not only improves the retention of material but also increases a person’s motivation to learn. Seeing how learning produces quick results creates the effect of small victories. And so, you want to move forward, master new material, and reach new heights.

The Combination of Microlearning and Modern Technologies

When studying microlearning examples, it’s important to emphasize that this method is perfectly combined with modern technologies. Thanks to AI platforms, this format has become not just trendy but extremely effective.

First, artificial intelligence allows for adapting learning material to a person’s current level of knowledge. Second, AI assistants analyze current progress and generate personalized recommendations. Third, AI can transform large texts into short learning units to create microlearning content and utilize it most effectively.

The example of the AI book chapter summarizer confirms that this tool creates concise and structured summaries from book chapters. This is the ideal and most optimal data format for microlearning. AI is gradually becoming an increasingly effective learning partner. These platforms don’t simply provide necessary information; they help transform it into action and improve understanding.

Microlearning Use Cases

In practice, microlearning already touches many areas of human activity. We can highlight the most popular ones.

  • Corporate training. Microlearning is in high demand in companies due to accelerated onboarding, upskilling, and training of employees in new technologies. Using short and interactive lessons, staff can complete courses without interrupting their workflow or current tasks.
  • Online courses and EdTech. Specialized platforms allow microlearning as a primary format. This allows users to learn sequentially, gradually, and without being overwhelmed.
  • Co-learning. Microlearning is an ideal tool for personal development. It can be used to learn new languages, develop writing skills, do data analysis, and much more. Even watching 5-minute tutorials every day can quickly create a learning habit.

Therefore, micro learning is rapidly gaining popularity and can serve as an effective alternative to traditional teaching methods.

Key Benefits of Microlearning

There are several key advantages of this new learning format:

  • Rapid information acquisition. Our brains absorb new information better in short blocks than in longer lectures.
  • Higher motivation. Each mini-lesson represents a small goal or task to be accomplished. Quickly hitting a goal spikes motivation.
  • Easier access and flexibility. Each learner gets to choose when and how to experience their training — in the morning with a cup of coffee, on the way to work, before bed, etc.
  • Customization. AI tools can help make content personalized in a way that accounts for a person’s rate, interests, and current level of knowledge.
  • Better productivity. The knowledge gained from mini-lessons can be put into practice faster and with minimal effort.

Clearly, the modern microlearning format offers significant advantages and opens up excellent prospects for self-development and the rapid acquisition of new skills.

Common Mistakes in Implementing Microlearning

Although this teaching method appears simple, a carefully thought-out structure is crucial. People often make the same mistakes.

First, topics are too superficial without context. Second, there are no connections between lessons. This results in lost learning. A third common mistake is overloading content without systematic repetition. And a fourth problem is undervaluing feedback. It’s important for people to see results.

Final Thoughts

Microlearning provides us with a chance to completely restructure our concept of conventional learning. This is because learning is much more natural, flexible, and tailored than ever. However, most importantly, we have an opportunity to learn new facts and information in the fast-paced world of modernity. The level of AI and analytics has resulted in microlearning being more personalized and accessible to everyone.

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Success Advice

What to do when you have already made it and feel stuck

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

Life often feels finished. That is usually when it starts costing you.

Last week I spoke with a man who seems to have it figured out. A nice business, a team that does not need him in every meeting, the house sorted, a wife who still likes him, which is more than a lot of the men I talk to can say. Halfway through he went quiet and admitted he feels like he is managing a life he signed up for ten years ago. Not miserable. Done growing. A little embarrassed to say it, because what is he supposed to complain about.

The scoreboard does not notice

I knew the feeling before he finished the sentence. Addicted2Success started as a blog in Perth when I was young enough to think the answer to everything was more output. It worked. The site grew, the audience grew, the coaching grew, and for a long time the scoreboard was kind enough to tell me I was on the right track. What it never does is send a note when you have started hiding. You can be posting, closing, travelling, and saying true things on the internet while becoming a slightly smaller man than you were two years ago. Nobody around you is going to flag it. They are responding to the results, and results only show what you already pulled off, not what the last year has been doing to you.

