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Success Advice

The 4 Major Things That Are Keeping You from Greatness

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holding you back from being great

As humans, we naturally have a high level of negative self talk going on that holds us a majority of us back from leaping into a future of success.

But what if that wasn’t the only thing holding us back?

What if there were a handful of other factors that are disabling us from moving closer to our goals?

We are all victims of these disempowering factors and we let them get us down at the best of times.

Today I will outline the 4 major things that are keeping you from greatness, so that you can be aware of them in order to remove them from your course towards success.

 

1. Lack of Vision…

A focused and purpose driven mentality is the defining difference between the successful and the mediocre. Every sane healthy person everywhere is born with the same amount of potential and ability. The only thing that will truly change someones outcome of success is their actions motivated by a focused vision.

If I asked you to walk into a room and find something as common and recognizable as a pencil I have little doubt the task could be completed within seconds. However, what if I asked you to accomplish the same task while closing your eyes. Unless you somehow developed a sixth sense of sonar this seemingly simple job would take several minutes, if not hours of stumbling around blindly and directionless, and it is still very likely that the pencil would remain unfound.

My point is this:

“We tend to get what we focus on, and what we don’t focus on, we don’t even come close to”.

The same principle is painstakingly true with our goals and dreams. We can talk about how we want to be rich, or how we dream of being successful and self-satisfied, however if we do not know what our dreams look like in specific detail, we will never reach our full potential.

It is imperative that you are consistently focusing on your goals, and visualizing what exactly your success should look like. It’s not enough to want to be wealthy, or to wish you were successful, you must set specific measurable goals that you can be constantly visualizing and achieving.

You cannot expect success if you don’t know what success looks like.

 

2. An Average Mentality…

To be average is to be nothing. The opposite of greatness is not failure, the opposite of greatness is mediocrity. To have an average mentality is to resign yourself to a life of unreached potential.

An average mindset is the most destructive type of mentality to have simply because it is fully accepted by our culture and no one will ever challenge you to expand your perspective and break out of that mediocre state ­of ­mind.

You are the only one who can challenge yourself to take on a bigger “think” and explore your full potential. The state of your vision or mentality will determine your level of activity and what you will be able to accomplish.

An average mentality produces an average lifestyle, but a focused goal­ setting mindset renders a self­ fulfilled life of accomplishing goals, and achieving massive success.

 

Think Big Picture Quote
 

3. Waiting till you feel like it…

Let’s get something perfectly clear when it comes to working towards accomplishing goals;

“You will never “always” feel like doing it”.

It doesn’t matter how passionate you are about the work you are doing, there will always be days where you do not feel like doing the labor. However it is crucial to know that if we only did things when we felt like doing them, our goals and aspirations would never become a reality.

The act of being productive can be extremely counterintuitive. It’s common to think that in order to start working toward achieving something you must feel motivated. In reality, the opposite is true.

The distinguished artist Pablo Picasso himself said:

“Inspiration exists, but it must find you working”.

We actually begin to feel motivated about doing something when we begin taking action and gaining some ground toward accomplishing a task. Once action is taken your mind develops a certain amount of commitment toward the goal and we start to feel passionate and motivated which spurs us on even further.

 

4. Listening to criticism…

As soon as you start taking massive action toward your goals and dreams you may receive criticism from the people around you, usually these people are your friends, and even your family.

Remember: it is expected and accepted to be average and ordinary, and as soon as you start taking massive action toward a dream you will stick out as odd, overly passionate, and maybe even obsessive, and the people around you may try to pull you back down to an average state.

Somewhere along the line, people will attack your ideas your dreams, and even you personally. Your reaction to their taunts and discouragement determines your level of success.

You can react to negative criticism in one of two different ways:

1. Retreat and succumb to the pressures of criticism, returning to an average state of being.

2. The less chosen option which is to react in a way that views criticism as proof that you are on the right track.

As crazy as it sounds the more you are criticized for your goals and your efforts toward achieving them, the more you increase your chances for success. It takes someone who is truly willing to move against the world’s way of thinking and what is accepted as normal to create something incredible of themselves.

 

Still not sold? Just look at what history has to say

Thomas Edison’s school professors used to tell him “he was too stupid to learn anything. He then went on to revolutionize the lifestyle of people everywhere, inventing world­ changing devices such as the phonograph, the lightbulb, and the movie camera.

During his early career, Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because “he lacked imagination, and had no good ideas”. He touched the lives of billions of children everywhere with his creativity and passion.

Steve Jobs was kicked out of his own tech company several times, and still he went on to develop and design some of the most influential technology products of the century.

Every great person was criticized before they were admired.

 

What has been holding you back from achieving your greatness? And what are you going to do about it from now on? I’d love to see your comments in the section below.

Aaron is a 19 year old passionate entrepreneur, consultant, avid speaker, and full-time student. Associated with several organizations geared toward professional development and youth empowerment, Aaron works to grow his own career and inspire others to achieve their full potential. Visit www.aaronhuie.com to learn more and contact Aaron directly.

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25 Comments

25 Comments

  1. Bertie

    Feb 15, 2016 at 4:29 pm

    For me, the biggest hurdle is to mantain the vision in the long term. I can begin a project with a very clearly defined picture of what I want it to be, but then there is the need to go through all the weary, tedious tasks needed to achieve the goal. And this is the most dangerous point. You begin to feel tired, bored and drained out of energy, and that clear initial vision begins to fade away, so you end up like lost in the forest. Are there any hints to deal with this state of mind?

  2. ankit soni

    Apr 15, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    Great

  3. bosede omisore

    Feb 16, 2015 at 2:48 pm

    what if you are faced with unseen circumstances . forces and all people can do is to pity you . you tried and tried and it seems nothing happened . you keep on stugling and struggling.
    even all the men of God you come in contact with told you that what you need is God special mercy and help. what can you do in such circumstances

  4. DP

    Jan 23, 2015 at 2:48 am

    Defining your vision is key. Without it, you have no direction. Good read!

  5. DP

    Jan 22, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    Good read. Letting doubt creep in is a momentum killer. Any time you spend moping and feeling bad about your situation is time not spent focusing on your goal. Forcing yourself to be positive in the face of adversity eventually becomes second nature and your brain starts to subconsciously guide you towards achievement. It focuses your body to work towards your goal, without you even knowing it. Your entire demeanor starts to change and the results start to follow.

    -DP

  6. Robinson Nkumba

    Jan 21, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    iam learning that to achieve something extra ordinary , i have to think outside the common box and am determined. I will achieve greatness no matter what!

  7. Harry

    Jan 19, 2015 at 3:38 am

    I don’t know how it happened , but my mum and dad wanted to throw a lavish birthday party for me . Everything went okay during that time , until the family video was released and I awoke to a cold truth. I had kyphosis and after seeing myself on camera was pretty much disgusted with myself . People at school and college used to call me hunchback and I can’t tell you how much that smashed into pieces . I told my mum please don’t show this to anyone , but instead she shared it with the whole world . I was also as a child played with by a white woman , I’m actually asian , which I think determines my sexuality today . And then with a white teacher who used to place the books on my crotch just to feel me .
    I have only ever had 1 or 2 not long lasting relationships with women , and maybe 2 or 3 potential other partners but I never shared that with them . I became addicted to cannabis for a long time , say 20 years . I have had long periods where I stopped . Now I think I have overcome that addiction , as well as alcohol through myself . I am blessed in some other ways but do get angry sometimes when I think about the past , and sometimes view the world as a white mans playground . I wanted to be one of those Hollywood type actors when I was young . I told Steve at the end of the day we are all products of environment , circumstance , genes and society and even if you become Mr or misses action tomorrow and be successful that theory will always hold true . Im fortunate to have my own house and car through some family work and generosity from my parents .
    All I want to do now is become Mr muscle while I am trying to find the right goals for me , and I want a beautiful wife and also children in the future . The only thing I have to quit now is tobacco . We all need to make smarter choices , but can’t punish ourselves Everytime we get it wrong .

