Connect with us

Life

Why You Should Embrace Imperfection To 10X Your Results And Win At Life

Published

on

Not So Perfect Barbie - Embrace Imperfection

One of the greatest reasons why we have pain in our life and fail to achieve our goals is because we somehow are trapped in the idea that perfection is a desirable result. I have spent my entire life trying to be perfect at stuff and always ended up being frustrated and not getting the results I want.

I was taught the idea of perfection, and it’s pitfalls, very early on in life without even realising it. As I have said on Addicted2Success many times, I used to be a musician. From an early age I was a world-class drummer and then later gave it up to become an electronic music producer.

When I studied the greats of music, I discovered that what made their music amazing was its imperfection. If you have ever seen someone try and copy a song perfectly, then you will instantly have spotted a fake (think annoying cover songs).

This idea of imperfect music became most apparent when I was given the individual tracks to every part of Queen’s famous song “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

As I listened to the vocal tracks with no other instruments, I began to hear all sorts of recording rules broken, imperfect singing, unpleasant noises, etc. What I learnt from listening to these Queen tracks is that it’s the sum of the imperfect parts (how we perform in individual life activities) that have the power to create an amazing masterpiece (our life).

I learnt, even more, lessons from music. I learnt that what makes a great groove is when each beat it not exactly in time and when the groove makes you really feel the song. If I showed you a song that is exactly in time and is kept in time by a machine, you would discover it has no feeling what so ever.

The feeling is the imperfection and that’s what makes a popular song. To increase your results, you must embrace this type of imperfection.

 

***Imperfect Blogging***

Have you ever read a blog post that was perfectly written, with each line carefully put together and spell checked? Have you noticed how these blog posts don’t go very deep and sound like something you have heard before? Have you ever wondered why these posts never get read?

The answer is simple; people want imperfection because imperfection equals emotion. When something is not perfect, it’s because there is human emotion put into every ounce of the outcome.

That’s why emotional blog posts, written off the cuff, have ten times the results of all the other generic rubbish you read on the internet and stop reading after two lines. Seek to be imperfect and to be uniquely you, and you will 10X the results of everyone else around you.

Here are the nine ways I am imperfect and how imperfection has 10X’d my results:

 

1. I can’t waste time and I’m always in a hurry

People see me as flawed because I am always in a hurry and want to save time no matter what. I pre-plan every destination I go to and always look for the quickest route. I always group together tasks so that two outcomes are achieved from one block of time.

This makes me imperfect because people sometimes don’t think I want to be around them or think I don’t have time for them. While this way of being often see’s other criticise me, it has 10X’d my results because I believe that time is valuable, and you should never waste a second.

I have some huge goals I want to achieve and I can never do this if I don’t value my time. Having met a lot of entrepreneurs in recent years, I have noticed that every one of them has a high level of urgency about what they are doing. It’s this urgency that allows you to win at life or your business.

 

2. I can’t take many breaks

Society is obsessed with escaping reality and always taking a break. While breaks are sometimes needed, I generally don’t take any breaks. People perceive this to mean that I am failing at life, or I can’t afford to take a break, or that I’m not into travelling the world.

All of these assumptions are wrong. I am imperfect and can’t take many breaks because I am so fixed on my goal to inspire the world that taking breaks makes me unhappy. Taking breaks makes me feel like I am not making progress or that I am participating in something that I haven’t yet earned.

What may sound like imperfection is the reason why I believe I have 10X’d the results of everyone around me. I don’t apologise for thinking different and I am not afraid to work twelve hours in a row as long as it’s on something that is directly linked to my passion, purpose, and something that makes me happy.

Change your perception around taking breaks, enjoy a holiday once in a while, and you will 10X the competition while they are sitting on the beach every day and you’re winning at life because your imperfect and hungry to change the world.

 

3. I get frustrated

I am imperfect because I constantly get frustrated at things. It could easily be misunderstood that I am frustrated because I am not in control of my life, but the opposite is true. I get frustrated because I value my purpose and will stop at nothing to achieve it.

The reason I get frustrated is usually when I am being asked or forced to do something that I believe doesn’t align with who I am and what I am passionate about. Frustration has the power to 10X your results if you use it in a positive way and allow it to drive you forward, rather than sabotage the way you feel.

Like everybody else, I ‘m human and I can’t be positive, optimistic, and in control 100% of the time. The aim is to try and spend most of your time in these states of being. The times when I slip out of these states are what make me successful and I embrace this imperfection – so should you.

 

4. I am not bold enough

There are way too many times in my life where I am not bold enough. I don’t play full out or I don’t take a big enough risk. Perfect people should do this all the time, but I don’t, and you probably don’t either.

I don’t frown upon the fact I’m not bold enough because it’s something that has allowed me to grow as a person. By not being bold enough, I have to try harder, and that has allowed me to realise this imperfection, embrace it, and conquer the fear of things like flying and public speaking.

See, it’s this imperfection that is pushing me towards success and defines who I am. If I were constantly being perfectly bold, then I would have no room to grow, and would be perceived by everyone to be fake.

“Too much perfection can make you appear fake and push you in the direction of failure. You will never be perfect so if that’s what you are striving for then failure is guaranteed”

 

5. I can’t always forgive people

Another big part of my imperfection is that I can’t forgive certain people no matter what. Many of the greats say that this is the number one thing you should do if you want to live a life of happiness. I agree with them except not forgiving certain people has allowed me to 10X my results.

These people that I have been able to forgive are also the same toxic people that use up my time, make me feel bad, encourage me to do the wrong thing, allow me to abuse my health, and a whole list of other negative effects.

If I didn’t have this imperfection of not being able to forgive everyone, I would probably still be losing at life, and be surrounded by people that would continue to sabotage my success. Does this imperfection mean I can’t forgive anyone at all? No, of course, it doesn’t.

In your own life, it’s important to forgive people but don’t feel like you must forgive everyone. At the same time, try to be forgiving as much as you can, when it’s warranted. Realise that people are imperfect and they make mistakes.

If someone is making the same mistake all the time, then adjust your approach, but if it’s a one off and you know it wasn’t intentional, then allow yourself to forgive that person’s moment of imperfection.

 

6. I can’t spend time with uninspiring people

Constantly, people are annoyed with me because I am very picky about who I spend time with and I have no issues leaving an event if I am surrounded by people and ideas that will sabotage my game plan for life.

This imperfection drives people nuts because they feel that I should be perfect, and be able to spend time with everyone no matter who they are.

Even though I have done lots of self-development, I do not believe that we should strive to be perfect and think that we have to spend time with whoever crosses our path. By being selective and moving away from uninspiring people, it has allowed me to 10X my results by spending time with the top 1%.

By spending time with inspiring people, I have been able to reshape my beliefs and re-educate myself in what matters in life. Your goal shouldn’t be to keep everyone happy at your own demise; your goal should be to pursue your passion and not let people or obstacles get in your way.

