You can have an ambitious goal, a detailed plan, and a calendar full of good intentions, yet still end the day wondering where your focus went. You sit down to work, notice the pile on your desk, reach for your phone, then realise the room is too cold to concentrate.

Willpower matters, but relying on it to overcome the same obstacles every morning is exhausting. Your surroundings shape how easily you start tasks, maintain concentration, and build lasting habits. Understanding how your surroundings affect productivity can help you make practical changes without overhauling your routine.

Remove the Friction Between Intention and Action

Think about the last task you kept putting off. Was the work genuinely difficult, or did getting started involve several small irritations? Maybe your notebook was missing, your laptop needed charging, or you had to clear a space before you could begin.

These minor inconveniences create opportunities to procrastinate. Make important tasks easier to start by preparing what you need beforehand. If you plan to write in the morning, leave your notes ready. If you exercise after work, pack your kit the night before.

Physical comfort deserves equal attention. A cramped desk, uncomfortable chair, or poorly heated room can make sustained concentration difficult. Temperature is particularly easy to overlook. When your workspace feels too cold, you may spend more time getting comfortable than tackling your priorities. Addressing heating problems can make long working sessions more manageable.

For home offices where space is limited, vertical radiators offer an alternative to traditional horizontal designs. UK Radiators provides different heating options, which can help you plan around available wall space while considering your heating requirements.

Create a Clearer Workspace for Clearer Priorities

A cluttered desk can compete for your attention before you’ve even opened your laptop. Unfinished paperwork, scattered notes, and unrelated objects remind you of everything else you could be doing.

Rather than organising your entire home, concentrate on the space directly involved in your work. Keep frequently used equipment within reach and move unrelated items elsewhere. Give paperwork a designated place instead of letting it accumulate beside your keyboard.

Your digital workspace matters too. An overloaded desktop, dozens of open browser tabs, and constant notifications can make even straightforward tasks feel disorganised. Close unnecessary windows before starting demanding work. Keep the documents you need accessible and separate active projects from completed ones.

Think of your desk as a place for your current priorities, not a storage area for every responsibility you have.

Use Light and Noise to Protect Your Concentration

Lighting and sound affect the quality of your working conditions, but they require different approaches. Start with light. Natural daylight can make a workspace more pleasant, although direct sunlight on a screen may create distracting glare. Position your desk to take advantage of daylight without making your monitor difficult to see.

For detailed work, use a suitable desk lamp rather than relying entirely on overhead lighting. As evening approaches, adjust the brightness to suit your tasks and avoid working under unnecessarily harsh light.

Noise requires a little experimentation. Some people concentrate comfortably with background music, while others find even quiet conversations distracting. The type of work matters too. Routine administrative tasks may tolerate more background activity than writing, studying, or solving complex problems.

If possible, reserve quieter periods for demanding work. Use headphones, silence unnecessary notifications, or agree on interruption-free periods with colleagues or family members. You don’t need complete silence. What matters is creating conditions that allow you to concentrate without constantly recovering from interruptions.

Make Good Habits Easier to Repeat

Motivation often feels strongest when you set a goal. Maintaining that enthusiasm weeks later is another matter. That’s where habit formation becomes important. Instead of expecting yourself to make the same decision every day, connect new behaviours to routines you already follow.

For example, review your daily priorities immediately after making your morning coffee. Read a few pages after brushing your teeth, or spend ten minutes planning tomorrow’s work before shutting down your computer. These familiar activities provide reliable reminders without requiring complicated schedules.

You can also make a habit easier to repeat by reducing its initial demands. If you want to read regularly, begin with a few pages rather than setting an ambitious daily target. If you’re developing a writing routine, commit to opening your document and drafting one paragraph.

Small actions give you something achievable to return to, including on difficult days. Consistency matters more than creating an impressive routine you abandon after a week.

