Motivation
The Fat Kid Who Proved Everyone Wrong – 4 Key Lessons About Life
Let’s just say that I didn’t have the best childhood in the world. My parents divorced when I was five years old and that destroyed my life. I developed a severe case of anxiety. What did I do to cope with the pain? I ate. And I ate a lot.
I became the fat kid of the class who sucked at sports. Do you remember the guy that got picked last for sports? That was my childhood. I got picked on at school and life at home was not the best. I soon started feeling like I had no control over my life. This sense of being powerless made me develop a stutter.
By the time I was 14 I had lost complete control over my life and I was thinking about ending it.
For some reason I decided to join a gym on a New Year’s Resolution and that was it. That became my escape.
It took me 7 years of GRINDING to get where I am now but the lessons that I learned where priceless.
Lesson 1 – Don’t be afraid to create your own path
I’ve always been a nerd so it was natural for me to approach the gym with science. I started counting macronutrients when I was 15. There were no applications or programs for me to use back then.
I would constantly carry notebook and a calculator making calculations concerning the foods I was eating. I needed to make sure that I was consuming the EXACT amount of protein, carbs and fat in each of my meals.
I also had to make sure I was eating my meals at the exact times of the day. Everyone looked at me weird for doing this. I didn’t care. I knew that with time this was going to pay off.
Lesson 2 – Work your ass off
I lived by the following motto: “I don’t care if you’re better than me. I will work a hundred times harder than you. If I lose, it will not be because someone worked harder than me”
Every day at 3:15 I would raise my hand in class and run to my locker and get my pre workout meal. I would go eat it in the bathroom. Why? I wanted to have the exact amount of carbohydrates exactly 45 minutes before I was going to work out.
Every little detail counted. In the gym I worked out until I was about to faint. During my free time I would spend hours and hours researching every single aspect of training and nutrition.
Fridays were my favorite day of the week. Why? I could workout for 2 extra hours cause there wasn’t any school the next day.
Lesson 3 – Losing everything makes you stronger
I realized I was motivated to compete in bodybuilding my senior year in high school. But there was one problem.
I was born with a deformity where my chest bone and rib cage sank into my body. This did not look pretty at all and gave my entire upper body a very weird look.
I was so determined to accomplish my goal that I went through a surgery where they inserted a metal bar underneath my chest bone to push the entire rib cage outwards.
Imagine braces but for your chest bone and rib cage. I couldn’t work out for 6 months and my recovery was almost a year. I lost every single pound of muscle I had ever gained.
Do you think my friends supported me? They would constantly remind me that I looked anorexic.
Recovering from that surgery and gaining all my muscle back gave me the confidence to know that I could lose it all and would still manage to find the way to gain everything back.
That experience gave me more confidence than anything else. And yes. I still have a metal bar in my chest.
Lesson 4 – Embrace the haters
Everyone around me told me I wasn’t going to make it. Everyone around me told me that my tactics were weird and wrong. Trainers at my gym would mock me and tell me I would never get anywhere without steroids.
I took all of this as fuel to the fire. I knew that one day they were going to blush at what I was going to attain.
Prove people wrong just once and you will NEVER doubt yourself again. You will start believing you can do anything.
Lesson 5 – Each Day Counts
How fast you accomplish your goals is completely up to you. Each you have an opportunity to do one more thing that will get you closer towards your vision.
Christmas parties? I took my own meals to every single Christmas party and every single birthday. I refused to break my diet no matter the occasion.
I will admit that I went to a few parties throughout high school but I would always end up leaving towards the middle to go buy some yogurt from a gas station.
What happened with my stutter?
At age 19 I realized how much I had overcome. I realized that I finally had the power to control the course of my life.
This realization made me realize that I too had control over my speech. After one week of confidently talking to people, my stutter disappeared.
I’m an average Joe, working as a banker, from a small island called Australia. I have a confession to make as well: I don’t own a Ferrari or a fancy suit. That’s why this advice I’m about to give you will unexpectedly change your life.
I’m the least likely guy you’d expect to be mature. Against all the odds, I found a mature meaning for my life that has helped a lot of people online.
That’s not bragging rights it’s just what happens when you understand what’s real and what’s not.
Here are my brutal lessons:
1. Maturity comes from failure.
Age plays no part in maturity.
What makes you mature is when you’ve made enough fuck ups in life that you’re able to see life for what it is: a freaking miracle that you shouldn’t take for granted.
With every stupidly, ridiculous cock up in my life, I’ve matured. I’ve learned what works by experiencing what doesn’t work.
2. The best advice doesn’t have the most likes.
One piece of advice I gave stopped a young 21 year old from committing suicide. It wasn’t a viral piece of content yet it’s probably one of the pieces I’m thrilled I wrote.
Saving a life is more important than gaining likes on social media.
3. Beauty is not what you think.
Fat, skinny, tall, athletic — none of that equals beauty. Who defines what beauty is?
The truth I’ve learned, through maturing as an adult, is that the beauty inside is the most important criteria.
Let me remove the BS catchphrase I just said and explain it in simple terms: beauty is the way someone acts and how they make you feel.
Beauty is a by-product of working on yourself and the way you think. Eat that INSTAGRAM!
4. It’s not about ‘one’s self.’
Take the focus off yourself and you’ll see just how easy it is to get everything you could ever want.
Progressing your own selfish desires only leaves you feeling empty. You’ll always be asking “Is this all there is?”
I’ve been that guy. I was obsessed with ‘my business’ and ‘my car’ and ‘my money.”
None of the cliché things that a lot of us aim for ever move the dial on your happiness meter. It’s not about you.
5. No one’s reached the pinnacle.
Not Elon. Not Zuck’s. Not Gates. Not Jay Z. Everyone’s just getting started.
One area of our life could look amazing; we may even be famous for it. That’s not the pinnacle. There’s always another goal or another passion to pursue.
None of us know the true limit of human potential. We’ll never know if we’ve reached the pinnacle. There’s always more to do. There’s always another goal.
When you see success as temporary and see fame for what it is, you stop chasing it.
“Chase meaning instead and quit falling in love with idols who you’ll never be and probably never want to be if you got to live a day in their shoes”
6. Focus on the essentials when it comes to owning stuff.
Even then you’ll probably get carried away, let’s face it.
The need to have more won’t take you further along the Yellow Brick Road. In fact, the reality is quite the opposite.
Having more stuff is only going to make you more stressed and want more, thus resulting in an empty feeling that is hard to explain to almost any mature adult.
“Less will always be more because less is how you get more of the good things in life — happiness, love, meaning, etc”
7. Men cry too and so do leaders.
Everyone has a rough day or a situation that brings us to tears. It’s okay not to be okay.
Crying is how we know what matters to us. Every time we cry, we gain another piece of the puzzle to the jigsaw that is our life.
There’s no point pretending you don’t cry. We all cry because we’re all human. Emotion is what connects us together and makes us united.
It’s the one feeling we can’t stop no matter how hard we might try, so we can look #normal. Screw normal.
8. The hardest work is working on yourself.
Not hustle till you die.
Not grinding after midnight.
Not working seven days.
We can all work hard like a machine but working on ourselves is what defines us as being human. It’s one of the hardest things in life to look at yourself in the mirror and say “I’m an asshole.”
That’s the conversation I had with myself five years back. I was a rude, arrogant, sick, twisted individual that had let greed take over from everything that makes logical sense.
Figuring out my own mind and using it to help others is the hardest work I’ve ever done. In the early stages, working on myself felt like being in prison. I had to get really good at seeing the stuff I didn’t want to see.
