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Time to Get Mushy: Why Emotions Will Help You Succeed at Work

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We have always believed that we need to be smart, well-organized, hard-working and tough negotiators to be successful at work. However, has anyone told you to rely on your emotions for success? The answer is probably not since most people tend to believe emotions only get in the way.

However, it is scientifically proven today that the intelligence is only one puzzle piece in the picture of success: your intelligence and hard-working ethics will earn you a promotion at work or a salary increase only when combined with your high integrity, self-esteem, self-awareness, empathy, self-regulation and great social skills, or to sum up, emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify and effectively manage your own and other people’s emotions. Many academic studies over the past decades demonstrated the power of emotional intelligence, and it is now considered the core ingredient of personal and professional success.

EQ includes our self-awareness (knowing our own feelings), self-management (controlling our feelings), motivation, empathy (the skill of understanding other people’s emotions and reacting to them appropriately) and our social skills (negotiating the needs of others with your own and applying empathy).

These skills empower us to accurately assess our emotional triggers and abilities, control our emotional reactions, constructively resolve conflicts, set achievable goals and effectively manage relationships with other people. It’s not your IQ, but your EQ that will make your career skyrocket and your salary reach figures you only dreamt about. But how?

Emotional Fitness and Work Success

According to a research by the Carnegie Institute of Technology, we owe some 85% of our financial success to our people skills such as our ability to communicate, negotiate and act as leaders. In other words, they found that our emotional intelligence skills are highly related to our financial success.

The ability to stay calm and in control of your emotions in challenging situations is greatly valued in everyday life and in business as well. Are you able to keep your emotions under control when things don’t go your way? Can you take responsibility for your actions and predict other people’s actions most of the time? Can you apologize directly when you hurt someone’s feelings, no matter how uncomfortable you might feel? If your answer to these questions is yes, then you may be on a good road to become an exceptional leader.

How to Boost Your Emotional Fitness

Emotional fitness is a key to your career success. Being emotionally fit means that you are able to focus on constructive and creative tasks. It also represents the ability to accept negative feelings and stay in control of them. However, the same way we need regular exercise to stay physically fit, we need a certain practice to boost our emotional intelligence as well.

Use the 4 tips below to improve your EQ and keep emotionally fit:

1. Be Giving

Our personality and thereby our emotional intelligence involves two parts: identity (how we see ourselves) and reputation (how other people see us). Rewarding people tends to be seen as friendly, trusting and cooperative. Others also perceive them as unselfish, proactive and willing to share their knowledge and resources. Whether it is business or personal relationships, everyone likes to be around people who are supportive, eager to help, easy to get along with and can be trusted.

Nobel Prize winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman found that people would rather do business with a person they like and trust than someone they don’t, even though the other person is offering a better product and a lower price.

Both, seeing yourself and being seen as a rewarding, valuable person by others has a power to boost your confidence, improve your communication and negotiation skills and help you climb the corporate ladder successfully.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Visualization

A great way to get promoted at work is to show you do not get upset easily and prove you can stay composed when not everything goes according to plan. Try to come up with different imaginary scenarios requiring you to use your EQ skills and work out the possible solutions to them.

For instance, imagine that you are a company manager that needs to terminate a certain number of employees. Stay focused on your emotions and try to apply the best emotional fitness skills to solve this unpleasant situation. How do you react?

Practicing your EQ skills this way will increase your self-esteem, help you gain control over your emotions and boost your social skills. There is even a game where you can learn and practice your people skills.

3. Empathy

Practice your empathy whenever you get a chance. Listen to people actively, putting prejudices and interpretations aside. Try to take up a contrary position in everyday communication especially when dealing with conflicts.

For example, if you think that your teammate is being unreasonable, try defending their position in your head. How do things look from their perspective? Understanding how other people feel is key to having empathy and a sure road to sustainable success.

“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” – Alfred Adler

4. Remember to Be Grateful

If you ask emotionally fit people about the things they are grateful for, they will undoubtedly be able to come up with a long list. Practice a gratitude exercise every morning. After you get up, write down a list of things you are grateful for. This will keep you positive and motivated throughout the day.

You could also count your blessings before you go to sleep. Remember your subconscious mind believes whatever you tell it, so imprinting the positive thoughts into your subconscious is a great way to boost your confidence, self-awareness, motivation and happiness. Our brain cannot store all the information we receive, but you can be in control of what your brain stores. Keep that in mind.

The experience and studies proved that individuals with highly developed emotional intelligence tend to be more successful in all areas of life, personal and business-wise. Nurturing your emotional fitness, you will have the power to accomplish your goals, improve your career and build up your relationships. In short, this will help you to lead a happy and successful life.

How do you use your emotional intelligence on a daily basis? Share with us some of your tips!

Silja Litvin is a psychologist, founder and CEO of PsycApps Digital Mental Health and developer of eQuoo – the Emotional Fitness Game. Her company uses AI, gamification and psychology to help people help themselves.