Test What Actually Works for You

There’s no universal formula for the perfect productive environment. A quiet home office may suit one person, while another works better with gentle background activity. Some people prefer a tidy desk with almost nothing on it; others need visual reminders of ongoing projects.

Rather than copying someone else’s setup, pay attention to your working patterns. For a week, notice when your concentration slips. Is it during a particular task, at a certain time, or after repeated interruptions?

Change one thing at a time. Adjust your lighting, reorganise your desk, or schedule demanding work during quieter hours. Then consider whether the adjustment makes starting and finishing tasks easier. This approach helps you distinguish genuine improvements from changes that simply look productive.

Success Starts With What You Repeat

Willpower can help you push through a difficult moment, but it shouldn’t have to carry your entire routine. The relationship between environment and success becomes clearer when you examine your typical workday. Comfortable conditions reduce unnecessary interruptions, organised spaces support attention, and familiar routines make productive behaviour easier to maintain.

You don’t need an expensive office or a complete lifestyle overhaul to benefit. Start by identifying one obstacle that regularly slows you down. Make a practical adjustment and give yourself time to assess the difference.

Once that change becomes part of your routine, consider the next improvement. Success still requires effort, patience, and commitment. But when your surroundings support the way you want to work, you can direct more of that effort towards making meaningful progress.

Some employees have a knack for making everyone’s working day a little easier. They’re the ones who find solutions when projects go wrong, help struggling colleagues, and put extra thought into everything they do.

But how do you recognize their efforts in a way that feels genuinely special?

The usual employee recognition ideas, such as gift cards and thank-you emails, certainly have their place. However, if someone has made an exceptional contribution, why not do something a little different?

Creative employee recognition is about making people feel seen as individuals. A thoughtful surprise, an unusual award, or an experience tailored to their interests can leave a lasting impression.

If you’re looking for something beyond the standard Employee of the Month certificate, here are ten ideas worth trying.

1. Create a Mini Workplace Hall of Fame

Why should sports stars and celebrities have all the fun?

Turn a corner of your office into a mini Hall of Fame celebrating employees who have made outstanding contributions. Give each honoree a framed photograph, a short description of their achievements, and perhaps a fun fact about their personality.

You could even organize a small unveiling ceremony, complete with a red carpet and a few words from their colleagues. Keep the display updated throughout the year so different employees have their chance in the spotlight.

For remote teams, create a digital Hall of Fame on your company’s internal website.

2. Design a One-of-a-Kind Achievement Award

Forget the standard trophy with someone’s name engraved underneath. Why not create an award that reflects what makes an employee special?

• For instance, someone who always finds solutions to difficult problems could receive a “Master of Making Things Work” award.
• An employee who keeps everyone calm during stressful projects might appreciate a “Coolest Head in the Office” award.

Make the presentation memorable, too. Invite colleagues to share stories about the recipient before revealing their award. Personalized keepsakes can make these occasions particularly meaningful. An award that reflects a specific accomplishment is something employees can proudly display for years.

3. Treat Them to a Mystery Experience Day

Some of the best rewards aren’t things you can put on a shelf. Instead of another gift voucher, arrange a surprise experience based on the employee’s interests.

For someone who loves cooking, this might mean a pasta-making workshop. An adventurous colleague could enjoy an indoor climbing session, while a creative employee might appreciate a pottery class.

Give them a mysterious invitation with a few clues about what’s planned. Of course, check their availability and comfort level beforehand. The activity should be a pleasant surprise, not an unwanted obligation.

4. Create a Personalized Career Time Capsule

Imagine receiving a box filled with reminders of your proudest work moments. A career time capsule is a thoughtful way to recognize someone who has reached a major milestone or completed an exceptional project.

Fill a keepsake box with photographs, memorable project notes, funny workplace moments, and handwritten messages from colleagues. Present the box during a team gathering and invite the employee to revisit some of their favorite memories.

This is especially meaningful for long-serving employees whose contributions span several years.

