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The Fat Kid Who Proved Everyone Wrong – 4 Key Lessons About Life

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Fat Kid

Let’s just say that I didn’t have the best childhood in the world. My parents divorced when I was five years old and that destroyed my life. I developed a severe case of anxiety. What did I do to cope with the pain? I ate. And I ate a lot.

I became the fat kid of the class who sucked at sports. Do you remember the guy that got picked last for sports? That was my childhood. I got picked on at school and life at home was not the best. I soon started feeling like I had no control over my life. This sense of being powerless made me develop a stutter.

By the time I was 14 I had lost complete control over my life and I was thinking about ending it.

For some reason I decided to join a gym on a New Year’s Resolution and that was it. That became my escape.

It took me 7 years of GRINDING to get where I am now but the lessons that I learned where priceless.

Lesson 1 – Don’t be afraid to create your own path

I’ve always been a nerd so it was natural for me to approach the gym with science. I started counting macronutrients when I was 15. There were no applications or programs for me to use back then.

I would constantly carry notebook and a calculator making calculations concerning the foods I was eating. I needed to make sure that I was consuming the EXACT amount of protein, carbs and fat in each of my meals.

I also had to make sure I was eating my meals at the exact times of the day. Everyone looked at me weird for doing this. I didn’t care. I knew that with time this was going to pay off.

Lesson 2 – Work your ass off

I lived by the following motto: “I don’t care if you’re better than me. I will work a hundred times harder than you. If I lose, it will not be because someone worked harder than me”

Every day at 3:15 I would raise my hand in class and run to my locker and get my pre workout meal. I would go eat it in the bathroom. Why? I wanted to have the exact amount of carbohydrates exactly 45 minutes before I was going to work out.

Every little detail counted. In the gym I worked out until I was about to faint. During my free time I would spend hours and hours researching every single aspect of training and nutrition.

Fridays were my favorite day of the week. Why? I could workout for 2 extra hours cause there wasn’t any school the next day.

Lesson 3 – Losing everything makes you stronger

I realized I was motivated to compete in bodybuilding my senior year in high school. But there was one problem.

I was born with a deformity where my chest bone and rib cage sank into my body. This did not look pretty at all and gave my entire upper body a very weird look.

I was so determined to accomplish my goal that I went through a surgery where they inserted a metal bar underneath my chest bone to push the entire rib cage outwards.

Imagine braces but for your chest bone and rib cage. I couldn’t work out for 6 months and my recovery was almost a year. I lost every single pound of muscle I had ever gained.

Do you think my friends supported me? They would constantly remind me that I looked anorexic.

Recovering from that surgery and gaining all my muscle back gave me the confidence to know that I could lose it all and would still manage to find the way to gain everything back.

That experience gave me more confidence than anything else. And yes. I still have a metal bar in my chest.

Lesson 4 – Embrace the haters

Everyone around me told me I wasn’t going to make it. Everyone around me told me that my tactics were weird and wrong. Trainers at my gym would mock me and tell me I would never get anywhere without steroids.

I took all of this as fuel to the fire. I knew that one day they were going to blush at what I was going to attain.

Prove people wrong just once and you will NEVER doubt yourself again. You will start believing you can do anything.

Lesson 5 – Each Day Counts

How fast you accomplish your goals is completely up to you. Each you have an opportunity to do one more thing that will get you closer towards your vision.

Christmas parties? I took my own meals to every single Christmas party and every single birthday. I refused to break my diet no matter the occasion.

I will admit that I went to a few parties throughout high school but I would always end up leaving towards the middle to go buy some yogurt from a gas station.

 

What happened with my stutter?

At age 19 I realized how much I had overcome. I realized that I finally had the power to control the course of my life.

This realization made me realize that I too had control over my speech. After one week of confidently talking to people, my stutter disappeared.

 

Sebastian is the mastermind behind Shots Of Insight. In his own words: "Dare to be DIFFERENT - It's a lot more fun that way. Life is way too short to settle for a boring life." Head over to his site and take a shot every single Friday morning.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Zarina

    May 15, 2017 at 3:12 pm

    Wow, this is amazing! I’m currently trying to lose weight and it’s been really hard; it seems like my parents are pushing me for their own gain because I’m not the skinniest teenage girl. I have no motivation and people, things, always stop me. I’m really proud of you, you’ve come a long way! Keep being strong 🙂

  2. Sayeret

    Jun 28, 2016 at 5:58 am

    Your story has really inspired me. It made me think how I was always the “fat” kid who always got picked last for sports. Now I’m getting better. I am eating a lot better now and its all thanks to your amazing and inspiring article. Thank you so much?Keep up the good work

  3. Emma

    Nov 6, 2013 at 9:23 pm

    WOW! You are a living testimony I have really been inspired by your story and I will now start to write my own .I have been told to give up and that my efforts will amount to nothing but I have faith and I will never give up. Thank you!

  4. From Loser to Hero

    Nov 3, 2013 at 6:27 am

    Great post. Really inspiring. I keep fingers crossed for you. Good luck.

    • Sebastian

      Nov 8, 2013 at 12:38 am

      Best of luck to you, wish you the best!

  5. Kay

    Oct 30, 2013 at 6:33 am

    Wow..you inspired me so much!!
    I am 20 years old girl on wheelchair, some years ago I almost give up..but i dont why, I started taking physiotherapy and other exercises. Now I am in love with my life.
    After reading your post,. One thing came into my mind ”If you can do this then hell yes..I can do it too..”
    I will walk, dance and run..
    I will post my story.. 🙂
    Thanks for the motivation..

    • Sebastian

      Oct 31, 2013 at 1:40 pm

      Wow, no, thank you! I wish you all the strength in the world. I’ll be waiting for you story. Never give up.

  6. Maxwell Ivey

    Oct 29, 2013 at 10:21 pm

    Hello; thanks for sharing your inspirational story. as the fat kid in school i was only asked first for red rover. In the last few years I have been treated for sleep apnea had gastric surgery and lost over 240 pounds. I am now at 6 ft 4 and 265 with a little more work to go. I have gone a lon way towards being a success with my business as an amusement equipment reseller, and I happen to be blind. I am 47 now and look forward to every new day. Thanks again and take care, max

    • Sebastian

      Oct 30, 2013 at 3:26 am

      Wow, that is a story far more impressive than mine. Dude, I’m very curious by nature, so take this the best way possible. If you’re blind, how do you manage to read articles and comment on people’s posts?