The men in these conversations are not stuck at the starting line. They have the income, the title, the reputation. Under it, a low-grade sense that they have been repeating themselves. The advice they grew up on does not touch that. Wake up earlier. Want it more. Outwork the room. I gave a version of that advice for years, and some of it was fair when someone had not started. It is useless once the room already knows your name. Past a certain point, more effort just maintains the life you have already outgrown.

It looks like leadership

When they are honest, it is ordinary. They are carrying the whole thing alone, not because nobody would help, but because letting someone close enough to challenge them would mean admitting a few decisions have gone soft. So they stay the smartest person in their own week. That feels like leadership. It functions like a closed loop. I did a long stretch of this. If someone disagreed with me I could usually out-talk them, and I mistook that for being right. The business did not collapse, which is what makes it hard to catch. Things can be working while you remain basically unaccountable. A lot of the signs people read as failure are the early version of this.

Home gets what is left

Work got the sharp hours. My wife got the man who had already spent the best of himself on a laptop. You can narrate that as provision for a long time. Tell yourself you are building something for them. Some days that is even true. It still does not change what they receive, which is a tired person who needs the room to be quiet. It holds until you have a kid who does not care what you shipped, or until you lose someone and realise the hours were never coming back. After Harper I stopped being able to treat time like something I could earn more of. Fatherhood finished whatever argument I had left. My son does not experience my ambition. He experiences whether I was in the room. He cannot tell the difference between a father who is building a legacy and a father who is on his phone. Neither can yours.

Reasonable is how it gets boring

Then there is the comfort, which everyone dresses up as wisdom. You postpone the move. You keep the offer that is fine. You say you are being strategic when you are mostly avoiding the feeling of being a beginner again. The edge does not vanish in a week. It goes over a year of reasonable decisions, and reasonable is how a lot of good lives get boring. I have watched men research a change for a year and a half. A new model, a new city, a new standard at home. The research becomes the thing they do instead of the change. It feels responsible. It has notes.

I used to have a clean system for this. It looked good in a carousel. What actually changed things was smaller and more annoying, and it only worked when I got specific.

Write the sentence you would not post

Not “I need better balance.” That is a sentence you can hide in. One line, the way you would say it if nobody was going to screenshot it. I am building in public and going missing at home. I have known this offer is done and I keep running it because the cash is easy. I have not let anyone challenge me since the last person who did, and I pushed them out. Put it where you will see it. The point is to stop negotiating with a foggy version of the problem. You cannot fix a foggy version. You will just buy another course about it.

Look at that sentence when you are not already fried. I wasted years making big calls late, after a full day of other people’s needs, then wondering why I always chose the option that protected the current setup. You are not wise when you are depleted. You are conservative. Pick a pocket of time this week when you still have a brain, phone in another room, and ask what you are protecting by leaving it as it is, and what it costs the people who do not get a vote in your calendar. If you catch yourself performing the answer, like you are drafting a caption, delete it and start again.

Take back one hour that has a name

Not a new morning routine. Men at this stage love a routine, because a routine feels like progress and does not threaten the life. Pick a repeatable hour that is already losing and give it a job. Dinner with the phone in a drawer. A walk with your wife where you do not steer it back to the business. Time with your kid before the laptop opens. The tactic is the boundary, not the activity. Tell one person what the hour is. If you miss it, you tell them the same day, without a story. The story is how it dies. A client emergency three weeks in a row is the old life collecting its rent. Being the person who agrees is how that hour gets given away before you notice.

Have the conversation, then date the move

There is almost always a conversation you have been drafting. A spouse you have been managing instead of talking to. A partner you have been working around. A number you have not said out loud, because saying it makes the next move real. Do not workshop it into a speech. Two sentences of what you have been avoiding, then stop talking long enough for them to answer. The men who stay stuck are usually eloquent about the problem and silent in the room where it could change. Eloquence is a delay tactic I have used plenty.

Then date the move that makes the current income nervous, and put it sooner than feels comfortable. One move. Kill the offer, raise the price, hire the person, have the hard no, book the conversation you have been waiting on the right week for. If it needs more than a couple of weeks of preparation, you are probably preparing past the point of usefulness. Let it be clumsy. The old identity will have a very reasonable case for why this stretch is not the one. It always does. It has been getting paid to keep things as they are.