5. Celebrate Their Success With a Dazzling 3D Crystal Award

Some achievements deserve more than a traditional trophy or a printed certificate. For employees who have gone above and beyond, a personalized 3D crystal award can turn their proudest professional moment into a beautiful keepsake.

Beyond Memories offers crystal awards featuring intricate laser engravings inside the glass. These can be personalized with an employee’s name, a photograph, a company logo, or details of their achievement.

Imagine surprising your top salesperson with a crystal commemorating their biggest success, or presenting a retiring colleague with an engraved keepsake celebrating years of dedication.

You could even arrange a special presentation ceremony, inviting colleagues to share a few words about the recipient before revealing the award.

Unlike a certificate that might end up tucked away in a drawer, an elegant crystal award can take pride of place on an employee’s desk or at home, serving as a lasting reminder of their hard work.

6. Name Something in the Office After Them

Here’s an idea that can get the whole workplace talking. Temporarily name something in the office after an outstanding employee. It could be a meeting room, the office coffee station, or even a popular lunchtime spot.

Imagine walking into work and discovering that the usual conference room has become “The Sarah Innovation Suite” in recognition of a brilliant project. Add a small plaque explaining the achievement behind the name.

Keep the tribute lighthearted and relevant to the employee. Someone who dislikes being the centre of attention might prefer a smaller, more discreet gesture.

To make the gesture even more memorable, you could pair the temporary room-naming privilege with a personalized crystal award from Beyond Memory, engraved with the employee’s name and their honorary room title. That way, even when the meeting room returns to its usual name, they’ll have a keepsake to remember the recognition.

7. Give Them a Passion Project Day

Your best employees may have brilliant ideas that never quite make it onto their regular to-do lists.

Reward their hard work by giving them a paid day to pursue a professional passion project. Perhaps someone wants to redesign an outdated internal process, experiment with a new creative approach, or develop a resource that would help colleagues.

Let them choose a project and provide the tools they need. At the end of the day, invite them to share what they’ve created, without turning the experience into another performance assessment.

The reward lies in having the freedom to pursue something interesting.

8. Let Them Design the Ultimate Team Outing

Rather than choosing another predictable team-building activity, hand the planning over to your star employee.

Give them a reasonable budget and invite them to organize an outing everyone can enjoy. They might choose a cooking competition, an escape room, an afternoon at an arcade, or a relaxed outdoor picnic.

The employee gets to choose an experience that reflects their interests while sharing the occasion with colleagues. Just make sure participation is optional, and the activity is accessible to the team.

9. Create a Personal Achievement Museum

For someone who has delivered an outstanding project, create a temporary exhibition celebrating their work.

Think of it as a miniature museum dedicated to their achievements. Display photographs, early sketches, project milestones, and examples of problems they helped solve. Add small information cards explaining the story behind each item.

You could even organize an informal exhibition opening where colleagues walk around and hear about the employee’s accomplishments. This works particularly well for creative projects, major company milestones, and collaborative achievements where individual contributions might otherwise go unnoticed.

10. Give Them a Golden Ticket

Remember the excitement of finding a golden ticket? Bring a little of that anticipation into the workplace.

Create a special golden ticket that employees can redeem for a reward of their choice. Depending on your budget, options might include an extra paid day off, a professional workshop, a special lunch, or tickets to an event.

Present the ticket inside an envelope or small gift box to make the occasion more memorable. You could even introduce a limited number of golden tickets throughout the year, each recognizing a particularly impressive contribution. The fun is in the presentation, but the reward itself should be worthwhile.

Conclusion: Make Their Hard Work Worth Celebrating

Recognizing outstanding employees doesn’t have to mean handing out the same certificates and gift vouchers year after year. Sometimes, the most memorable gestures come from doing something unexpected.

A personalized achievement museum, a dazzling crystal with their personal details, a surprise experience, or a meeting room temporarily named after a colleague can turn an ordinary workday into a special occasion.

The trick is to think about the individual. What would genuinely make them smile? Which achievement are they proudest of? Would they enjoy a public celebration or something more personal?

