Is it good to be competitive? Some say yes, others say no. Why? Well, that’s because being competitive has both benefits and drawbacks. On one hand, competitive people are ambitious and confident. They also don’t give up easily and are ready to do anything to fulfill their deepest desires. We envy them, because eventually, they reach success. However, being competitive has its disadvantages too.Competitive people are often self-absorbed, conceited, and fussy. Moreover, because their desire to win is fueled by fear of defeat, they live in constant stress. No wonder we don’t want to be competitive. But, what if you could be competitive in a healthy way?
You Compete Against The Wrong Person
Let me make something clear: it’s good to be competitive. If you’re not a naturally competitive person, it’s worth it to teach yourself competitiveness, it’ll help you reach your goals. But, in order to be competitive in a healthy way, you need to stop competing against others. Why? Because it brings neither happiness nor success you could be proud of.
Let’s take a look at three reasons why you shouldn’t compete against others:
1. There will always be someone better than you
You can never be the world’s best person in any area of life. Of course, you can triumph for a while, but eventually, someone will beat you. When they do, you’ll either end up sacrificing everything to prove again that you’re the best, or convince yourself you’re a failure and fall into depression. Either way, you’ll be unhappy.
2. Winning doesn’t lead to self-improvement
When you compete against others, you judge yourself against another person’s values. Thus, when you win, you do something that’s important to them, not to you. So, winning is meaningless. But, of course, you’re the winner. Congratulations! Does that make you feel any better? I guess not.
3. You adopt the tendency to compare yourself to others
By constantly competing against others, you teach yourself to always compare yourself to others, especially those who are better than you. So, you feel you’re never good enough, which steals all the joy from your life. Also, by comparing yourself to others, you never appreciate what you have. Instead, you focus on what you lack. Here’s the problem: you’ll never have everything and if you do, it will make you miserable. After all, it’s not achieving your goals that makes you happy, but the process of trying to achieve them. Think about it.
“The biggest competition is myself. I am not looking to follow others or pull them down. I’m planning to test my own boundaries.” – Rain
Now that you know why competing against others can be self-destructive, let’s discuss who you should actually compete against to be happy and successful.
The Key To Success Lies In Competing Against Yourself
People who compete against themselves are more successful than those who compete against others, because they understand that winning is more than a competition. Being a winner doesn’t mean crossing the finish line first, but giving everything you’ve got to reach your goal. Otherwise, the competition itself is meaningless. Thus, you can be triumphant without the necessity to win. It’s the process that’s important and what you prove to yourself, and not to others.
Another reason why you should compete against yourself is that you redefine what success means: it becomes a sign of mastering a new skill and improving yourself. It’s fulfilling, so there’s no reason to boast about it. Moreover, when you reach success, you don’t rest on laurels. Beating others doesn’t matter any longer. You find satisfaction in pursuing self-development, so you start challenging yourself in new ways.
As far as losing is concerned, you will lose sometimes, however, you won’t blame others for your failure. Instead, you’ll take the full responsibility for your actions. Failure won’t be a reason to be depressed or angry, but a reason to learn on your mistakes and promise yourself that you’ll do better next time.
Remember, once you start competing against yourself, your life will change.
How To Compete Against Yourself: A Short Guide To Success
Here are three useful tips that will help you become a competitive person in a healthy way:
1. Set rational and attainable goals
One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to achieve a goal is that they set standards that are too high. For example, when deciding to learn a new language, they set a goal to become a fluent speaker within one year because their friend learned a foreign language that fast. Setting such irrational goals leads to higher anxiety level and results in failure. So, don’t look at others! Think about your own abilities and set proper goals.
2. Surround yourself with positive role models
Most people dream of being an expert in something and in order to improve their skills, they find role models who’d motivate them. For example, you can look up to Bill Gates when trying to turn your hobby into a business, or Stephen King, when trying to write a bestseller. Is it bad? No, it isn’t as long as those role models influence you in a positive way. However, if they make you feel like a failure, it’s time to ditch them. Remember, role models should help you achieve success, not hinder it by making you feel depressed.
“I enjoy competition. I enjoy challenges. If a challenge is in front of me and it appeals to me, I will go ahead and conquer it.” – Conor McGregor
3. Reward yourself for doing a good job
There’s no better way to motivate yourself than the knowledge that a reward waits for you on the finish line. Thus, every time you reach your goal, celebrate it. A small gift is enough to boost your mood and make you feel satisfied. Remember, a good reward system can do miracles!