Four years ago I committed to stop being mediocre and start living an extraordinary life. Easier said than done. While the decision is not an easy one, I took action instead of talking. The core achievement I wanted was for everyone to remember me.
Not to inflate my ego or make myself sound good, but to do something that would cause people to experience the same positive changes. To do something that made them feel special. Four years on, and I’m starting (slowly) to see what I visualised coming true.
I’ve gone out of my way to be me and to be different. Not to be different for the sake of being different, but to be different for the sake of being vulnerable and living a carefree life. We all start out average and being forgettable.
Things change though when you commit to not giving a damn about what you say and trying to find ways to help others. We can all be like Muhammad Ali or Nelson Mandela. Whether we will carve out the right path though and do so is another question entirely.
“Being the person that everybody remembers requires you to do something extraordinary”
It sounds more simplistic than it really is. It will most likely take years of your life and many of your days will go unnoticed. Often you will be the only one that ever sees’s any progress.
What you see is what matters. You need to see what you can become and a long way into that journey, the people around you may see that same vision. A lot of your success is based entirely on how you see yourself and what you believe you can do.
***A quick story***
Last week, I got the opportunity to speak with someone who has a lot of power to make things happen. They’re someone that is regularly hassled for favors and can make dreams come true. Like with any meeting I have these days, it was someone else’s belief in me that inspired them to introduce me to this lady.
A time was setup for us to have a phone call and the stage was set (so to speak). These conversations have become routine over the last twelve months, and I try my best to top every conversation. By the end of the two-hour conversation, she was left speechless and almost couldn’t hang up.
She didn’t know what to say, and she insisted that we would be working together in some way going forward. This story is not about me; it’s about what can be achieved when you follow the right formula for your life.
Here are the 7 ways you can be the person that everybody remembers:
1. Be over the top
The factory worker education we are given tells us only to speak when spoken to and not to come across too strong or we might scare people away. This is BS and is the opposite of the truth. Go completely over the top and off your rocket.
Be the person in the room that says what they think (while being respectful) and commits to delivering some valuable lesson. Let the sweat pour off you if that’s what it takes. I can guarantee what you have won’t be forgotten if you do.
It’s unlikely that any of the other robots you are with will have the guts to do the same. If they do, then they’re a rare breed, and you should spend as much time as you can with them.
2. You should ooze……
What’s the one thing that should be oozing out of you? Trick question. You should know that passion is what must ooze out of you. In the meeting I had last week I made sure that my passion was clearly demonstrated and I tied back every point of the conversation to that passion.
With this type of conversation structure, it’s virtually impossible for someone not to feel connected to you. People that ooze passion are rare. They’re rare because let’s be honest, a lot of us never find our passion and even if we do, we never execute on it and take action.
We settle for the tools of numbness that advertising tells us we need, rather than becoming present and connecting with like-minded people. The way you talk should be full of excitement, have moments of poise, and your body language should be strong.
3. Shut up
This may seem like the opposite of what I just said. It’s not. While you need to be over the top, passionate and communicate strongly, you always need to leave some bits where you shut up. If you motor mouth your way through an entire meeting and don’t stop, you’ll be hated.
A lot of the connection required to be the person everybody remembers is in you asking brilliant questions, and then listening to the answer. The answers should form the basis for what you say and the parts of your passion that you let shine through.
My conversation last week went for two hours, and I only spoke for around fifty minutes. I did this because I knew that being memorable is not about me.
“Those who focus on the audience they’re talking to are the ones who inspire and motivate us to do the impossible and to even quit our job”
The memorable part of what you do is the care you have in delivering something that is tailor made for the audience and includes real-time feedback.
4. Vary the energy
A person who is memorable uses the dynamics of a conversation to their advantage. They make you feel a rush of emotions that range from euphoria, down to deep pain, all the way back up to sheer happiness.
If you try to move people using only one speed of emotion, you won’t have the variation or the transformational power to move them into feeling. Without feeling, what you say and how you act is utterly meaningless. What you say just becomes words coming out of your mouth.
Memorable people tie their purpose and reason for existence to a strong dose of emotion. We remember what we feel. We don’t remember anything else.
5. Clever storytelling
A tactic that should become a habit for you is to start by telling a vulnerable story. I have a vault of many of these stories (probably too many), and I hand select one each time I talk with someone. It’s like taking a book off the bookshelf and reading the best chapter to someone.
I ensure that I go first so that the other person is more likely to tell me a story in return. This swapping of stories is what creates that human connection that makes you memorable. In the meeting that happened last week, I told my entrepreneurial story with all its highs and lows and how it’s a big part of what I do today.
Because the story is heavily linked to my passion, it’s rare that it doesn’t connect with people. Telling a vulnerable story can be challenging, but the more you do it, the better you get at it. The first time you try, you may shed a tear. Have no fear; this will only make you more memorable.
6. We all want to be led
All of us are secretly looking for someone who is memorable so that we can follow them. Our animal instincts make us want to be led. We’re all led by someone or something even if we don’t realise it. The aim of the game is always to strive to be the leader.
The leader get’s all the advantages. By advantages I mean growth. Growth happens to leaders because they get to focus their time on helping others rise up. Through this process of transformation, the leader see’s the power of what they are doing, and it gives them a real purpose that they may not have discovered before.
“Being memorable is about being a leader in whatever it is that you do”
7. Be you
The most memorable thing you can do is be you. No one else is like you and you’re pretty incredible in your own unique way. The experiences you have may seem pretty stock standard, but they’re not. Each of them can teach us something we didn’t know previously. Trying to be someone else is how you get lost in the crowd.
“It’s when you become comfortable with being you 24/7 that people start to remember who you are”
By being you, you can have the biggest impact on the lives of others. The cookie cutter copycats who are not being themselves, will one day discover what I’m telling you about being you. My only hope is that they discover this before they die so they can experience what you’re about to practice as your new daily ritual – being you that is. Watch your life change.
What can you do to be memorable? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
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