Start with those questions, then choose a reward that fits. After all, when someone puts extraordinary effort into their work, a little imagination can go a long way in showing just how much that effort is appreciated.

Have you ever sat down to relax, only to find yourself thinking about everything you should be doing instead? Maybe laundry is waiting, an assignment is unfinished, or your inbox is growing. Suddenly, taking a break feels like something you need to justify.

For many people, rest comes with an uncomfortable sense of guilt. We’re often encouraged to stay busy, achieve more, and make every minute count. It’s easy to start believing that time spent doing nothing is time wasted.

But constantly pushing yourself isn’t the only way to build a meaningful, successful life. Learning to rest without guilt means changing how you think about productivity, setting healthier boundaries, and making room for your own needs.

Here’s where to start.

Understand Why You Feel Guilty About Resting

Before you can change your relationship with rest, it helps to understand where the guilt comes from.

Perhaps you grew up in a household where being busy was praised, or you’ve spent years working in environments that reward long hours. Social media can add to that pressure, with endless posts about early mornings, ambitious goals, and packed schedules.

Over time, you might start measuring your personal worth by how much you accomplish.

Pay attention to the thoughts that appear when you take a break. Do you tell yourself you’re lazy? Do you worry that other people are working harder than you?

Try asking yourself where those expectations came from and whether they’re actually reasonable.

Recognizing these patterns won’t automatically remove the guilt, but it gives you a chance to question it instead of accepting it.

Stop Treating Rest as Something You Have to Earn

One of the biggest obstacles to guilt-free rest is believing you must finish everything before you’re allowed to relax.

The problem? There’s almost always something else to do.

Your inbox will receive more messages. Household chores will return tomorrow. Even after completing an important project, another responsibility will probably take its place.

If you only rest when everything is finished, you may rarely give yourself permission to stop. Instead, start treating rest as a normal part of your day. You can practice this by:

• Taking a lunch break without working through it.
• Setting a reasonable time to finish work or studying.
• Allowing yourself a quiet evening without planning something productive.
• Scheduling free time alongside your other commitments.
• Taking short breaks before you feel completely exhausted.

You don’t need to justify every moment of downtime.

And remember, resting doesn’t have to involve doing absolutely nothing. Reading, listening to music, or spending time with someone you love can be just as meaningful as sitting quietly.

Create a Comfortable Space Where You Can Switch Off

Your surroundings can influence how easily you settle into a restful routine.

If your bedroom doubles as your office, study area, and storage space, it may be difficult to mentally separate work from relaxation.

Creating a calmer environment doesn’t require an expensive makeover. Small changes can make your space feel more welcoming.

Start by clearing unnecessary clutter from your bedside table, putting away work materials, and choosing softer lighting in the evening.

Your bedding matters, too. Comfortable sheets and a clean duvet cover can make getting into bed something to look forward to. For example, someone decorating a college dorm could choose coordinated sheets and duvet covers, all from Doze Bedding, to create a more inviting place to unwind after classes.

You could also establish a simple evening ritual, such as changing into comfortable clothes, putting your phone away, and reading for a few minutes.

The point isn’t to create a picture-perfect bedroom. It’s to give yourself somewhere that feels separate from the demands of the day.

Set Boundaries Without Feeling Like You’re Letting People Down

Sometimes, guilt about resting comes from worrying about disappointing other people. You might feel obligated to answer messages immediately, accept every invitation, or help whenever someone asks.

Being considerate is important, but constantly putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own can leave little time for recovery.

Start by recognizing which commitments are necessary and which ones you’ve accepted out of habit. If someone asks for a favor when you’re already overwhelmed, it’s reasonable to explain that you don’t have the capacity.

You don’t need a complicated excuse. A simple response such as “I can’t manage that today” is enough.

It may feel uncomfortable initially, especially if you’re used to saying yes. Remember that setting boundaries isn’t about ignoring your responsibilities. It’s about recognizing your limits and communicating them clearly.

