Connect with us

Success Advice

The 6 Step Process for Delivering Critical Feedback in a Constructive Way

Published

on

how to deliver constructive feedback
Image Credit: Unsplash

We have all been in the position where we knew we needed to have a difficult conversation at work that involved delivering constructive feedback. Maybe a major deadline was missed, there was a clear decline in performance, or someone blatantly dropped the ball. Most of us avoid delivering the feedback, and the conversation can get pushed back again and again, wasting valuable time and money.

Delivering constructive feedback is challenging, and uncomfortable for most people, even highly trained leaders. Yet, delivering and accepting feedback is one of the most important keys for success. So why do we avoid these conversations? Because we never learned how to have them.

Open, honest, direct communication is not a skill we are taught in school. There is no “How to Have Tough Conversations” 101. As a clinical psychologist that specializes in couples work, I see just how important communication is in maintaining thriving relationships. I understand that good communication is the foundation of every successful relationship; both intimate relationships and your work relationships.

Below is a 6-step guide to providing constructive feedback:

Step 1: Clarity on the Goal of the Conversation  

The first step is to get clear on the goal of the feedback conversation. Are you planning to see a change in performance, simply communicate how you felt, or receive an apology? Get clear on what you are hoping to get out of the conversation. Be honest with yourself about what you need, what is most helpful to the relationship, and what is most helpful to the organization. Getting clear on the goal also ensures you are speaking with the right person.

“I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.” – Elon Musk

Step 2: Invitation

Set up a time to talk. Feedback conversations are not meant to be had in the hallway. It is important that both parties can set aside adequate time and have the space needed for dialogue. Additionally, there must be respect for both parties’ need for time to process information. For example, if you are delivering feedback, and the receiver needs time to process the feedback before responding, setting up a subsequent meeting will be most helpful.

Step 3: Ownership

Own the role you played in creating the situation. When you model ownership of blind spots, failures, or missteps, you set the stage for the receiver to do the same. For example, you may acknowledge that you were not aware of how to support your employee and not aware of the problem until x situation occurred. Equally important as owning your role, is owning your emotions. Own your emotions using “I” statements. For example, “I felt disappointed when I realized your sales performance had substantially declined”.

Step 4: Open, Honest, Direct Feedback

Feedback that dances around the problem does not do anyone any good. It only increases anxiety on behalf of the receiver, and potentially causes the feedback to get totally lost. The conversation needs to be open, honest, and direct. For example: “I felt concerned when you did not attend the last two strategy calls this month…It brought up questions for me about your commitment to the company.”

Step 5: Listen, Validate and Accept

When providing feedback, it is important both parties maintain an open mind, and respond in a way that communicates validation and acceptance. As soon as an individual gets defensive, feedback cannot be taken in, and the value of the conversation dramatically decreases. When providing feedback it is important to listen, validate, and accept your receiver’s viewpoint. Notice, I did not say agree. This looks something like saying: “I can see why X led you to commit Y , I understand you were under a great deal of stress/dealing with a personal situation/frustrated.”

“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” – Bill Gates

Step 6: A Clear Plan for Moving Forward

In providing feedback, the magic is that now things can change! If feedback is never given, relationships end, things will stay the same, businesses will die, and money will be lost. If you have gotten to this step, that means you did the hard work, and now you get to put change into action. A clear plan includes an acknowledgement from both parties regarding what they will do differently to prevent the situation from occurring again, and how they will stay accountable in making the change happen.

The good news about delivering feedback is that the more you do it, the easier it gets. Remember, giving and receiving feedback is one of the most surefire ways to open yourself up to massive growth.

As a giver of feedback, it is your job to model openness and a desire for growth, so that the receiver may take in the feedback and make the necessary changes. Exceling at feedback delivery will help you set you apart from others and enable you to achieve extraordinary relationships, in both your personal and work lives.

Dr. Morgan Anderson is clinical psychologist and executive coach based out of San Diego, California. Dr. Anderson provides in person psychotherapy, individual coaching  and business consulting services. Dr. Anderson assists her clients in building assertive communication skills, mindfulness self-compassion, thriving relationships, and high performance habits. She is bilingual (English/Spanish) and uses a multiculturally sensitive lens in all of her work. She enjoys going to the farmers market, practicing yoga, and spending time with her goldendoodle. Check out what she is up to on her website: https://www.drmorgancoaching.com and her instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmorgancoaching/.

Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Success Advice

12 Skills to Acquire in 2024 for Career Success

In 2024, the professional world is evolving rapidly, so taking the initiative and planning strategically for skill development is essential

Published

on

skills required for a successful career

In 2024, the professional world is evolving rapidly, so taking the initiative and planning strategically for skill development is essential. If you want to do exceptionally well at your job, moving past the ordinary and concentrating on improving various skills is essential.

This article looks at key abilities that will contribute to your future career. (more…)

Continue Reading

Success Advice

How to Use Link Building to Get More Traffic to Your Website

A meticulously executed link-building strategy can transform your new website into a digital powerhouse

Published

on

link building strategy

Why do some websites skyrocket to the top of search engine results while others languish in the digital abyss? Does the new site you’ve just created have a chance to get a target audience and organic traffic? (more…)

Continue Reading

Success Advice

Simple Secrets to Building a Profit Pumping Freelance Business

Freelancing is a highly profitable venture, but its overwhelming nature tends to be daunting

Published

on

freelance success

Freelancing is a highly profitable venture, but its overwhelming nature tends to be daunting. To maximize profit, it’s important to adopt favorable mechanisms and workflow aids. You can increase your productivity to a significant level by staying true to your workflow. (more…)

Continue Reading

Success Advice

Here’s Why Your Digital Marketing Efforts Fail and What to Do About It

A key distinction between traditional and modern marketing is targeting.

Published

on

reasons digital marketing is failing

In a renowned anecdote, Albert Einstein is said to have given his graduating class the same exam paper two years in a row. His assistant, worried that the great scientist had made an error, alerted him. Einstein’s reply was simple: “Yes, it’s the identical test. But the answers have been altered.” (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending