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Success Advice

Here’s Why You Should Compete Against Yourself and How to Do It in a Non-Destructive Way



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Is it good to be competitive? Some say yes, others say no. Why? Well, that’s because being competitive has both benefits and drawbacks. On one hand, competitive people are ambitious and confident. They also don’t give up easily and are ready to do anything to fulfill their deepest desires. We envy them, because eventually, they reach success. However, being competitive has its disadvantages too.Competitive people are often self-absorbed, conceited, and fussy. Moreover, because their desire to win is fueled by fear of defeat, they live in constant stress. No wonder we don’t want to be competitive. But, what if you could be competitive in a healthy way?

You Compete Against The Wrong Person

Let me make something clear: it’s good to be competitive. If you’re not a naturally competitive person, it’s worth it to teach yourself competitiveness, it’ll help you reach your goals. But, in order to be competitive in a healthy way, you need to stop competing against others. Why? Because it brings neither happiness nor success you could be proud of.

Let’s take a look at three reasons why you shouldn’t compete against others:

1. There will always be someone better than you

You can never be the world’s best person in any area of life. Of course, you can triumph for a while, but eventually, someone will beat you. When they do, you’ll either end up sacrificing everything to prove again that you’re the best, or convince yourself you’re a failure and fall into depression. Either way, you’ll be unhappy.

2. Winning doesn’t lead to self-improvement

When you compete against others, you judge yourself against another person’s values. Thus, when you win, you do something that’s important to them, not to you. So, winning is meaningless. But, of course, you’re the winner. Congratulations! Does that make you feel any better? I guess not.

3. You adopt the tendency to compare yourself to others

By constantly competing against others, you teach yourself to always compare yourself to others, especially those who are better than you. So, you feel you’re never good enough, which steals all the joy from your life. Also, by comparing yourself to others, you never appreciate what you have. Instead, you focus on what you lack. Here’s the problem: you’ll never have everything and if you do, it will make you miserable. After all, it’s not achieving your goals that makes you happy, but the process of trying to achieve them. Think about it.

“The biggest competition is myself. I am not looking to follow others or pull them down. I’m planning to test my own boundaries.” – Rain

Now that you know why competing against others can be self-destructive, let’s discuss who you should actually compete against to be happy and successful.

The Key To Success Lies In Competing Against Yourself

People who compete against themselves are more successful than those who compete against others, because they understand that winning is more than a competition. Being a winner doesn’t mean crossing the finish line first, but giving everything you’ve got to reach your goal. Otherwise, the competition itself is meaningless. Thus, you can be triumphant without the necessity to win. It’s the process that’s important and what you prove to yourself, and not to others.

Another reason why you should compete against yourself is that you redefine what success means: it becomes a sign of mastering a new skill and improving yourself. It’s fulfilling, so there’s no reason to boast about it. Moreover, when you reach success, you don’t rest on laurels. Beating others doesn’t matter any longer. You find satisfaction in pursuing self-development, so you start challenging yourself in new ways.

As far as losing is concerned, you will lose sometimes, however, you won’t blame others for your failure. Instead, you’ll take the full responsibility for your actions. Failure won’t be a reason to be depressed or angry, but a reason to learn on your mistakes and promise yourself that you’ll do better next time.

Remember, once you start competing against yourself, your life will change.

How To Compete Against Yourself: A Short Guide To Success

Here are three useful tips that will help you become a competitive person in a healthy way:

1. Set rational and attainable goals

One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to achieve a goal is that they set standards that are too high. For example, when deciding to learn a new language, they set a goal to become a fluent speaker within one year because their friend learned a foreign language that fast. Setting such irrational goals leads to higher anxiety level and results in failure. So, don’t look at others! Think about your own abilities and set proper goals.

2. Surround yourself with positive role models

Most people dream of being an expert in something and in order to improve their skills, they find role models who’d motivate them. For example, you can look up to Bill Gates when trying to turn your hobby into a business, or Stephen King, when trying to write a bestseller. Is it bad? No, it isn’t as long as those role models influence you in a positive way. However, if they make you feel like a failure, it’s time to ditch them. Remember, role models should help you achieve success, not hinder it by making you feel depressed.

“I enjoy competition. I enjoy challenges. If a challenge is in front of me and it appeals to me, I will go ahead and conquer it.” – Conor McGregor

3. Reward yourself for doing a good job

There’s no better way to motivate yourself than the knowledge that a reward waits for you on the finish line. Thus, every time you reach your goal, celebrate it. A small gift is enough to boost your mood and make you feel satisfied. Remember, a good reward system can do miracles!

Are you going to keep on competing against others or start competing against yourself? Tell us about it in the comments below!

Emily Johnson is a content strategist at She writes thought-provoking articles about digital marketing, remote work, productivity and self-improvement. Her blogs about how to achieve success motivate people all over the Web. Feel free to follow Emily on Twitter.

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Success Advice

20 Ways You Can Become a Powerful Communicator



Emile Steenveld Speaker and Coach

Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation.

Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing yourself more confidently and authentically, and improving your mental and emotional well-being. Effective communication is an essential life skill that can benefit you in all aspects of your life.

But, don’t worry if you don’t naturally possess this skill, as effective communication is something that can be developed with practice, planning and preparation.

1.  Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and responding to what they are saying.


2. Use “I” statements: Speak from your own perspective and avoid placing blame or making accusations.


3. Avoid assumptions: Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.


4. Be clear: Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely by getting to the point and avoid using jargon or overly complex language.


5. Show empathy: Show that you understand and care about the other person’s feelings.


6. Offer valuable insights: When speaking in a group, provide a valuable takeaway or actionable item that people can walk away with.


7. Be an active listener: Listen attentively and respond accordingly, incorporating your points into the conversation.


8. Choose the right time: Pick the most opportune time to speak to ensure that you have the group’s attention and can deliver your message without interruption.


9. Be the unifying voice: Step in and unify the group’s thoughts to calm down the discussion and insert your point effectively.


10. Keep responses concise: Keep responses short and to the point to show respect for others’ time.


11. Avoid unnecessary comments: Avoid commenting on everything and only speak when you have something important to say.


12. Cut the fluff: Avoid being long-winded and get straight to the point.


13. Prepare ahead of time: Sort out your points and practice them before speaking in a group.


14. Smile and be positive: Smile and nod along as others speak, to build a positive relationship and be respected when it’s your turn to speak.


15. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.


16. Ask questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or misunderstandings.


17. Avoid interrupting: Allow the other person to finish speaking without interruption.


18. Practice active listening: Repeat what the other person said to ensure you have understood correctly.


19. Use your body language too: Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to convey your message and build rapport.


20. Be aware of the tone of your voice: it should be calm and assertive, not aggressive or passive.


By keeping these tips in mind, you can improve your communication skills and become a more powerful communicator, which can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a more fulfilling life.

I you want to learn how to become more confident in life then you can join my weekly mentorship calls and 40+ online workshops at so you can master your life with more success.

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You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way



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You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way and perhaps that has created a divisive and adversarial working environment that makes it difficult for you to influence and inspire your team in a way that meets your vision. (more…)

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A blueprint for CEOs to draw a disciplined strategy



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Strategic thinking helps CEOs build successful businesses. It helps them establish everlasting enterprises. It is one of the key elements of decision-making. It is different from strategic leadership. It differentiates between leaders from managers.  (more…)

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How to Focus Your Mind on Your Goals in 2023 Constructively

In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds



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In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds on positive aspects and constructive activities. Sometimes we waste our precious time mentally and physically due to distractions arising out of technology. We must understand our priorities and learn how to focus on them religiously. (more…)

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