Find Ways to Rest That Actually Work for You

Rest looks different for everyone.

Some people enjoy spending an afternoon reading, while others feel refreshed after taking a walk or working on a creative hobby.

The important thing is recognizing what helps you feel relaxed rather than what you think relaxation should look like.

Consider trying different activities:

• Physical Rest: Taking a nap when appropriate, getting enough sleep, or enjoying a quiet evening.
• Mental Rest: Stepping away from demanding tasks and reducing unnecessary distractions.
• Social Rest: Spending time alone or with people who don’t drain your energy.
• Creative Rest: Listening to music, enjoying nature, or doing something purely for pleasure.

You might also notice that certain activities leave you feeling more tired.

For example, scrolling through social media for an hour may not provide the same sense of relaxation as reading or taking a peaceful walk.

Pay attention to how you feel afterward and adjust your routine accordingly. Rest should support your well-being, not become another activity you feel pressured to perfect.

Final Thoughts

Learning how to stop feeling guilty about resting takes practice, particularly if you’ve spent years associating success with constant activity.

Start by questioning the expectations you’ve placed on yourself. Make time for activities you enjoy, create a comfortable environment, and establish boundaries that protect your personal time.

Most importantly, remember that taking a break doesn’t mean you’ve abandoned your goals.

You can be ambitious, responsible, and hardworking while still making room for quiet moments.

The next time you feel guilty about sitting down with a book or spending an evening doing very little, resist the urge to fill that time immediately.

Give yourself permission to enjoy it.

A fulfilling life isn’t measured only by what you accomplish. It’s also shaped by the moments you allow yourself to appreciate along the way.

How to network when you’re nervous starts with accepting that the nerves are normal and planning around them instead of waiting for them to disappear. Go in with a small goal, like introducing yourself to two people, ask curious questions instead of trying to impress, and remember that the sweaty hands and shaky voice are far less obvious to everyone else than they feel to you. Then build your network in circles, so you’re not relying on one nerve-racking room to change your career.

This came up in my conversation with startup mentor Terence Mauri, a coach who works with ambitious leaders around the world. We’d been talking about how he ended up working with McLaren, the Formula 1 company, and his answer was simple: networking. Then we got onto why something we all did naturally as kids feels so hard as adults.

Funny thing is, Terence and I had a great example of it before we even started recording. We’d been speaking beforehand just to get to know each other, and we had this instant connection. I said I think we’re on the same wavelength. He agreed. That’s what a good introduction looks like. It’s not a pitch. It’s two people finding out they like each other.

Why networking feels harder as an adult

Here’s what I said to Terence, and it’s the whole problem in one picture. When we’re young, we’re kids in the playground, we go up and just introduce ourselves to random other kids, with no shame at all. From a young age we do it. It’s just as we grow older, it’s almost weird to go up and introduce yourself to someone.

Nothing about the skill changed. A kid in the playground doesn’t have better social skills than an adult at a conference. What changed is the story running in the background: what if they think I’m boring, what if I interrupt, what if I’ve got nothing to offer?

Terence put a name on it straight away. “It’s that self-imposter syndrome where you put everybody else on a pedestal and you allow that inner critic to sabotage” you, he said. The other person becomes more important, more successful and more interesting than you in your head, and suddenly saying hello feels like asking for a favor.

The good news is that the playground version of you hasn’t gone anywhere. The skill is still there under the self-consciousness. You don’t need to learn how to connect with people from scratch. You need to stop putting them on a pedestal long enough to say hello, ask a question and find out whether you’re on the same wavelength. Most of the time, the other person is quietly hoping someone will make the first move.

The sweaty hands and the Smurf voice

Terence didn’t pretend he was above it. He talked about the fear of speaking to others and said, “I know I’ve had it.” Then he described it perfectly: “It’s when your hands go sweaty, your knees shake, the pitch of your voice can go up and make you sound like a Smurf.” And hopefully, he added, all of it doesn’t happen at once.