 

7. I still judge people

The next way I am imperfect is that I sometimes still judge people. As much as I believe in diversity and everyone being unique, I still fall into the trap of judging people every now and then. I might judge them because of their car, or the way they dress, or what they are eating.

This imperfection can make you very successful if you understand one core concept; when you are judging others, it’s because you are seeing your own reflection in the person you are judging. The very thing you are judging them for is the very thing that has affected you in some way.

So you’re probably wondering how the heck will judging others allow me to 10X my results? The answer is that when you judge others, and you understand the core concept I just presented to you, you realise that judging people allows you to see the parts of your life that you need to work on.

Judging others allows you to be imperfect and observe yourself in other people to help drive you further. When you see something in someone else that you despise, it gives you the opportunity to ask yourself why you despise that thing and reflect back on events that have occurred in the past.

As you reflect back on these past events, you get the chance to alter the course of these same events in the future – for the better.

 

8. I don’t eat and drink what everyone else does

I am constantly judged and told I am not perfect because I don’t allow myself to eat and drink what everyone else tells me to. When I go to a party, I consume very different things and have no issue in being thought as different.

If I were perfect, then I would let my hair down once in a while and consume things that suck my energy away and make me sick. The reality is I am not perfect though and this imperfection has allowed me to stay on track, achieve my goals, and 10X my results

I am never going to be tempted away from my goal to inspire others and will stop at nothing to stand guard at the door of my mouth….haha.

 

9. I don’t allow people to distract me

Distractions have caused me to become imperfect because I avoid them like there’s no tomorrow, and this can sometimes make me anti-social. People can think that I don’t want to be around them, when in fact, I am being imperfect and working in isolation to avoid distractions.

Perfect people are always available, they always want to talk, and they never go more than a few minutes without responding to an electronic message from someone. I am imperfect in this unique way, and it has made me win at life because I am clearly focused on my passion.

This can see me lock myself in a quiet room, turn my mobile phone off, go days without responding to social media, not attend social functions, etc. By doing all of these things it has allowed me to 10X my results because I have a disproportionate amount of time focused in the one area of my passion.

This means I can outwork anyone that has the same goal as me because I simply put in more hours. The key to the hours I put in is that they are highly focused – like a heat seeking missile – and so my thought patterns when I am in the state of flow are not interrupted.

I don’t choose to allow distractions to play ping pong with my mind so I am not living in a hyper state of anxious reactivity. I spend most of my life in a calm state of mind that lets me be who I am, and not have to apologise all the time for it because it doesn’t meet other people’s expectations.

 

***Final Thought***

By being you, by being imperfect, and by not caring what others think of you, I can confidentially say that you can 10X your results. The common theme about imperfection is that you need to become consciously aware of what is happening each day and find a way to use your imperfection so it serves you.

Trying to be perfect is impossible and can use up all of your time. Like music, imperfection is a way of life and it’s what makes you different from everyone else. If you remove imperfection, then we all become clones of each other like the clone character in Star Wars.

The reason why you never want to be perfect is that it can create a lot of procrastination in your life. By always wanting to be perfect you will never get started at anything. I always thought this about blogging and thought to myself one day I will start writing articles.

Quickly, I realised that one day never came because I was obsessed with perfect grammar, perfect sentences, and perfectly crafted ideas. The reality is, by writing things that are not perfect, people have wanted to read my posts and I have grown at the same time.

It’s taken me personally a long time to acknowledge my imperfections (especially in public) and embrace them as the reason why I am winning at life, and achieving greater results. Thanks for reading and hopefully you can see your imperfection as something you should learn to love.

What do you think about imperfection? What things are you not perfect at? Let me know in the comments section below or on my website timdenning.net and my Facebook. 

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

Continue Reading
Advertisement
9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. Zoenchii (@zoenchii)

    Apr 30, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    This post resonated within me! I am going through a phase for the last 2-3 months, when I don’t want to speak to anyone at all, or there are days when I want to meet everyone I know! There are days when I want to sleep 24 hours, and there are those days when I am so happy doing my makeup, dressing nice, and going out all day. People don’t get me. People expect me to find time for them every minute they call to hang out. I have often postponed my own plans like: staying home doing natural masks for hair/face, or working out and taking a good bath. I blew these plans in a constant basis only because I wanted to satisfy the person on the other side of my phone asking me to go out. Well, I am a people pleaser, but the thing is: I am learning to say NO! Even though I have been so tired these last months [maybe weather is to be blamed, it really affects my mood], I am happy that at least, I am wasting time doing nothing, but at least, I am not wasting it for other people I just don’t feel like meeting.
    Thank you for this article. It really made me climb one more step in the process of learning the power or a simple NO!

    • Tim Denning

      May 1, 2016 at 4:35 am

      Zoenchii glad you learnt something from my article. It sounds like you are going through Winter in your life at the moment but it will pass and you be back to Summer again I’m sure of it. All the best!

  2. ujay

    Apr 29, 2016 at 6:21 pm

    Wow, you did a great work with putting all these together. I had to write them down so I can go back and read them whenever I feel like. One of my imperfection is falling in love with the wrong person. Another is trusting those that doesn’t worth my trust.

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 30, 2016 at 1:16 am

      Thanks Ujay I was in a state of flow when I wrote these down so they just poured out in a very raw way. Thanks for sharing your imperfections as well 🙂

  3. Toño

    Apr 29, 2016 at 9:01 am

    What a wonderful intro Tim, I will say it again, you have a real thing to start your articles. I would even say ‘perfect’ haha, but in a good way 🙂

    Perfection was my huge theme for years as I always wanted to be desired, loved and of course, the most prefect guy in the room. The reality, though, quite often a ‘little bit’ different haha. Right now my body is in the process of teaching me how to accept your flaws and emrace them. I have an eye illness (yep still the same) and it’s evident. It has been quite a struggle for me for a while, as I have to work with people every single day, visual contact, sales etc I have to present myself good and of course the ‘perfect’ person like me always wants to be, well, perfect. I was constantly worrying what others may think of me, asking questions, or just stare.. It was so painfull at times I could hardly handle it, but then I beagn to realize it is all about me and this illness actually a good solution to increase my confidence and dependence on other people’s opinion by being out of your comfort zone most of the time. And even more, chance to escape that perfection I never actually had. It’s still a challenge for me, but just yesterday I was laying on the floor, laughing on this whole situation and thinking how you can just be you and enjoy life. And it was priceless! And today I’ve read lots of imperfect things about you, which is amazing 🙂

    Another thing I would like to share. There is a girl I work with, and she’s always perfect and lookin’ good. She loves to take slefies, her instagram account full of herself, and she is the type of those beauty queens. I saw her yesterday after swimming pool, without any make up, dry lips and skin, like normal people will have, tired, and stuff. And I thought she was pretty in her imperfection, like a real human being, a unique one, with flaws yet beautiful. It was funny as we spend much time together and I rarely see her like this. Lately of course she got all her make up and yet again, escaped the reality..