  8. prisca

    Jan 16, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    I so much enjoyed this article. Thanks.

  9. RAGHAV KALRA

    Jan 11, 2015 at 4:51 pm

    Thanx Emily.

  10. RAGHAV KALRA

    Jan 11, 2015 at 7:02 am

    But if we have all the solutions and resources…then there is still a big enemy known as PROCRASTINATION. I think if we want to overcome it we need to think more about the positive outcomes of the impossible task( which is in our mind).

    • Emily Filloramo

      Jan 11, 2015 at 4:21 pm

      Raghav,

      Procrastination is a protective mechanism that keeps us from taking the steps to achieving our greatness.

      This is a part of us that is afraid of success. It’s afraid of success because it is stuck in some memory from the past (from authority figures and the school) that has us believe that it is not safe to be in the spotlight of success. That’s why we procrastinate.

      In order to overcome procrastination, again, as I’ve said in the comments below, the flashlight must shine into the dark corners of our minds and release the burdens and limiting beliefs that were acquired from significant emotional events. This will erase the negative self-talk for good and stop procrastination all together.

      Hope this explanation helps. It’s not you that’s procrastinating, it’s your parts from the past. -Emily

  11. William

    Jan 11, 2015 at 12:18 am

    Great article, but Thomas Edison was a sadistic psychopath who loved torturing animals. I definitely do not admire him. He thought the crying and yelping sounds animals made was no different that a machine squeaking.

  12. Keith Rozairo

    Jan 10, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    Right on Raghav! The more I read these posts and the comments, the more it steels me to achieve.
    Cheers

  13. Elizabeth Anderson

    Jan 10, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    I am blown away by your wisdom that I will probably create the points in this article as a poster on my wall or (and!) my computer wallpaper. I am overwhelming impressed by your ability and accomplishments at your age. (NOT an ageism statement: I’m just getting out of my way in my early 60s–imagine that) Thank you! I have hope for our future.

  14. Emily Filloramo

    Jan 9, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    Great post Aaron! The ONE thing that so many people lack is the BELIEF in themselves that they can be extraordinary and achieve big.

    The fears are all rooted in the past – the parts of them that are stuck in old memories of shame, rejection and unworthiness. These old significant negative emotional events from childhood run 90% of our subconscious. We can dream big all we want but the “skeletons in the closet” put the brakes on our lives.

    How to fix it? Well… you have to shine the flashlight into the dark corners of your mind and invest in personal growth to unburden and release the negative energies at the source. For some, that means investing in a psychotherapist, for others, the high functioning, psychologically healthy, it means investing in a coach.

    The most powerful modality of healing and getting unstuck from the negative self-talk and inner conflict is the “Internal Family Systems” modality of healing and self-leadership. You will get unstuck for good and your self-esteem will soar permanently, really.

    I have a book coming out in April ’15 (New Chapter Press), that will talk about all of this.

    Book title is “Erase Negative Self-Talk Now! How to Unleash Your Best Self”

    • Richard L Wiseman

      Jan 9, 2015 at 8:10 pm

      You’re absolutely right and I’ll be buying your book. I know that I was programmed by my family life as a child to be negative about myself and I’ve struggled for nearly 50 years, been to therapy etcetera and I’ve made progress, but deep inside I can’t escape the power those everyday criticism and negative remarks have over me. I try to fight hard against making myself fail and yet I just can’t get rid of the negative fibres in the woven fabric of my ‘self’. So I’ll buy your book in April, for sure and I believe you are right.

  15. Venkatesha N

    Jan 8, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    1. Fear of rejection
    2. Consists action
    3. Low self image
    4, being comfort zone

    Action
    Work hard
    Get the clear picture and put action to achieve the goals

  16. Mathias

    Jan 8, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    Nice write-up! I think it’s important to start focusing more on these limiting factors, as that is the first step to overcoming them! It’s true that you need to clarify a strong vision and cultivate an extraordinary mentality in order to achieve greatness.

    I think a number 5 could be added though; The fear of responsibility. Being afraid of taking responsibility for your actions, behavior and life is what is keeping so many people from giving up the comfortable conformity of our mediocre society.

  17. madan

    Jan 8, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    Lucky enough to have learnt about addicted2success.com.

  18. Rose Costas

    Jan 8, 2015 at 7:37 am

    Thanks Aaron for this encouragement. This is a new year and the perfect time to take a look at ones self and to make that decision to go out and make things happen. I too have lived in the mediocrity area of society for too long and have decided to take it to the next level and that is to be great for the rest of my life. Thanks for sharing.

  19. Arthur Morta

    Jan 8, 2015 at 6:55 am

    Its the dominant thoughts in between your ears that determine the destiny of your Life! Concentrating on the mundane that trip you up in the here and now will derail you from the success of the end goal

  20. RAGHAV KALRA

    Jan 8, 2015 at 5:17 am

    Holding me to achieve my success:
    1 Fear of failure
    2 constant worry about future
    3 fear that i will be noticed and fear of judging by others
    4 and i am not that physically strong, so fear of someone beating me.
    Steps taken by me:
    1 started doing the things which i used to fear like public speaking.

    • Joel Brown

      Joel Brown

      Jan 8, 2015 at 12:34 pm

      Thanks for sharing these with us Raghav 🙂

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Success Advice

The Three Fundamental Principles of Achievement

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I’m all about keeping things simple. The world is much too complex and I find that much like Vince Lombardi, we tend to complicate things. If we just focus on truly mastering the basics, we can achieve whatever we set our hearts and minds to. One of my favorite stories comes from Coach Lombardi’s best-selling book.

“He took nothing for granted. He began a tradition of starting from scratch, assuming that the players were blank slates who carried over no knowledge from the year before… He began with the most elemental statement of all. “Gentlemen,” he said, holding a pigskin in his right hand, “this is a football.”

It is the summer of 1961, and he begins training by introducing a “football” to a bunch of men who had been playing football for years, perhaps well over a decade. Was this Insulting? No, because the players obviously knew what a football was. Nonetheless, from day one Vince Lombardi was teaching them the basics. This was the secret of one of the winningest coaches in the history of football because the basic, fundamental principles never fail.

When you build a wall, the basic element is a single brick. Put enough of them together, in the right pattern and you have your wall. Concert pianists use only eight keys to create the world’s greatest masterpieces. They don’t try to come up with new notes. They work with what they have.

As fortune would have it, there are basic principles of achievement that when mastered, create success. It’s a formula you can count on, which is as predictable as the sunrise. Success doesn’t care how old you are, how much money you have or haven’t earned in the past. It doesn’t give a hoot about your skin color, background or where you grew up. Regardless of who you are, success is achieved when the basics are mastered.