You need one person who is not impressed

None of that works alone, which is inconvenient, since alone is the setup that got you here. You need one person who is not impressed by you. Not a mastermind. Not an audience. Not a coach you are performing progress for. Someone who can ask whether the phone actually stayed in the drawer, and who will not clap if the answer is no. Most of the men I know have plenty of people who benefit from them staying impressive. Employees, followers, friends who like the version that has it together. Almost nobody who is allowed to interrupt it. Ask someone specific if you can send them one sentence about whether you did the thing. If you do not send it, they chase you. That is the whole agreement. If you cannot think of a person, that is not a small detail. That is the closed loop, and finding the person is the first move.

I am not interested in telling you to burn the life down. A lot of what you built is worth keeping. The business can stay. The standard has to change, or you will spend the next ten years maintaining a life you already know you are done growing inside. What I care about is whether the man who benefits from it can still sit at the table with the people who paid for it. Your wife. Your kids. Whatever you say you believe when the content needs a spine. If those do not survive the win, the win was just a very well-paid way of leaving.

You already know which of these you have been talking yourself out of. Start with the sentence. The rest gets easier to see once you stop describing the problem in a way that lets you keep it.

In this video I speak about how you may be keeping yourself stuck in high achiever patterns and what you can do to change it:

 

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Success Advice

Icarus Syndrome: How to Catch Yourself When Success Comes Crashing Down

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

You know the story. A guy gets wings made of feathers and wax, dad tells him not to fly too close to the sun, guy ignores dad, wings melt, guy falls into the sea. Classic.

But here’s the thing about Icarus. He didn’t crash because he failed. He crashed because he was doing so well.

That’s the part we don’t talk about enough.

What Icarus Syndrome Actually Looks Like

Icarus Syndrome isn’t some official diagnosis you’ll find in a medical textbook. It’s more of a pattern. And once you spot it, you start seeing it everywhere.

Picture this: someone lands the promotion they’ve been chasing for years. Suddenly they’re saying yes to everything. More projects, more travel, more risk. The confidence that got them there starts to tip over into something else. Overreach, maybe. A bit of arrogance. That quiet voice that used to say “hang on, is this a good idea?” goes strangely silent.

And then it all comes tumbling down.

The tricky bit is that success and self-destruction can look almost identical from the outside. Both involve ambition. Both involve pushing hard. The difference is usually invisible until it’s too late.

Why Winning Can Set You Up to Lose

Ever noticed how a winning streak makes people a little reckless? There’s actually a reason for that.

When things go well, our brains get a hit of confidence that doesn’t always match reality. We start believing our own hype. The wins feel like proof that we can’t lose, which is exactly the moment we’re most likely to.

Turns out, success shrinks your awareness. You stop questioning yourself. You stop listening to feedback because, well, look at all this evidence that you’re right. The people who used to challenge your thinking? You might start tuning them out.

The other day someone told me they’d made their worst decisions not when they were struggling, but when everything was going great. That stuck with me. Because it makes a weird kind of sense.

Struggle keeps you humble. Success can make you forget.

The Warning Signs Worth Watching For

So how do you catch yourself before the wax starts dripping?

It usually starts small. You notice you’re brushing off advice you’d normally take seriously. You’re taking on more than you can realistically handle, but telling yourself you’ve got it. You feel a bit untouchable, like the normal rules don’t apply to you anymore.

Sleep goes out the window. You’re running on adrenaline and calling it drive.

And maybe the biggest one: you stop asking for help because asking for help feels like admitting you’re not as on top of things as everyone thinks.

This part’s a bit uncomfortable, but the very traits that fuel success, the ambition, the drive, the refusal to quit, are the same ones that can quietly steer you off a cliff. Same wings, different outcome.

Pulling Yourself Back From the Sun

Okay, so what do you actually do about it?

First, get honest about the story you’re telling yourself. Are you flying high because things are genuinely solid, or because you’ve stopped checking? There’s a difference, and only you can tell which one it is.

Keep people around who’ll tell you the truth. Not the yes-people who clap at everything, but the ones who’ll gently say “mate, are you sure about this?” Those people are worth their weight in gold, and they get rarer the more successful you become.