    That fear society taught us to always be like everyone else, in perfect condition, makes us do things we may not really desire to do. How often we scare what others will think about us? Like most of the time, and only the bravest minor will never follow the ship pack.

    Back to your article, I can relate to this 100%: ‘I can’t spend time with uninspiring people’ I cut off so many people out of my life and always extremely picky how and where spend my time that many who surrounds me think I’m very anti-social weirdo and just a cave man. Well, I would rather spend time alone in the cave, than with a bunch of toxic people that can hardly understand me. I have few friends and loving family I enjoy spend time with, and always lookin’ for new person to share experience and ideas, but again, I don’t have to be with everyone just because it may seem ‘normal’. And yes, I still do judge people and experienced the exact thing you explained in that paragraph.

    Going back to my home some voice into my head told me that thing: People may be mean to you, because you may be mean to people, for no reason. And that was like a cold shower! I tend to judge people for things that may mirror my behavior, or very close to that. It was such a cool deiscovery!

    I enjoyed this article, I think that was one of your best, honest an raw and for that I am very grateful! Thank you so much my friend, have a good day, take care and stay healthy!

    Oh, and you always can take a break and do something productive and cool, thus two things per one block time 😉

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 29, 2016 at 10:12 am

      Toño I just realised something; you’re an amazing writer. Thanks for sharing with us all about your own imperfections and your story about the girl at the pool. Imperfection is beauty plain and simple.
      Glad you liked the article and yes it’s very raw. The more raw the lessons are that I share, the more you will learn and the more relatable the information will be. Hopefully by me not being afraid to share my imperfections it will encourage others (such as yourself) to do the same and have a crack, and to play all out.

      Have a great weekend chief!

      • Toño

        Apr 30, 2016 at 2:50 am

        Before this article I honestly thought my messages here were long, chaotic, out of theme, awkward, in other word – imperfect. But I see now, they are imperfectly unique, and I feel good about it 🙂

        Thank you so much for the compliment, that means a big deal for me, and I appreciate all your support! You were right, as the more raw experience you share the more people it will attract, as they can all reflect on those breathing and living words you put together. I see more comments and I am sure more will come, because it feels natural and that’s the beauty of our nature.

        Thanks again, Tim, have a great weekend as well and never give up your idea, I’ll support you on that journey 🙂

  4. Shawn Lim

    Apr 29, 2016 at 2:54 am

    This reminds me of the quote, “Ever master was once a disaster”.
    Everyone started off as a beginner in something before they become an expert in it.
    Imperfections will lead us to do better in life.
    When you said our imperfections will 10x our results, I totally agree. 🙂

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 29, 2016 at 4:09 am

      Such a good quote Shawn thanks for sharing. Glad you enjoyed the article and got to the crux of what I was trying to say 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

Success Has Nothing To Do With Your iPhone Model Number.

Published

on

Success Has Nothing To Do With Your iPhone Model Number.

Recently, another new iPhone model was announced. Working in tech, people asked me when I’d be buying it. I told them probably not anytime soon, if at all.

“A piece of metal is never going to define my level of success and it shouldn’t define your success either”

Before you buy anything, think about why you’re making the purchase. We often make dumb decisions about buying stuff because we don’t think it through properly.

 

It’s a piece of metal

Before you have a giant orgasm over the new iPhone, remember that it’s just a chunk of metal. You’ve been using a chunk of metal as a phone for over a decade now. It’s not going to get your rocks off any more than the last phone you bought.

The new iPhone is not going to make love to you although it might remember your name and say it in some sexy, fake voice, so you feel like it’s your friend.

The iPhone is not your friend; it’s your enemy. A chunk of metal doesn’t define your success.

 

It doesn’t make your life better

If this chunk of metal – called an iPhone – really made our lives better then why are we more depressed than ever? A new phone is going to make you happy for about 3.1 seconds and then like a goldfish, you’ll have forgotten how privileged you are even to own one, as well as afford one, shortly after that.

Only you can make your life better by making better decisions. Choosing not to let material possessions own your life and your time is one way to make your life better. Say no to a new chunk of metal because it’s not making your life better.

 

Has anything really changed?

Between each of the iPhone models, it’s basically the same phone. Each time they change the screen size to indulge our ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) minds, but that’s about it. Think about it carefully.

 

That money, compounded, is more valuable

Read any of Warren Buffet’s or Tony Robbins books and you’ll see that the $1000 you shell out for a new iPhone is far better put towards investing. Invest in an index fund, invest in yourself, or use that $1000 to book a holiday so that you have something to look forward to and motivate you for the next six months.

The longer your money stays invested in one of the above, the more it compounds your results. Whether that is financially, personally or from a health point of you. Compounding wins every time.

“You don’t need a new chunk of metal; you need to invest instead”

 

Never follow the trends – create your own trend

Trends often fade away and a new iPhone is no different. Create your own trend. If everyone else is buying a new iPhone, then do the opposite. Don’t let marketers and technology companies tell you how to live your life. Live your life how you want to.

 

Are we more productive?

No freaking way. We’re more unproductive than ever and we consider way too many things because our ugly chunk of metal gives us unlimited opportunities to say yes to. Right now, your phone will allow you to book a tantric sex class that begins at 6 am somewhere near you if you really want.

You can literally learn anything at any time if you really want. My question to you is, does it really matter?

Even though you have unlimited options to be productive, you still procrastinate more than ever and so do I. We could be hyper-productive but we’re not and that’s okay. No chunk of metal is going to run your life for you and make you successful.

 

We don’t need even more distractions

My life already sucks because I get 101 notifications from WeChat, WhatsApp, Messenger and my three email addresses. It’s a full-time job managing all of this and I don’t buy into it. I don’t need to be always contactable – I need a life.

I’m not a robot and I’m not answerable to anyone. Think about this: Are you a free human soul or do you need to be told what to do by your phone?

I’m seeing more human disconnection than ever. At work, it’s easier to call people that are sitting next to me than it is to have a face-to-face conversation. Face-to-face conversations have become a battle between the other person looking down at their phone and occasionally glancing up to look you in the eye.

“All of us are sexier than an ugly piece of metal and we deserved to be looked at!”

 

Will I also be adding a new Apple Watch to my setup as well?

Not in a million years amigo. A watch is strapped to me and tells me everything via a tiny little screen. Can you imagine being in an intimate moment with your significant other and the watch is flashing and beeping at you? It’s enough to ruin anyone’s romance time.

The Apple Watch reminds me of a bracelet that future prisoners will wear to track their movements. I don’t intend on wearing an Apple Watch so I can be a prisoner in my own life. Life is hard enough already without having to be chained to technology.

 

Lastly, I’m enjoying aeroplane mode a lot these days

I could buy a new iPhone but I just love aeroplane mode way too much these days. Having the world of social media switched off and not being “ONLINE” all the time has given me space to think. In these brief moments of thinking I’ve been able to:

– Write inspiring blog posts that have gone viral
– Fall in love again
– Work on my health
– Read books and gain new skills
– Socialise with friends
– Mentor young entrepreneurs in a startup accelerator

Through these list of activities, I’ve been able to create more success than I could ever have imagined on my useless chunk of metal called an iPhone.