Here are three of the most fundamental principles of achievement:

1. High-achievers take action

With a ready-fire-aim mentality, nothing beats taking action. You could pull out a great book about success and learn from the greats, but there is no better teacher than experience, which comes only from taking action.

The dangerous thing about the internet is the overabundance of information as we’re still a little unsure of how to handle it. Because of all this new information, many entrepreneurs can easily get caught in a comfort zone of learning because it makes them feel like they’re doing something when they’re not sure what else to do or they’re afraid to take action. By reading another book or listening to one more podcast, they delay action and don’t have to feel guilty.

Others spend too much time making a decision. They worry about making the “right” decision. A mentor of mine taught me that it’s far more powerful to “make a decision, and then make it right.” If you find out it’s wrong, make a new decision, pivot quickly and take new action. Whatever you do, avoid getting caught up in analysis paralysis. Action is the cure.

“The path to success is to take massive, determined actions.” – Tony Robbins

2. Consistent action breeds momentum

Momentum is the mitochondria of the cell; the powerhouse. When you have momentum on your side, several benefits kick in. For example, challenges shrink from overwhelming obstacles to small speed bumps and you will tend to make decisions quickly. Small annoyances become meaningless as momentum serendipitously brings with it a cousin named “confidence.”

Think back to the last time you made a lane change while driving. It was easy; you glanced over your shoulder (hopefully) to make sure there was adequate space, put on your blinker and drove into the other lane.

Compare that with your lane getting caught in a standstill. The lane next to you is cruising along, must be an accident up ahead. Naturally, you want to make the same maneuver- a lane change. You look over your shoulder and…wait. You wait for a gap sufficiently large enough to allow you to jump into the lane and speed up without cutting off oncoming traffic.

Granted, some drivers don’t seem to care much about that (ask me how I know), but you get the idea. Momentum is a mindset game changer. When you have it, everything seems easier because everything is “going your way.”

3. Habit takes over and rules it all

Once you are consistently taking action, and you’re having fun because of all this newfound momentum on your side, you’re likely to repeat it and form a habit. Firstly, this happens mentally and then physically. Mentally, a habit is a new way of thinking about things, because your expectations change. Without realizing, you begin “looking” for good things to happen because you just know they will. You become an optimist.

Your habits are the backbone to your success. Once you start the mental habit of thinking like a successful person and you start doing the things successful people do every day, your life changes. Success is inevitable. It’s the law of the harvest- you reap what you sow. Plant good seeds in the spring, water them all summer and fall will produce.

“Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.” – Brian Tracy

If you aren’t where you want to be in life, take a deeper look and you’ll notice a breakdown somewhere along the way. Be honest in your self-diagnosis and admit when you’re off track. Allow for mistakes, because perfectionism is one of the great plagues prevalent in our society.

So now that you’ve read this blog, stop learning and start earning. Get up and take action- start the cycle and see how it changes your life.

Which one of these principles will help you most this year? Let us know in the comments below!

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Success Advice

My Giant Imaginary Billboard Would Say This: The Stories You Tell Yourself Come True.

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We’ve all played the game where we try to think of a message we’d put on a metaphorical billboard that costs us nothing.

The point of the exercise is to try and find out what one message you would share with the world that could change the game for all of us.

I racked my brain trying to think of mine. There are so many messages I want to share. Finally, I figured out what mine would be.

The message I would put on a giant billboard is:

“The stories you tell yourself come true”

 

The stories you tell yourself.

The reason I chose this powerful message is that it’s the one thing that has changed the course of my life. When I began telling myself a new story, everything around me appeared differently. I genuinely believe that I am going to change the world in a big way and create positivity.

You have a recurring story running through your own brain that you’re probably unaware of. The story might be one like this:

– Life is hard, so I better relax tonight.
– I need to make more money so life will get easier.
– Why do these disasters always happen to me?
– Why is it so hard to make a living?
– Why can’t I find my passion like everyone else?

These stories are all built on a lie. These stories focus on inaction and that will get you nowhere.

 

The stories you tell start with a question.

To improve your story, you first need to start by asking better questions. Questions that limit you will destroy your success. I’ve found the best questions to ask yourself have the following elements:

– They’re big and audacious
– They mention the phrase “Changing the world”
– They’re open-ended
– They assume the best, not the worst
– They’re not of a selfish nature

Write down some questions that will help you create a new story for your life.

 

You’re going to be repeating this story a lot so it might as well be good.

These stories play over and over in our head every day. You might as well have a story that’s interesting and makes you feel good don’t you think?

I don’t want to hear nonsense playing in my head on repeat. There’s enough of that in day-to-day life already.

That’s why my story says the following:

– I will inspire millions of people
– I will be healthy so I can have energy to do what I love
– I will have a life full of challenges and no matter what I’ll find the positive
– I will be fearful and that means I’m excited
– I will help others because that’s the true wisdom of life

 

What you tell yourself over and over becomes your reality.

Your life becomes what you tell yourself over and over. Change that pattern and insert a new story, and if you’re patient enough, you’ll become that new story.

Not overnight. Not in 60 seconds. In a few years probably.

So tell yourself things that are going to inspire you to do the extraordinary. Don’t fill your head with deadbeat ideas like “I’m not enough.”

You are bloody enough and you can be a bloody ripper of a person if you put your mind to it and tell yourself clever things.

The whole “Life Hacking” sport has become everybody’s favorite TV station. The thing is you don’t need to hack anything if you tell yourself the right stories.

 

Translation of “The Stories You Tell Yourself”

This line is a bit hocus pocus when I think about it. If I were to transcribe this phrase, I’d say that the stories you tell yourself stem from one idea: YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

All the stories I just shared with you that I tell myself are stories of believing in what I can achieve. If you don’t believe in yourself then how can you expect anyone else to take a chance on you? There are so many distractions nowadays so for anyone to give you their attention, they have to believe it’s going to be worth it.

Believing in yourself is centered around one idea: You’re going to back yourself even though you don’t know the outcome or the steps you necessarily need to move forward.

Believing in yourself is a belief in the reality of uncertainty.

Uncertainty takes courage and that means crushing fear. All of these fundamentals of life that I’m sharing are not new things that you’ve never heard. These pillars of life are interconnected.

“When you fall in love with uncertainty, you tell yourself that you’re confident, strong and can deal with obstacles. This creates a fortress around your mind that protects you from outside, negative forces, telling you a different story. It’s how you avoid the opinions of others and back yourself”

 

5 years ago…..

I told myself a story that I was going to crush my ridiculous fears and become somebody who focuses on the “doing” and spreading positivity.

That new story seemed so stupid at the time because of where I was but none the less I believed it. It then took everything I had to make it come true. I never let challenges bring me away from that storyline and I kept it front and center.

People told me I wasn’t good enough, rich enough, smart enough, experienced enough and I decided to tell myself the story that “Yes I am and I won’t be stopped from achieving my goal.”

I’ve told this story so many times since then that now the majority of my network and colleagues believe it. It’s no longer an idea. It’s now a reality.

“The stories you tell yourself do come true and I’m living proof of that”

 

Commit to a new story.

I never write any blog post without insisting on one action from you. The action for you right now is to commit to a new story. Sign up for a new story and put all your poker chips on the line. Throw away that old story that told you that you weren’t good enough.

Create a new story that supports the person you want to become and the goals you want to achieve. The last step is this: Tell that new story to yourself every single day and believe every word.