Slow down enough to notice how you’re actually feeling. Success can mask burnout for a surprisingly long time. You feel great right up until you don’t.

And look, sometimes catching yourself isn’t something you can do alone. If you’re feeling stretched thin, if the pressure of keeping it all up is starting to weigh on you, talking to someone helps more than people expect. Getting proper psychological support in Western Sydney or wherever you are isn’t a sign you’re falling apart. It’s usually a sign you’re paying attention.

Flying Smart Instead of Flying High

Here’s the thing Icarus never got told. The problem was never the flying. It was the ignoring.

His dad gave him a middle path. Not too high, not too low. He just got carried away.

You can enjoy your success without letting it make you stupid. You can keep climbing without pretending you’re invincible. The trick is staying awake to yourself, especially when everything looks like it’s going right.

Because that’s exactly when the sun feels closest.

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Success Advice

Quick and Meaningful Ways to Do Charity

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

Finding time to give back can feel overwhelming. Many people want to help others but think it takes a lot of time and planning. The truth is, simple, effective ways to support charity fit into busy lives. Whether you have a few minutes or a couple of hours, you can make a positive impact in your community. Helping others benefits those in need and gives you a sense of fulfilment and connection.

First, understand that charitable efforts can be quick and meaningful. You don’t need to organize a big event or donate a lot of money to make a difference. Small actions can make significant changes in others’ lives. Here are some ways to show generosity today.

Food Bank Donations

One of the simplest ways to help is by donating to a food bank. A food bank donation helps people facing food insecurity by redistributing surplus food and providing healthy meals. When you donate, you nourish someone’s day and ease their burden.

Local food banks often rely on donations from individuals and businesses. You can donate non-perishable items or fresh produce from your garden. If that’s not possible, consider making a monetary donation, which food banks can use to buy the needed food items. Every contribution counts and helps ensure families receive meals.

Volunteering your time at a local food bank is another great way to get involved. Many food donation organizations need help sorting donations, packing food boxes, or distributing meals. This hands-on work lets you see the positive impact of your efforts. You can also build friendships with staff and other volunteers as you work toward shared goals.

No-Cost Options

Charity doesn’t always have to cost money. You can donate your skills or time. If you’re good at graphic design or enjoy writing, your expertise can support local nonprofits’ outreach efforts. You might create promotional materials, manage social media, or offer training sessions.

Another no-cost option is to share charitable organizations on your social media. Inform friends and family about the causes you care about. Increased visibility can lead to more donations and volunteers. Sometimes, raising awareness matters as much as giving money.

Used Goods Donations

Decluttering your home is a great way to support charity. Look around. What items do you no longer use? Clothing, household goods, and toys can help someone in need. Local shelters, thrift stores, and nonprofits often welcome gently used items. By clearing out what you don’t need, you can provide useful items to those who can’t afford them.

You can enhance this experience by organizing a donation drive in your community. Involve friends and neighbours to gather more items together. This can become a fun community event that promotes giving.

Random Acts of Kindness

Doing random acts of kindness each day is an easy way to help others. Simple actions, like buying someone a coffee, leaving a nice note, or helping a neighbour carry groceries, can spread goodwill. These acts not only brighten someone’s day but also promote kindness in your community.

Try setting a goal to do a certain number of kind acts each week. This can become a good habit that changes how you interact with others. It doesn’t matter how big or small the act is. What matters is the intention behind it.

Skill-Based Volunteering

Using your professional skills to help a charity can foster personal growth while supporting those in need. Whether you are a teacher, marketer, lawyer, or accountant, your skills can greatly benefit nonprofits. Many nonprofits need help in areas where they can’t afford to hire professionals.

Some food donation organizations specifically seek volunteers with certain skills, so look for a nonprofit that matches your background. You can create change by using your expertise and meet others who share your interests.

Getting involved in charitable activities allows you to help create a better world. The good news is you don’t need much time or money to make a difference. Whether you volunteer at a local food bank, donate items, or do random acts of kindness, your efforts can lead to real change. These small actions can bring great fulfillment, improving not just the lives of those you help but your own, too.

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