  7. Sebastian

    Oct 29, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    Thank you, you’re making me blush

  8. Mush Bola Maluleka

    Oct 29, 2013 at 6:39 am

    Niecly, done mate! Keep kicking A$$, you are doing great!

  9. moniquepau

    Oct 29, 2013 at 3:46 am

    Very impressed by this! You will inspire a lot of people 🙂
    I think struggles are the pillars of life, they are needed to keep pushing you to become better. The best part about it is that you conquered each obstacle. It takes a certain kind of mind set for this kind of growth and overall positivity. I love it!

    • Sebastian

      Oct 29, 2013 at 4:07 am

      I don’t think great people are born, they can also be made. I used to be the most insecure person in the world. When I had a stutter, I barely talked to anyone for YEARS… I was afraid of everything. This was so bad I thought I would never be able to have a girlfriend.

      It was desperation that made me finally change. Desperation and reading a shit ton of motivational, how to, self help books.

      And yes… Struggles are the greatest blessing anyone could ever have. Embrace them. They shape who become.

  10. Kevin

    Oct 29, 2013 at 2:46 am

    Congrats!! Always great to see people pursuing a vision. Keep up the great work and let us know what your next steps are

    • Sebastian

      Oct 29, 2013 at 4:05 am

      Next steps are… boxing, motocross, guitar and singing. Seriously. Prove people wrong ONCE and you will start believing you can do anything.

  11. shobelyn

    Oct 28, 2013 at 10:26 pm

    Oh my. I applaud you for your unwavering self will. That is amazing. I am trying to lose some weight and become healthy, but the things that make me not stick to my weight loss plan are just too strong. It is so difficult to stick to the plan and going to the gym is a lot of hard work. I’d rather sleep. You are inspiring. I wish I will have a little bit of your strong motivation. AMAZINg !

    • Sebastian

      Oct 29, 2013 at 1:10 am

      Honestly Shobelyn, I’m not sure what to tell you other than you have to want it bad. I hit rock bottom before starting to go the gym. I had chronic depression and extreme anxiety. I started doing this because I needed it to save my life.

      Other than… I read TONS of motivational and self help books in order to motivate me. I’ve probably read at least 85% of the articles here at addicted2success.

      Everyone experiences that spark of motivation. Now, what are you going to do to keep that spark lit?

      • Jason

        Dec 1, 2013 at 2:53 pm

        I would love to know 1 or 2 books that helped you the most. I am not very motivated at this time due to my own depression and anxiety. Thanks so much.

        • Sebastian

          Dec 9, 2013 at 1:30 pm

          Psychocybernetics. Psychocybernetics. And Psychocybernetics. 😉

  12. Mark Barlow

    Oct 28, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    Dude I have the concave chest thing too, how much did your surgery cost? It looks expensive!

    • Sebastian

      Oct 29, 2013 at 1:06 am

      I’m actually from Paraguay and let’s just say that things are pretty cheap there. My doctor had only performed that surgery 3 times before me so… it was definitely a wild ride.

      Have you been on the pectusinfo forums? Go to my blog, or one of my channels, and contact me if you want more information on the surgery.

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Motivation

You Can’t Be 100% Motivated And On Fire All The Time So Stop Trying To Be.

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Right now, I’m not feeling that motivated. In fact, I haven’t felt very inspired or motivated all week. Given that motivating and inspiring others is my passion and it’s what I do every day, you’d think my career was over. You’d think maybe I have no more positivity left in me.

Even the most inspirational people in the world have times when nothing happens.

I recently watched Gary Vaynerchuk give advice to a young teenager. The teenager said:

“Gary, my girlfriend broke up with me and a relative just died. The last two weeks are hell.”

Gary took a few deep breaths and you just knew he was going to say something epic – and he did.

He said to the boy “Two weeks of lows doesn’t define the rest of your life.”

 

We’re all entitled to be down for a bit.

What I learned from Gary is that we are all going to have times during our life where nothing sticks. In the last few weeks, I’ve missed several great career opportunities, had a lot of rejection, seen a slump in shares/likes on some social media platforms and had some personal challenges.

All of this is normal.

 

What’s not normal is what you see online.

That’s the real point here. What is normal has been overshadowed by all the self-help, success talk that happens online 24/7. We’re being bombarded by it and we think we have to be motivated 100% of the time.

If we have a day when we’re not inspired, we think something is wrong. In my case, given my profession, it’s even harder. There’s this stigma that I have to be some perfect human being to do what I do. That’s BS.

It’s normal for anyone you admire and even your heroes to have low points or long periods of nothing – that’s the actual norm. The highlight reel you see online of the people you follow is what’s not normal. No one lives life like how we see people living online.

The cameras are only with these people of influence some of the time. What you didn’t see was them taking a dump or having an argument with their partner.

All you saw was a highly edited success reel of what they wanted you to see so they could send you to a landing page, put up a payment wall and monetize you. That’s what being motivated 100% of the time told them to do.

You can’t blame them entirely.

What the internet really needs is more of the truth. That is, more people talking about what goes wrong, more people documenting what’s really happening.

In simple terms, the internet needs less perceived perfection and success, and more of what’s real like disappointment, f*ck ups and challenges.

 

Not being motivated is where it all happens.

The opposite of what we’re led to believe is true. It’s during the moments of zero inspiration, bugger all motivation and low points that we discover who we are. It’s in our weakest moments that our strength, resilience and courage is built.

What I’ve learned during my recent low moments is that if I can handle this sh*t, then I can handle anything.

“Motivation comes from eating crap for dinner every day of the week and still persisting with your goals”

I’m writing these words today and not really feeling like it. It’s the art of doing even through the tough times that allows me to have a 60-second highlight reel on social media that makes me look like a freaking god that goes viral all over the internet hourly.

My success highlight reel looks very impressive and it sounds fantastic during one of the speeches I give. In job interviews, it really helps. When I pitch for business, it gives me credibility.

Our success highlight reels look freaking phenomenal but it’s 0.99% of the actual story.

If humans are motivated by storytelling, then let’s start telling the real story.

We’re not f*cking motivated 100% of the time so let’s stop pretending we are. Cheers to the moments when we feel like dirt and keep going.

 

Then everything changes.

What do I mean? This week I have no motivation but I already sense that next week is shaping up to be a big one. I find out about a number of life-changing opportunities. Knowing I could get through a tough week and be cool to keep inspiring gives me hope. That hope translates into strength.