Numbers of hours, revenue generated and how good you are at ‘hustling’ don’t matter. What matters is what you work on you.
<<<>>>
If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
I’m willing to bet that many of you out there have thought about writing a book. You may have even started jotting down a few ideas. Perhaps it’s a fiction book, the next 50 Shades of Grey, or maybe you want to write the next tell-all expose on the life and times of Donald Trump. You might even consider writing the next great self-help book, akin to “The Secret” or “How to Make Friends and Influence People”.
According to a study done nearly two decades ago in 2002, 81% of Americans feel that they had a book in them. This means that nearly 260 million people want to write books in the US alone. Approximately 600,000 books are published in the US each year, and many of those are self-published. Few sell more than a few copies (the average is around 250 copies sold). Yet I’m here today to tell you to write that book that you’ve had on your mind, and to dive into the realm of self-publishing.
Here are 10 reasons you should take that leap and write a book already:
1. It makes you think more clearly
When you first think about writing a book, it may seem like a daunting task. It is an exciting idea, sure, but the more you consider how to actually get started, the harder it becomes. When you actually pick up the pen (or the laptop) and start typing, you will come to realise just what a clarifying effect the writing process can have on your mind.
2. It helps you channel your creativity
Writing is perhaps one of the purest forms of self expression and creativity accessible to humans. We all learn to write from an early age, yet few of us cultivate the skill of self-expression through writing long past our early childhood. Good books, nonfiction or fiction, tap into the reader’s minds by telling creative stories and tapping into psychological forces related to specific emotions. The book you write need not be dry or boring. Think about how you can make it interesting and then go full-steam ahead.
“The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.” – Ryan Holiday
3. It gives you a sense of purpose
Every November, nearly half a million people take on the challenge of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). The challenge is for writers of all ages, talents, and skill levels to set aside time out of their busy schedules to write like mad over the course of the month. The goal is to reach a ridiculous number of words (50,000) in as few days as possible. Taking on a challenge of this magnitude, or just setting a deadline for yourself in your head on a certain number of pages to write in a certain amount of time, can provide you with an incredible sense of purpose and drive.
4. It forces you to plan ahead
Most people who write books don’t do so as part of their full-time job. They don’t have large advances or massive budgets to spend on marketing and PR. Instead, they have to work on their writing, promoting and planning around their already busy lives. Deciding to write a book requires careful planning and attention to detail. It also forces you to outline a plan for when to publish your book and when to start marketing.
5. It motivates you
Once you have an outline in place for your book and a schedule for how many words you need to finish each day (or how many sections of your book you need to complete) you will be surprised by how motivated you become. Just having a set of tasks to complete which align so closely with a creative endeavour is incredibly fulfilling, and will be very motivating over the course of your writing.
6. It creates good habits
The creation of good habits is a positive byproduct of outlining, planning, and writing a book. By planning out your activities, you develop a deeper appreciation for time and the time you spend on certain tasks. You will make an effort to be more productive, to cut out things that are of less value to you, and to prioritise those things which will help you achieve your next goal or task. All positive things which lead to the development of good habits.
7. It develops new connections
Don’t mistake the process of writing a book with the process of editing a book. When you write on a schedule, you may not feel like writing, but the sheer force of will you employ to get the words out on a daily basis will be a powerful motivating force. Not only that, the more you write, the more likely it becomes that you will develop new connections, thoughts, or ideas that you’ve never had before. As you write, something may become clear to you which has been shrouded in mystery for years or decades of your life. By writing, you will uncover these new connections and change your whole way of thinking.
“The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are: Hard work, Stick-to-itiveness, and Common sense.” – Thomas A. Edison
8. It makes you more interesting
Writing a book will make you more interesting. Not only will it give you something to talk about at parties, it will help you understand the challenges that many people face when it comes to motivation or challenges at work or in their personal lives. By writing a book, I would argue that you will become both more empathetic and energetic in your interactions with others.
9. It opens up more doors
When you spend a significant amount of time writing something, chances are that you are a dedicated and trustworthy individual. You are labelled a self-starter and someone who can be self-motivated to reach large goals. By telling people you’ve written a book, you will open doors you didn’t even know were doors in the first place. People will want to speak with you, have lunch with you, pick your brain, learn from you. The sky’s the limit.
10. It drives deeper understanding
Ultimately, writing a book allows you to develop a deeper understanding of yourself, of others and of the world around you. I would argue that writing a book is both a selfless and a selfish act in that it allows you to pour your heart and soul into something which may benefit the world as a whole.
In 2002, an author and professor at Northwestern University by the name of Joseph Epstein told readers in an Op-Ed in the New York Times that they should never write that book. A lot has changed since 2002, and looking at the world now I would argue strongly for the opposite. People should be spending more time thinking about, and writing the books they have buried inside. Only then will we be able to develop a truly complete view of the world and of humanity.
What book is on your mind that you haven’t started yet? Comment below!
When you’re going through tough times, all you need is sympathy. You just need someone to tell you how strong you are and how you can cope with the situation. Essentially, you’re waiting for a soothing voice that can calm your inner storm and genuinely help with your troubles.
If you’re in a situation like this, then know that you’re not alone. You might be feeling low due to a reason like failing at something, breaking up with someone you dearly loved, losing your loved one, not getting a good job, or being betrayed by the person you trusted the most or anything along those lines.
Remember this; there is hope for everyone including you. You are going to come back from all of this no matter what. That’s why there is a saying, “Every dark cloud has a silver lining.”
Here are 7 powerful quotes to help lift you up in your time of need:
1. “There are only TWO days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday, and the other one is called tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live.” – Dalai Lama
This quote said by his holy highness Dalai Lama is so compelling about life. You live in the present, neither in the past nor the future. Think about it this way, can you change what is already done or can you change what is going to be done? The answer is, no, you can’t because nobody can. It’s wise to forget the bad things from the past and do something in the present that will help improve your future.
2. “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein
Have you ever thought of these beautiful words of encouragement from Sir Albert Einstein? It is so profound and practical. Sometimes we are miserable because people try to fit us into a mold where we don’t belong, and thus we too start feeling that we are useless. However, that’s not the case. We all are gifted with abilities that we overlook only because of the fear of being rejected or neglected. You are not supposed to rely on people’s perspective about you if you know what your real potential is.
3. “Every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear it. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a ceiling on yourself.” – Oprah Winfrey
These words of encouragement from Oprah Winfrey gave me so much strength that I couldn’t resist to quote it here. Many times we give up on our dreams and wishes only because we think it is impossible. We must believe in ourselves and tell ourselves that we CAN do it and it is possible. You shouldn’t be afraid of failures and setbacks but instead welcome them.
4. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers
Think about this, still water is stagnant water. Even the water has to keep flowing to remain useful. If you want to become successful, you must keep lifting yourself up and keep moving. Do not let the hardships hold you down and wait for a miracle to happen. You’re already on the right track so nothing should stop you from going further in your life.
5. “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi
All our activities, throughout this life, are controlled by our mind. Believe it or not, it’s true. It is correctly said that what you think you become. People around us are not always going to pull you up, and you might meet people who are going to supply negativity to your mind. However, it is up to you whom to let in your mind and whom you should never. When you are in control of your thoughts and mind, nothing and nobody can distract you.
6. “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” – Oscar Wilde
Difficult times are very tricky. It makes you believe that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We don’t realize that today’s struggles are for a better tomorrow. They’re not permanent, and they’re not going to last forever. Once you are determined to change your situation then even God will help you with that. Just remember the saying, “God helps those who help themselves.”
