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9 Indications You’re a Perfectionist and Why It Is Affecting Your Mental Wellbeing

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It’s not uncommon to see individuals in all walks of life claiming to be perfectionism lovers. Such people are more humble braggers who try to convince others that their pursuit of excellence can, admittedly, be a tiny brag, but is also a badge of honor for them.

Due to the fact that excellence is a strong key to success, we see how the top names in sports, corporate world, and leaders from various industries have high expectations around them. Unfortunately, being a perfectionist restrains them from reaching their ultimate prime.

Below we discuss the 9 signs that show you’re a perfectionist, and how it’s doing harm than good:

1. You want perfection from everyone

Not only do perfectionists expect a flawless performance and actions from themselves, but they also expect it from everyone around or in their circle. By setting unrealistic expectations for others, perfectionists have almost negligible patience for those who fail to live up to their standards. This is a major reason why their relationships, either personally, professionally or socially, suffer due to their inappropriate demands.

2. You struggle to accomplish goals in a timely manner

Completing tasks in a timely manner is appreciated, but what separates perfectionists from the rest is that they struggle to get anything done. For example, they may write or review an email countless times or go through a sales pitch before finalizing, but still aren’t sure whether to send it or not. This is where their deliverables suffer due to the majority of time eaten up in performing tasks repeatedly and thinking they aren’t still good enough.

3. You consider mistakes as a proof that you’re incompetent

Perfectionists think that mistakes aren’t opportunities for learning. Rather, they feel that each mistake committed by them further cements the fact that they aren’t good enough. This makes them stay harsh and criticize themselves and even the most ignorable mistakes will leave them devastated.

4. You input a lot of effort into covering your shortcomings

One of the greatest fears consuming perfectionists is that they’ll be judged for their shortcomings and flaws. In order to get through that judgment, they want to maintain an appearance of perfection. Hence, they realize that mastering the art of displaying perfection, even when they are broken inside, is the best way to hide their incompetency and inconsistency.

“This is who I am. I’m not perfect. I don’t want to try to be perfect.” – Michael Strahan

5. You avoid encountering tasks that leave you vulnerable to failure

Perfectionists are more inclined to show off their existing skills, and not learn new ones. Rather than selecting tasks with a steep learning curve, they prefer tasks which are less challenging in nature and where success is almost certain. They rarely undertake projects that offer something new as they aren’t sure regarding the success or complexity factor involved in those tasks.

6. You don’t celebrate your success

No matter how much greater accomplishment is acquired, a perfectionist won’t celebrate his or her success. They won’t acknowledge their talent, but a stroke of luck that was responsible for success. You will hear them say some common things like, “I could’ve done better” or “The project would’ve been completed earlier had I been smarter and efficient.”

7. Your self-worth relies on your accomplishments

Perfectionists do feel good, especially when they achieve something really extraordinary or new in life. On the downside, a single or minor rejection can send them spiraling down due to the fact that they aren’t measuring up their life as they should be.

Furthermore, positive personality traits such as compassion, empathy, or humor aren’t something that perfectionists feel people around them will get impressed by.

8. Your journey towards perfection causes your mental stability to rot

Apparently, setting unrealistic expectations both in personal and professional life takes its toll on our mental health. Several researchers have concluded that perfectionists often suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety attacks, eating disorders, and fall victim to depression. Even worse, the thoughts of achieving perfectionism also leads to the development of suicidal tendencies in individuals.

9. You are never content with your life

The attached fear of failure in everything they lay their hands on keeps perfectionists from being satisfied with life and its blessings. Researchers state that perfectionists often fare well in less-stressed environments.

However, the greatest things in life never come free of their fair share of challenges. Therefore, everyday stress and frustrations leave them dissatisfied with countless things in their life.

“I’m not perfect; no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. I think you try to learn from those mistakes.” – Derek Jeter

Is there a turn of events on the cards?

People who are bothered by the complex of perfectionism can slightly make a good start by realizing the presence and gravity of their situation. You need to understand that life is full of challenges and expectations, which at times are unrealistic and out of your control. It’s your duty to tackle them with an open and clear mind in order to make the best decision possible.

Although perfectionism hasn’t yet qualified to be designated as a mental health problem, individuals plagued by it can certainly consult a professional psychologist. The point is to pour out your fears and insecurities which will help the mental health professional to use them for your mental wellbeing.

As a conclusion, you should strive to get the best out of yourself, but expect hiccups along the way. This makes for a fantastic learning experience which benefits you throughout your years.

Are you a perfectionist? Do you think it affects your mental well-being? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

Elizabeth Mailey is a strategic marketing and branding expert. She also helps students with Assignment Help online solve their problems and achieve their business goals through included marketing solutions distinguished by research, storytelling, engagement, and conversion.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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