I laughed and said that would just freak everyone out. But that moment matters, because it shows something people forget. Even someone who coaches ambitious leaders around the world gets the shaky voice. Nervous doesn’t mean you’re bad at this. It means you care about the outcome.

Terence also threw out a big number, that around 90% of people deal with this fear at some point. I couldn’t find a solid source for that figure, so I’m leaving it out. Here’s one that is solid. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that 7.1% of U.S. adults had social anxiety disorder in the past year, and about 12.1% experience it at some point in their lives. That’s the clinical end of the scale. Everyday nerves at a networking event are far more common than that, and if your anxiety is stopping you from living your life, it’s worth talking to a professional.

Nobody notices your nerves as much as you do

There’s good research on why the sweaty hands feel so loud. Psychologists at Cornell, led by Thomas Gilovich, called it the spotlight effect: we consistently overestimate how much other people notice about us. In one well-known study, students wearing an embarrassing T-shirt into a room guessed that about half the people there noticed it. In reality it was closer to a quarter.

The same team also described the illusion of transparency, the feeling that your nerves are written all over your face when people mostly can’t see them. A related line of research on first conversations found something researchers called the liking gap: after talking with someone new, people tend to underestimate how much the other person liked them.

Put those together and the voice in your head is wrong on three counts. People notice your nerves less than you think, they can see them less than you think, and they probably liked you more than you think. The Smurf voice is mostly a private experience.

Build three circles of contacts, not one big room

This is where Terence’s framework helps nervous people the most. He calls it growing your posse, and he says everybody needs three kinds.

• A personal posse: your friends and family, the people closest to you, who give you emotional support.
• An operational posse: the people you work with day to day.
• A big ideas crowd: people you may not know personally but who should be on your radar, because they give you access to new information, new knowledge and new opportunity.

Why does this help if you’re nervous? Because it stops networking being one terrifying event. Your personal circle is already there. Your operational circle grows every time you do your job well and stay in touch. Only the third circle involves strangers, and even then, a lot of it can start with reading someone’s work, following them and sending a thoughtful message before you ever meet in a room.

Terence calls the result an intelligence network and says it’s “absolutely key.” It’s also, in his words, “relationship capital that we are in control of.” He thinks everybody should have a very clear plan to network intelligently and keep growing those ties around the world. “We’re all hardwired to connect,” he said.

I agreed with him on the spot. It’s like strength in numbers, right? Link with people, collaborate, and you become more powerful.

Start with warm introductions from people who already know you

If walking up to strangers is the hardest part, don’t start there. Your personal and operational circles are full of people who already trust you, and each of them knows people you don’t.

A warm introduction changes the whole feel of a first conversation. Instead of “who are you and why are you talking to me,” it starts with “a friend of ours said we should meet.” The pressure drops for both of you. Ask one person in your circle a week who they think you should know, and why. Be specific about what you’re working on, so they can picture the right person.

This is also where your nerves can work for you. Nervous people tend to prepare. They read up on the person, think about what they could offer and show up with real questions. That’s a better first impression than a confident person winging it with a business card.

Use the big ideas crowd before you meet in a room

Terence’s third circle, the big ideas crowd, is people who should be on your radar even if you don’t know them personally. For a nervous networker, that’s good news, because you can start building those relationships long before you ever shake hands.

Read what they publish. Share it with a genuine comment. Reply with a thoughtful question rather than a pitch. When you do finally meet them at an event, you’re not a stranger anymore. You’re the person who asked that good question about their last talk. That’s a much easier opener than “so, what do you do?”

Terence also pointed to Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In as a book he recommends partly for “the power of networking and growing your posse.” Whatever you read, the principle is the same: relationships compound, and the early, awkward ones are what make the later, easier ones possible.

What to do when your mind goes blank

Everyone has had the moment where you walk up to someone, say your name and then nothing comes. It feels huge. It usually isn’t.