7. “In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” – Deepak Chopra
This quote is too profound and subtle that summarizes this whole article. It might change the way you look at your problems right now. There are circumstances to knock you down, there are issues you are not able to solve, and they seem completely out of your control. It is not at all easy to keep calm at this point, however, if you learn how to be still in the midst of all the chaos, you are a winner. You have won half the battle just by doing this.
Winning and losing is just a part of life. No matter in which phase of your life you are, remember that there is a purpose behind it and you will know what that purpose is at the right time. Moreover, one day you will be grateful for all the struggles and mistakes because they will make you a stronger, better and a more beautiful human being.
Which one of these quotes inspired you the most and why? Let us know in the comments below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
A month ago, I received an email titled “I am giving up” from a young woman. She was an aspiring life coach and had a huge money problem she was dealing with.
The young lady tried everything to get out of the situation and was even prepared to sleep in her car. There was one problem though: she had a daughter.
Things got so bad that she was even considering becoming a stripper to make some money fast but it was eating away at her on the inside because this very idea went against her ethics and values.
She felt she could never be a life coach again if she became a stripper, because the thought of helping other women after she had put her ass in lots of guys’ faces (this is what she actually said) was far too painful for her.
Becoming a stripper to fix her money problem would simultaneously kill her dream of becoming a life coach.
After she told me this story, she wanted my advice. ‘What should I do Tim?” she said to me in the email.
I really wanted to help her.
I gave her this advice even though it sounds brutal and somewhat harsh:
I told her “Sometimes We Have To Eat Garbage For A While Before We Can Rise Up Again.”
Here’s how to eat garbage for a while so that you can rise up again:
Take a job you may not love.
Life is not all rainbows and butterflies (forgot who said that but it’s true). There will be times when your life goes off track and you could lose your job, all your money or even your partner. It’s messed up and we all go through it.
The answer is not to go against all of your values, so you feel even more worthless. The advice I gave though goes against every self-help book and motivational quote you’ve ever read including #LoveYourWork
If you fall down, sometimes you have to eat garbage for a while and if it’s a financial crisis, then that could mean doing a job or work you hate.
When my business dreams collapsed in 2011, I took a call center job that I hated with every bone in my body. I took the job because it rebuilt my confidence and taught me how to sell again.
I learned how the big bad corporate world worked and I became incredibly disciplined. I even learned how to love a woman again which sounds corny, but it’s true.
I ate the worst kind of garbage you could possibly eat and I tried to enjoy every moment of it. I then saved up enough money to attend a Tony Robbins event and that was the catalyst for my transformation.
Superman didn’t come and save me like you see in the movies. I had to save myself and that involved doing something I didn’t like. There are more lessons in the stuff you hate than you may realize. Embrace it.
Work on a side hustle at the same time.
The first point is horribly wrong unless you couple it with a side hustle. Eating garbage and having no way out of it is putting yourself through unnecessary torture that you may not recover from.
The rope marks could scar you for life without a side hustle.
My side hustle started out as personal development which eventually led me to begin blogging. Without this side hustle, the time where I had to eat garbage would have been unbearable.
Every day while I worked a job I hated, I looked forward to the small amounts of spare time I had so that I could work on my side hustle. In the first week of this difficult job, I outsold the other staff and hit 200% of my sales target.
“I achieved 200% of my sales target because I was determined to outperform so I could gain the privileges that came with it — more time and more freedom”
Instead of being micromanaged, I got the chance to watch Ted Talks with my people leader and strategize about the future of the business.
The side hustle then became much bigger later on and now it fuels everything I do. I’m obsessed with everyone finding a side hustle, so they have something to motivate them at least some of the time.
Eating garbage is where GRIT is built.
I never used to have an “anything is possible” mindset. The grit I have was built from having to eat garbage for a while.
“I knew that if I could make it through the muddy waters of not following my passion, I could do anything”
The harsh part of life taught me how to fend for myself and overcome my own demons, so I could rise up again out of the ashes. Grit does not come from your comfort zone.
Grit is found in the biggest and boldest of challenges where you have to use every ounce of your strength to come out alive.
The young woman that emailed me is working on developing the same personality trait. This work is what will make her an exceptional life coach.
You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.
Eating garbage is short term and if you have a financial problem or something that just won’t go away, you’ve got to tackle it head on. Complaining about your situation and telling yourself the odds are stacked against you won’t help.
When you see eating garbage as short term, you develop the mindset that will help you break through.
There’s no magic cure.
I told the young lady that emailed me to eat garbage for a while (I was nicer than that, don’t worry) and do what she has to do to earn some money (without breaking her values). This battle is short-term and that’s how we all have to see it.
Think about a situation that is worse than yours.
Speaking of eating garbage, one of my mentors reached out to me and told me they had been demoted. They no longer had people underneath them and they were forced into something they didn’t love as much.
I told my mentor the same thing: we all have to eat garbage sometimes.
That advice was then followed up with my story of going from business owner to a call center operator. I then told him the story of a mutual friend who had gone from a high flying job to a nobody that was ignored.
He put up with that for three years and then eventually someone saw what I saw in him, and he was given a very senior role in another company.
Your situation may suck big time but getting some perspective and hearing about others who’ve had to eat garbage is a refreshing way (refreshing and brown stuff in the same sentence?) to overcome the negativity you’ll experience .
Understand that no one stays at the top of anything forever.
You could be the richest person in the world today. Eventually, you’ll be knocked off the top spot.
You could be the fastest 100m sprinter in the world. Tomorrow, or eventually, someone will be faster than you. The simple fact is that no one is permanently at the top of their game.
“All of us will fall from grace at some point”
What I’ve learned is that falling from grace and eating garbage for a while is how you rise up again. You can’t rise up if you haven’t fallen down before.
The deep, dark problem you think you’re facing will pass- it always does eventually. This is not the time to make a dumb decision, ask for sympathy or complain.
It’s time to eat garbage for a while and put in the work. Earn the right to get what you want by starting again at the bottom. That’s how you rise up again.
<<<>>>
If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Life
15 Typical Life Problems And How To Solve Them.
All of our problems are the same. This is the 156th time I’ve written this fact (for those of you counting).
Problems are forever and we can’t avoid them. You’ll wake up tomorrow and have problems for breakfast. You’ll jump on the train and read a problem in your email inbox.
You’ll get to the office and get a problem smack bang in your pretty face!
The typical problems we face can be solved.
Here are 15 typical life problems and how to solve them:
You didn’t reach your goal.
Just because you set a goal, doesn’t mean you’re going to get it. Many of life’s toughest goals take lots of attempts. Some of the goals I missed are:
• Dream careers
• Girls I wanted to date
• Saving enough money to build a school in Laos
• Reaching 100k followers on LinkedIn
People who talk about success and personal development (and even write for a site called Addicted2Success like me) also don’t reach their goals.
The best feeling about reaching a goal is the journey it took to get there. If all your goals were easy, then you’d feel nothing at the end of the process.
Solution:
Take the goal you didn’t achieve and try a different approach. Doing the same thing over and over to achieve your goal is the definition of insanity.
Your heroes miss their goals too. What makes them stand out is that they don’t give up. The fun of goal-setting is knowing that you’ll fail.
Someone criticized you.
If you want to make a dent in this world, then the critics will come out of the closet. The bigger your aspirations are, the more you’ll be criticized.
The number of critics you have is in direct proportion to your success.
“I had an entire blog post written about me saying how stupid I was. It felt like crap on day one. By day seven I’d made peace with the criticism and kept writing”
Solution:
You can’t please everybody that you meet in life.
