Success Advice
3 Don’ts That Crush Your Ability to Succeed

Imagine trying to be successful without being able to communicate effectively with other people. Whether it’s success in your personal or professional life, one thing should be clear, you need to know how to communicate with other humans to succeed. You can overcome a lot of obstacles on your road to success but one you cannot just bypass, crawl over, or avoid is communication. It’s a skill you need to learn.
The trouble is, there are three “Don’ts” that crush our ability to succeed. I first discovered these three no’s while attending an ACA meeting. ACA is an organization that teaches people how to deal with growing up in dysfunctional families. I was encouraged by a mentor to attend even though I was sure dysfunction didn’t apply to me and my upbringing.
One such dysfunction is that we never learn how to relate or communicate with people in a constructive and powerful way. The thing is, we don’t even realize we aren’t good communicators. Why? Because we’re playing by a set of rules we adopted while living in a house of dysfunction.
And this lack of ability to communicate powerfully becomes a huge stumbling block on our road to success — and even in our ability to find happiness. The question is, “What, specifically, happens in these homes that stifles our learning to communicate?” The answer is that there are three no’s, either spoken or unspoken, that crush the spirit of communication in our homes. Sometimes these don’ts are subtle, sometimes they are very clear and very loud. Either way, they become our “truth” about how we should show up in the world.
Here are the 3 Don’ts that crush our ability to succeed:
1. Don’t Talk
Imagine you’re 8 or 10 years old and your dad comes home from work after a tough day at the office. You’ve got questions about why a hippopotamus has such a fat face. So, you start explaining and setting up your question when your dad looks at you with that look. That “don’t talk to me right now look”.
It doesn’t take too many attempts for you to come to believe that what annoys people is talking to them. As a result, you don’t talk unless someone talks to your first. Even then, we keep answers short.
In other homes, it may be much more direct. I have a coaching client who was told by his father “Do not speak unless spoken to.” You can’t get much more clear than that. Finally, “don’t talk” may mean don’t talk about anything important or too personal.
The bottom line is “Don’t Talk” crushes any hope of effective communication. Next time you’re visiting the folks at home, or visiting siblings, see if you can spot the “don’t talk” rule in effect.
“Don’t be afraid to speak your mind.”
2. Don’t Trust
If you live in a world where most people are not to be trusted, it’s going to be very difficult to communicate openly and honestly with people, especially people with whom you want to have a working relationship.
In my home, there were always “bad guys” out in the world. Maybe it was my dad’s boss, or the government, or that suspicious neighbor down the street. My guess is there were “bad guys” in your house too. And we all know we don’t trust bad guys.
The trouble is, we were never given specifics about what makes a bad guy bad. We just picked up that there are a lot of bad people out there. After all, when you live in a house for 18-20 years you’re going to store away a lot of conversations about bad guys.
The other way we learn “don’t trust” is through broken promises. For instance, when our mom, dad, brother, sister, grandparents, or other people we look up to promises to invest time with us and then something happens and they don’t… again… then, our excitement turns to sadness. We quickly learn “don’t trust” because, well, trusting hurts and never works out.
3. Don’t Feel
This third don’t is often the result of the other two. It’s a coping mechanism. If we’re not to talk and if we’re not to trust, then the natural next step is “don’t feel.” As I said, this tends to be a result of wanting to talk, being shut down, and experiencing pain.
It’s a result of trusting, our trust being betrayed, and us experiencing the pain. Repeat that cycle a few times and we learn it’s probably best if we simply “don’t feel” from the start. As you think back to your home growing up, you’ll probably begin to see one, two, or all three of these “don’ts” were present in your home.
What’s tough to understand is that most of these rules were also rules in our parents’ homes. It’s a learned behavior. Unfortunately, many of our parents didn’t have access to articles like this one or to sites like Addicted2success where they could notice and unlearn these subtle but deadly rules.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
So, next time you notice that little voice in your head saying, “don’t talk”, “don’t trust”, or “don’t feel”, question where it comes from and then ask if not talking, not trusting or not feeling is going to improve or crush your ability to succeed in that moment. If it’s crush, then speak up, trust, and feel into the power and opportunity of the moment.
What No’s do you have trouble with the most? Comment below!
Did You Know
How to Turn a Simple Link-in-Bio Into a Powerful Brand Hub
Transform your forgotten bio link into a high-impact gateway that fuels engagement, clicks, and conversions across every social platform.

Social media is one of the greatest marketing tools in 2025. According to a recent study, some 86% of marketers globally use platforms like Facebook and Instagram for advertisements, while 94% use it for content distribution. (more…)
Personal Development
These 11 Habits Will Make You More Productive, Successful, and Confident
Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.

Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.
But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.
Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.
1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task
Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.
After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.
Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.
But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.
2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First
Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.
Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”
For example, if you’re a writer:
-
Research your topic at night.
-
Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).
-
Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.
You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.
3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace
Focus is the foundation of success.
According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.
Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.
Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.
4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life
Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”
This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.
If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.
5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills
Knowledge compounds over time.
Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.
I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.
Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.
6. Develop a Growth Mindset
Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.
-
A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.
-
A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.
Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.
7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You
I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.
If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.
Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.
Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.
8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions
Good mentors can fast-track your growth.
While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.
If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.
9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations
Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”
Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.
When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.
10. Focus on Your Strengths
Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.
If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.
A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.
Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.
11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs
Your beliefs shape your reality.
For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.
Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.
Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.
Final Thoughts
Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.
Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.
Success Advice
Why One-Size-Fits-All Leadership Will Always Fail (and What Works Instead)
The surprising truth about leadership styles that can make or break your team’s success.

Leadership has always been as much about people as it is about performance. Ken Blanchard, in his influential book, “The One Minute Manager”, put it simply: different strokes for different folks. (more…)
Success Advice
What Every New CEO Must Do in Their First 100 Days (or Risk Failure)
Your first 100 days as CEO could define your entire legacy, here’s how to make every move count

When Tim Cook took over from Steve Jobs at Apple, the world watched with bated breath. Jobs wasn’t just a CEO; he was a visionary, an icon, and a legend of innovative leadership. (more…)
-
Entrepreneurs4 weeks ago
What Makes an Entrepreneurial Leader? Traits of the World’s Best Innovators
-
Entrepreneurs3 weeks ago
The Leadership Shift Every Company Needs in 2025
-
Change Your Mindset3 weeks ago
7 Goal-Setting Mistakes That Are Secretly Sabotaging Your Success
-
Success Advice2 weeks ago
What Every New CEO Must Do in Their First 100 Days (or Risk Failure)
-
Success Advice2 weeks ago
Why One-Size-Fits-All Leadership Will Always Fail (and What Works Instead)
-
Business2 weeks ago
The Entrepreneur’s Reading List That Transforms Ideas Into Empires
-
Business1 week ago
What Every Fitness Business Owner Needs To Know About Relocating Their Gym
-
Personal Development5 days ago
These 11 Habits Will Make You More Productive, Successful, and Confident