So honestly guys and girls, when people ask me if I’m buying a new iPhone, all I can say is “No I’m not buying a new iPhone because my life is more important. The human race and changing the world is more important.”

I need time to change the world and space to think; the new iPhone can’t do this for me and it never will.

No chunk of metal should ever define you and your success.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Continue Reading

Life

My Incredibly Simple Guide To Stoicism – Learn Practical Wisdom You Can Use

Published

on

I’ve been inspired to learn about Stoicism for a while.

The problem I’ve had is that it’s one of those topics that people love to complicate. The reason for the complication is that many of the teachings that come from Stoicism are spoken in English from a long time ago. I personally don’t have the patience to read this type of writing for long periods.

That’s why I’m going to debunk Stoicism for you in stupidly simple terms. The wisdom you get will transform you. You’ll gain a different perspective that will help you in all aspects of life.

“Everyone is preaching advice, but no one is sharing wisdom – that’s what Stoicism is”

 

What is Stoicism?

It’s an ancient form of philosophy. It was made famous in recent years again by Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday from the USA. These two gentleman credit a lot of their success to the wisdom that Stoicism taught them.

Stoicism began on a stoa which means porch to you and I. A stoa is where the early teachings of Stoicism started.

Here is Stoicism broken down into insanely simple dot points:

– Stoicism is focused on uncomplicated theories of life
– Stoicism is so clear that you can take action from the advice immediately
– Study is not required to understand Stoicism
– The most read Stoic is Lucius Seneca. Marcus Aurelius is also very popular

Stoicism doesn’t focus on the negative like modern-day self-help advice does. Stoicism is more a meditative practice that allows us to take the negative feelings we experience, and turn them into thoughts that give us peacefulness and perspective on life.

The most important part of learning Stoicism is having the right state of mind. Just like in life, the right state of mind can help us look at challenges in the best possible way.

At the crux of Stoicism is a list of reminders and words of wisdom that show how to live a good life. It’s not an argument about what is right and what is wrong. The Stoics had no time for this way of thinking.

Okay so now let’s skip ahead to the best lessons you can learn from Stoicism:

 

We don’t control events, but we do control what they mean.

This is a famous teaching from a lot of Tony Robbins work too. Everything that happens in your life can be controlled by your own mind to be good or bad. Once you understand this teaching, you can take back the power. You become less reactive and a lot calmer. You have the upper hand.

 

Disruptions to serenity cannot be avoided.

Tranquillity can never be reached by avoiding or blocking out distractions or horrible events. The way to get to that tranquil place is through your choices and judgment about those events and situations.

 

You must disrupt yourself.

Doing things the way they’ve always been done will lead you to be disrupted by someone or something who changes with the environment. Operating out of habit means you’ve stopped thinking and are mindlessly drifting through life. This means you’re not in control.

“When you lose control, your environment determines your results”

There’s a good chance that you’re going to think these results suck. The lesson here is break your habits, get out of your comfort zone and disrupt yourself like a cool, hip startup from Silicon Valley.

 

In good and bad times we have a choice.

Whether you’re in jail or an entrepreneur running the most successful startup on the planet, you have a choice. We all come from different backgrounds and we’ll all go through major highs, and painstaking lows. Through all of these different circumstances, we have a choice.

It’s having the freedom of choice that will set us free in the long run. It’s that freedom of choice that will ensure you don’t waste your life away thinking about stuff you can’t control. You’ll always feel the power of freedom when you control your choices, no matter what life throws at you.

 

Make it a habit of looking inward.

Stoics are obsessed with taking time to look inward. It’s something they advocate above all of their other teachings. They suggest spending time in the morning to ask yourself questions about your life. As you do this, you’ll find the answers to life’s biggest questions become clearer in the context of your own life.

Looking inward helps you find the answers that you knew all along and thought were hidden inside of someone else, or something else. This practice will only work if you’re honest with yourself. Don’t be too brutal on yourself either. Realize that we all start somewhere and it’s where we can go that is the greatest gift we can enjoy.

 

Being paranoid and fearful will destroy you.

The antidote to fear and paranoia is self-control. Learn to control your impulses. If you become fearful that others will sabotage your success and you don’t remain in control over these fearful thoughts, you’ll lose sight of reality. These fearful thoughts will cause you to project your fears onto other people and they’ll give you exactly what you fear.

In simple terms, fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you put out comes right back at you.

 

Anger will not help you.

The Stoics believe that getting angry never gives you anything in return. Anger wastes your precious energy and resources, and provides no tangible benefit. This is why it’s better to practice non-reactivity rather than being pissed off at something you can’t control anyway.

Anger is like a contagious virus that spreads if you let it. Don’t let anger control you. Projecting anger on people can only result in you projecting anger on yourself. That’s why anger is also another self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Everything takes up space.

Seneca wrote many times that even things you get for free have a cost. That cost is space – space in your garage or even space in your mind.

“Learning to live with less will create space in your life for the things that truly matter to you”

The aim of the game is to look at your material possession and be honest with yourself: do you really need that object? If the answer is no, free some space up in your life. What Seneca says here is the reason I have personally given away and sold most of my possessions. I’ve never been happier.

 

Practice poverty.

Especially during prosperous times in your life, the Stoics believe you should practice poverty. This is how you prepare for hardship and become an expert in dealing with the ups and downs of life. Comfort can become a form of slavery because you consistently start to think that someone could take away what you have.

When you’re familiar with what you fear, it no longer controls you. The worst can happen and you go through it with a sense of calmness and ease. People think you’re resilient but actually, you’ve just practiced the hard times as preparation.

Quick tip: try eating a really cheap meal for a whole week every two months. Eat like you have almost no money. This will teach you to not only appreciate the nice meals but to be okay if you ever face poverty and have to live on very little money for a while. I know a few people that do a beans and rice meal for this week of living it rough. Try it!

 

You protect everything you have, why not your mind?

You don’t give away your wallet to a stranger on the street. You don’t hand the keys to your car over to a budding thief. You wouldn’t let your house be demolished by the council without a fight. So why would you hand over the keys to your mind so easily to any stranger who wants them?

You have to become aware of who you are unconsciously giving your mind over to. You need to realize who is influencing you in a negative way without knowing it.

“Your mind can create all the abundance you could ever imagine, so you need to protect it like it’s the only possession you have”

 

Don’t wreck the purpose of your life by trying to impress others.

The Stoics teach that the opinions of people you seek our to impress are not that great themselves. These people you seek to impress have addictions, their own problems, and are no wiser than the next person. The purpose of your life is not to impress people and doing so will have the opposite effect.