The stories you tell yourself do come true and that’s what I would put on a giant billboard if I were given access to one. Much respect.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

I’ll Tell You How To Be Confident Without The Self-Help BS: You Just Do It.

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One of the most popular topics on blogs right now is content about how to have more confidence. It’s driving me bonkers! I’m unsure what the fascination is with the subject.

Having gone through the whole confidence battle myself and come out the other side on top, I think I can share a few things that will help everybody.

 

Act as if.

Rather than be caught up in the foreplay of overthinking, considering and asking too many questions, just do.

“Quite simply, what has worked for me is to just get on with the task and tell myself I’m becoming an expert while being in motion”

Getting going is the part we’re all missing when it comes to confidence. You can’t be confident unless you get some experience at whatever you want to be confident at. This advice sounds simplistic because it is.

I’ve become more confident over the last five years by running up miles in the beaten-up VW Beetle that was my mind and body. Through gaining experience, I turned that VW Beetle into a Lamborghini by trying things and executing.

There’s no pretending when it comes to confidence. You only start to believe you are confident when you begin taking action. I could probably wrap it up right there and you’d be done when it comes to confidence. No more self-help secrets and private masterminds are required.

Act as if you are already confident and your mind will believe you. Your mind only believes what you tell it. Tell your mind you are confident and you will gain more confidence in the execution. That extraordinary mind will then do as you tell it.

 

Sit up and stand up straight soldier!

I always believed this one was total hocus pocus or maybe even a Jedi Mind Trick. It’s not. Confidence is also in the way you move. People feel confidence in you through your presence. If you need to perform at 110% in say a speech as an example, you have to stand up straight and physically be confident.

Now this is harder than it looks so here’s what I did: I stood on the stage with my back straight. I then rolled my shoulders back and poked my chest out slightly. Each movement on stage was acted out as if I was Arnold Schwarzenegger posing for the Mr Olympia Final (that’s hard as I look nothing like him but stay with me peeps).

Simply having a confident physical presence allowed the audience to be confident with the words and advice I was delivering. Even if each point I presented was not completely thought through, the effect was still the same. I came across as confident.

So, next time you want to be confident, try this out for yourself. Pick your own hero who’s oozing confidence, to be the person you imagine when you go into your confident pose. No matter how ridiculous this seems, it works. Don’t question, just do.

 

Self-talk is key: three words to confidence.

Okay, let’s not overdo this confidence lesson. The self-talk in my head when I need to be confident is very dumb and easy to copy. The three words I use are:

“You got this!”

Say those three words whenever you need to be confident. Say them over and over until they drown out your negative inner voice that wants to doubt your ability.

“Doubt is the disease that sabotages your confidence”

I had no idea about blogging as an example. I just believed I’d find a way and I did. My doubting brain told me that I was hopeless at English and couldn’t master grammar to save my life. That aside, I just used these three words to silence the inner critic.

Your inner critic is only right if you let it be. Back yourself. Talk to yourself like a winner (not a loser) and you’ll have more confidence. No need to buy that book on confidence anymore. No need to read another self-help, pump up blog post that gets you all warm and sweaty.

 

Disconnect from the outcome.

Confidence is about putting the outcome aside. Everything you do is a lesson and will give you confidence. Being tied to the idea of what the outcome looks like allows your doubting mind and your inner critic to come back to the main stage of your attention.

Where your energy flows to, is where your focus goes. Focusing on anything other than being confident about your daily battles will give you the results you hate. Nine times out of ten you can’t control the outcome anyway.

So focusing on doing your best and being confident will take you so much further. Like I keep saying “You got this!”

Swag it out like whatever outcome you achieve is phenomenal because you are incredible for waking up each day and just giving it a crack!

 

Say yes and learn later.

Confidence comes from saying yes and deciding to figure out the strategy later. If an offer or idea resonates with you, then say yes. You’ll find yourself gaining more experience by doing so. My superman complex used to make me carefully think about each offer I was presented with to assess whether I had the skills and capability.

Now I choose offers and proposals that bring me joy instead, and I use my newfound confidence to say yes, and know that I’ll learn what I need to execute properly along the way. Failing that, there’s someone I know in my network that can fill any blanks in regardless so I’m very unlikely to fail.

BUT even if I fail it’s all good because I still learned heaps, got experience and had fun in the meantime. All of which made me more confident. Confidence is unstoppable when it starts to compound through experience and taking action.

 

Remember that all of us have no idea including me.

This was something I learned through a podcast. If you look at your heroes and get to know them as friends, you’ll quickly realize, like I did with my own heroes, that they have no idea. Your heroes just act as if and see what sticks.

When approaching any goal with this in mind, you find an inner confidence to have a go and see what happens.

“When you realize we’re all flawed, it sets you free to try stuff and execute on a few wild goals that you may not succeed at”

I have no clue about most things and that’s where the beauty lies. Stop idolizing and be confident in your ability to get sh*t done.

 

We’re all extraordinary when we believe we are.

Belief in yourself is key to having confidence. The truth is that all of us can be extraordinary no matter where we come from, our nationality, the struggles we’ve gone through, what books we’ve read or who our current friends are.

The opportunity to be extraordinary exists for all of us. Let this very idea give you the confidence you need to change the world because you can.

You don’t need more self-help articles on confidence: You need to understand you’re already extraordinary.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

2 Ways To End Suffering Forever.

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This year I have learned so much. I’ve learned that we all suffer no matter what. No one can avoid it. That’s not what I want to share with you though. What I want to tell you is that you have the power to end suffering.

I have proven it in my own life. We don’t need to suffer. We can end it all and the silly thing is it’s so simple. I do not want you to avoid this advice any longer. I want you to use it even if you think it’s a load of mumbo-jumbo.

Here are the two ways I’ve found to end suffering forever:

 

1. Find a way to give to other people.

You only suffer when life is all about you and your success. Once you move from being all about you, into a state of mind that is focused on giving, your problems become insignificant.

I had a couple of situations this year that have nearly knocked me flat on my ass. One was my romantic life falling to pieces and the other was my career collapsing. When both these events occurred, I used giving to other people as the way out of the maze that my mind created.

The moment suffering begun, I went straight to finding ways to serve other people. I helped friends with their businesses, I spoke at events to inspire people, I did some volunteering and I doubled down on my blogging so I could inspire as many people as possible.

Shifting the focus away from what was wrong and using my focus to give to others ended the suffering.

“There wasn’t time to suffer because the purpose of my life during those months was far bigger than me and my stupid life challenges. Giving to others gave me a way to find happiness when I probably would have hidden away and suffered in silence”

Seeing the solutions to other people’s problems and sharing them, gave me a way to put my career and relationships into perspective.

Giving is the example you need when times get tough and things get complicated. You suffer the most when you get stuck in your head and repeat the pattern of telling yourself how wrong your circumstances are.

Suffering can make you depressed, feel lonely, become selfish, go into a downward spiral and take away everything that’s good in your life.

Finding ways to give on the other hand, can cure all of those problems. I know it sounds so cliché what I’m saying but it surprises me how many people never use this strategy. Like I always say: the answers we seek are right in front of our nose.

Next time you feel yourself suffering, get out of your head and try this strategy.

 

 

2. Practice gratitude.

Okay, I thought this strategy was so dumb when I discovered it. It’s so obvious and it sounds way too easy. I mean how can writing down a few things you’re grateful for really end your suffering?