Next week could be a disaster and these so-called life-changing opportunities could all amount to a mound of dust and broken dreams. But because I survived the tough times I know I can excel during times when I plateau, go backwards or even experience massive growth.

“It only takes one moment for everything to change and before you know it you’re 100 steps ahead of where you thought you’d be”

 

Quit the game.

The game of endless success. The rat race that is showing how perfect you are.

Show up with your best self. If that best self is 1% motivated or 100% motivated it doesn’t matter. The fact you showed up and got through the quicksand of life is all that counts. Sometimes that struggle will look like winning an Oscar and other times that struggle will look like pissing your pants.

Take a step back and see the bigger picture.

No one (including me) needs to, or is, motivated 100% of the time.

You don’t need to be either.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

2 Things You Need to Know: How to Hack Motivation With Avoidance and Approach Goals

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how to hack motivation

Motivation is a sneaky beast. It can hide in plain sight, and it can express itself when we least expect it. Motivation (and its frequent companion inspiration) can often elude us for days, weeks or years, only to jump out at in an instant with such force that we drop everything in order to capture it before we lose the moment.

Often times, these random “attacks of motivation” happen with little warning, when we are least prepared to take advantage of them. For instance, how many of you have had a moment of clarity or have felt motivated to act on some idea while in the shower? How many of you have perhaps had a similar feeling when going for a run or driving to work? Motivation can come at any time and in any way. Unfortunately, the very randomness keeps us from being able to act effectively to get more done. So what do we do to take hold of our lives and guide our own sources of motivation?

To get more done in less time, we need to understand the power of two types of motivation. Once we explore each of these types of motivation, we must learn to set goals around both to create positive feedback loops. This will make it easier for us to develop stronger motivational habits and take control of what motivates us.

While there are many ways to define motivation, today I will focus on two types: avoidance and approach motivation. The way we will define both types of motivation provides an in-depth look into how we see the world, and ultimately how successful we will be in it.

1. What is avoidance motivation?

Avoidance motivation is part of what makes us human, and it is integral to our survival. This type of motivation helps us avoid negative experiences across psychological, physical, and social boundaries. It’s what told us to run away from saber-toothed tigers or to not dive into shark infested waters looking for food. Clearly, avoidance is a good way of staying safe in a world of unknowns. Unsure about what your boss thinks about your last project? It’s best not to ask to avoid disappointment or emotional trauma. Considering whether to apply for a job in another country? Best to avoid it in case you like the culture.

Unfortunately, avoidance motivation often has negative consequences. It makes us more likely to avoid tasks that we know rationally will be positive experiences for us. It makes us avoid going for that big promotion we aren’t necessarily qualified for. It makes us not get on that airplane to travel to that new new country and experience that new culture.

“Press forward. Do not stop, do not linger in your journey, but strive for the mark set before you.” — George Whitefield

2. What is approach motivation?

Approach motivation is any type of motivation that drives action and forward progress towards a certain outcome or activity. It’s what pushes the nerdy high school kid to talk to their crush in the hallway. It’s what drives the explorer to see what the view looks like from the top of the tallest mountain. It’s the itch the traveller gets when they go too long without taking a trip. It’s what inspired humans to explore outer space. Rather than avoiding certain activities, approach motivation drives individuals to explore and become more productive in their day-to-day existence.

When we consider approach motivation, the most often cited examples relate to feelings of opportunity, fulfilment and exploration. When you see an opportunity to achieve some goal that falls along Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, you are more likely to take action. When you see the opportunity to grow your pool of resources, that may motivate you to take action (strengthening your ability to provide food and shelter to yourself and your family). Similarly, you may see the opportunity to gain recognition or acclaim through appearing on television or writing a blog post. This feeds your ability to achieve self-fulfilment, belonging and perhaps even self-actualisation.

“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” — Sam Levenson

So how do we take this information and action it? How do we make it useful on a day-to-day basis?

The best way to leverage the lessons of approach and avoidance motivation is to set goals that align with each type of motivation. Take the following approach to help guide you on the path to taking control of what motivates you:

First, understand the difference between avoidance and approach goals. Most people will find that they tend to avoid activities that are unpleasant to them, all the while approaching those activities that are most enjoyable or fulfilling. Let’s think of approach goals as positive (i.e. finishing a project ahead of schedule, finding a new job) and avoidance goals as negative (i.e. avoiding drinking too much, avoiding talking in public).

Avoidance goals are goals for reducing, avoiding or eliminating undesired outcomes. While these goals are powerful, they are often harder to accomplish. You may want to cut down the number of sweets you eat each day, the number of cigarettes you smoke, the total time you spend watching Netflix. These types of goals work, sometimes, but they are much more likely to stick if you spin them to an approach goal with a positive spin.

Approach goals aim to guide someone to reach or maintain a desired outcome. People are more likely to commit to completing tasks and taking part in activities that are positioned in a positive light. Approach goals become more potent motivational goals because they focus on action and activity around what can be done to reach a goal.

If you want to get better at setting and following through on your personal and career goals, make a point of creating both approach and avoid goals and being aware of the subtle differences between both.

Do you have any approach or avoidance goals that have been particularly challenging to reach? Would love to hear about them!

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Motivation

Motivational Advice You Never Hear From Elon Musk

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elon musk

Elon Musk is the hottest entrepreneur on the planet right now. From launching an electric car into space, selling flamethrowers on Twitter, and tunneling holes throughout the country, his unconventional ventures are inspiring millions.

It should come as no surprise that his motivational advice is unconventional, as well. Motivational content can become cliche and overused. Every now and then, you need to hear an opposing idea to challenge your way of thinking.

Here are 3 things from Elon Musk you never hear from motivational blogs that will shake you up and make you reconsider your approach:

Quote #1: “If you need inspiring words, don’t do it.”

Entrepreneurs don’t read motivational blog posts all day. They have real life problems that they need to find real life solutions to. If they have a hiring need, they contact recruitment agencies, compare costs for different vendors, implement solutions, test results, and learn from their experiences. Inspiring words are a shot of espresso to boost their performance, not the food pyramid that nourishes their body to keep going throughout the day.

A motivational quote or video might inspire them for a moment, but they certainly are not spending hours pouring through the self-help section at Barnes and Nobles. If that is you, reconsider whether you are addicted to being motivated or you are addicted to whatever it is you want to do. If you’re an aspiring writer, are you spending more time reading how to write, or are you spending more time actually writing? Audit your behavior and be honest with yourself.