Focus on impressing yourself through personal growth and wisdom from people who serve the greater good. Go beyond yourself and avoid the need to seek approval. Take action and seek forgiveness later if you must.

 

Without proper training, you’re a fool.

If you seek to master a skill, then without proper training you will (by default) rely on ignorance, and you’ll act in a way that lacks discipline and requires chance.

“An investor without discipline is not an investor – he’s a gambler” – Ryan Holiday

 

Your mind becomes what you think consistently.

Whether you think mostly negative thoughts or positive thoughts will determine your default response to any situation. The more we practice negative thinking, the more likely we are to see the world as negative.

If we choose to practice nothing, then we also get the same outcome of an influx of negative thoughts. The only wise choice then is to practice seeing the good in everything. Start with being grateful

 

You don’t know everything.

This is a thought that many people secretly have when they claim they want to learn something new. The harsh reality is that many of us walk around as though we know everything. We know nothing of the infinite knowledge there is to acquire.

That sort of humbleness is where all the best learning starts from. Thinking less of yourself is the ultimate power: it’s where you can grow from and serve others. It’s this way of thinking that births leaders.

 

Think of your problems in relation to the sky.

Marcus Aurelius says that the stars wash away the dust of earthly life. This Stoic concept is a way for you to clear your mind of all the troubles you encounter day-to-day. In comparison, your problems are so small compared to the immense size of the universe.

Your problems don’t matter in the grand scheme of things so don’t fool yourself into believing they do. Look at the stars once in a while. Remember how lucky we are even to experience this planet we call Earth.

 

Forget stereotypes and labels: concentrate on character.

Stoics believe your character should be your most prominent feature. Outward traits such as skin color and clothing should be insignificant. Your character is defined by the work you do on yourself each day and the person you become.

Your character is what sells you as a person better than any other external force. Your character is your legacy. Your character is what you want to be known for.

 

Don’t sit on the sidelines. Do something inspirational yourself.

You can sit here all day and listen to me inspire you. You can watch all the inspirational videos that Youtube has to offer. What would be far better is to go out there and inspire people yourself rather than being inspired.

Take the inspiration you’ve gathered in your life and do something with it so you can allow others to create their own inspirational journey. Be the example rather than only listening to the example and saying “One day I’ll do that.”

 

There is never an end to the personal development journey.

You never reach mastery. The student never stops being a student. Even the teacher is still a student at heart. Stoicism is something you apply consistently, and it never ends. You apply it until the day you die and that’s how you gain the infinite wisdom it offers.

“You’ll never drink all the water in the ocean, just like you’ll never learn everything there is to know about Stoic philosophy and that’s fine too”

 

Work is good for you.

Ever heard that when people retire, they are statistically more likely to die within a few years of achieving this milestone in their life? That’s because work gives us a sense of purpose. Work gives us a reason to get up in the morning. Making progress through doing meaningful work feels good.

Too much idle time and the delusion that you can get rich and sit on a beach is what can cause you to feel empty inside. This feeling can cause you to have self-destructive thoughts that lead to an immense focus on one’s selfish desires and need for significance. In other words, work is good.

 

Don’t make life harder than it is. It’s your choice.

Choices are what stoics believe are the way to take a shortcut in life. They believe we can choose whatever we want including happiness, freedom, respect and feelings of being wealthy. The reoccurring theme here again is that we are in control of everything that happens and how we feel.

 

How you handle disaster is everything.

The way you deal with problematic situations is a true test of your character. Character in stoicism is not formed when everything is going right; character is formed when everything is going wrong. Don’t let problems spoil your mindset. Let optimism guide you in all situations.

 

Seek out obstacles.

Obstacles are a way for you to take a challenge that you may not like and use it as a lesson that can help you for the rest of your life. You learn from hardships above all else. Lessons from hardships make you smarter, stronger and better prepared for when adversity strikes again.

 

You have one job and only one job.

The Stoics have a core belief that all of us have only one job on Planet Earth: to be a good human being. If you learned nothing else about stoicism from this blog post, then I’ve succeeded.

Practice being a good human being and you’ll have one hell of a life.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Continue Reading

Life

Why Choosing the Right Romantic Partner Is Crucial to Your Success

Published

on

business couple

There are lots of things which can affect your success at work. Your drive and ambition, how well you work with the rest of your team, how you are perceived by your boss, and of course, how good you are at your job. Nevertheless, did you ever think your partner’s personality could be a contributing factor, too?

Most people don’t think about their partner’s personality in terms of affecting their career success, but in fact, here are 5 reasons why your success at work lies in your partner’s personality:

1. You’re Independent – But You’re Not An Island

Some people are naturally resistant to the idea that their partner’s personality has an impact on their career success. It’s understandable. After all, aren’t we all sovereign beings who have sole responsibility for our lives and success?

But, think about it this way – are you more likely to perform well at work if you’re struggling with a lot of drama at home, or if your home life is running smoothly?

Imagine trying to get through an important meeting with your energy and focus intact, after a rough night fighting with your partner. When you think of it that way, it’s clear that your home life can and does impact your work life.

2. It Goes Beyond Whether You Fight Or Not

It’s obvious that having drama at home bleeds over into the workplace and impacts your performance. However, the effect of your partner’s personality on your career success goes beyond whether your relationship is drama-free or not.

Recent research from Washington University in St Louis shows that your partner’s personality has an effect on your working success. The study showed that the impact goes far beyond whether your partner is supportive during the big moments such as going for a promotion or a pay raise. In fact, your partner’s everyday behavior and attitude have a noticeable effect on your work life.

“It’s getting the right person that’s the challenge.” – Bob Schieffer

3. Why A Conscientious Partner Contributes To Work Success

Specifically, the study showed people who have a conscientious partner do better at work. If you have a conscientious partner, you know that you can trust them to do what they say they will do and have a strong sense of responsibility towards household tasks and chores.

People who have a conscientious partner feel more comfortable “outsourcing” to them. That means that if they’re busy at work, or caught up in a big project, they can put more attention and focus on it, because they know things at home will be taken care of in their absence. This increased focus makes it easier for them to succeed at work.

4. What If Your Partner Isn’t Conscientious?

Some of you might be reading this thinking “that’s great, but my partner isn’t that conscientious!” In that case, don’t despair. It’s time for some honest and open communication with your partner.

Sit down with your partner and talk honestly about how much their support means to you. Don’t accuse – that won’t help – but simply be honest about how their support at home contributes to your work life. Take the time to reassure them you want to offer them similar support when they need it.

5. It’s Time To Be Each Other’s Best Teammate

Whether it’s you who’s employed or your partner or the both of you, it’s time for you to be each other’s best teammate. Sit down with your partner and have an honest discussion about division of labor at home. Figure out who is responsible for which chores and household tasks, and talk about what happens when one of you is busy at work.

Being a good team goes beyond collaborating when it comes to housework and childcare, and into recognizing the way you impact each other’s work life and success. After all, success for one of you at work equals success for your household as a whole in terms of better cashflow and more stability.