I mean you could lie to yourself and pretend that you’re grateful for something when you’re not. Well, that’s exactly what I did at the beginning. When I was suffering this year, I started writing down three things each day that I was grateful for.

In the first week, I lied about things I was grateful for and found the exercise completely ridiculous. This advice is so common that I decided to persist with this ridiculous self-help hack anyway.

What I found as I kept doing it was that your brain makes a shift subconsciously. Instead of being pissed off and suffering, your brain has to work extra hard to find three things every day to be grateful for.

To make this habit work even better I forced my brain to describe in detail each thing I was grateful for and ideally why. Some days sucked so bad that I thought I would never find three things. Once the challenge became a must, I spent my days working my butt off trying to find things I was grateful for.

While doing various activities during the day, I’d find moments when I was grateful for something and stop. I’d stop and see how I felt at that moment and I would have a mini celebration because I knew I had something for my gratitude list.

Then I tried to aim for five things each day instead of three. This shifted my focus even more. I should have been suffering but because I was forcing myself to see good things that were happening to me, I was distracted.

As I said earlier, this new habit seemed so dumb at the beginning. Once you really do it for a while, you see how it has the power to end suffering. You can’t be pissed off and be grateful at the same time. So, choose gratitude and then your suffering will be sidelined, and in my case, forgotten about.

 

***Life doesn’t need to be full of low points***

The suffering that we all experience is a choice. It probably doesn’t seem like that but these two hacks will demonstrate this to you. Your decision-making power is incredible and all you need to do is select one of these hacks to end suffering.

Don’t let the quality of your life be jeopardized by your default human mode to suffer. You’ll find these two hacks will not only end your suffering; these two hacks will give you purpose.

Here’s what I learned: most people are pissed off and suffer because they have no purpose. Once you find a purpose for your life, you’ll become addicted.

Now that’s a huge win don’t you think? You can end suffering and find purpose, all by using these two hacks. That’s the best gift I can give you.

Don’t just read this advice. Try these two hacks yourself.

It’s time to end suffering forever.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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27 C.T. Fletcher Quotes to Get You Obsessed!

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CT Fletcher Quotes
Image Credit | Boxrox.com

Bodybuilder & popular motivator, CT Fletcher is probably one of the most inspiring people on Youtube.  After getting through an open heart surgery, CT was told that he would never lift weights again. He decided to take on the challenge and has become one of the most recognized bodybuilders in the world. Winning several championships and building a huge online following. After years of hard work & obsession, CT Fletcher is definitely someone you should pay attention too. (more…)

Joe Kleckner has a passion for all things motivation & self-development.  From blogs such as Addicted2Success, to the videos of Eric Thomas and Elliott Hulse, to the lectures of legends such as Tony Robbins.  This passion has landed him an internship with Addicted2Success. Follow him on Twitter & Snapchat as he journeys towards greatness, one day at a time.

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25 Comments

25 Comments

  1. Bertie

    Feb 15, 2016 at 4:29 pm

    For me, the biggest hurdle is to mantain the vision in the long term. I can begin a project with a very clearly defined picture of what I want it to be, but then there is the need to go through all the weary, tedious tasks needed to achieve the goal. And this is the most dangerous point. You begin to feel tired, bored and drained out of energy, and that clear initial vision begins to fade away, so you end up like lost in the forest. Are there any hints to deal with this state of mind?

  2. ankit soni

    Apr 15, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    Great

  3. bosede omisore

    Feb 16, 2015 at 2:48 pm

    what if you are faced with unseen circumstances . forces and all people can do is to pity you . you tried and tried and it seems nothing happened . you keep on stugling and struggling.
    even all the men of God you come in contact with told you that what you need is God special mercy and help. what can you do in such circumstances

  4. DP

    Jan 23, 2015 at 2:48 am

    Defining your vision is key. Without it, you have no direction. Good read!

  5. DP

    Jan 22, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    Good read. Letting doubt creep in is a momentum killer. Any time you spend moping and feeling bad about your situation is time not spent focusing on your goal. Forcing yourself to be positive in the face of adversity eventually becomes second nature and your brain starts to subconsciously guide you towards achievement. It focuses your body to work towards your goal, without you even knowing it. Your entire demeanor starts to change and the results start to follow.

    -DP

  6. Robinson Nkumba

    Jan 21, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    iam learning that to achieve something extra ordinary , i have to think outside the common box and am determined. I will achieve greatness no matter what!

  7. Harry

    Jan 19, 2015 at 3:38 am

    I don’t know how it happened , but my mum and dad wanted to throw a lavish birthday party for me . Everything went okay during that time , until the family video was released and I awoke to a cold truth. I had kyphosis and after seeing myself on camera was pretty much disgusted with myself . People at school and college used to call me hunchback and I can’t tell you how much that smashed into pieces . I told my mum please don’t show this to anyone , but instead she shared it with the whole world . I was also as a child played with by a white woman , I’m actually asian , which I think determines my sexuality today . And then with a white teacher who used to place the books on my crotch just to feel me .
    I have only ever had 1 or 2 not long lasting relationships with women , and maybe 2 or 3 potential other partners but I never shared that with them . I became addicted to cannabis for a long time , say 20 years . I have had long periods where I stopped . Now I think I have overcome that addiction , as well as alcohol through myself . I am blessed in some other ways but do get angry sometimes when I think about the past , and sometimes view the world as a white mans playground . I wanted to be one of those Hollywood type actors when I was young . I told Steve at the end of the day we are all products of environment , circumstance , genes and society and even if you become Mr or misses action tomorrow and be successful that theory will always hold true . Im fortunate to have my own house and car through some family work and generosity from my parents .
    All I want to do now is become Mr muscle while I am trying to find the right goals for me , and I want a beautiful wife and also children in the future . The only thing I have to quit now is tobacco . We all need to make smarter choices , but can’t punish ourselves Everytime we get it wrong .

  8. prisca

    Jan 16, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    I so much enjoyed this article. Thanks.

  9. RAGHAV KALRA

    Jan 11, 2015 at 4:51 pm

    Thanx Emily.

  10. RAGHAV KALRA

    Jan 11, 2015 at 7:02 am

    But if we have all the solutions and resources…then there is still a big enemy known as PROCRASTINATION. I think if we want to overcome it we need to think more about the positive outcomes of the impossible task( which is in our mind).

    • Emily Filloramo

      Jan 11, 2015 at 4:21 pm

      Raghav,

      Procrastination is a protective mechanism that keeps us from taking the steps to achieving our greatness.

      This is a part of us that is afraid of success. It’s afraid of success because it is stuck in some memory from the past (from authority figures and the school) that has us believe that it is not safe to be in the spotlight of success. That’s why we procrastinate.

      In order to overcome procrastination, again, as I’ve said in the comments below, the flashlight must shine into the dark corners of our minds and release the burdens and limiting beliefs that were acquired from significant emotional events. This will erase the negative self-talk for good and stop procrastination all together.

      Hope this explanation helps. It’s not you that’s procrastinating, it’s your parts from the past. -Emily

  11. William

    Jan 11, 2015 at 12:18 am

    Great article, but Thomas Edison was a sadistic psychopath who loved torturing animals. I definitely do not admire him. He thought the crying and yelping sounds animals made was no different that a machine squeaking.