If you are relying on external motivation to keep you going on a project, then once that external motivation is gone, you slow down. You must find something deeper within yourself to keep pushing through the hard times. Doubt is inevitable but failure is necessary.

Quote #2: “If something is important enough, even if the odds are against you, you should still do it.”

People tell you to play it safe, find a mentor, research your market, make sure there is demand. All of this is conventional wisdom. It’s not bad advice, but it’s what everyone is told and it’s what everyone is doing. If Elon Musk listened to this advice he would not be Elon Musk.

Elon Musk revolutionized two industries that people never would have thought to enter. Tesla became the first American car company to go public since Ford Motor Company in 1956. When starting SpaceX, one of his friends collected several clips of rockets blowing up and made him watch a video. Elon proves if you want to make it big, you have to take a big risk.

Most importantly, if you want to succeed, you have to do something you are passionate about. Elon Musk could have made it rich in any other industry doing something far less complicated. Instead, he chose to pursue his passion for making the world a better place by providing alternative energy transportation and creating a new movement of space travel to save humanity.

He gave himself a 10% chance of success rate with both companies when he started. He chose to start them anyway. If you have nothing to risk, you have nothing to gain. The reward is proportional to the risk. If something is important to you, you will pursue it in spite of any amount of risk you might face.

Quote #3: “You should take the approach that you’re wrong. Your goal is to be less wrong.”

Most people avoid criticism. Criticism shows us we might be something wrong. We were raised to avoid being wrong but Elon Musk actively seeks it. Criticism shows you how you can improve and learn.

You learn nothing when someone tells you what you’re doing right. It might feel good, but like it is said in the movie Whiplash, “There are no two words in the English language more harmful than ‘good job’.” Feeling good breeds contentment and leads you to a place of complacency.

Of course, most of us are not Elon Musk and do not operate at his level of intensity. You might decide relentless improvement is not something you value or want in your life. Nothing is wrong with being content and happy with where you are in life. A continual desire for improvement does not mean you need to be discontent with everything. You can choose how far you want to go on your journey of self-improvement and success.

In a world where companies try to pretend like everything is going right, Elon Musk takes the opposite approach. He pretends like everything is going wrong, and he wants to make things less wrong. His approach opens the door for failure and welcomes the opportunity for improvement. Are you allowing yourself to fail? Are you acknowledging your flaws?

We all want to be like Elon Musk. Not all of us want to work 100+ hours a week. There is a middle ground somewhere where we can all learn from. Find your ‘why’ and let that inspire you. Don’t rely on motivational words to keep you going, use it as a supplement, not a meal. Lastly, when everyone is asking themself what is going well, ask yourself what is going wrong.

What do you think of Elon Musk? Comment below!

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Motivation

Struggling With Procrastination and Self-Doubt? Here’s How to Overcome Both

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Procrastination and self-doubt are two of the biggest killers of dreams and goals. I’ve been there more than once in my life regarding some important goal I set for myself to achieve. Only when it comes time to take physical action on my plans in the real world, and expose myself to rejection or failure, I start experiencing paralyzing self-doubt and fear. This turns into procrastination in the form of distractions that only create a false illusion I’m achieving my goals. In reality, I’m accomplishing nothing.

Have you ever been there? If left unchecked and unresolved in your life, this cycle of procrastination and self-doubt will soon become a habitual downward spiral where you can go for months without having produced any substantial results towards the goals. Eventually you’ll just give up on the entire goal altogether, leaving the hopes and dreams you had associated with that goal to be delayed even longer.

Here are my 3 best tips for overcoming this goal-killing self-perpetuating cycle of self-doubt and procrastination:

1. Winning The Mind/Body Game

If you’ve studied personal development for even a few minutes, you should already know that anything and everything we ever want to achieve or experience in life first starts in the mind. However, there’s also another component to the process that is just as important to develop control over, and that is the body.

Our minds can conjure up an unlimited number of ideas, solutions, and businesses with ease, but if the body isn’t activated effectively to carry out these ideas and bring them into physical reality, then nothing is accomplished and the ideas remain as only a figment of imagination, not benefiting anyone.

To overcome self-doubt and procrastination in your life, it’s first important to realize that you must become 100% acutely aware of these two components of yourself and how they operate. There is also a third component to who you are – the consciousness of you, some call it your Higher Self, which is in control of both mind and body.

We as humans have the ability, at any time that we choose, to use our conscious intention and a higher level of personal awareness to guide our thinking patterns and our physical actions in a very focused and productive way. If done this way, we can create certain desired outcomes and achieve our goals.

Without this level of self-awareness, you’ll be almost totally powerless to overcome the negative forces of self-doubt and procrastination once they start gaining momentum in your life. Know that you have the awesome creative ability to observe, evaluate, and correct your own thinking patterns and personal habits from this higher perspective.

“You have to change your thinking if you desire to have a future different from your present.” – Germany Kent

2. Developing Brutal Honesty

When we find ourselves caught in a negative cycle of procrastination and self-doubt, one critical action you should take right away is to become brutally honest with yourself about the situation. When I do this, I get out a notebook and start writing out all the things (thoughts, actions, behaviors) that I know I should be doing in order to achieve my goals, and then I write out all the things that I’m actually doing so that I can see the stark contrast between the two.

This makes it plainly obvious to me why my goals aren’t being reached, and what I can do to immediately change that trajectory. Then, I like to contemplate and visualize the pain I would experience by not seeing my goals accomplished, and compare that to the minimal amount of “pain” I may experience from taking appropriate action and staying true to my goals. At this point, it becomes clearly obvious which is the greater of the two pains – which is not achieving my goals and living with regret.

3. Third-Party Accountability

Once you’ve started getting an understanding of your mind/body connection, and developed brutal honesty with yourself, the best way to tie it all together is to establish a third-party accountability structure with a trustworthy person.

For this role, a professional accountability coach is by far the best investment anyone could make into their future. Similar to a life coach, an accountability coach is specifically focused on helping you stay 100% accountable (or as close to 100% as possible) to the daily actions, behaviors, and habits that are necessary for you to make your goals a reality.

Not only that, but a good accountability coach will also impart a heavy dose of motivation, inspiration, and positive energy with every interaction you have with them. They’ll help you believe in yourself even when you don’t. They’ll be a trusted partner who walks with you step-by-step through the journey of creating your dreams and goals.

“Choose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow you into your happiest, strongest, wisest self.” – Karen Salmansohn

The top-performers of every industry all rely on having specific types of coaches, consultants and mentors to help them follow-through on their goals and achieve excellence in their results. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t even be in those top positions of their field.