When you speak on a stage, for example, 25% of people will like you, 25% won’t know who you are and 50% of people will think you’re an asshole even though you’ve probably done nothing wrong.
Critics are not all bad. You can learn things about yourself from them too. The solution is to learn from criticism, not be afraid of it.
Your career got messed up.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur or a happy-go-lucky office worker, your career is going to get messed up at some point.
The definition of business is this: Moving from one problem to another and making money in the meantime to fuel your mission. Business is really just problem-solving.
- Redundancy could right hook you in the face.
- The business you founded could go backwards and even bankrupt.
- Your career skills could become outdated.
- You could get fired for making a mistake.
Your career is going to get messed up. Things you can never predict in your career are going to happen.
Solution:
See career challenges for what they are: an opportunity to try something different. If your career never got messed up, then you’d probably stay in your comfort-zone for your entire life and never try something different.
The solution is to see your career getting messed up as a chance to grow.Getting made redundant could be the one reality that makes you want to create your own startup.
Having a customer leave could decrease your workload and create space for clients who won’t drain your time and make you no money.
You have financial troubles.
That crazy little thing called money will let you down at some point.
“I’ve personally been rich and poor multiple times”
Upon reflection, the time I’ve been the happiest has been when I’ve had the least amount of money.
Countless studies have shown that money isn’t what your life’s about. As humans, we seek meaning, love and our own version of happiness.
Money won’t give you any of those human needs.
That doesn’t mean money doesn’t matter; it just means that it shouldn’t be your main focus or something you obsess over.
Solution:
Lack of money is a gift. When you don’t have money, you become resourceful and creative at the same time.
Lack of money helps you decide on what matters and what doesn’t.
If things get really bad, then you’ll likely prioritize feeding your family over buying another useless car that will never make you happy. You’ll take joy in the simple things in life.
The solution to financial problems is to see them as a gift and choose a meaning for your life instead.
You’re unhealthy.
Our health has become a real problem. We wonder why we feel tired, sick and get headaches. We’ll all experience health challenges at some point in our life.
How many health challenges we experience in our younger years will come down to food and exercise. The strategies for being healthy haven’t changed.
There’s no mystery around being healthy it’s just that we’ve become lazy.
Convenience powered by apps has overtaken our ability to do basic tasks and not binge watch Netflix every night.
Solution:
Take ownership. Quit feeling sick and do something about it. Have some blood tests. Change your diet to be more plant-based.
Drink more water. Get your lazy ass to the gym 3 times a week for 30 minutes. Stand up from your desk every now and then so you’re not sitting for the whole day and messing your spine/neck up.
Whatever you do, take ownership of your health and quit being ignorant.
A relationship ended.
There’s less than 1% of people who met ‘The One,’ lived happily ever after, and never experience a breakup.
Even that 1% will have that relationship end at some point when either side passes away.
For the majority of us who don’t strike gold the first time around, we’re going to have to deal with breakups and the trials and tribulations of romance.
We’ll probably find ourselves in a toxic relationship for too long.
We’ll probably get cheated on at least once.
We’ll probably have our hearts smashed into a million pieces when we discover that someone ‘No longer loves us anymore.’
These are the realities of the human condition and our need to reproduce and keep our species alive.
Solution:
Finding love is about understanding what love is not. You need relationships to end to find out what love really is. All breakups suck in the beginning until you grow and move on. Then, the solution to this problem is to find yourself.
Once you find yourself, the heart will be ready for love again. How you move forward from there is up to you.
You can try the good old fashion nightclub scene. You could go to Meetups. Or, you could start swiping left and right on a few dating apps.
“Have your heart broken just don’t let it stay that way”
You made a dick of yourself.
Geez, this one is an ugly truth for me.
I’ve made an ass of myself more times than I’ve had protein and veggies for dinner. Here’s a few just for laughs (and your entertainment).
• There was the time I tried to pretend I could be the Wolf of Wall Street and got laughed out of the interview due to not being able to explain derivatives
• There was the time I thought this girl liked me and tried to hug her while we were walking only to have her hate my guts
• There was the time I went out with friends and threw up on my friend’s couch after having a single shot of Tequila
• There was the time I did my first public speaking gig and messed up a speech about my own life which I’d rehearsed over 100 times
We could talk for days about how I’ve embarrassed myself over the years. We could even compare epic fails to see who’s are worse. This is not a game though.
We’re all going to go into situations with the best of intentions or all the experience in the world and still screw up.
Solution:
Making a dick of yourself is a sign of courage. Courage is what is found in leaders and those who are doers.
Making a dick of yourself is an acceptance that you might fail in the short-term.
Those who fail in the short-term will eventually win in the long-term with practice.
“The opposite of making a dick of yourself is perfection.That’s a life where you think your shit doesn’t stink and you spend your entire day trying to impress everybody to eventually impress nobody”
Making an idiot of yourself is perfectly fine. What’s not fine is being perfect
Someone messed your *shit* up.
Car, home or insert other material possession that doesn’t matter. None of these material things that got messed up are joining you in the afterlife.
You can’t bury the Bentley with you (although someone tried) so you can drive around with your great, great, great grandpa and do burnouts in the afterlife.
The stuff that is going to get messed up doesn’t matter.
Solution:
What matters is that you don’t get messed up. What matters is that you take care of yourself so you can take care of others. Maybe when your junk gets messed up, you’ll realize that you didn’t need it in the first place.
You feel like your life has no meaning.
These moments where nothing makes sense is where you get to explore. We’re not born with a meaning for our life. Meaning comes from learning who we are and growing as a person.
The meaning for your life when you’re 19 will probably change from when you’re 51 and got three grown-up kids.
The quickest way to destroy your life is to believe that life has no meaning. A lack of meaning leads to depression, carelessness, drug taking and even crime at an extreme level.
Solution:
If you feel like your life has no meaning, then it’s time to experiment.Standing still is not how you find the answer.
“Being intensely focused on one’s self only leads to more suffering”
A short-term solution to this problem is to experiment with helping those who have nothing. Spend time with people who’d kill to be in your position and get some perspective.
I’ve found in my life that the greatest meaning for your life is normally tied to finding something you’d be happy to do for free that helps others.
You feel like you can’t go on.
We’ve all had those days. Those deep and sometimes dark thoughts can lead to a place you’ve never visited.
Some failures in life hurt more than others. Some failures can’t be solved through a listicle post such as this one with a dose of inspiration.
If you truly feel like you can’t go on, then there’s another way.
Solution:
Seek real help. These dark thoughts must be treated and sometimes the best medicine is to seek professional help through counseling, or for an extreme case, by calling Lifeline.
While I’ve never had suicidal thoughts personally, I have dealt with mental illness.
“There is a way to come out the other side, but you have to put aside your pride and seek help”
Please don’t become another victim of suicide by doing nothing.
Every day feels the same.
You wake up. You eat. You go to work. You eat. You come home. You eat. You go to bed.
Life can feel the same if you do nothing. It’s up to you to create variety and shape your habits into something more than a fixed schedule which makes you feel bored.
Days feel the same when there’s no purpose behind anything you’re doing.
Solution:
You must find joy in the repetition. You do that by taking those reps and making them mean something. Add some variety in by breaking your comfort zone. Set a goal to do something wild during your day every so often.
• Travel to another country
• Talk to someone new
• Try learning a new skill
Even after trying something new, you have to get used to some level of repetition. Let that repetition become habits that serve something which can help others.
Your friends are screwing your life up.
Dump them. Divorce them. Delete their number.