Keep two or three easy questions in your back pocket: what brought you here, what are you working on right now, what’s been the best part of the event so far. Questions take the spotlight off you and put it on the other person, which is exactly where nervous people want it. If you lose your train of thought, say so with a smile. “Sorry, I completely lost my thread” is human, and most people warm to it.

How networking got Terence inside McLaren

When I asked Terence about his standout boardroom moment, he didn’t have to think. It was McLaren. He described a business built on excellence and a disregard for the status quo, down to a building designed to promote focus, concentration and collaboration between departments.

“The caliber of the individuals was so high,” he said, and the appetite to grow and succeed “was infectious.” He described the McLaren chairman, Ron Dennis, as absolutely obsessed with perfection.

And how did he get in that room? “It’s through the networking,” he said. “It was really through growing the posse.” Not a cold pitch, not a lucky break. Years of building relationships across those three circles until one of them opened a door he couldn’t have opened on his own.

That’s worth holding onto when the nerves hit. The conversation you’re dreading might feel small. You won’t know which introduction leads to your McLaren moment, which is exactly why it’s worth making a lot of them.

How to network when you’re nervous: practical moves

None of this means you have to become the loudest person in the room. A few simple moves make a big difference:

1. Set a small, specific goal before you arrive, like meeting two new people or asking one good question.
2. Prepare one simple opener: your name, what you do in a sentence and a question back.
3. Ask curious questions and listen. People rarely remember your pitch, but they remember feeling interesting.
4. Look for people standing alone or in small groups. They’re often just as relieved as you are when someone says hello.
5. Breathe slowly before you walk in. It won’t remove the nerves, but it takes the edge off the shaky voice.
6. Follow up within a day or two with something specific from the conversation.
7. Afterward, write down what actually went well, not just the awkward bits your inner critic replays.

Notice that none of these need you to feel confident first. They work while you’re nervous. Confidence comes after you’ve done it a few times, not before. There’s a difference between real confidence and putting on a show, and I’ve written about confidence vs ego before. Earned confidence comes from reps, and networking is no different.

Turn down the inner critic, then act anyway

Terence’s view is that the inner critic doesn’t fully go away, it just loses its grip when you stop letting it make your decisions. He has a Finnish word he loves for this, sisu, which he describes as resilience and grit, “the ability to face that angry bear outside your door.” For a nervous networker, that bear is usually self-doubt and the fear of looking silly.

Take the pedestal away first. The person you’re scared to approach probably felt the same way at their first event. Their success doesn’t make them less human, and it doesn’t make you less worth talking to.

Then keep the rest of your energy for the work that matters. Networking is part of the job, not the whole job, and it fits best around a clear plan for how to stay focused as an entrepreneur.

When I asked Terence for his last 30 seconds of advice to the world, part of what he said was “transcend your fears, and do it now.” That’s the whole idea in one line. You don’t wait to stop being nervous. You go and say hello while you still are.

FAQ

How do you network when you’re nervous?

Set a small goal, prepare one simple opener and focus on asking curious questions instead of impressing people. Accept the nerves as normal; most people notice them far less than you think.

Is it normal to feel anxious at networking events?

Yes. Nerves at events are very common. NIMH estimates 7.1% of U.S. adults had social anxiety disorder in the past year, and everyday nervousness is far more widespread. If anxiety limits your life, talk to a professional.

How can introverts network without burning out?

Build relationships in circles: lean on your personal and work contacts, then add a few new people at a time. Set a clear goal, take breaks and follow up one-to-one, where introverts often shine.

What is the spotlight effect?

The spotlight effect is our tendency to overestimate how much other people notice our appearance and behavior. Research led by Cornell psychologist Thomas Gilovich found people think they’re noticed far more than they really are.

What should I say when I introduce myself at an event?

Keep it short: your name, what you do in one sentence and a question about them. Something simple like asking what brought them there works because it hands the conversation back.