How much has procrastination and self-doubt affected you?  Leave a comment and let me know!

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You Don’t Have To Listen To Every Bit Of Career Feedback. Some People Just Don’t Get You And That’s Fine!

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I recently got rejected from what I thought was a fantastic career opportunity. I was told that I was “Not entrepreneurial enough.”

Those that know me well know that it’s probably one of the few things I’m good at. Many of my mentors who I told this story to laughed out loud.

These three words were career feedback and I was always led to believe that to ignore this feedback would be ignorant and stupid.

I pondered that thought for a few days and then had a revelation: “I don’t have to listen to every bit of feedback I get.”

 

Pissed off is a natural first reaction.

That’s how I felt after someone told me I was crap at the very thing I love and have dedicated most of my time to. Our brain wants to be angry and fight back. Our first reaction, though, is often not what we should pay attention to.

“Empty space and time to reflect is how we process career feedback for what it really is: an opinion”

Don’t let your first reaction dominate how you think about the feedback. Maturity that can come at any age will show you to question everything – even your reaction.

 

Some people just don’t get you.

You’re not their type, they don’t like you, you speak a different language or you may have different values. Not everyone is going to get you and what you stand for and that’s okay. In my case, I didn’t connect.

Buying into the circus that is me is not for everyone. If you don’t like vulnerability or breaking comfort zones, then you probably won’t like me.

If you’re not obsessed with big goals, doing the impossible and trying to improve just a little bit every day, then you probably won’t like me.

That’s okay and I forgive you. I don’t have all the answers and I’m far from perfect – like the rest of us.

Learn to accept that some people will never get you and what you’re about.

That realization is how we overcome career feedback that we may not agree with.

 

Sometimes it’s any excuse. The real answer is something different.

Feedback can be disguised by the truth. The truth is maybe there was someone else the whole time and I never had a chance at this career opportunity. Maybe it wasn’t me at all.

Sometimes feedback is given because the real reason is much harder to deliver. It’s not easy to say “Tim, thanks but we hired someone else and you were never in the running.”

Admitting you never even had a chance is something many of us would never want to say. Being brutally honest takes courage, and courage is not everyone’s kind of kebab with garlic sauce on top, sprinkles and chili flakes.

 

We all get rejected.

I nearly forgot this fact. Everyone gets rejected. In fact, right now, someone is being rejected.

Rejection is not limited to you and me; learning to deal with it will only help us, not hinder our ability to achieve success in any field.

“We’ve all got 99 problems and thinking you’re special will only create more pointless thoughts that won’t serve you or your goals”

 

You’re responsible.

The thing about career feedback is that you have to take responsibility. Maybe in my case, I didn’t deliver the message of how obsessed and skilled I am at entrepreneurship. Maybe I could have done a better job at explaining my entrepreneurial background and passion.

It’s highly likely that I am entrepreneurial enough for this career opportunity and that it’s not a lack of skill at play here but a lack of effective communication.

“Responsibility always trumps the blame game and it helps us grow more as a person”

 

There’s always one lesson.

Mine was to develop more skills in strategy.

Let’s stop for one second: I hate the word strategy. The other career feedback I got was to do more strategy yet that’s not a skill of mine and I have no desire to do lots of that in my career.

The key here is that there’s always a lesson from all feedback and it might not be the intended lesson that the giver left you with.

There’s either a great lesson in the feedback or a reminder in the feedback of what you stand for. Don’t let any feedback compromise your values and who you are.

 

You are good enough.

You just have to believe in yourself and eventually, the right opportunity will find you.

Don’t give up your hopes and dreams because of one rejection. Interrupt the story in your head that plays on repeat and focuses on anger towards another person.

Replace that story with thoughts of how you can do better and get to the next opportunity.

Through rejection and bad career feedback, you find your way to what you’ve always wanted. That’s the hack and it works.

I’m off to suck up the rejection and take my own advice. Much respect.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Zarina

    May 15, 2017 at 3:12 pm

    Wow, this is amazing! I’m currently trying to lose weight and it’s been really hard; it seems like my parents are pushing me for their own gain because I’m not the skinniest teenage girl. I have no motivation and people, things, always stop me. I’m really proud of you, you’ve come a long way! Keep being strong 🙂

  2. Sayeret

    Jun 28, 2016 at 5:58 am

    Your story has really inspired me. It made me think how I was always the “fat” kid who always got picked last for sports. Now I’m getting better. I am eating a lot better now and its all thanks to your amazing and inspiring article. Thank you so much?Keep up the good work

  3. Emma

    Nov 6, 2013 at 9:23 pm

    WOW! You are a living testimony I have really been inspired by your story and I will now start to write my own .I have been told to give up and that my efforts will amount to nothing but I have faith and I will never give up. Thank you!

  4. From Loser to Hero

    Nov 3, 2013 at 6:27 am

    Great post. Really inspiring. I keep fingers crossed for you. Good luck.

    • Sebastian

      Nov 8, 2013 at 12:38 am

      Best of luck to you, wish you the best!

  5. Kay

    Oct 30, 2013 at 6:33 am

    Wow..you inspired me so much!!
    I am 20 years old girl on wheelchair, some years ago I almost give up..but i dont why, I started taking physiotherapy and other exercises. Now I am in love with my life.
    After reading your post,. One thing came into my mind ”If you can do this then hell yes..I can do it too..”
    I will walk, dance and run..
    I will post my story.. 🙂
    Thanks for the motivation..

    • Sebastian

      Oct 31, 2013 at 1:40 pm

      Wow, no, thank you! I wish you all the strength in the world. I’ll be waiting for you story. Never give up.

  6. Maxwell Ivey

    Oct 29, 2013 at 10:21 pm

    Hello; thanks for sharing your inspirational story. as the fat kid in school i was only asked first for red rover. In the last few years I have been treated for sleep apnea had gastric surgery and lost over 240 pounds. I am now at 6 ft 4 and 265 with a little more work to go. I have gone a lon way towards being a success with my business as an amusement equipment reseller, and I happen to be blind. I am 47 now and look forward to every new day. Thanks again and take care, max

    • Sebastian

      Oct 30, 2013 at 3:26 am

      Wow, that is a story far more impressive than mine. Dude, I’m very curious by nature, so take this the best way possible. If you’re blind, how do you manage to read articles and comment on people’s posts?

  7. Sebastian

    Oct 29, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    Thank you, you’re making me blush

  8. Mush Bola Maluleka

    Oct 29, 2013 at 6:39 am

    Niecly, done mate! Keep kicking A$$, you are doing great!