Every relationship you have in your life is a choice. The people around us often hold us back. They fill our minds with limiting beliefs, stories and goals that give us no sense of meaning.
Friends can kill our dreams or make us believe something we never thought was possible.
Solution:
Everyone deserves a second chance. Start by telling your toxic friends how you feel. Give them a chance to change with the new you.
If they refuse, take a break from them for a while. Ask yourself whether you want them in your life long-term.
‘Fitting in’ is what we’re taught to do. What I’d advise you to do is be you instead and that will attract the right people into your life.
You feel stressed.
77% of people in the US alone experience regular stress.
This young, previously blonde blogger has also recently learned about the effects of stress. I had a cortisol test and the doctor found the levels to be twice the normal range.
This stress led to brain fog, tiredness and a lack of mental clarity. Stress is also caused by what you let into your life. Having options can be a bad thing.
Solution:
“We don’t need more; we need less to destress”
• Declutter your home and office
• Say no to more meetings
• Say yes to invites from people that make you feel like saying “Hell Yes!”
• Buy less material things
• Have fewer people in your life
• Listen to one podcast instead of many
• Read fewer books instead of every one that’s recommended on a podcast
• Have less recurring subscriptions
• Invest and save more money so you can stress less about unexpected bills
• Take regular breaks (quarterly has worked for me)
A fear is standing in your way.
There are so many common fears — fear of spiders, flying, public speaking, dying, career change, heights and maybe even a fear of expressing yourself.
Fear is a concept of the mind. Nothing is scary or not scary. Our mind makes that choice for us and provides meaning to everything.
Fear can be overcome and that’s why we love stories of battling with fear. I’ve famously spoken about creating fear lists and then knocking them off one at a time.
Solution:
Smash the fear into tiny little pieces. Don’t avoid it. Don’t let it stand in your way any longer. Make a decision to overcome each fear you have and you’ll be unstoppable by the end.
Don’t let nerves trick you into thinking you’re fearful. We all get nerves, but we can still keep moving forward with nerves — I’ve even learned to use nerves to my advantage by using them as an extra energy source.
Nerves tell me I’m on the right track.
I’ve overcome my fear of public speaking and my fear of flying — my fear of spiders remains, but I’m working on that one 🙂
Real fear can be overcome through deliberate practice.
Dealing with the concept of death.
Last but not least, the old chestnut of death. Death is the one life problem we all have in common and can’t solve. Sorry for the bad news.
Death is going to take us eventually and it will take people you love through your life too.
“The solution to dealing with death is not to overcome it but to accept it”
Death can be our greatest motivator if we let it. Once you understand what death means in all of its darkness, you’ll understand life.
You’ll see death, not as a problem but a fact. That fact will change the way you see everything going forward. For me, it took several near-death experiences (almost being murdered and a cancer scare) to see death for what it is.
Death is not an easy pill to swallow. No short blog post like this is going to give you all the answers you’re probably wanting to know.
The only way I see of dealing with the reality of death is to go out there and live the best damn life you can, while you can!
Use your life to do something that gives you meaning and then you’ll no longer see death as a problem when it comes upon you.
Peace, love and respect — thanks for reading.
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If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Thanks for the motivation. Always inspiring to see others pursuing and reaching out to greater heights in life.
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Wow, this is amazing! I’m currently trying to lose weight and it’s been really hard; it seems like my parents are pushing me for their own gain because I’m not the skinniest teenage girl. I have no motivation and people, things, always stop me. I’m really proud of you, you’ve come a long way! Keep being strong 🙂
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Your story has really inspired me. It made me think how I was always the “fat” kid who always got picked last for sports. Now I’m getting better. I am eating a lot better now and its all thanks to your amazing and inspiring article. Thank you so much?Keep up the good work
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WOW! You are a living testimony I have really been inspired by your story and I will now start to write my own .I have been told to give up and that my efforts will amount to nothing but I have faith and I will never give up. Thank you!
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It’s funny that you mentioned faith. I had that tattooed into my arm when I started this journey.
Best of luck to you too. Keep your head high.
Ps: My transformation video is here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uMKy8D-hJg
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Wow..you inspired me so much!!
I am 20 years old girl on wheelchair, some years ago I almost give up..but i dont why, I started taking physiotherapy and other exercises. Now I am in love with my life.
After reading your post,. One thing came into my mind ”If you can do this then hell yes..I can do it too..”
I will walk, dance and run..
I will post my story.. 🙂
Thanks for the motivation..-
Wow, no, thank you! I wish you all the strength in the world. I’ll be waiting for you story. Never give up.
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Hello; thanks for sharing your inspirational story. as the fat kid in school i was only asked first for red rover. In the last few years I have been treated for sleep apnea had gastric surgery and lost over 240 pounds. I am now at 6 ft 4 and 265 with a little more work to go. I have gone a lon way towards being a success with my business as an amusement equipment reseller, and I happen to be blind. I am 47 now and look forward to every new day. Thanks again and take care, max
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Wow, that is a story far more impressive than mine. Dude, I’m very curious by nature, so take this the best way possible. If you’re blind, how do you manage to read articles and comment on people’s posts?
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Very impressed by this! You will inspire a lot of people 🙂
I think struggles are the pillars of life, they are needed to keep pushing you to become better. The best part about it is that you conquered each obstacle. It takes a certain kind of mind set for this kind of growth and overall positivity. I love it!-
I don’t think great people are born, they can also be made. I used to be the most insecure person in the world. When I had a stutter, I barely talked to anyone for YEARS… I was afraid of everything. This was so bad I thought I would never be able to have a girlfriend.
It was desperation that made me finally change. Desperation and reading a shit ton of motivational, how to, self help books.
And yes… Struggles are the greatest blessing anyone could ever have. Embrace them. They shape who become.
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Congrats!! Always great to see people pursuing a vision. Keep up the great work and let us know what your next steps are
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Next steps are… boxing, motocross, guitar and singing. Seriously. Prove people wrong ONCE and you will start believing you can do anything.
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Oh my. I applaud you for your unwavering self will. That is amazing. I am trying to lose some weight and become healthy, but the things that make me not stick to my weight loss plan are just too strong. It is so difficult to stick to the plan and going to the gym is a lot of hard work. I’d rather sleep. You are inspiring. I wish I will have a little bit of your strong motivation. AMAZINg !
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Honestly Shobelyn, I’m not sure what to tell you other than you have to want it bad. I hit rock bottom before starting to go the gym. I had chronic depression and extreme anxiety. I started doing this because I needed it to save my life.
Other than… I read TONS of motivational and self help books in order to motivate me. I’ve probably read at least 85% of the articles here at addicted2success.
Everyone experiences that spark of motivation. Now, what are you going to do to keep that spark lit?
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I would love to know 1 or 2 books that helped you the most. I am not very motivated at this time due to my own depression and anxiety. Thanks so much.
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I’m actually from Paraguay and let’s just say that things are pretty cheap there. My doctor had only performed that surgery 3 times before me so… it was definitely a wild ride.
Have you been on the pectusinfo forums? Go to my blog, or one of my channels, and contact me if you want more information on the surgery.
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I’m an average Joe, working as a banker, from a small island called Australia. I have a confession to make as well: I don’t own a Ferrari or a fancy suit. That’s why this advice I’m about to give you will unexpectedly change your life.
I’m the least likely guy you’d expect to be mature. Against all the odds, I found a mature meaning for my life that has helped a lot of people online.
That’s not bragging rights it’s just what happens when you understand what’s real and what’s not.
Here are my brutal lessons:
1. Maturity comes from failure.
Age plays no part in maturity.
