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The Surprising Secret About Growth and Change



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Innovation and change drive business growth, but there’s one piece about growth and change that business owners and entrepreneurs often overlook. It’s not the most fun or glamorous piece, but if you recognize and accept it, the payoff is huge. This is particularly crucial for self-employed business owners when there’s little to no separation between yourself and your business. When your level of success equates to how much you have personally developed. I call it Growth Jet Lag, and when you know how to navigate it, you set yourself up for lasting success.

The essential nature of change

The past several months have been a master class in change and adaptability. For some, myself included, it’s been a time of gaining incredible clarity. This sharpened understanding and focus necessarily brings about change. Positive change, but change nonetheless. 

For others, it’s been about pivoting or evolving. Maybe you made changes to how you work or the services you provide. Maybe you had to reinvent yourself or find your way back to solid ground financially. While these changes may have been born out of necessity, they are still a positive step forward. 

It stands to reason that if you’re doing what needs to be done, it will pay off in the end. But have you noticed there seems to be a gap between the doing and the payoff? 

You may be more confident than ever that you’re on the right track, yet you’re left waiting for the results. You’re waiting for people to notice the changes you’ve made. You’re waiting for the work to pour in. You’re waiting, and it’s frustrating, because you’ve done the hard work of gaining clarity and making changes. So what gives?

“In life, change is inevitable. In business, change is vital.” – Warren Bennis

The waiting game

I’ve seen many entrepreneurs and self-employed business owners during this time of unexpected change define their clear brand message. Others have crystalized what’s most marketable about their business and created a clear path forward. Many business owners have made necessary changes in their businesses and their branding to stay relevant in order to move forward. Even during these challenging times. 

And then they wait. They wait for more clients to show up. They wait for the world to notice. They wait for all the changes they made to make a difference. They wait because of a very real phenomenon called Growth Jet Lag. Without knowing what Growth Jet Lag is and what’s going on, too many people will get discouraged by the delayed results. And the last thing I want is for anyone to give up after working so hard to make positive changes. 

Factoring growth jet lag into change

Growth Jet Lag is what happens between you making changes in your life and business and people actually noticing them. For some period of time after you’ve evolved, rebranded, or made changes, it will seem like no one is noticing. In reality, they just haven’t caught up yet. 

You can sort of look at it as an algorithm. A universal algorithm that scans the entire world. How many times would it have to pass or scan before it picked up every little change? 

When I started my podcast several years ago, someone gave me the wise advice to always release episodes on a consistent basis. Same day and same time every week. Sticking with a consistent day and time of week makes it easier for the iTunes algorithm to pick up the new episodes.

The same is true here. For some unknown time after you’ve made changes or gained clarity, you need to just keep going. Consistently. Keep going until there are enough passes of the algorithm if you will, for it to be noticed. Factoring Growth Jet Lag into the changes you make in business and in life will motivate you to hang in until the results kick in.

Accepting change takes time

There are lots of examples from personal life that mirror the business reality of it. Think about when someone breaks trust with you. They can make the changes in themselves to regain your trust. They can vow to never break your trust again. But it’s still going to take some time and consistent behavior before you really accept it and rebuild trust. It’s not like someone can just proclaim, “Ok, I’ve changed!” and everyone around them is going to believe it.

I remember when I was divorcing many years ago, getting great advice from a therapist about telling our three kids. She said, “Now remember, you and your wife have known this was coming for a long time. You’ve been far more aware of the problems. To your kids, they are just finding out. Give them time to catch up.” Such valuable advice. 

“Change is the heartbeat of growth.” – Scottie Somers

Giving your clients a chance to catch up

Your prospective clients need that same grace. The same opportunity to catch up. When you make business changes, gain clarity, or pivot, it’s going to take time for the world around you to catch up. How much time will they need? There’s no magic number, but in my experience it often ends up being 3-6 months. Again, there’s no definite amount of time here. Just based on years of coaching small business owners. My hope is that by knowing this and expecting this to be the case, you’ll have the patience to persevere. 

I know it can seem like a lifetime when you’re so excited about moving forward. You’ve done the right things. You’ve made the right changes. You’ve gained clarity about the work you want to do and who you want to serve. 

That’s awesome, and it’s the most important work you can do. Now you just have to wait a bit and maybe a bit longer for people to catch up. All that remains is to be consistent and keep going.

Don’t give up on the business you love if the changes you’ve made aren’t being noticed yet. Wait for the world to catch up instead. You’ll be glad you did. 

Small business consultant, and speaker, Jeffrey Shaw is the author of LINGO: Discover Your Ideal Customer’s Secret Language and Make Your Business Irresistible and The Self-Employed Life: Business and Personal Development Strategies That Create Sustainable Success. Jeffrey's TEDxLincoln Square talk is featured on and he's the host of the top-rated podcast, The Self-Employed Life. Please connect with Jeffrey at or Instagram.

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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