  12. Keith Rozairo

    Jan 10, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    Right on Raghav! The more I read these posts and the comments, the more it steels me to achieve.
    Cheers

  13. Elizabeth Anderson

    Jan 10, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    I am blown away by your wisdom that I will probably create the points in this article as a poster on my wall or (and!) my computer wallpaper. I am overwhelming impressed by your ability and accomplishments at your age. (NOT an ageism statement: I’m just getting out of my way in my early 60s–imagine that) Thank you! I have hope for our future.

  14. Emily Filloramo

    Jan 9, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    Great post Aaron! The ONE thing that so many people lack is the BELIEF in themselves that they can be extraordinary and achieve big.

    The fears are all rooted in the past – the parts of them that are stuck in old memories of shame, rejection and unworthiness. These old significant negative emotional events from childhood run 90% of our subconscious. We can dream big all we want but the “skeletons in the closet” put the brakes on our lives.

    How to fix it? Well… you have to shine the flashlight into the dark corners of your mind and invest in personal growth to unburden and release the negative energies at the source. For some, that means investing in a psychotherapist, for others, the high functioning, psychologically healthy, it means investing in a coach.

    The most powerful modality of healing and getting unstuck from the negative self-talk and inner conflict is the “Internal Family Systems” modality of healing and self-leadership. You will get unstuck for good and your self-esteem will soar permanently, really.

    I have a book coming out in April ’15 (New Chapter Press), that will talk about all of this.

    Book title is “Erase Negative Self-Talk Now! How to Unleash Your Best Self”

    • Richard L Wiseman

      Jan 9, 2015 at 8:10 pm

      You’re absolutely right and I’ll be buying your book. I know that I was programmed by my family life as a child to be negative about myself and I’ve struggled for nearly 50 years, been to therapy etcetera and I’ve made progress, but deep inside I can’t escape the power those everyday criticism and negative remarks have over me. I try to fight hard against making myself fail and yet I just can’t get rid of the negative fibres in the woven fabric of my ‘self’. So I’ll buy your book in April, for sure and I believe you are right.

  15. Venkatesha N

    Jan 8, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    1. Fear of rejection
    2. Consists action
    3. Low self image
    4, being comfort zone

    Action
    Work hard
    Get the clear picture and put action to achieve the goals

  16. Mathias

    Jan 8, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    Nice write-up! I think it’s important to start focusing more on these limiting factors, as that is the first step to overcoming them! It’s true that you need to clarify a strong vision and cultivate an extraordinary mentality in order to achieve greatness.

    I think a number 5 could be added though; The fear of responsibility. Being afraid of taking responsibility for your actions, behavior and life is what is keeping so many people from giving up the comfortable conformity of our mediocre society.

  17. madan

    Jan 8, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    Lucky enough to have learnt about addicted2success.com.

  18. Rose Costas

    Jan 8, 2015 at 7:37 am

    Thanks Aaron for this encouragement. This is a new year and the perfect time to take a look at ones self and to make that decision to go out and make things happen. I too have lived in the mediocrity area of society for too long and have decided to take it to the next level and that is to be great for the rest of my life. Thanks for sharing.

  19. Arthur Morta

    Jan 8, 2015 at 6:55 am

    Its the dominant thoughts in between your ears that determine the destiny of your Life! Concentrating on the mundane that trip you up in the here and now will derail you from the success of the end goal

  20. RAGHAV KALRA

    Jan 8, 2015 at 5:17 am

    Holding me to achieve my success:
    1 Fear of failure
    2 constant worry about future
    3 fear that i will be noticed and fear of judging by others
    4 and i am not that physically strong, so fear of someone beating me.
    Steps taken by me:
    1 started doing the things which i used to fear like public speaking.

    • Joel Brown

      Joel Brown

      Jan 8, 2015 at 12:34 pm

      Thanks for sharing these with us Raghav 🙂

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Success Advice

The Three Fundamental Principles of Achievement

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I’m all about keeping things simple. The world is much too complex and I find that much like Vince Lombardi, we tend to complicate things. If we just focus on truly mastering the basics, we can achieve whatever we set our hearts and minds to. One of my favorite stories comes from Coach Lombardi’s best-selling book.

“He took nothing for granted. He began a tradition of starting from scratch, assuming that the players were blank slates who carried over no knowledge from the year before… He began with the most elemental statement of all. “Gentlemen,” he said, holding a pigskin in his right hand, “this is a football.”

It is the summer of 1961, and he begins training by introducing a “football” to a bunch of men who had been playing football for years, perhaps well over a decade. Was this Insulting? No, because the players obviously knew what a football was. Nonetheless, from day one Vince Lombardi was teaching them the basics. This was the secret of one of the winningest coaches in the history of football because the basic, fundamental principles never fail.

When you build a wall, the basic element is a single brick. Put enough of them together, in the right pattern and you have your wall. Concert pianists use only eight keys to create the world’s greatest masterpieces. They don’t try to come up with new notes. They work with what they have.

As fortune would have it, there are basic principles of achievement that when mastered, create success. It’s a formula you can count on, which is as predictable as the sunrise. Success doesn’t care how old you are, how much money you have or haven’t earned in the past. It doesn’t give a hoot about your skin color, background or where you grew up. Regardless of who you are, success is achieved when the basics are mastered.

Here are three of the most fundamental principles of achievement:

1. High-achievers take action

With a ready-fire-aim mentality, nothing beats taking action. You could pull out a great book about success and learn from the greats, but there is no better teacher than experience, which comes only from taking action.

The dangerous thing about the internet is the overabundance of information as we’re still a little unsure of how to handle it. Because of all this new information, many entrepreneurs can easily get caught in a comfort zone of learning because it makes them feel like they’re doing something when they’re not sure what else to do or they’re afraid to take action. By reading another book or listening to one more podcast, they delay action and don’t have to feel guilty.

Others spend too much time making a decision. They worry about making the “right” decision. A mentor of mine taught me that it’s far more powerful to “make a decision, and then make it right.” If you find out it’s wrong, make a new decision, pivot quickly and take new action. Whatever you do, avoid getting caught up in analysis paralysis. Action is the cure.

“The path to success is to take massive, determined actions.” – Tony Robbins

2. Consistent action breeds momentum

Momentum is the mitochondria of the cell; the powerhouse. When you have momentum on your side, several benefits kick in. For example, challenges shrink from overwhelming obstacles to small speed bumps and you will tend to make decisions quickly. Small annoyances become meaningless as momentum serendipitously brings with it a cousin named “confidence.”

Think back to the last time you made a lane change while driving. It was easy; you glanced over your shoulder (hopefully) to make sure there was adequate space, put on your blinker and drove into the other lane.

Compare that with your lane getting caught in a standstill. The lane next to you is cruising along, must be an accident up ahead. Naturally, you want to make the same maneuver- a lane change. You look over your shoulder and…wait. You wait for a gap sufficiently large enough to allow you to jump into the lane and speed up without cutting off oncoming traffic.

Granted, some drivers don’t seem to care much about that (ask me how I know), but you get the idea. Momentum is a mindset game changer. When you have it, everything seems easier because everything is “going your way.”

3. Habit takes over and rules it all

Once you are consistently taking action, and you’re having fun because of all this newfound momentum on your side, you’re likely to repeat it and form a habit. Firstly, this happens mentally and then physically. Mentally, a habit is a new way of thinking about things, because your expectations change. Without realizing, you begin “looking” for good things to happen because you just know they will. You become an optimist.

