What is that one quality which makes some people more successful than others? Could it be simple intelligence? Maybe. However, that doesn’t seem to be the whole story. According to recent studies, people of average IQ outperformed people with a high IQ.
Some say that Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a much more accurate predictor of success. Although EI is hard to define, there are some qualities that are typical of people with high Emotional Intelligence.
Here are 10 qualities that people with high emotional intelligence have:
1. Not a perfectionist
If you are emotionally intelligent, you know that perfection doesn’t exist. You reject frustration and sense of failure that accompany that constant striving for perfection. If you are aware that perfectionism will leave you hung up on shortcomings of others, as well as your own, you are emotionally mature. Striving to be perfect, you may be unable to enjoy your achievements.
2. You know your strengths and weaknesses
If your EI is of a high level, you know how to embrace your strengths and how to use them in such a way as to compensate for your weaknesses. At work and in your social life, you will deliberately choose situations which bring out your strengths so that you can succeed. Whenever possible, you will also choose friends and co-workers who play to your strengths and help you with your weaknesses.
“Over the years, I’ve learned that a confident person doesn’t concentrate or focus on their weaknesses – they maximize their strengths.” – Joyce Meyer
Your motivation comes from within and not from an external source. You do not require a reward to accomplish your goals because motivation comes from you. You are clear about your goals and you do not need reminders. Emotionally intelligent people are able to set tasks for themselves and work towards them on their own.
4. Have empathy for others
People with high emotional intelligence have a lot of empathy. That means you should be curious and genuinely interested in other people, have the ability to tune into body language and facial expressions to understand people’s emotions even without words.
Do you like asking questions to learn more about other people and their needs? If your answer is “no”, hurry up and learn to summarize what people tell you. Show your understanding. If your answer is “yes”, you must be an active listener which means your level of emotional intelligence is high.
5. You don’t focus on past mistakes
If you have high EI, you realize that there is nothing to be gained from holding on to the past. You are able to remember your mistakes well enough to learn from them, but you can keep them at a sufficient distance to avoid bogging down in negative memories and experiences. You realize that regret will hold you back from fully embracing the present.
6. Not easily distracted
You are able to be fully present in whatever tasks you’re doing. You focus on completing one task at a time and don’t allow other tasks or distractions to get in the way. You recognize the difference between multitasking and multi-focusing. You will not change your goals until they are accomplished. You are not derailed from your goals by things like social media or some negative thoughts.
7. Work-life balance
No matter how busy you are at work or at school, to be considered an emotionally intelligent person you have to recognize the importance of sparing time for some social life. You have good time management skills and realistic ideas of how long it will take you to accomplish things. You understand that you should work very hard to achieve success, but you also know that sometimes you have to be able to disconnect completely from work duties in order to recharge.
8. Know when to say no
Even though saying “no” may be difficult sometimes, you should know your limits and recognize that you can’t do everything. You don’t give into impulses. You don’t make any long-term commitments without thorough consideration first.
Emotionally intelligent people know how to give a vague response such as “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in situations that require immediate rejection. To be emotionally intelligent one should decide on priorities and be aware that by refusing some commitments you will be given a chance to fully focus on tasks you already have.
9. Don’t fear change
Emotionally intelligent people know that fear of changes will hold them back and prevent from achieving their goals. Change is necessary for professional growth, stimulation, and success. One should always be prepared for a change that comes along, and be flexible enough to adapt whenever necessary.
When life comes to a standstill for too long, don’t let it bore you. Look for some dynamic forces needed to foster creativity, life energy and that way show your emotional intelligence. Emotionally intelligent people have a positive attitude towards change and recognizes that it leads to better things.
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”- George Bernard Shaw
10. Know how to manage your emotions
Emotionally intelligent people are able to name their emotions and figure out why something upsets them in order to take some positive actions and improve the situation. They know that anger needs to be properly channeled and directed towards situations and events rather than people.
Approach every situation rationally keeping your emotions in check. Be confident and secure enough to not get offended over trivial things. If someone teases you about something, learn to brush it off and even laugh along with them.
If you are one of the lucky folks who have high Emotional Intelligence, congratulations! You are likely to succeed in whatever you put your mind to. If you feel that those features described above are not quite peculiar to you, think about stuff you should work on. Even taking some simple steps toward self-improvement could make a big difference and reveal your self-awareness which is a constituent of Emotional Intelligence.