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8 Essential Qualities That Define Great Leadership

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Who is a leader? How do you identify and differentiate between a leader and a follower? The difference is quite obvious since a leader leads and a follower follows. However, there is more to it than this simple definition. (more…)

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How to Be Patient in Business for Long Term Success

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There’s perhaps no greater skill in business than patience. Some people have it while some people don’t. However, it can easily decide your success. Why is this? For the simple fact that everything that’s worthwhile takes years to cultivate. Name one person that’s an overnight success. There’s no such thing. It doesn’t matter if it was Steve Jobs or Warren Buffett, every successful entrepreneur hustled behind the scenes for years until they blew up. (more…)

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Coaching Yourself Into Success: 3 Mindful Points That Accelerate Results

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Coaching yourself through your day is an outstanding way to dramatically improve your results. Of course, all types of coaching are good, but getting high-power coaching from top coaches is incredibly good and can take things beyond your wildest expectations. However, having coaches like that with you, constantly checking your mindset throughout your day, is either going to be hugely inconvenient for your work and relationships. (more…)

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Why It’s So Important To Break Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

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Fear of Snakes

So I completed a Snake Handling course 6 years ago and during the final test of the course, we were asked to capture and bag 5 of Australia’s Deadliest snakes in a small confined room. The room had a Tiger Snake, Dugite, King Brown, Death Adder and a Red-Bellied Black Snake all slithering around at the same time. I couldn’t believe what I had got myself into.

Snakes were one of the biggest fears of mine. I would imagine a snake running underneath my feet from time to time and I would actually bring my feet up off the floor to avoid getting entangled or bitten by these imaginary snakes I had created in my mind. I would even have nightmares about snakes biting me and it would wake me up in sweats in the middle of the night.

I could have never imagined doing this in my life but I did it because I knew that I had to get passed this ridiculous fear I had of snakes, and I am grateful I was able to show up for it.

Checkout this podcast episode where I share how You can Master your Sub Conscious Programming around your fears in 2 Steps:

While attending this course, the subject of Fear was brought up and the presenter asked a number of people:

 

“What Are Your Top 5 Fears?”

– Public Speaking

– Cancer

– Sharks

– Snakes

– Heights

Were at the top of the list for most people.

 

The instructor carried on with a story of how he had just arrived back from a trip to the Northern Territory of Australia to visit an aboriginal community where he had met a 7-year-old boy who was absolutely scared to death of spiders and the dark.

Killer crocodile fearIt did not matter what kind of spider it is, he was scared and that was that. This boy would hunt crocodiles and lizards but was scared of even the non-venomous spiders.

All he had learned from a very young age was that spiders are dangerous and that they WILL kill you, yet the crocodiles and snakes that the boy would play with and hunt for are by far more deadly than most spiders that your everyday human would come across.

He was taught between the crucial years of 1-6 yrs old that the dark is full of evil happenings and that spiders are incredibly deadly and will kill him if he goes anywhere near them. So he was devastated to sleep in the dark and would jump on near by people just to get away from a spider nearby.

I’m not here to say that spiders aren’t dangerous, they are, and some out there have the potential to kill you. This boy was right to be cautious around spiders but where he lacked knowledge, or the right information about these creatures, eventually left him fearful of something he had never really understood.

This boy is just an example of many other people out there that are limited by their fears because of the little that they know. The less you know, the more fearful you are. This is only human and we are naturally scared of the unknown.

So the key thing here is we need more “KNOWLEDGE!” and it is in our best interest to want to understand how things work if we want to become less fearful of what the wild and wonderful world we live in has to offer.

You have to “EXPERIENCE” things to have a better understanding of the activity or whatever it is you are most scared of.

Joel Brown Snakes Fear

Joel Brown – Certified Snake Handler

When you increase your knowledge you can grow to the level where your fear is set at, so when the two meet it creates a level called “RESPECT”.

This is the perfect level to be on because you will now have a respect for what you fear which will allow you to then work with it rather than being submissive and missing out on the wonderful feeling of successfully OWNING! the outer areas of your comfort zone.

Everybody has a fear of some sort and learning more about what you fear and even voyaging through your ‘un-comfortable zone‘ will prepare you for the hard knocks in life on your road to success.

 

I have a few more fears to conquer myself and I am happy to say that I have crossed ‘Snakes’ and a number of other top things off my list. I’m sharing this story with you in hopes that you too will face at least one or two of your fears. Not to say that “you did it“, but to prove that you can outgrow your own personal limitations.

Your fears could be holding you back, they could even be the final piece you need to experience a brand new lifestyle or a brave new world of fun.

 

So get out there, learn more and grow!

 

No matter the storm, may your Faith be stronger than your Fears – Joel Brown

 

 

Feature Image Original Source: Indiana Jones – Raiders Of The Lost Ark

 

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