“When I find the right person, nothing else will matter, but I’m prepared to kiss a lot of frogs.” – Sam Smith

Make time to talk with your partner about what is going on at their workplace, and share what is happening in your own career. Be aware of the times when your partner needs extra support because work is busy, and share honestly with them when you need some extra support.

Your home life has a direct impact on your working success. Stay aware of the effects so you can keep open communication with your partner and work towards greater success for both of you.

What does your partner do that makes you feel like they support you? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

5 Ways to Kickstart Your Morning and Dominate Your Day

Published

on

morning routine

For many years, I dreaded Monday mornings and felt extremely excited for Friday mornings. I lived with this mindset for years until I realized that this was not a way to live a happy life. Why did I let these emotions dictate my days, I thought? Since I had seen this mindset all around me, I eventually thought this mindset was normal.

It wasn’t until I started reading various books on personal development that I finally made this shift. One common theme that I noticed was that regardless of the day, successful people living in a state of joy are this way because of how they start off each and every day. Once I started to implement some new ways to live, my outlook on each day and in life drastically changed.

Here are 5 ways to begin each morning to dominate your day:

1. Wake up with an intention

Many times, when we wake up, we immediately check our emails, Facebook, Instagram, press the snooze button multiple times, and rush off to start the coffee maker before going to work. What about setting an intention to have a positive and productive day? This can be in the form of writing in a daily journal or even visualizing for 5 minutes on having a phenomenal day. When we do this, we immediately shift our minds to a place that makes us happy and excited to experience a great day. This is a quick tool and can take anywhere from 5-10 minutes.

2. Prepare your day in advance

When we are able to prepare our days ahead of time, we have a way of having a happy and joyful day. This can include scheduling out our productivity for the following day, doing tedious tasks when needed, and eliminating any procrastination. I have found when we bring over tasks that should have been completed the day before, we are only filling up our schedules with unnecessary things. This can also eliminate any stress that can also be avoided.

“Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” – Alexander Graham Bell

3. Spend time alone

There is nothing more liberating than being able to spend time alone in the morning before starting your day. Two of my favorite activities include meditation and reading for 30 minutes. These activities also tie into setting an intention for the day. They assist in setting a clear, calm, and amazing tone for the day. Also, when you are able to do things you absolutely love, this happiness stays with you throughout the day and also increases your energy for yourself and those around you.

4. Learn something new that excites you

Have you ever learned a new skill and felt so excited about it that you weren’t able to sleep? If you have, congratulations! This usually signifies that you have found your calling and are closer to fulfilling your purpose on earth. Think of a skill you have been wanting to learn that absolutely excites you. When you do this, you will find yourself waking up with more excitement because of this new skill set has set your soul on fire to learn. Be excited about this and include this new skillset as part of your morning routine.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi

5. Each day is a new opportunity

How many times have you heard someone say “I cannot do that, I am not a morning person.” Well, when we tell ourselves this, our subconscious mind takes this as being true and will make you believe this. However, if we change our mindsets and tell ourselves every day is another opportunity to make a difference, add more value to the lives around us, and achieve our dreams and goals, our day will be better off.

This is very exciting to think about. If you are someone who is still looking for exciting days ahead, take some time to reflect on what excites you. Maybe it is a new skill set or just a new routine to start off your days ahead. Every morning sets the tone for the day. Set a tone of joy and bliss and let that carry you out throughout the day!

One of the easiest ways to implement these steps is to pick out a few you feel really good about. These will be the easier ones to work with and then move on to the other steps that may take you out of your comfort zone. It may be difficult at first, but it always becomes easier and even more rewarding. Make each day count. You totally deserve it!

How do you live each day purposefully? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Trending

Life

Success Has Nothing To Do With Your iPhone Model Number.

Published

on

Success Has Nothing To Do With Your iPhone Model Number.

Recently, another new iPhone model was announced. Working in tech, people asked me when I’d be buying it. I told them probably not anytime soon, if at all.

“A piece of metal is never going to define my level of success and it shouldn’t define your success either”

Before you buy anything, think about why you’re making the purchase. We often make dumb decisions about buying stuff because we don’t think it through properly.

 

It’s a piece of metal

Before you have a giant orgasm over the new iPhone, remember that it’s just a chunk of metal. You’ve been using a chunk of metal as a phone for over a decade now. It’s not going to get your rocks off any more than the last phone you bought.

The new iPhone is not going to make love to you although it might remember your name and say it in some sexy, fake voice, so you feel like it’s your friend.

The iPhone is not your friend; it’s your enemy. A chunk of metal doesn’t define your success.

 

It doesn’t make your life better

If this chunk of metal – called an iPhone – really made our lives better then why are we more depressed than ever? A new phone is going to make you happy for about 3.1 seconds and then like a goldfish, you’ll have forgotten how privileged you are even to own one, as well as afford one, shortly after that.

Only you can make your life better by making better decisions. Choosing not to let material possessions own your life and your time is one way to make your life better. Say no to a new chunk of metal because it’s not making your life better.

 

Has anything really changed?

Between each of the iPhone models, it’s basically the same phone. Each time they change the screen size to indulge our ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) minds, but that’s about it. Think about it carefully.

 

That money, compounded, is more valuable

Read any of Warren Buffet’s or Tony Robbins books and you’ll see that the $1000 you shell out for a new iPhone is far better put towards investing. Invest in an index fund, invest in yourself, or use that $1000 to book a holiday so that you have something to look forward to and motivate you for the next six months.

The longer your money stays invested in one of the above, the more it compounds your results. Whether that is financially, personally or from a health point of you. Compounding wins every time.

“You don’t need a new chunk of metal; you need to invest instead”

 

Never follow the trends – create your own trend

Trends often fade away and a new iPhone is no different. Create your own trend. If everyone else is buying a new iPhone, then do the opposite. Don’t let marketers and technology companies tell you how to live your life. Live your life how you want to.

 

Are we more productive?

No freaking way. We’re more unproductive than ever and we consider way too many things because our ugly chunk of metal gives us unlimited opportunities to say yes to. Right now, your phone will allow you to book a tantric sex class that begins at 6 am somewhere near you if you really want.

You can literally learn anything at any time if you really want. My question to you is, does it really matter?

Even though you have unlimited options to be productive, you still procrastinate more than ever and so do I. We could be hyper-productive but we’re not and that’s okay. No chunk of metal is going to run your life for you and make you successful.

 

We don’t need even more distractions

My life already sucks because I get 101 notifications from WeChat, WhatsApp, Messenger and my three email addresses. It’s a full-time job managing all of this and I don’t buy into it. I don’t need to be always contactable – I need a life.

I’m not a robot and I’m not answerable to anyone. Think about this: Are you a free human soul or do you need to be told what to do by your phone?

I’m seeing more human disconnection than ever. At work, it’s easier to call people that are sitting next to me than it is to have a face-to-face conversation. Face-to-face conversations have become a battle between the other person looking down at their phone and occasionally glancing up to look you in the eye.