  9. moniquepau

    Oct 29, 2013 at 3:46 am

    Very impressed by this! You will inspire a lot of people 🙂
    I think struggles are the pillars of life, they are needed to keep pushing you to become better. The best part about it is that you conquered each obstacle. It takes a certain kind of mind set for this kind of growth and overall positivity. I love it!

    • Sebastian

      Oct 29, 2013 at 4:07 am

      I don’t think great people are born, they can also be made. I used to be the most insecure person in the world. When I had a stutter, I barely talked to anyone for YEARS… I was afraid of everything. This was so bad I thought I would never be able to have a girlfriend.

      It was desperation that made me finally change. Desperation and reading a shit ton of motivational, how to, self help books.

      And yes… Struggles are the greatest blessing anyone could ever have. Embrace them. They shape who become.

  10. Kevin

    Oct 29, 2013 at 2:46 am

    Congrats!! Always great to see people pursuing a vision. Keep up the great work and let us know what your next steps are

    • Sebastian

      Oct 29, 2013 at 4:05 am

      Next steps are… boxing, motocross, guitar and singing. Seriously. Prove people wrong ONCE and you will start believing you can do anything.

  11. shobelyn

    Oct 28, 2013 at 10:26 pm

    Oh my. I applaud you for your unwavering self will. That is amazing. I am trying to lose some weight and become healthy, but the things that make me not stick to my weight loss plan are just too strong. It is so difficult to stick to the plan and going to the gym is a lot of hard work. I’d rather sleep. You are inspiring. I wish I will have a little bit of your strong motivation. AMAZINg !

    • Sebastian

      Oct 29, 2013 at 1:10 am

      Honestly Shobelyn, I’m not sure what to tell you other than you have to want it bad. I hit rock bottom before starting to go the gym. I had chronic depression and extreme anxiety. I started doing this because I needed it to save my life.

      Other than… I read TONS of motivational and self help books in order to motivate me. I’ve probably read at least 85% of the articles here at addicted2success.

      Everyone experiences that spark of motivation. Now, what are you going to do to keep that spark lit?

      • Jason

        Dec 1, 2013 at 2:53 pm

        I would love to know 1 or 2 books that helped you the most. I am not very motivated at this time due to my own depression and anxiety. Thanks so much.

        • Sebastian

          Dec 9, 2013 at 1:30 pm

          Psychocybernetics. Psychocybernetics. And Psychocybernetics. 😉

  12. Mark Barlow

    Oct 28, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    Dude I have the concave chest thing too, how much did your surgery cost? It looks expensive!

    • Sebastian

      Oct 29, 2013 at 1:06 am

      I’m actually from Paraguay and let’s just say that things are pretty cheap there. My doctor had only performed that surgery 3 times before me so… it was definitely a wild ride.

      Have you been on the pectusinfo forums? Go to my blog, or one of my channels, and contact me if you want more information on the surgery.

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Motivation

You Can’t Be 100% Motivated And On Fire All The Time So Stop Trying To Be.

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Right now, I’m not feeling that motivated. In fact, I haven’t felt very inspired or motivated all week. Given that motivating and inspiring others is my passion and it’s what I do every day, you’d think my career was over. You’d think maybe I have no more positivity left in me.

Even the most inspirational people in the world have times when nothing happens.

I recently watched Gary Vaynerchuk give advice to a young teenager. The teenager said:

“Gary, my girlfriend broke up with me and a relative just died. The last two weeks are hell.”

Gary took a few deep breaths and you just knew he was going to say something epic – and he did.

He said to the boy “Two weeks of lows doesn’t define the rest of your life.”

 

We’re all entitled to be down for a bit.

What I learned from Gary is that we are all going to have times during our life where nothing sticks. In the last few weeks, I’ve missed several great career opportunities, had a lot of rejection, seen a slump in shares/likes on some social media platforms and had some personal challenges.

All of this is normal.

 

What’s not normal is what you see online.

That’s the real point here. What is normal has been overshadowed by all the self-help, success talk that happens online 24/7. We’re being bombarded by it and we think we have to be motivated 100% of the time.

If we have a day when we’re not inspired, we think something is wrong. In my case, given my profession, it’s even harder. There’s this stigma that I have to be some perfect human being to do what I do. That’s BS.

It’s normal for anyone you admire and even your heroes to have low points or long periods of nothing – that’s the actual norm. The highlight reel you see online of the people you follow is what’s not normal. No one lives life like how we see people living online.

The cameras are only with these people of influence some of the time. What you didn’t see was them taking a dump or having an argument with their partner.

All you saw was a highly edited success reel of what they wanted you to see so they could send you to a landing page, put up a payment wall and monetize you. That’s what being motivated 100% of the time told them to do.

You can’t blame them entirely.

What the internet really needs is more of the truth. That is, more people talking about what goes wrong, more people documenting what’s really happening.

In simple terms, the internet needs less perceived perfection and success, and more of what’s real like disappointment, f*ck ups and challenges.

 

Not being motivated is where it all happens.

The opposite of what we’re led to believe is true. It’s during the moments of zero inspiration, bugger all motivation and low points that we discover who we are. It’s in our weakest moments that our strength, resilience and courage is built.

What I’ve learned during my recent low moments is that if I can handle this sh*t, then I can handle anything.

“Motivation comes from eating crap for dinner every day of the week and still persisting with your goals”

I’m writing these words today and not really feeling like it. It’s the art of doing even through the tough times that allows me to have a 60-second highlight reel on social media that makes me look like a freaking god that goes viral all over the internet hourly.

My success highlight reel looks very impressive and it sounds fantastic during one of the speeches I give. In job interviews, it really helps. When I pitch for business, it gives me credibility.

Our success highlight reels look freaking phenomenal but it’s 0.99% of the actual story.

If humans are motivated by storytelling, then let’s start telling the real story.

We’re not f*cking motivated 100% of the time so let’s stop pretending we are. Cheers to the moments when we feel like dirt and keep going.

 

Then everything changes.

What do I mean? This week I have no motivation but I already sense that next week is shaping up to be a big one. I find out about a number of life-changing opportunities. Knowing I could get through a tough week and be cool to keep inspiring gives me hope. That hope translates into strength.

Next week could be a disaster and these so-called life-changing opportunities could all amount to a mound of dust and broken dreams. But because I survived the tough times I know I can excel during times when I plateau, go backwards or even experience massive growth.