Your habits are the backbone to your success. Once you start the mental habit of thinking like a successful person and you start doing the things successful people do every day, your life changes. Success is inevitable. It’s the law of the harvest- you reap what you sow. Plant good seeds in the spring, water them all summer and fall will produce.

“Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.” – Brian Tracy

If you aren’t where you want to be in life, take a deeper look and you’ll notice a breakdown somewhere along the way. Be honest in your self-diagnosis and admit when you’re off track. Allow for mistakes, because perfectionism is one of the great plagues prevalent in our society.

So now that you’ve read this blog, stop learning and start earning. Get up and take action- start the cycle and see how it changes your life.

Which one of these principles will help you most this year? Let us know in the comments below!

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Success Advice

My Giant Imaginary Billboard Would Say This: The Stories You Tell Yourself Come True.

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We’ve all played the game where we try to think of a message we’d put on a metaphorical billboard that costs us nothing.

The point of the exercise is to try and find out what one message you would share with the world that could change the game for all of us.

I racked my brain trying to think of mine. There are so many messages I want to share. Finally, I figured out what mine would be.

The message I would put on a giant billboard is:

“The stories you tell yourself come true”

 

The stories you tell yourself.

The reason I chose this powerful message is that it’s the one thing that has changed the course of my life. When I began telling myself a new story, everything around me appeared differently. I genuinely believe that I am going to change the world in a big way and create positivity.

You have a recurring story running through your own brain that you’re probably unaware of. The story might be one like this:

– Life is hard, so I better relax tonight.
– I need to make more money so life will get easier.
– Why do these disasters always happen to me?
– Why is it so hard to make a living?
– Why can’t I find my passion like everyone else?

These stories are all built on a lie. These stories focus on inaction and that will get you nowhere.

 

The stories you tell start with a question.

To improve your story, you first need to start by asking better questions. Questions that limit you will destroy your success. I’ve found the best questions to ask yourself have the following elements:

– They’re big and audacious
– They mention the phrase “Changing the world”
– They’re open-ended
– They assume the best, not the worst
– They’re not of a selfish nature

Write down some questions that will help you create a new story for your life.

 

You’re going to be repeating this story a lot so it might as well be good.

These stories play over and over in our head every day. You might as well have a story that’s interesting and makes you feel good don’t you think?

I don’t want to hear nonsense playing in my head on repeat. There’s enough of that in day-to-day life already.

That’s why my story says the following:

– I will inspire millions of people
– I will be healthy so I can have energy to do what I love
– I will have a life full of challenges and no matter what I’ll find the positive
– I will be fearful and that means I’m excited
– I will help others because that’s the true wisdom of life

 

What you tell yourself over and over becomes your reality.

Your life becomes what you tell yourself over and over. Change that pattern and insert a new story, and if you’re patient enough, you’ll become that new story.

Not overnight. Not in 60 seconds. In a few years probably.

So tell yourself things that are going to inspire you to do the extraordinary. Don’t fill your head with deadbeat ideas like “I’m not enough.”

You are bloody enough and you can be a bloody ripper of a person if you put your mind to it and tell yourself clever things.

The whole “Life Hacking” sport has become everybody’s favorite TV station. The thing is you don’t need to hack anything if you tell yourself the right stories.

 

Translation of “The Stories You Tell Yourself”

This line is a bit hocus pocus when I think about it. If I were to transcribe this phrase, I’d say that the stories you tell yourself stem from one idea: YOU MUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

All the stories I just shared with you that I tell myself are stories of believing in what I can achieve. If you don’t believe in yourself then how can you expect anyone else to take a chance on you? There are so many distractions nowadays so for anyone to give you their attention, they have to believe it’s going to be worth it.

Believing in yourself is centered around one idea: You’re going to back yourself even though you don’t know the outcome or the steps you necessarily need to move forward.

Believing in yourself is a belief in the reality of uncertainty.

Uncertainty takes courage and that means crushing fear. All of these fundamentals of life that I’m sharing are not new things that you’ve never heard. These pillars of life are interconnected.

“When you fall in love with uncertainty, you tell yourself that you’re confident, strong and can deal with obstacles. This creates a fortress around your mind that protects you from outside, negative forces, telling you a different story. It’s how you avoid the opinions of others and back yourself”

 

5 years ago…..

I told myself a story that I was going to crush my ridiculous fears and become somebody who focuses on the “doing” and spreading positivity.

That new story seemed so stupid at the time because of where I was but none the less I believed it. It then took everything I had to make it come true. I never let challenges bring me away from that storyline and I kept it front and center.

People told me I wasn’t good enough, rich enough, smart enough, experienced enough and I decided to tell myself the story that “Yes I am and I won’t be stopped from achieving my goal.”

I’ve told this story so many times since then that now the majority of my network and colleagues believe it. It’s no longer an idea. It’s now a reality.

“The stories you tell yourself do come true and I’m living proof of that”

 

Commit to a new story.

I never write any blog post without insisting on one action from you. The action for you right now is to commit to a new story. Sign up for a new story and put all your poker chips on the line. Throw away that old story that told you that you weren’t good enough.

Create a new story that supports the person you want to become and the goals you want to achieve. The last step is this: Tell that new story to yourself every single day and believe every word.

The stories you tell yourself do come true and that’s what I would put on a giant billboard if I were given access to one. Much respect.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

I’ll Tell You How To Be Confident Without The Self-Help BS: You Just Do It.

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One of the most popular topics on blogs right now is content about how to have more confidence. It’s driving me bonkers! I’m unsure what the fascination is with the subject.

Having gone through the whole confidence battle myself and come out the other side on top, I think I can share a few things that will help everybody.

 

Act as if.

Rather than be caught up in the foreplay of overthinking, considering and asking too many questions, just do.

“Quite simply, what has worked for me is to just get on with the task and tell myself I’m becoming an expert while being in motion”

Getting going is the part we’re all missing when it comes to confidence. You can’t be confident unless you get some experience at whatever you want to be confident at. This advice sounds simplistic because it is.

I’ve become more confident over the last five years by running up miles in the beaten-up VW Beetle that was my mind and body. Through gaining experience, I turned that VW Beetle into a Lamborghini by trying things and executing.

There’s no pretending when it comes to confidence. You only start to believe you are confident when you begin taking action. I could probably wrap it up right there and you’d be done when it comes to confidence. No more self-help secrets and private masterminds are required.

Act as if you are already confident and your mind will believe you. Your mind only believes what you tell it. Tell your mind you are confident and you will gain more confidence in the execution. That extraordinary mind will then do as you tell it.

 

Sit up and stand up straight soldier!

I always believed this one was total hocus pocus or maybe even a Jedi Mind Trick. It’s not. Confidence is also in the way you move. People feel confidence in you through your presence. If you need to perform at 110% in say a speech as an example, you have to stand up straight and physically be confident.

Now this is harder than it looks so here’s what I did: I stood on the stage with my back straight. I then rolled my shoulders back and poked my chest out slightly. Each movement on stage was acted out as if I was Arnold Schwarzenegger posing for the Mr Olympia Final (that’s hard as I look nothing like him but stay with me peeps).

Simply having a confident physical presence allowed the audience to be confident with the words and advice I was delivering. Even if each point I presented was not completely thought through, the effect was still the same. I came across as confident.