“All of us are sexier than an ugly piece of metal and we deserved to be looked at!”

 

Will I also be adding a new Apple Watch to my setup as well?

Not in a million years amigo. A watch is strapped to me and tells me everything via a tiny little screen. Can you imagine being in an intimate moment with your significant other and the watch is flashing and beeping at you? It’s enough to ruin anyone’s romance time.

The Apple Watch reminds me of a bracelet that future prisoners will wear to track their movements. I don’t intend on wearing an Apple Watch so I can be a prisoner in my own life. Life is hard enough already without having to be chained to technology.

 

Lastly, I’m enjoying aeroplane mode a lot these days

I could buy a new iPhone but I just love aeroplane mode way too much these days. Having the world of social media switched off and not being “ONLINE” all the time has given me space to think. In these brief moments of thinking I’ve been able to:

– Write inspiring blog posts that have gone viral
– Fall in love again
– Work on my health
– Read books and gain new skills
– Socialise with friends
– Mentor young entrepreneurs in a startup accelerator

Through these list of activities, I’ve been able to create more success than I could ever have imagined on my useless chunk of metal called an iPhone.

So honestly guys and girls, when people ask me if I’m buying a new iPhone, all I can say is “No I’m not buying a new iPhone because my life is more important. The human race and changing the world is more important.”

I need time to change the world and space to think; the new iPhone can’t do this for me and it never will.

No chunk of metal should ever define you and your success.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

Continue Reading
Advertisement
9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. Zoenchii (@zoenchii)

    Apr 30, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    This post resonated within me! I am going through a phase for the last 2-3 months, when I don’t want to speak to anyone at all, or there are days when I want to meet everyone I know! There are days when I want to sleep 24 hours, and there are those days when I am so happy doing my makeup, dressing nice, and going out all day. People don’t get me. People expect me to find time for them every minute they call to hang out. I have often postponed my own plans like: staying home doing natural masks for hair/face, or working out and taking a good bath. I blew these plans in a constant basis only because I wanted to satisfy the person on the other side of my phone asking me to go out. Well, I am a people pleaser, but the thing is: I am learning to say NO! Even though I have been so tired these last months [maybe weather is to be blamed, it really affects my mood], I am happy that at least, I am wasting time doing nothing, but at least, I am not wasting it for other people I just don’t feel like meeting.
    Thank you for this article. It really made me climb one more step in the process of learning the power or a simple NO!

    • Tim Denning

      May 1, 2016 at 4:35 am

      Zoenchii glad you learnt something from my article. It sounds like you are going through Winter in your life at the moment but it will pass and you be back to Summer again I’m sure of it. All the best!

  2. ujay

    Apr 29, 2016 at 6:21 pm

    Wow, you did a great work with putting all these together. I had to write them down so I can go back and read them whenever I feel like. One of my imperfection is falling in love with the wrong person. Another is trusting those that doesn’t worth my trust.

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 30, 2016 at 1:16 am

      Thanks Ujay I was in a state of flow when I wrote these down so they just poured out in a very raw way. Thanks for sharing your imperfections as well 🙂

  3. Toño

    Apr 29, 2016 at 9:01 am

    What a wonderful intro Tim, I will say it again, you have a real thing to start your articles. I would even say ‘perfect’ haha, but in a good way 🙂

    Perfection was my huge theme for years as I always wanted to be desired, loved and of course, the most prefect guy in the room. The reality, though, quite often a ‘little bit’ different haha. Right now my body is in the process of teaching me how to accept your flaws and emrace them. I have an eye illness (yep still the same) and it’s evident. It has been quite a struggle for me for a while, as I have to work with people every single day, visual contact, sales etc I have to present myself good and of course the ‘perfect’ person like me always wants to be, well, perfect. I was constantly worrying what others may think of me, asking questions, or just stare.. It was so painfull at times I could hardly handle it, but then I beagn to realize it is all about me and this illness actually a good solution to increase my confidence and dependence on other people’s opinion by being out of your comfort zone most of the time. And even more, chance to escape that perfection I never actually had. It’s still a challenge for me, but just yesterday I was laying on the floor, laughing on this whole situation and thinking how you can just be you and enjoy life. And it was priceless! And today I’ve read lots of imperfect things about you, which is amazing 🙂

    Another thing I would like to share. There is a girl I work with, and she’s always perfect and lookin’ good. She loves to take slefies, her instagram account full of herself, and she is the type of those beauty queens. I saw her yesterday after swimming pool, without any make up, dry lips and skin, like normal people will have, tired, and stuff. And I thought she was pretty in her imperfection, like a real human being, a unique one, with flaws yet beautiful. It was funny as we spend much time together and I rarely see her like this. Lately of course she got all her make up and yet again, escaped the reality..

    That fear society taught us to always be like everyone else, in perfect condition, makes us do things we may not really desire to do. How often we scare what others will think about us? Like most of the time, and only the bravest minor will never follow the ship pack.

    Back to your article, I can relate to this 100%: ‘I can’t spend time with uninspiring people’ I cut off so many people out of my life and always extremely picky how and where spend my time that many who surrounds me think I’m very anti-social weirdo and just a cave man. Well, I would rather spend time alone in the cave, than with a bunch of toxic people that can hardly understand me. I have few friends and loving family I enjoy spend time with, and always lookin’ for new person to share experience and ideas, but again, I don’t have to be with everyone just because it may seem ‘normal’. And yes, I still do judge people and experienced the exact thing you explained in that paragraph.

    Going back to my home some voice into my head told me that thing: People may be mean to you, because you may be mean to people, for no reason. And that was like a cold shower! I tend to judge people for things that may mirror my behavior, or very close to that. It was such a cool deiscovery!

    I enjoyed this article, I think that was one of your best, honest an raw and for that I am very grateful! Thank you so much my friend, have a good day, take care and stay healthy!

    Oh, and you always can take a break and do something productive and cool, thus two things per one block time 😉

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 29, 2016 at 10:12 am

      Toño I just realised something; you’re an amazing writer. Thanks for sharing with us all about your own imperfections and your story about the girl at the pool. Imperfection is beauty plain and simple.
      Glad you liked the article and yes it’s very raw. The more raw the lessons are that I share, the more you will learn and the more relatable the information will be. Hopefully by me not being afraid to share my imperfections it will encourage others (such as yourself) to do the same and have a crack, and to play all out.

      Have a great weekend chief!

      • Toño

        Apr 30, 2016 at 2:50 am

        Before this article I honestly thought my messages here were long, chaotic, out of theme, awkward, in other word – imperfect. But I see now, they are imperfectly unique, and I feel good about it 🙂

        Thank you so much for the compliment, that means a big deal for me, and I appreciate all your support! You were right, as the more raw experience you share the more people it will attract, as they can all reflect on those breathing and living words you put together. I see more comments and I am sure more will come, because it feels natural and that’s the beauty of our nature.

