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7 Steps to Building Real Relationships With Influencers

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They say your net worth is equivalent to the five closest people in your network. This is also true for your level of influence, where your “net influence” is equivalent to the five closest people in your network. So how do you build a network of influential people and start becoming an influencer yourself?

Here are seven steps you need to follow to create real lasting relationships with influential people who will help you increase your net-influence:

Step 1: Know Yourself

Before you can build a relationship, you need to know who you are and the message you want to put out in the world. The worst thing you can do is to start trying to building relationships without any understanding of how that relationship is in line with your interests, goals and objectives.

Step 2: Know them

In order to connect and build a relationship with anyone, you need to understand who they are. This means going beyond the most common information people know about them and digging deeper into their posts, their conversations, their interviews and identifying what they’re really about.

What are some of their un-commonly known interests? What are some topics they consistently talk about that are important to them? What are some of the challenges they’re facing? The more you know about them, the better you can connect and add value to their lives.

“The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.” – Ken Blanchard

Step 3: Show Up

Influencers are often omni-present, meaning that they’re seen and heard on several different channels and venues at the same time. So the more you can show up and add value, the more likely you are to be on their radar. Do some research on the type of content their posting on different social networks, find out which conferences they’re speaking at, listen to interviews and podcasts where they’re being featured on and just show up to support them in whatever they’re doing. Don’t worry, you won’t be considered a stalker if you do this. You’ll be seen as an advocate for their brand and message.

Step 4: Add “Remarkable” Value

Something you hear when discussing building relationships with influencers is the need to “add value”. But an important point that is often missed is that the value you put needs to be “remarkable”. Sometimes it can be as simple as posting engaging comments or questions on one of their social media posts, or as intricate as sending them a care package with something you heard they needed. If you’ve done your homework from Step 2 and know who they are and what makes them tick, then adding value shouldn’t be too difficult.

Step 5: Be human

There is something to be said about people who can act “human” on social media. It’s as if people lose their humanity and become these self-serving, egotistical, monsters who are “too cool for school” putting up a façade of the image they want to give instead of who they actually are. Real relationships come from being authentic, bringing your guard down, letting people in and showing both strengths and weaknesses.

“Relationships are leverage. If you give value to someone else first, you have leverage.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

Step 6: Be consistent

Building real relationships takes time. That’s why it’s important not to get discouraged and to remember that influencers have many people asking for their attention. So if building a relationship with them is important to you then you will need to be consistent and put in the time.

Step 7: Find opportunities to collaborate

Once you’ve had a few meaningful interactions with the influencer you’re trying to build a relationship with, now is the time to reach out with a collaboration offer. Remember this is not about you, it’s about them. So you need to focus your offer on helping them. This is your opportunity to take Step 4 to the next level and become someone remarkable in their lives.  

Follow these steps and you’ll start building real relationships with people who will help you increase your “net influence”.

Which step do you think is the most important? Let us know in the comments.

I’m Sina Fak. I believe the greatest businesses in the world are creating something more than just a product or service. My mission is to understand the motivations behind human decision and work with people and organizations who are out to make the world a better place.  You can learn more about me on my website and connect with me on LinkedIn.

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Success Advice

Why One-Size-Fits-All Leadership Will Always Fail (and What Works Instead)

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The Leadership Shift Every Company Needs in 2025

Struggling to keep your team engaged? Here’s how leaders can turn frustrated employees into loyal advocates.

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In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”

While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.

Why This Gap Exists

Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.

What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.

Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap

Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.

1. Practice Mutual Empathy

Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.

2. Maintain Professional Boundaries

Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.

3. Follow the Golden Rule

Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.

4. Avoid Micromanagement

Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.

5. Empower Employees to Grow

Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.

6. Communicate in All Directions

Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.

7. Overcome Insecurities

Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.

8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship

True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.

9. Eliminate Favoritism

Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.

10. Recognize Efforts Promptly

Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.

11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews

When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.

12. Provide Leadership Development

Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.

13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles

Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.

The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role

Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:

  • Build diverse talent pipelines

  • Embrace flexible work models

  • Design compelling career paths

  • Simplify HR processes

  • Redefine the value HR brings

The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.

Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff

When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.

Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.

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