What makes you mature is when you’ve made enough fuck ups in life that you’re able to see life for what it is: a freaking miracle that you shouldn’t take for granted.
With every stupidly, ridiculous cock up in my life, I’ve matured. I’ve learned what works by experiencing what doesn’t work.
2. The best advice doesn’t have the most likes.
One piece of advice I gave stopped a young 21 year old from committing suicide. It wasn’t a viral piece of content yet it’s probably one of the pieces I’m thrilled I wrote.
Saving a life is more important than gaining likes on social media.
3. Beauty is not what you think.
Fat, skinny, tall, athletic — none of that equals beauty. Who defines what beauty is?
The truth I’ve learned, through maturing as an adult, is that the beauty inside is the most important criteria.
Let me remove the BS catchphrase I just said and explain it in simple terms: beauty is the way someone acts and how they make you feel.
Beauty is a by-product of working on yourself and the way you think. Eat that INSTAGRAM!
4. It’s not about ‘one’s self.’
Take the focus off yourself and you’ll see just how easy it is to get everything you could ever want.
Progressing your own selfish desires only leaves you feeling empty. You’ll always be asking “Is this all there is?”
I’ve been that guy. I was obsessed with ‘my business’ and ‘my car’ and ‘my money.”
None of the cliché things that a lot of us aim for ever move the dial on your happiness meter. It’s not about you.
5. No one’s reached the pinnacle.
Not Elon. Not Zuck’s. Not Gates. Not Jay Z. Everyone’s just getting started.
One area of our life could look amazing; we may even be famous for it. That’s not the pinnacle. There’s always another goal or another passion to pursue.
None of us know the true limit of human potential. We’ll never know if we’ve reached the pinnacle. There’s always more to do. There’s always another goal.
When you see success as temporary and see fame for what it is, you stop chasing it.
“Chase meaning instead and quit falling in love with idols who you’ll never be and probably never want to be if you got to live a day in their shoes”
6. Focus on the essentials when it comes to owning stuff.
Even then you’ll probably get carried away, let’s face it.
The need to have more won’t take you further along the Yellow Brick Road. In fact, the reality is quite the opposite.
Having more stuff is only going to make you more stressed and want more, thus resulting in an empty feeling that is hard to explain to almost any mature adult.
“Less will always be more because less is how you get more of the good things in life — happiness, love, meaning, etc”
7. Men cry too and so do leaders.
Everyone has a rough day or a situation that brings us to tears. It’s okay not to be okay.
Crying is how we know what matters to us. Every time we cry, we gain another piece of the puzzle to the jigsaw that is our life.
There’s no point pretending you don’t cry. We all cry because we’re all human. Emotion is what connects us together and makes us united.
It’s the one feeling we can’t stop no matter how hard we might try, so we can look #normal. Screw normal.
8. The hardest work is working on yourself.
Not hustle till you die.
Not grinding after midnight.
Not working seven days.
We can all work hard like a machine but working on ourselves is what defines us as being human. It’s one of the hardest things in life to look at yourself in the mirror and say “I’m an asshole.”
That’s the conversation I had with myself five years back. I was a rude, arrogant, sick, twisted individual that had let greed take over from everything that makes logical sense.
Figuring out my own mind and using it to help others is the hardest work I’ve ever done. In the early stages, working on myself felt like being in prison. I had to get really good at seeing the stuff I didn’t want to see.
Numbers of hours, revenue generated and how good you are at ‘hustling’ don’t matter. What matters is what you work on you.
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If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
I’m willing to bet that many of you out there have thought about writing a book. You may have even started jotting down a few ideas. Perhaps it’s a fiction book, the next 50 Shades of Grey, or maybe you want to write the next tell-all expose on the life and times of Donald Trump. You might even consider writing the next great self-help book, akin to “The Secret” or “How to Make Friends and Influence People”.
According to a study done nearly two decades ago in 2002, 81% of Americans feel that they had a book in them. This means that nearly 260 million people want to write books in the US alone. Approximately 600,000 books are published in the US each year, and many of those are self-published. Few sell more than a few copies (the average is around 250 copies sold). Yet I’m here today to tell you to write that book that you’ve had on your mind, and to dive into the realm of self-publishing.
Here are 10 reasons you should take that leap and write a book already:
1. It makes you think more clearly
When you first think about writing a book, it may seem like a daunting task. It is an exciting idea, sure, but the more you consider how to actually get started, the harder it becomes. When you actually pick up the pen (or the laptop) and start typing, you will come to realise just what a clarifying effect the writing process can have on your mind.
2. It helps you channel your creativity
Writing is perhaps one of the purest forms of self expression and creativity accessible to humans. We all learn to write from an early age, yet few of us cultivate the skill of self-expression through writing long past our early childhood. Good books, nonfiction or fiction, tap into the reader’s minds by telling creative stories and tapping into psychological forces related to specific emotions. The book you write need not be dry or boring. Think about how you can make it interesting and then go full-steam ahead.
“The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.” – Ryan Holiday
3. It gives you a sense of purpose
Every November, nearly half a million people take on the challenge of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). The challenge is for writers of all ages, talents, and skill levels to set aside time out of their busy schedules to write like mad over the course of the month. The goal is to reach a ridiculous number of words (50,000) in as few days as possible. Taking on a challenge of this magnitude, or just setting a deadline for yourself in your head on a certain number of pages to write in a certain amount of time, can provide you with an incredible sense of purpose and drive.
4. It forces you to plan ahead
Most people who write books don’t do so as part of their full-time job. They don’t have large advances or massive budgets to spend on marketing and PR. Instead, they have to work on their writing, promoting and planning around their already busy lives. Deciding to write a book requires careful planning and attention to detail. It also forces you to outline a plan for when to publish your book and when to start marketing.
5. It motivates you
Once you have an outline in place for your book and a schedule for how many words you need to finish each day (or how many sections of your book you need to complete) you will be surprised by how motivated you become. Just having a set of tasks to complete which align so closely with a creative endeavour is incredibly fulfilling, and will be very motivating over the course of your writing.
6. It creates good habits
The creation of good habits is a positive byproduct of outlining, planning, and writing a book. By planning out your activities, you develop a deeper appreciation for time and the time you spend on certain tasks. You will make an effort to be more productive, to cut out things that are of less value to you, and to prioritise those things which will help you achieve your next goal or task. All positive things which lead to the development of good habits.
7. It develops new connections
Don’t mistake the process of writing a book with the process of editing a book. When you write on a schedule, you may not feel like writing, but the sheer force of will you employ to get the words out on a daily basis will be a powerful motivating force. Not only that, the more you write, the more likely it becomes that you will develop new connections, thoughts, or ideas that you’ve never had before. As you write, something may become clear to you which has been shrouded in mystery for years or decades of your life. By writing, you will uncover these new connections and change your whole way of thinking.
“The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are: Hard work, Stick-to-itiveness, and Common sense.” – Thomas A. Edison
8. It makes you more interesting
Writing a book will make you more interesting. Not only will it give you something to talk about at parties, it will help you understand the challenges that many people face when it comes to motivation or challenges at work or in their personal lives. By writing a book, I would argue that you will become both more empathetic and energetic in your interactions with others.
9. It opens up more doors
When you spend a significant amount of time writing something, chances are that you are a dedicated and trustworthy individual. You are labelled a self-starter and someone who can be self-motivated to reach large goals. By telling people you’ve written a book, you will open doors you didn’t even know were doors in the first place. People will want to speak with you, have lunch with you, pick your brain, learn from you. The sky’s the limit.
