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9 Indications You’re a Perfectionist and Why It Is Affecting Your Mental Wellbeing

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It’s not uncommon to see individuals in all walks of life claiming to be perfectionism lovers. Such people are more humble braggers who try to convince others that their pursuit of excellence can, admittedly, be a tiny brag, but is also a badge of honor for them.

Due to the fact that excellence is a strong key to success, we see how the top names in sports, corporate world, and leaders from various industries have high expectations around them. Unfortunately, being a perfectionist restrains them from reaching their ultimate prime.

Below we discuss the 9 signs that show you’re a perfectionist, and how it’s doing harm than good:

1. You want perfection from everyone

Not only do perfectionists expect a flawless performance and actions from themselves, but they also expect it from everyone around or in their circle. By setting unrealistic expectations for others, perfectionists have almost negligible patience for those who fail to live up to their standards. This is a major reason why their relationships, either personally, professionally or socially, suffer due to their inappropriate demands.

2. You struggle to accomplish goals in a timely manner

Completing tasks in a timely manner is appreciated, but what separates perfectionists from the rest is that they struggle to get anything done. For example, they may write or review an email countless times or go through a sales pitch before finalizing, but still aren’t sure whether to send it or not. This is where their deliverables suffer due to the majority of time eaten up in performing tasks repeatedly and thinking they aren’t still good enough.

3. You consider mistakes as a proof that you’re incompetent

Perfectionists think that mistakes aren’t opportunities for learning. Rather, they feel that each mistake committed by them further cements the fact that they aren’t good enough. This makes them stay harsh and criticize themselves and even the most ignorable mistakes will leave them devastated.

4. You input a lot of effort into covering your shortcomings

One of the greatest fears consuming perfectionists is that they’ll be judged for their shortcomings and flaws. In order to get through that judgment, they want to maintain an appearance of perfection. Hence, they realize that mastering the art of displaying perfection, even when they are broken inside, is the best way to hide their incompetency and inconsistency.

“This is who I am. I’m not perfect. I don’t want to try to be perfect.” – Michael Strahan

5. You avoid encountering tasks that leave you vulnerable to failure

Perfectionists are more inclined to show off their existing skills, and not learn new ones. Rather than selecting tasks with a steep learning curve, they prefer tasks which are less challenging in nature and where success is almost certain. They rarely undertake projects that offer something new as they aren’t sure regarding the success or complexity factor involved in those tasks.

6. You don’t celebrate your success

No matter how much greater accomplishment is acquired, a perfectionist won’t celebrate his or her success. They won’t acknowledge their talent, but a stroke of luck that was responsible for success. You will hear them say some common things like, “I could’ve done better” or “The project would’ve been completed earlier had I been smarter and efficient.”

7. Your self-worth relies on your accomplishments

Perfectionists do feel good, especially when they achieve something really extraordinary or new in life. On the downside, a single or minor rejection can send them spiraling down due to the fact that they aren’t measuring up their life as they should be.

Furthermore, positive personality traits such as compassion, empathy, or humor aren’t something that perfectionists feel people around them will get impressed by.

8. Your journey towards perfection causes your mental stability to rot

Apparently, setting unrealistic expectations both in personal and professional life takes its toll on our mental health. Several researchers have concluded that perfectionists often suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety attacks, eating disorders, and fall victim to depression. Even worse, the thoughts of achieving perfectionism also leads to the development of suicidal tendencies in individuals.

9. You are never content with your life

The attached fear of failure in everything they lay their hands on keeps perfectionists from being satisfied with life and its blessings. Researchers state that perfectionists often fare well in less-stressed environments.

However, the greatest things in life never come free of their fair share of challenges. Therefore, everyday stress and frustrations leave them dissatisfied with countless things in their life.

“I’m not perfect; no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. I think you try to learn from those mistakes.” – Derek Jeter

Is there a turn of events on the cards?

People who are bothered by the complex of perfectionism can slightly make a good start by realizing the presence and gravity of their situation. You need to understand that life is full of challenges and expectations, which at times are unrealistic and out of your control. It’s your duty to tackle them with an open and clear mind in order to make the best decision possible.

Although perfectionism hasn’t yet qualified to be designated as a mental health problem, individuals plagued by it can certainly consult a professional psychologist. The point is to pour out your fears and insecurities which will help the mental health professional to use them for your mental wellbeing.

As a conclusion, you should strive to get the best out of yourself, but expect hiccups along the way. This makes for a fantastic learning experience which benefits you throughout your years.

Are you a perfectionist? Do you think it affects your mental well-being? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

Elizabeth Mailey is a strategic marketing and branding expert. She also helps students with Assignment Help online solve their problems and achieve their business goals through included marketing solutions distinguished by research, storytelling, engagement, and conversion.

