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3 Must-Haves For Increasing Your Self-Esteem

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Why are your successes never enough to outweigh the failure you fear and take so personally?

This fear has planted roots in your psyche and eroded your self-esteem. It cripples your thinking and overshadows everything you do.

What you and most people don’t understand is that success is personal.

Unless you make it personal, you’ll be stuck forever in the tracks your fear has laid down.

When I finally realized the biggest barrier to my success was me, I honestly didn’t know what to do.

For too many years, my success had depended on getting recognized for my contributions as I helped other people become successful. It took me a while to realize that my unquenchable need for their approval had screwed up my self-esteem.

Too bad I didn’t realize that before starting my own business.

Learning to Get Out of Your Own Way

It wasn’t just the business failure though – I had failed myself. Going to work for someone else again would have been another kind of failure.

I had to figure out how to move forward differently.

To do that, I had to accept failure as the great information provider it is, instead of a personal reflection of me.

In doing that I came to understand the personal nature of success.

The 3 Must-Haves I Discovered That Will Up Your Self-Esteem and Drive Your Success

Because success is personal – you must get personal with yourself.

In building up my self-esteem, I had to rethink how I looked at myself. That’s what you’ll need to do too.

These exercises will have you becoming less outwardly focused, and more self-aware, in a good, non-obsessive way.

They are the necessary steps for changing your motivation from fear to one that will have you manifesting a success that is uniquely yours.

Must-Have #1: Good Control Over Your Inner Critic

No one is harder on you than you. One of the biggest barriers to your success is all the negative self-talk your inner critic inflicts on you.

It affects not only how you think about yourself (self-esteem), but also how you think about what you do (self-worth.)

Too much negativity and your inner critic harps on all your real or imagined failings. You need to get that ongoing barrage of abuse under control.

Controlling Your Inner Critic

How do you do it?

Ridicule.

Seriously, when your inner critic starts dumping on you:

  1. Turn it into a figure of fun.
  2. Laugh at it! Laugh at what it says about you.
  3. Imagine how ridiculous it looks, and take that look to the extreme.

I see my inner critic as a bulldog – with a bright pink ruff around its neck. Just picturing it shrinking down and sitting in one of those fancy little teacups makes me laugh.

Why does this work?

By taking control of your interactions with your inner critic, you’re stepping out of the role of being its victim. Taking control is a positive step that ups your self-esteem.

The more you interrupt your inner critic’s patterns of negativity, the easier it is to change what you think about yourself.

“To dream by night is to escape your life. To dream by day is to make it happen.” – Stephen Richards

 

Must-Have #2: Willingness to Embrace Your Weaknesses

Criticizing yourself for having weaknesses, over-compensating for them, or blaming them for your failures actually gets in the way of your success.

This must-have is about looking at them and yourself with compassion. Just believing you deserve such kindness is a great boost to your self-esteem.

Embracing Your Weaknesses

So what do you do?

Switch from a criticizing mindset to one that looks for improvements. Accept both your strengths and weaknesses.

This is how you start:

  1. Identify where you can make small changes that have a positive impact.
  2. Start by going for easy wins.
  3. Get the changes locked-in, and move onto the next ones.

When you disparage parts of yourself, you create internal conflicts and end up focusing on fixing the wrong things.

Why does this work?

There are three primary reasons why this works:

  1. Small changes add up and create larger impacts.
  2. One success builds on another.
  3. Doing positive things for yourself adds to your feelings of self-worth, and ups your self-esteem.

When I did this, I saw where I could make changes to my business model. The result? More opportunities for success, and more trust in myself.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Ryun

 

Must-Have #3: An Old-Fashioned “Fly By The Seat of Your Pants” Attitude

The first planes were essentially physical extensions of the pilots. The actions the fliers took were limited, purposeful and focused on achieving the desired outcome.

There’s nothing like life or death situations for giving purpose and meaning to what you do.

What you need to have is the same attitude as the old-fashioned pilots. Don’t make a move that doesn’t have the express purpose of getting you one step closer to success.

Getting This Focused Attitude

How do you get it?

Start by answering this question: What do you value and how do you want to be manifesting, feeling, and expressing those values to the world?

Then expand your answer by completing these 3 steps:

  1. Identify your self-chosen ideals, the ones that resonate with you.
  2. Translate them to specific value statements for all areas of your life: family, health, financial, spiritual, community, etc.
  3. Determine what you want to manifest and express to the world about your values.

Taking this advice that comes from Jack Canfield helped me consolidate the changes I was making, and increased my focus.  Doing this work helps you build the foundation of your success.

the rock
 

Why does this work?

It’s about connecting the dots between your thinking, feelings, and beliefs. When you’re done, you have an integrated picture of who you are and clarity on what you value.

This is where success gets personal.

This is where you clearly define what success means to you.

This is where you get your ongoing motivation for manifesting your success.

How The 3 Must-Haves Work Together To Up Your Self-Esteem and Drive Your Success

It takes a healthy self-esteem to put yourself out there in a way that is uniquely personal to you.

A mindset that looks for improvements helps you handle setbacks and failures, in a positive way.

The right attitude keeps the focus on what you value and how you express those values. It’s what pulls all the pieces together and gets everything you do pointing in the same direction.

When that happens, you know what advice to follow, what programs to use, and what steps to implement.

“The mind is a powerful thing. It can take you through walls.” – Denis Avey

This Is Your Personal Brand of Success

It’s all about you and how you’re expressing and manifesting what you want in your life.

It’s what I’m doing in mine. Finally, for the first time in my life, I’m living and expressing what I value through the work I’ve chosen to do.

Having control over your life and your success in this way is enormously empowering – and more than worth all the effort.

Start at the beginning. Do all the exercises. Take a good look at what you value and how you want to express it.

That’s the success you want.

That’s the success you’ll create.

That’s the success you’ll drive right through the roof.

Here’s to your success!

 

A freelance writer and storyteller, Quinn takes what she learns about overcoming her challenges with panic and anxiety, and shares them to help other people create the success they want. Her website, OutsmartingPanicAndAnxiety.com, provides methods and techniques to help people deal with these two tyrants. You can pick up your free copy of her 10 Tips to Outsmart Anxiety (Whatever the Situation) by, clicking here.

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Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.

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Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.

But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.

Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.

1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task

Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.

After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.

Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.

But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.

2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First

Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.

Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”

For example, if you’re a writer:

  • Research your topic at night.

  • Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).

  • Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.

You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.

3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace

Focus is the foundation of success.

According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.

Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.

Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.

4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life

Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”

This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.

If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.

5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills

Knowledge compounds over time.

Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.

I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.

Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.

6. Develop a Growth Mindset

Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.

  • A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.

  • A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.

Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.

7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You

I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.

If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.

Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.

Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.

8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions

Good mentors can fast-track your growth.

While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.

If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.

9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations

Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”

Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.

When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.

10. Focus on Your Strengths

Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.

If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.

A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.

Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.

11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

Your beliefs shape your reality.

For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.

Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.

Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.

Final Thoughts

Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.

Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.

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