10. It drives deeper understanding
Ultimately, writing a book allows you to develop a deeper understanding of yourself, of others and of the world around you. I would argue that writing a book is both a selfless and a selfish act in that it allows you to pour your heart and soul into something which may benefit the world as a whole.
In 2002, an author and professor at Northwestern University by the name of Joseph Epstein told readers in an Op-Ed in the New York Times that they should never write that book. A lot has changed since 2002, and looking at the world now I would argue strongly for the opposite. People should be spending more time thinking about, and writing the books they have buried inside. Only then will we be able to develop a truly complete view of the world and of humanity.
What book is on your mind that you haven’t started yet? Comment below!
When you’re going through tough times, all you need is sympathy. You just need someone to tell you how strong you are and how you can cope with the situation. Essentially, you’re waiting for a soothing voice that can calm your inner storm and genuinely help with your troubles.
If you’re in a situation like this, then know that you’re not alone. You might be feeling low due to a reason like failing at something, breaking up with someone you dearly loved, losing your loved one, not getting a good job, or being betrayed by the person you trusted the most or anything along those lines.
Remember this; there is hope for everyone including you. You are going to come back from all of this no matter what. That’s why there is a saying, “Every dark cloud has a silver lining.”
Here are 7 powerful quotes to help lift you up in your time of need:
1. “There are only TWO days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday, and the other one is called tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live.” – Dalai Lama
This quote said by his holy highness Dalai Lama is so compelling about life. You live in the present, neither in the past nor the future. Think about it this way, can you change what is already done or can you change what is going to be done? The answer is, no, you can’t because nobody can. It’s wise to forget the bad things from the past and do something in the present that will help improve your future.
2. “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein
Have you ever thought of these beautiful words of encouragement from Sir Albert Einstein? It is so profound and practical. Sometimes we are miserable because people try to fit us into a mold where we don’t belong, and thus we too start feeling that we are useless. However, that’s not the case. We all are gifted with abilities that we overlook only because of the fear of being rejected or neglected. You are not supposed to rely on people’s perspective about you if you know what your real potential is.
3. “Every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear it. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a ceiling on yourself.” – Oprah Winfrey
These words of encouragement from Oprah Winfrey gave me so much strength that I couldn’t resist to quote it here. Many times we give up on our dreams and wishes only because we think it is impossible. We must believe in ourselves and tell ourselves that we CAN do it and it is possible. You shouldn’t be afraid of failures and setbacks but instead welcome them.
4. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers
Think about this, still water is stagnant water. Even the water has to keep flowing to remain useful. If you want to become successful, you must keep lifting yourself up and keep moving. Do not let the hardships hold you down and wait for a miracle to happen. You’re already on the right track so nothing should stop you from going further in your life.
5. “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi
All our activities, throughout this life, are controlled by our mind. Believe it or not, it’s true. It is correctly said that what you think you become. People around us are not always going to pull you up, and you might meet people who are going to supply negativity to your mind. However, it is up to you whom to let in your mind and whom you should never. When you are in control of your thoughts and mind, nothing and nobody can distract you.
6. “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” – Oscar Wilde
Difficult times are very tricky. It makes you believe that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We don’t realize that today’s struggles are for a better tomorrow. They’re not permanent, and they’re not going to last forever. Once you are determined to change your situation then even God will help you with that. Just remember the saying, “God helps those who help themselves.”
7. “In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” – Deepak Chopra
This quote is too profound and subtle that summarizes this whole article. It might change the way you look at your problems right now. There are circumstances to knock you down, there are issues you are not able to solve, and they seem completely out of your control. It is not at all easy to keep calm at this point, however, if you learn how to be still in the midst of all the chaos, you are a winner. You have won half the battle just by doing this.
Winning and losing is just a part of life. No matter in which phase of your life you are, remember that there is a purpose behind it and you will know what that purpose is at the right time. Moreover, one day you will be grateful for all the struggles and mistakes because they will make you a stronger, better and a more beautiful human being.
Which one of these quotes inspired you the most and why? Let us know in the comments below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
A month ago, I received an email titled “I am giving up” from a young woman. She was an aspiring life coach and had a huge money problem she was dealing with.
The young lady tried everything to get out of the situation and was even prepared to sleep in her car. There was one problem though: she had a daughter.
Things got so bad that she was even considering becoming a stripper to make some money fast but it was eating away at her on the inside because this very idea went against her ethics and values.
She felt she could never be a life coach again if she became a stripper, because the thought of helping other women after she had put her ass in lots of guys’ faces (this is what she actually said) was far too painful for her.
Becoming a stripper to fix her money problem would simultaneously kill her dream of becoming a life coach.
After she told me this story, she wanted my advice. ‘What should I do Tim?” she said to me in the email.
I really wanted to help her.
I gave her this advice even though it sounds brutal and somewhat harsh:
I told her “Sometimes We Have To Eat Garbage For A While Before We Can Rise Up Again.”
Here’s how to eat garbage for a while so that you can rise up again:
Take a job you may not love.
Life is not all rainbows and butterflies (forgot who said that but it’s true). There will be times when your life goes off track and you could lose your job, all your money or even your partner. It’s messed up and we all go through it.
The answer is not to go against all of your values, so you feel even more worthless. The advice I gave though goes against every self-help book and motivational quote you’ve ever read including #LoveYourWork
If you fall down, sometimes you have to eat garbage for a while and if it’s a financial crisis, then that could mean doing a job or work you hate.
When my business dreams collapsed in 2011, I took a call center job that I hated with every bone in my body. I took the job because it rebuilt my confidence and taught me how to sell again.
I learned how the big bad corporate world worked and I became incredibly disciplined. I even learned how to love a woman again which sounds corny, but it’s true.
I ate the worst kind of garbage you could possibly eat and I tried to enjoy every moment of it. I then saved up enough money to attend a Tony Robbins event and that was the catalyst for my transformation.
Superman didn’t come and save me like you see in the movies. I had to save myself and that involved doing something I didn’t like. There are more lessons in the stuff you hate than you may realize. Embrace it.
Work on a side hustle at the same time.
The first point is horribly wrong unless you couple it with a side hustle. Eating garbage and having no way out of it is putting yourself through unnecessary torture that you may not recover from.
The rope marks could scar you for life without a side hustle.
My side hustle started out as personal development which eventually led me to begin blogging. Without this side hustle, the time where I had to eat garbage would have been unbearable.
Every day while I worked a job I hated, I looked forward to the small amounts of spare time I had so that I could work on my side hustle. In the first week of this difficult job, I outsold the other staff and hit 200% of my sales target.
“I achieved 200% of my sales target because I was determined to outperform so I could gain the privileges that came with it — more time and more freedom”
Instead of being micromanaged, I got the chance to watch Ted Talks with my people leader and strategize about the future of the business.
The side hustle then became much bigger later on and now it fuels everything I do. I’m obsessed with everyone finding a side hustle, so they have something to motivate them at least some of the time.
Eating garbage is where GRIT is built.
I never used to have an “anything is possible” mindset. The grit I have was built from having to eat garbage for a while.
“I knew that if I could make it through the muddy waters of not following my passion, I could do anything”
The harsh part of life taught me how to fend for myself and overcome my own demons, so I could rise up again out of the ashes. Grit does not come from your comfort zone.
Grit is found in the biggest and boldest of challenges where you have to use every ounce of your strength to come out alive.
The young woman that emailed me is working on developing the same personality trait. This work is what will make her an exceptional life coach.
You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.
