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3 Principles to Help You Transform Your Relationship With Money

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Image Credit: Unsplash

Money is a cultural obsession. Whether we accept it openly or just silently nod, money is central to our life. Not in a binary sort of way, where when someone likes money, they don’t care about other virtues in life or if they never talk about money, it must make them a saint. But money as means to an end; A channel that takes you to a better place than where you were 12 months ago. As an input to your growth and a resource for creating an enriched life.

I grew up with a scarcity mentality believing that I had to relentlessly work until retirement and save enough money. This thinking underscored pretty much all the decisions I made in life. Decision fatigue before deciding how much to spend and what to spend it on – Expensive trainers to Peloton – and immense guilt for not using the purchase enough. This spin cycle calcified my growth for years.

Over the years I transformed my relationship with money. I am sharing 3 timeless principles that can help you re-evaluate your relationship with money.

1. Trade money to buy time

Our lives are busy and despite the pandemic, our to-lists are still as long. This makes time a premium commodity. Pick anything you are working on – a project report, a side hustle, designing a house, producing a song – often, it always takes up more time than we budgeted.

Can we buy back time? The goal here is to buy time back so you can use that time to nurture your priorities, creative pursuits or micro-goals for the day. I like to keep things in the realm of a day as that keeps things bite-sized and more relatable.

A 16-hour day can soon get chipped away with various things that come our way. Some of these things are on our to-do list and we know will need our attention but then there are a whole lot of unexpected things that pop up and hog our time like unexpected calls, emails, social media. All these things slowly add up & before you realize, an hour is gone.

So, if you start with the assumption that some unknown things will surely come up and allocate time for them, that makes a great starting point. You could look at the last week and assess how much time those things consumed. That helps you get into a pro-active mode. Start with the weekly unexpected ratio and your accuracy at predicting it will get sharper by the week.

“Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.” – Norman Vincent Peale

2. Find the source for the way you think

The relationship we have towards money is based on the behaviours we saw when we were growing up. How our parents, our role models and that favourite loopy uncle engaged with the topic of money. Was money discussed at all over dinner, whether it was scarce or in surplus? Or whether money often had to be borrowed or was lent to a friend or relatives? Was the lent money ever asked to be returned? These are just a few shades of how we sub-consciously end up absorbing money-conversations. Not just that we also absorb the emotions, the reactions & the statements that got spoken and lo & behold, they become our rules of engagement with money.

But not all viewpoints may fit into the architecture of our thinking process and ultimately our life. So, it becomes very important to pause & check about who you are taking money advice from.

Money is not an isolated topic but underscores the type of life we live, the books we read, the adventures we make and whether the tip we leave in a café is accompanied with a smile or a friendly wave.

If you don’t like the way money undergirds your life decisions, then ask yourself the question – how did you come to think this way? This question often takes you closer to the source of where the thinking took shape and that gives you the choice on whether you want to change your relationship with money or not.

“Don’t tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I’ll tell you what they are.” – James W. Frick

3. Cost versus value

Over the years I started asking the question, “what value do I get from spending a certain amount?” Value = which problem of mine will get resolved. Cost = the actual dollars I dish out.

All this while I looked at things from a perspective of the dollar amount, I was paying. And the size of that figure was usually the deciding factor if it was a go or no-go.

You could argue that ‘value’ is the degree of improvement you get in your life. Would I pay almost 60% more for a pair of earphones, (not a fan of the cordless ones) because they don’t tangle up each time & travel well? Would I bother saving $100 on the best phone or laptop, something that I will use every day for a few years at least? Will I think twice about helping a friend’s fund-raiser? Not a chance.

Value is something that solves my problem and improves my life. I see it as removing irritants so I can stop jacking around and get on to things like working towards my goals or increasing my downtime.

Our relationship with money is lifelong. Re-hash it on your terms.

Pallavi Sidhra is a Cancer Survivor. She identified herself not as an expert at anything but a Mindfulness Junkie and a Consciousness explorer. She believes that the quality of our life depends on two things – How we treat ourselves and how we break away from our default thinking patterns to rewrite our story. When you don’t see her gulping oxygen or in a yogic posture you will see her immersed in conveying scarps of wisdom about life, health and wellbeing. She channels her thoughts at her website www.magiclieswithin.com and selflessly dishes out strategies for Positive Wellbeing on Instagram and Facebook.

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Success Advice

20 Ways You Can Become a Powerful Communicator

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Emile Steenveld Speaker and Coach

Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation.

Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing yourself more confidently and authentically, and improving your mental and emotional well-being. Effective communication is an essential life skill that can benefit you in all aspects of your life.

But, don’t worry if you don’t naturally possess this skill, as effective communication is something that can be developed with practice, planning and preparation.
 

1.  Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and responding to what they are saying.

 

2. Use “I” statements: Speak from your own perspective and avoid placing blame or making accusations.

 

3. Avoid assumptions: Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.

 

4. Be clear: Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely by getting to the point and avoid using jargon or overly complex language.

 

5. Show empathy: Show that you understand and care about the other person’s feelings.

 

6. Offer valuable insights: When speaking in a group, provide a valuable takeaway or actionable item that people can walk away with.

 

7. Be an active listener: Listen attentively and respond accordingly, incorporating your points into the conversation.

 

8. Choose the right time: Pick the most opportune time to speak to ensure that you have the group’s attention and can deliver your message without interruption.

 

9. Be the unifying voice: Step in and unify the group’s thoughts to calm down the discussion and insert your point effectively.

 

10. Keep responses concise: Keep responses short and to the point to show respect for others’ time.

 

11. Avoid unnecessary comments: Avoid commenting on everything and only speak when you have something important to say.

 

12. Cut the fluff: Avoid being long-winded and get straight to the point.

 

13. Prepare ahead of time: Sort out your points and practice them before speaking in a group.

 

14. Smile and be positive: Smile and nod along as others speak, to build a positive relationship and be respected when it’s your turn to speak.

 

15. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.

 

16. Ask questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or misunderstandings.

 

17. Avoid interrupting: Allow the other person to finish speaking without interruption.

 

18. Practice active listening: Repeat what the other person said to ensure you have understood correctly.

 

19. Use your body language too: Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to convey your message and build rapport.

 

20. Be aware of the tone of your voice: it should be calm and assertive, not aggressive or passive.

 

By keeping these tips in mind, you can improve your communication skills and become a more powerful communicator, which can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a more fulfilling life.

I you want to learn how to become more confident in life then you can join my weekly mentorship calls and 40+ online workshops at AweBliss.com so you can master your life with more success.

 
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Success Advice

Dead Men Tell No Tales: How to Navigate a Mutiny as a Leader in 10 Steps

You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way

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You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way and perhaps that has created a divisive and adversarial working environment that makes it difficult for you to influence and inspire your team in a way that meets your vision. (more…)

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How to Think Like a CEO for Your Future Success

A blueprint for CEOs to draw a disciplined strategy

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Strategic thinking helps CEOs build successful businesses. It helps them establish everlasting enterprises. It is one of the key elements of decision-making. It is different from strategic leadership. It differentiates between leaders from managers.  (more…)

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How to Focus Your Mind on Your Goals in 2023 Constructively

In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds

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In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds on positive aspects and constructive activities. Sometimes we waste our precious time mentally and physically due to distractions arising out of technology. We must understand our priorities and learn how to focus on them religiously. (more…)

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