So, next time you want to be confident, try this out for yourself. Pick your own hero who’s oozing confidence, to be the person you imagine when you go into your confident pose. No matter how ridiculous this seems, it works. Don’t question, just do.

 

Self-talk is key: three words to confidence.

Okay, let’s not overdo this confidence lesson. The self-talk in my head when I need to be confident is very dumb and easy to copy. The three words I use are:

“You got this!”

Say those three words whenever you need to be confident. Say them over and over until they drown out your negative inner voice that wants to doubt your ability.

“Doubt is the disease that sabotages your confidence”

I had no idea about blogging as an example. I just believed I’d find a way and I did. My doubting brain told me that I was hopeless at English and couldn’t master grammar to save my life. That aside, I just used these three words to silence the inner critic.

Your inner critic is only right if you let it be. Back yourself. Talk to yourself like a winner (not a loser) and you’ll have more confidence. No need to buy that book on confidence anymore. No need to read another self-help, pump up blog post that gets you all warm and sweaty.

 

Disconnect from the outcome.

Confidence is about putting the outcome aside. Everything you do is a lesson and will give you confidence. Being tied to the idea of what the outcome looks like allows your doubting mind and your inner critic to come back to the main stage of your attention.

Where your energy flows to, is where your focus goes. Focusing on anything other than being confident about your daily battles will give you the results you hate. Nine times out of ten you can’t control the outcome anyway.

So focusing on doing your best and being confident will take you so much further. Like I keep saying “You got this!”

Swag it out like whatever outcome you achieve is phenomenal because you are incredible for waking up each day and just giving it a crack!

 

Say yes and learn later.

Confidence comes from saying yes and deciding to figure out the strategy later. If an offer or idea resonates with you, then say yes. You’ll find yourself gaining more experience by doing so. My superman complex used to make me carefully think about each offer I was presented with to assess whether I had the skills and capability.

Now I choose offers and proposals that bring me joy instead, and I use my newfound confidence to say yes, and know that I’ll learn what I need to execute properly along the way. Failing that, there’s someone I know in my network that can fill any blanks in regardless so I’m very unlikely to fail.

BUT even if I fail it’s all good because I still learned heaps, got experience and had fun in the meantime. All of which made me more confident. Confidence is unstoppable when it starts to compound through experience and taking action.

 

Remember that all of us have no idea including me.

This was something I learned through a podcast. If you look at your heroes and get to know them as friends, you’ll quickly realize, like I did with my own heroes, that they have no idea. Your heroes just act as if and see what sticks.

When approaching any goal with this in mind, you find an inner confidence to have a go and see what happens.

“When you realize we’re all flawed, it sets you free to try stuff and execute on a few wild goals that you may not succeed at”

I have no clue about most things and that’s where the beauty lies. Stop idolizing and be confident in your ability to get sh*t done.

 

We’re all extraordinary when we believe we are.

Belief in yourself is key to having confidence. The truth is that all of us can be extraordinary no matter where we come from, our nationality, the struggles we’ve gone through, what books we’ve read or who our current friends are.

The opportunity to be extraordinary exists for all of us. Let this very idea give you the confidence you need to change the world because you can.

You don’t need more self-help articles on confidence: You need to understand you’re already extraordinary.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

2 Ways To End Suffering Forever.

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This year I have learned so much. I’ve learned that we all suffer no matter what. No one can avoid it. That’s not what I want to share with you though. What I want to tell you is that you have the power to end suffering.

I have proven it in my own life. We don’t need to suffer. We can end it all and the silly thing is it’s so simple. I do not want you to avoid this advice any longer. I want you to use it even if you think it’s a load of mumbo-jumbo.

Here are the two ways I’ve found to end suffering forever:

 

1. Find a way to give to other people.

You only suffer when life is all about you and your success. Once you move from being all about you, into a state of mind that is focused on giving, your problems become insignificant.

I had a couple of situations this year that have nearly knocked me flat on my ass. One was my romantic life falling to pieces and the other was my career collapsing. When both these events occurred, I used giving to other people as the way out of the maze that my mind created.

The moment suffering begun, I went straight to finding ways to serve other people. I helped friends with their businesses, I spoke at events to inspire people, I did some volunteering and I doubled down on my blogging so I could inspire as many people as possible.

Shifting the focus away from what was wrong and using my focus to give to others ended the suffering.

“There wasn’t time to suffer because the purpose of my life during those months was far bigger than me and my stupid life challenges. Giving to others gave me a way to find happiness when I probably would have hidden away and suffered in silence”

Seeing the solutions to other people’s problems and sharing them, gave me a way to put my career and relationships into perspective.

Giving is the example you need when times get tough and things get complicated. You suffer the most when you get stuck in your head and repeat the pattern of telling yourself how wrong your circumstances are.

Suffering can make you depressed, feel lonely, become selfish, go into a downward spiral and take away everything that’s good in your life.

Finding ways to give on the other hand, can cure all of those problems. I know it sounds so cliché what I’m saying but it surprises me how many people never use this strategy. Like I always say: the answers we seek are right in front of our nose.

Next time you feel yourself suffering, get out of your head and try this strategy.

 

 

2. Practice gratitude.

Okay, I thought this strategy was so dumb when I discovered it. It’s so obvious and it sounds way too easy. I mean how can writing down a few things you’re grateful for really end your suffering?

I mean you could lie to yourself and pretend that you’re grateful for something when you’re not. Well, that’s exactly what I did at the beginning. When I was suffering this year, I started writing down three things each day that I was grateful for.

In the first week, I lied about things I was grateful for and found the exercise completely ridiculous. This advice is so common that I decided to persist with this ridiculous self-help hack anyway.

What I found as I kept doing it was that your brain makes a shift subconsciously. Instead of being pissed off and suffering, your brain has to work extra hard to find three things every day to be grateful for.

To make this habit work even better I forced my brain to describe in detail each thing I was grateful for and ideally why. Some days sucked so bad that I thought I would never find three things. Once the challenge became a must, I spent my days working my butt off trying to find things I was grateful for.

While doing various activities during the day, I’d find moments when I was grateful for something and stop. I’d stop and see how I felt at that moment and I would have a mini celebration because I knew I had something for my gratitude list.

Then I tried to aim for five things each day instead of three. This shifted my focus even more. I should have been suffering but because I was forcing myself to see good things that were happening to me, I was distracted.

As I said earlier, this new habit seemed so dumb at the beginning. Once you really do it for a while, you see how it has the power to end suffering. You can’t be pissed off and be grateful at the same time. So, choose gratitude and then your suffering will be sidelined, and in my case, forgotten about.

 

***Life doesn’t need to be full of low points***

The suffering that we all experience is a choice. It probably doesn’t seem like that but these two hacks will demonstrate this to you. Your decision-making power is incredible and all you need to do is select one of these hacks to end suffering.

Don’t let the quality of your life be jeopardized by your default human mode to suffer. You’ll find these two hacks will not only end your suffering; these two hacks will give you purpose.

Here’s what I learned: most people are pissed off and suffer because they have no purpose. Once you find a purpose for your life, you’ll become addicted.

Now that’s a huge win don’t you think? You can end suffering and find purpose, all by using these two hacks. That’s the best gift I can give you.

Don’t just read this advice. Try these two hacks yourself.

It’s time to end suffering forever.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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