“It only takes one moment for everything to change and before you know it you’re 100 steps ahead of where you thought you’d be”

 

Quit the game.

The game of endless success. The rat race that is showing how perfect you are.

Show up with your best self. If that best self is 1% motivated or 100% motivated it doesn’t matter. The fact you showed up and got through the quicksand of life is all that counts. Sometimes that struggle will look like winning an Oscar and other times that struggle will look like pissing your pants.

Take a step back and see the bigger picture.

No one (including me) needs to, or is, motivated 100% of the time.

You don’t need to be either.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Motivation

2 Things You Need to Know: How to Hack Motivation With Avoidance and Approach Goals

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Motivation is a sneaky beast. It can hide in plain sight, and it can express itself when we least expect it. Motivation (and its frequent companion inspiration) can often elude us for days, weeks or years, only to jump out at in an instant with such force that we drop everything in order to capture it before we lose the moment.

Often times, these random “attacks of motivation” happen with little warning, when we are least prepared to take advantage of them. For instance, how many of you have had a moment of clarity or have felt motivated to act on some idea while in the shower? How many of you have perhaps had a similar feeling when going for a run or driving to work? Motivation can come at any time and in any way. Unfortunately, the very randomness keeps us from being able to act effectively to get more done. So what do we do to take hold of our lives and guide our own sources of motivation?

To get more done in less time, we need to understand the power of two types of motivation. Once we explore each of these types of motivation, we must learn to set goals around both to create positive feedback loops. This will make it easier for us to develop stronger motivational habits and take control of what motivates us.

While there are many ways to define motivation, today I will focus on two types: avoidance and approach motivation. The way we will define both types of motivation provides an in-depth look into how we see the world, and ultimately how successful we will be in it.

1. What is avoidance motivation?

Avoidance motivation is part of what makes us human, and it is integral to our survival. This type of motivation helps us avoid negative experiences across psychological, physical, and social boundaries. It’s what told us to run away from saber-toothed tigers or to not dive into shark infested waters looking for food. Clearly, avoidance is a good way of staying safe in a world of unknowns. Unsure about what your boss thinks about your last project? It’s best not to ask to avoid disappointment or emotional trauma. Considering whether to apply for a job in another country? Best to avoid it in case you like the culture.

Unfortunately, avoidance motivation often has negative consequences. It makes us more likely to avoid tasks that we know rationally will be positive experiences for us. It makes us avoid going for that big promotion we aren’t necessarily qualified for. It makes us not get on that airplane to travel to that new new country and experience that new culture.

“Press forward. Do not stop, do not linger in your journey, but strive for the mark set before you.” — George Whitefield

2. What is approach motivation?

Approach motivation is any type of motivation that drives action and forward progress towards a certain outcome or activity. It’s what pushes the nerdy high school kid to talk to their crush in the hallway. It’s what drives the explorer to see what the view looks like from the top of the tallest mountain. It’s the itch the traveller gets when they go too long without taking a trip. It’s what inspired humans to explore outer space. Rather than avoiding certain activities, approach motivation drives individuals to explore and become more productive in their day-to-day existence.

When we consider approach motivation, the most often cited examples relate to feelings of opportunity, fulfilment and exploration. When you see an opportunity to achieve some goal that falls along Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, you are more likely to take action. When you see the opportunity to grow your pool of resources, that may motivate you to take action (strengthening your ability to provide food and shelter to yourself and your family). Similarly, you may see the opportunity to gain recognition or acclaim through appearing on television or writing a blog post. This feeds your ability to achieve self-fulfilment, belonging and perhaps even self-actualisation.

“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” — Sam Levenson

So how do we take this information and action it? How do we make it useful on a day-to-day basis?

The best way to leverage the lessons of approach and avoidance motivation is to set goals that align with each type of motivation. Take the following approach to help guide you on the path to taking control of what motivates you:

First, understand the difference between avoidance and approach goals. Most people will find that they tend to avoid activities that are unpleasant to them, all the while approaching those activities that are most enjoyable or fulfilling. Let’s think of approach goals as positive (i.e. finishing a project ahead of schedule, finding a new job) and avoidance goals as negative (i.e. avoiding drinking too much, avoiding talking in public).

Avoidance goals are goals for reducing, avoiding or eliminating undesired outcomes. While these goals are powerful, they are often harder to accomplish. You may want to cut down the number of sweets you eat each day, the number of cigarettes you smoke, the total time you spend watching Netflix. These types of goals work, sometimes, but they are much more likely to stick if you spin them to an approach goal with a positive spin.

Approach goals aim to guide someone to reach or maintain a desired outcome. People are more likely to commit to completing tasks and taking part in activities that are positioned in a positive light. Approach goals become more potent motivational goals because they focus on action and activity around what can be done to reach a goal.

If you want to get better at setting and following through on your personal and career goals, make a point of creating both approach and avoid goals and being aware of the subtle differences between both.

Do you have any approach or avoidance goals that have been particularly challenging to reach? Would love to hear about them!

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Motivation

Motivational Advice You Never Hear From Elon Musk

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elon musk

Elon Musk is the hottest entrepreneur on the planet right now. From launching an electric car into space, selling flamethrowers on Twitter, and tunneling holes throughout the country, his unconventional ventures are inspiring millions.

It should come as no surprise that his motivational advice is unconventional, as well. Motivational content can become cliche and overused. Every now and then, you need to hear an opposing idea to challenge your way of thinking.

Here are 3 things from Elon Musk you never hear from motivational blogs that will shake you up and make you reconsider your approach:

Quote #1: “If you need inspiring words, don’t do it.”

Entrepreneurs don’t read motivational blog posts all day. They have real life problems that they need to find real life solutions to. If they have a hiring need, they contact recruitment agencies, compare costs for different vendors, implement solutions, test results, and learn from their experiences. Inspiring words are a shot of espresso to boost their performance, not the food pyramid that nourishes their body to keep going throughout the day.

A motivational quote or video might inspire them for a moment, but they certainly are not spending hours pouring through the self-help section at Barnes and Nobles. If that is you, reconsider whether you are addicted to being motivated or you are addicted to whatever it is you want to do. If you’re an aspiring writer, are you spending more time reading how to write, or are you spending more time actually writing? Audit your behavior and be honest with yourself.

If you are relying on external motivation to keep you going on a project, then once that external motivation is gone, you slow down. You must find something deeper within yourself to keep pushing through the hard times. Doubt is inevitable but failure is necessary.