Life

How to Protect Yourself From Other People’s Negativity

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When I was a kid, it seemed like I felt pain more than anyone else around me. Not just physical pain, but emotional pain. I cried easily, over many things. I had an especially hard time when people were fighting around me, and I didn’t even have to be involved. I could feel the negative energy and felt upset and overwhelmed. I didn’t have a constructive way of handling it. (more…)

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Life

How to Write a Personal Destiny Statement in 3 Steps

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We all have a God-given destiny to fulfill that we were each born with. I personally believe it is buried deep down within us. The number one secret to success is to let it emerge out of you and release it to the world. What is my destiny you may ask? It is the thing you would regret not doing before leaving Planet Earth. (more…)

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Life

Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure Anymore? Stop Doing These 6 Things

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It’s pretty annoying isn’t it? All those great and accomplished people telling you that FAILURE is a necessity on your way to success. Yeah, that’s easy for them to say; they’re already ‘on the other side’! You on the other hand, are still struggling all day everyday to get your business lifted off the ground and are really not that sure if you’re indeed going to make it.

There’s that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t have the stuff to make it all happen. Not now and not ever. You feel like a failure…it’s holding you back and you don’t know how to deal with it. Well you could do yourself a favor and start dealing with it by doing the following things:

1. Stop Denying You Feel Like A Failure

Telling yourself things are going great when they’re not is one of the biggest, though most useless, coping mechanisms human beings deploy in rough times. Common denial signals among entrepreneurs: trying to regain more control by working even more hours and on the other side compensating this by letting go of all this control by partying and drinking way too hard.

What you’re doing is denying yourself the opportunity to actually feel what’s going on and acknowledge the problem; that both you and your business are in a bad place. Without acknowledging it, it’ll be pretty difficult to actually STOP feeling it. And remember, just because you feel like a failure, this does not mean that you indeed ARE a failure!

2. Stop Making It Bigger Than it Really Is

This is one of those other ‘fun’ things human beings do; we blow things way out of proportion in our heads! In business, when you lose that big client you’ve been working on for weeks, it feels like it’s the end of the world. You start doubting yourself, your strategy, your entire business model right up to the point where you barely sleep because you’re working on pivoting the whole thing.

But what if that customer simply didn’t have the money to go for your service anyway? Or what if they just decided to go for someone who is cheaper but who offers less quality? Does that mean there’s something wrong with YOU? Or that this was the ONLY customer out there and that you’re now doomed forever?

Of course not, it simply means that THIS CUSTOMER wasn’t a match. It’s a bit like dating actually…So if you take this into consideration, could it be that you just feel like a failure instead of really not succeeding in that what you want to at this point in time?

3. Stop Thinking You’re The Only One Who Feels Like This

You’re not! With the possible exception of the true sociopaths, that feeling you’re feeling is very normal to EVERYONE. It might not seem like it on the outside – because people don’t like to acknowledge this remember – but I can guarantee you that it’s true. But unlike 99% of the world’s population, YOU’RE not going to let this feeling stop you in your tracks. Are you?

4. Stop Thinking You’re Supposed To Be Superhuman

In fact, it’s very likely that you’re already doing, learning and succeeding at WAY more than most other people are. But for entrepreneurs, somehow, that never seems to be enough. You don’t just want to be successful after a few years of hard work (which is normal). You want to be successful after only a few months. Because you’re special…or at least you think you are…

Well, here’s the truth: you ARE special! But…it’s just not very likely that you’re one of those – very very rare – entrepreneurial superstars that – seemingly – just added some hot water and got instant business success as a result.

5. Stop Being So Incredibly Stubborn

Entrepreneurs are stubborn…almost by default. It’s what makes them push forward in the hardest of times. But…if you’re not doing the right things right you might just be hammering a square peg through a round hole. Which will only add to that frustrated feeling you’re already having. So why not stop being so stubborn for a moment, stop hammering away on that what obviously is not working and ask for help?

No matter who you ask – a business mentor or coach, a befriended entrepreneur – someone with a neutral perspective on you and our business will be very likely to see what’s going on with a lot more clarity than you can and can guide you to a place that will feel a whole lot more comfortable.

6. Stop Being Afraid Of Failure

I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times before and you wouldn’t be in this pickle if you could do this. Right? I’m right there with ya!

But, if you get really rational about it, what’s the worst that could happen?

  • You might have to get a ‘real’ job for a while and start over on the side;
  • You might not be able to afford your rent anymore…but with Airbnb on the 1 hand and couchsurfing on the other, you should be able to work it out somehow;
  • You’ll have all the more experience to start over a whole lot faster;
  • You’ll be no less respected by anyone because it’s clear you gave it your all;
  • In a few years, when you’re an established and supersuccessful entrepreneur you’ll also have a cool failure story to tell;
  • None of your limbs will fall off;

Now that’s not too bad for a plan B is it? Failure is such a negative word. And the associated feeling is terrible and numbing. But really…how is giving it your all and not succeeding really the same as failing? Shouldn’t the definition of failure not be along the lines of ‘not even trying’ or ‘giving up when it gets hard’?

In other words: stop beating yourself up over this!

There’s really no need to feel like a failure at all because you’re sticking your neck out, you’re trying to make a difference and you’re still moving upward on that treacherous entrepreneurial mountain.

And that…is what success REALLY is.

Those Who Failed Their Way To Success

Quotes To Live By:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” – Richard Yates

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie

“Success is stumbling form failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” – Winston Churchill

“Don’t let success go to your head and failure to your heart” – Will Smith

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Life

Why You Never Have Enough Time and What You Need to Do About It

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Has this ever happened to you? You had an assignment, and the deadline was far away. You didn’t work on it much, but in the back of your mind, that insistent little voice was always whispering, “I gotta get this assignment done.” (more…)

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