Eating garbage is short term and if you have a financial problem or something that just won’t go away, you’ve got to tackle it head on. Complaining about your situation and telling yourself the odds are stacked against you won’t help.
When you see eating garbage as short term, you develop the mindset that will help you break through.
There’s no magic cure.
I told the young lady that emailed me to eat garbage for a while (I was nicer than that, don’t worry) and do what she has to do to earn some money (without breaking her values). This battle is short-term and that’s how we all have to see it.
Think about a situation that is worse than yours.
Speaking of eating garbage, one of my mentors reached out to me and told me they had been demoted. They no longer had people underneath them and they were forced into something they didn’t love as much.
I told my mentor the same thing: we all have to eat garbage sometimes.
That advice was then followed up with my story of going from business owner to a call center operator. I then told him the story of a mutual friend who had gone from a high flying job to a nobody that was ignored.
He put up with that for three years and then eventually someone saw what I saw in him, and he was given a very senior role in another company.
Your situation may suck big time but getting some perspective and hearing about others who’ve had to eat garbage is a refreshing way (refreshing and brown stuff in the same sentence?) to overcome the negativity you’ll experience .
Understand that no one stays at the top of anything forever.
You could be the richest person in the world today. Eventually, you’ll be knocked off the top spot.
You could be the fastest 100m sprinter in the world. Tomorrow, or eventually, someone will be faster than you. The simple fact is that no one is permanently at the top of their game.
“All of us will fall from grace at some point”
What I’ve learned is that falling from grace and eating garbage for a while is how you rise up again. You can’t rise up if you haven’t fallen down before.
The deep, dark problem you think you’re facing will pass- it always does eventually. This is not the time to make a dumb decision, ask for sympathy or complain.
It’s time to eat garbage for a while and put in the work. Earn the right to get what you want by starting again at the bottom. That’s how you rise up again.
<<<>>>
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Jacob Pearson
Jul 21, 2018 at 1:17 am
Thanks for the motivation. Always inspiring to see others pursuing and reaching out to greater heights in life.
Jacob
Zarina
May 15, 2017 at 3:12 pm
Wow, this is amazing! I’m currently trying to lose weight and it’s been really hard; it seems like my parents are pushing me for their own gain because I’m not the skinniest teenage girl. I have no motivation and people, things, always stop me. I’m really proud of you, you’ve come a long way! Keep being strong 🙂
Sayeret
Jun 28, 2016 at 5:58 am
Your story has really inspired me. It made me think how I was always the “fat” kid who always got picked last for sports. Now I’m getting better. I am eating a lot better now and its all thanks to your amazing and inspiring article. Thank you so much?Keep up the good work
Emma
Nov 6, 2013 at 9:23 pm
WOW! You are a living testimony I have really been inspired by your story and I will now start to write my own .I have been told to give up and that my efforts will amount to nothing but I have faith and I will never give up. Thank you!
Sebastian
Nov 8, 2013 at 12:43 am
It’s funny that you mentioned faith. I had that tattooed into my arm when I started this journey.
Best of luck to you too. Keep your head high.
Ps: My transformation video is here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uMKy8D-hJg
From Loser to Hero
Nov 3, 2013 at 6:27 am
Great post. Really inspiring. I keep fingers crossed for you. Good luck.
Sebastian
Nov 8, 2013 at 12:38 am
Best of luck to you, wish you the best!
Kay
Oct 30, 2013 at 6:33 am
Wow..you inspired me so much!!
I am 20 years old girl on wheelchair, some years ago I almost give up..but i dont why, I started taking physiotherapy and other exercises. Now I am in love with my life.
After reading your post,. One thing came into my mind ”If you can do this then hell yes..I can do it too..”
I will walk, dance and run..
I will post my story.. 🙂
Thanks for the motivation..
Sebastian
Oct 31, 2013 at 1:40 pm
Wow, no, thank you! I wish you all the strength in the world. I’ll be waiting for you story. Never give up.
Maxwell Ivey
Oct 29, 2013 at 10:21 pm
Hello; thanks for sharing your inspirational story. as the fat kid in school i was only asked first for red rover. In the last few years I have been treated for sleep apnea had gastric surgery and lost over 240 pounds. I am now at 6 ft 4 and 265 with a little more work to go. I have gone a lon way towards being a success with my business as an amusement equipment reseller, and I happen to be blind. I am 47 now and look forward to every new day. Thanks again and take care, max
Sebastian
Oct 30, 2013 at 3:26 am
Wow, that is a story far more impressive than mine. Dude, I’m very curious by nature, so take this the best way possible. If you’re blind, how do you manage to read articles and comment on people’s posts?
Sebastian
Oct 29, 2013 at 8:00 pm
Thank you, you’re making me blush
Mush Bola Maluleka
Oct 29, 2013 at 6:39 am
Niecly, done mate! Keep kicking A$$, you are doing great!
moniquepau
Oct 29, 2013 at 3:46 am
Very impressed by this! You will inspire a lot of people 🙂
I think struggles are the pillars of life, they are needed to keep pushing you to become better. The best part about it is that you conquered each obstacle. It takes a certain kind of mind set for this kind of growth and overall positivity. I love it!
Sebastian
Oct 29, 2013 at 4:07 am
I don’t think great people are born, they can also be made. I used to be the most insecure person in the world. When I had a stutter, I barely talked to anyone for YEARS… I was afraid of everything. This was so bad I thought I would never be able to have a girlfriend.
It was desperation that made me finally change. Desperation and reading a shit ton of motivational, how to, self help books.
And yes… Struggles are the greatest blessing anyone could ever have. Embrace them. They shape who become.
Kevin
Oct 29, 2013 at 2:46 am
Congrats!! Always great to see people pursuing a vision. Keep up the great work and let us know what your next steps are
Sebastian
Oct 29, 2013 at 4:05 am
Next steps are… boxing, motocross, guitar and singing. Seriously. Prove people wrong ONCE and you will start believing you can do anything.
shobelyn
Oct 28, 2013 at 10:26 pm
Oh my. I applaud you for your unwavering self will. That is amazing. I am trying to lose some weight and become healthy, but the things that make me not stick to my weight loss plan are just too strong. It is so difficult to stick to the plan and going to the gym is a lot of hard work. I’d rather sleep. You are inspiring. I wish I will have a little bit of your strong motivation. AMAZINg !
Sebastian
Oct 29, 2013 at 1:10 am
Honestly Shobelyn, I’m not sure what to tell you other than you have to want it bad. I hit rock bottom before starting to go the gym. I had chronic depression and extreme anxiety. I started doing this because I needed it to save my life.
Other than… I read TONS of motivational and self help books in order to motivate me. I’ve probably read at least 85% of the articles here at addicted2success.
Everyone experiences that spark of motivation. Now, what are you going to do to keep that spark lit?
Jason
Dec 1, 2013 at 2:53 pm
I would love to know 1 or 2 books that helped you the most. I am not very motivated at this time due to my own depression and anxiety. Thanks so much.
Sebastian
Dec 9, 2013 at 1:30 pm
Psychocybernetics. Psychocybernetics. And Psychocybernetics. 😉
Mark Barlow
Oct 28, 2013 at 10:24 pm
Dude I have the concave chest thing too, how much did your surgery cost? It looks expensive!
Sebastian
Oct 29, 2013 at 1:06 am
I’m actually from Paraguay and let’s just say that things are pretty cheap there. My doctor had only performed that surgery 3 times before me so… it was definitely a wild ride.
Have you been on the pectusinfo forums? Go to my blog, or one of my channels, and contact me if you want more information on the surgery.