Quote #2: “If something is important enough, even if the odds are against you, you should still do it.”

People tell you to play it safe, find a mentor, research your market, make sure there is demand. All of this is conventional wisdom. It’s not bad advice, but it’s what everyone is told and it’s what everyone is doing. If Elon Musk listened to this advice he would not be Elon Musk.

Elon Musk revolutionized two industries that people never would have thought to enter. Tesla became the first American car company to go public since Ford Motor Company in 1956. When starting SpaceX, one of his friends collected several clips of rockets blowing up and made him watch a video. Elon proves if you want to make it big, you have to take a big risk.

Most importantly, if you want to succeed, you have to do something you are passionate about. Elon Musk could have made it rich in any other industry doing something far less complicated. Instead, he chose to pursue his passion for making the world a better place by providing alternative energy transportation and creating a new movement of space travel to save humanity.

He gave himself a 10% chance of success rate with both companies when he started. He chose to start them anyway. If you have nothing to risk, you have nothing to gain. The reward is proportional to the risk. If something is important to you, you will pursue it in spite of any amount of risk you might face.

Quote #3: “You should take the approach that you’re wrong. Your goal is to be less wrong.”

Most people avoid criticism. Criticism shows us we might be something wrong. We were raised to avoid being wrong but Elon Musk actively seeks it. Criticism shows you how you can improve and learn.

You learn nothing when someone tells you what you’re doing right. It might feel good, but like it is said in the movie Whiplash, “There are no two words in the English language more harmful than ‘good job’.” Feeling good breeds contentment and leads you to a place of complacency.

Of course, most of us are not Elon Musk and do not operate at his level of intensity. You might decide relentless improvement is not something you value or want in your life. Nothing is wrong with being content and happy with where you are in life. A continual desire for improvement does not mean you need to be discontent with everything. You can choose how far you want to go on your journey of self-improvement and success.

In a world where companies try to pretend like everything is going right, Elon Musk takes the opposite approach. He pretends like everything is going wrong, and he wants to make things less wrong. His approach opens the door for failure and welcomes the opportunity for improvement. Are you allowing yourself to fail? Are you acknowledging your flaws?

We all want to be like Elon Musk. Not all of us want to work 100+ hours a week. There is a middle ground somewhere where we can all learn from. Find your ‘why’ and let that inspire you. Don’t rely on motivational words to keep you going, use it as a supplement, not a meal. Lastly, when everyone is asking themself what is going well, ask yourself what is going wrong.

What do you think of Elon Musk? Comment below!

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Motivation

Struggling With Procrastination and Self-Doubt? Here’s How to Overcome Both

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Procrastination and self-doubt are two of the biggest killers of dreams and goals. I’ve been there more than once in my life regarding some important goal I set for myself to achieve. Only when it comes time to take physical action on my plans in the real world, and expose myself to rejection or failure, I start experiencing paralyzing self-doubt and fear. This turns into procrastination in the form of distractions that only create a false illusion I’m achieving my goals. In reality, I’m accomplishing nothing.

Have you ever been there? If left unchecked and unresolved in your life, this cycle of procrastination and self-doubt will soon become a habitual downward spiral where you can go for months without having produced any substantial results towards the goals. Eventually you’ll just give up on the entire goal altogether, leaving the hopes and dreams you had associated with that goal to be delayed even longer.

Here are my 3 best tips for overcoming this goal-killing self-perpetuating cycle of self-doubt and procrastination:

1. Winning The Mind/Body Game

If you’ve studied personal development for even a few minutes, you should already know that anything and everything we ever want to achieve or experience in life first starts in the mind. However, there’s also another component to the process that is just as important to develop control over, and that is the body.

Our minds can conjure up an unlimited number of ideas, solutions, and businesses with ease, but if the body isn’t activated effectively to carry out these ideas and bring them into physical reality, then nothing is accomplished and the ideas remain as only a figment of imagination, not benefiting anyone.

To overcome self-doubt and procrastination in your life, it’s first important to realize that you must become 100% acutely aware of these two components of yourself and how they operate. There is also a third component to who you are – the consciousness of you, some call it your Higher Self, which is in control of both mind and body.

We as humans have the ability, at any time that we choose, to use our conscious intention and a higher level of personal awareness to guide our thinking patterns and our physical actions in a very focused and productive way. If done this way, we can create certain desired outcomes and achieve our goals.

Without this level of self-awareness, you’ll be almost totally powerless to overcome the negative forces of self-doubt and procrastination once they start gaining momentum in your life. Know that you have the awesome creative ability to observe, evaluate, and correct your own thinking patterns and personal habits from this higher perspective.

“You have to change your thinking if you desire to have a future different from your present.” – Germany Kent

2. Developing Brutal Honesty

When we find ourselves caught in a negative cycle of procrastination and self-doubt, one critical action you should take right away is to become brutally honest with yourself about the situation. When I do this, I get out a notebook and start writing out all the things (thoughts, actions, behaviors) that I know I should be doing in order to achieve my goals, and then I write out all the things that I’m actually doing so that I can see the stark contrast between the two.

This makes it plainly obvious to me why my goals aren’t being reached, and what I can do to immediately change that trajectory. Then, I like to contemplate and visualize the pain I would experience by not seeing my goals accomplished, and compare that to the minimal amount of “pain” I may experience from taking appropriate action and staying true to my goals. At this point, it becomes clearly obvious which is the greater of the two pains – which is not achieving my goals and living with regret.

3. Third-Party Accountability

Once you’ve started getting an understanding of your mind/body connection, and developed brutal honesty with yourself, the best way to tie it all together is to establish a third-party accountability structure with a trustworthy person.

For this role, a professional accountability coach is by far the best investment anyone could make into their future. Similar to a life coach, an accountability coach is specifically focused on helping you stay 100% accountable (or as close to 100% as possible) to the daily actions, behaviors, and habits that are necessary for you to make your goals a reality.

Not only that, but a good accountability coach will also impart a heavy dose of motivation, inspiration, and positive energy with every interaction you have with them. They’ll help you believe in yourself even when you don’t. They’ll be a trusted partner who walks with you step-by-step through the journey of creating your dreams and goals.

“Choose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow you into your happiest, strongest, wisest self.” – Karen Salmansohn

The top-performers of every industry all rely on having specific types of coaches, consultants and mentors to help them follow-through on their goals and achieve excellence in their results. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t even be in those top positions of their field.

How much has procrastination and self-doubt affected you?  Leave a comment and let me know!

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