        Thanks again, Tim, have a great weekend as well and never give up your idea, I’ll support you on that journey 🙂

  4. Shawn Lim

    Apr 29, 2016 at 2:54 am

    This reminds me of the quote, “Ever master was once a disaster”.
    Everyone started off as a beginner in something before they become an expert in it.
    Imperfections will lead us to do better in life.
    When you said our imperfections will 10x our results, I totally agree. 🙂

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 29, 2016 at 4:09 am

      Such a good quote Shawn thanks for sharing. Glad you enjoyed the article and got to the crux of what I was trying to say 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

Success Has Nothing To Do With Your iPhone Model Number.

Published

on

Success Has Nothing To Do With Your iPhone Model Number.

Recently, another new iPhone model was announced. Working in tech, people asked me when I’d be buying it. I told them probably not anytime soon, if at all.

“A piece of metal is never going to define my level of success and it shouldn’t define your success either”

Before you buy anything, think about why you’re making the purchase. We often make dumb decisions about buying stuff because we don’t think it through properly.

 

It’s a piece of metal

Before you have a giant orgasm over the new iPhone, remember that it’s just a chunk of metal. You’ve been using a chunk of metal as a phone for over a decade now. It’s not going to get your rocks off any more than the last phone you bought.

The new iPhone is not going to make love to you although it might remember your name and say it in some sexy, fake voice, so you feel like it’s your friend.

The iPhone is not your friend; it’s your enemy. A chunk of metal doesn’t define your success.

 

It doesn’t make your life better

If this chunk of metal – called an iPhone – really made our lives better then why are we more depressed than ever? A new phone is going to make you happy for about 3.1 seconds and then like a goldfish, you’ll have forgotten how privileged you are even to own one, as well as afford one, shortly after that.

Only you can make your life better by making better decisions. Choosing not to let material possessions own your life and your time is one way to make your life better. Say no to a new chunk of metal because it’s not making your life better.

 

Has anything really changed?

Between each of the iPhone models, it’s basically the same phone. Each time they change the screen size to indulge our ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) minds, but that’s about it. Think about it carefully.

 

That money, compounded, is more valuable

Read any of Warren Buffet’s or Tony Robbins books and you’ll see that the $1000 you shell out for a new iPhone is far better put towards investing. Invest in an index fund, invest in yourself, or use that $1000 to book a holiday so that you have something to look forward to and motivate you for the next six months.

The longer your money stays invested in one of the above, the more it compounds your results. Whether that is financially, personally or from a health point of you. Compounding wins every time.

“You don’t need a new chunk of metal; you need to invest instead”

 

Never follow the trends – create your own trend

Trends often fade away and a new iPhone is no different. Create your own trend. If everyone else is buying a new iPhone, then do the opposite. Don’t let marketers and technology companies tell you how to live your life. Live your life how you want to.

 

Are we more productive?

No freaking way. We’re more unproductive than ever and we consider way too many things because our ugly chunk of metal gives us unlimited opportunities to say yes to. Right now, your phone will allow you to book a tantric sex class that begins at 6 am somewhere near you if you really want.

You can literally learn anything at any time if you really want. My question to you is, does it really matter?

Even though you have unlimited options to be productive, you still procrastinate more than ever and so do I. We could be hyper-productive but we’re not and that’s okay. No chunk of metal is going to run your life for you and make you successful.

 

We don’t need even more distractions

My life already sucks because I get 101 notifications from WeChat, WhatsApp, Messenger and my three email addresses. It’s a full-time job managing all of this and I don’t buy into it. I don’t need to be always contactable – I need a life.

I’m not a robot and I’m not answerable to anyone. Think about this: Are you a free human soul or do you need to be told what to do by your phone?

I’m seeing more human disconnection than ever. At work, it’s easier to call people that are sitting next to me than it is to have a face-to-face conversation. Face-to-face conversations have become a battle between the other person looking down at their phone and occasionally glancing up to look you in the eye.

“All of us are sexier than an ugly piece of metal and we deserved to be looked at!”

 

Will I also be adding a new Apple Watch to my setup as well?

Not in a million years amigo. A watch is strapped to me and tells me everything via a tiny little screen. Can you imagine being in an intimate moment with your significant other and the watch is flashing and beeping at you? It’s enough to ruin anyone’s romance time.

The Apple Watch reminds me of a bracelet that future prisoners will wear to track their movements. I don’t intend on wearing an Apple Watch so I can be a prisoner in my own life. Life is hard enough already without having to be chained to technology.

 

Lastly, I’m enjoying aeroplane mode a lot these days

I could buy a new iPhone but I just love aeroplane mode way too much these days. Having the world of social media switched off and not being “ONLINE” all the time has given me space to think. In these brief moments of thinking I’ve been able to:

– Write inspiring blog posts that have gone viral
– Fall in love again
– Work on my health
– Read books and gain new skills
– Socialise with friends
– Mentor young entrepreneurs in a startup accelerator

Through these list of activities, I’ve been able to create more success than I could ever have imagined on my useless chunk of metal called an iPhone.

So honestly guys and girls, when people ask me if I’m buying a new iPhone, all I can say is “No I’m not buying a new iPhone because my life is more important. The human race and changing the world is more important.”

I need time to change the world and space to think; the new iPhone can’t do this for me and it never will.

No chunk of metal should ever define you and your success.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Continue Reading

Life

My Incredibly Simple Guide To Stoicism – Learn Practical Wisdom You Can Use

Published

on

I’ve been inspired to learn about Stoicism for a while.

The problem I’ve had is that it’s one of those topics that people love to complicate. The reason for the complication is that many of the teachings that come from Stoicism are spoken in English from a long time ago. I personally don’t have the patience to read this type of writing for long periods.

That’s why I’m going to debunk Stoicism for you in stupidly simple terms. The wisdom you get will transform you. You’ll gain a different perspective that will help you in all aspects of life.

“Everyone is preaching advice, but no one is sharing wisdom – that’s what Stoicism is”

 

What is Stoicism?

It’s an ancient form of philosophy. It was made famous in recent years again by Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday from the USA. These two gentleman credit a lot of their success to the wisdom that Stoicism taught them.

Stoicism began on a stoa which means porch to you and I. A stoa is where the early teachings of Stoicism started.

Here is Stoicism broken down into insanely simple dot points:

– Stoicism is focused on uncomplicated theories of life
– Stoicism is so clear that you can take action from the advice immediately
– Study is not required to understand Stoicism
– The most read Stoic is Lucius Seneca. Marcus Aurelius is also very popular

Stoicism doesn’t focus on the negative like modern-day self-help advice does. Stoicism is more a meditative practice that allows us to take the negative feelings we experience, and turn them into thoughts that give us peacefulness and perspective on life.

The most important part of learning Stoicism is having the right state of mind. Just like in life, the right state of mind can help us look at challenges in the best possible way.

At the crux of Stoicism is a list of reminders and words of wisdom that show how to live a good life. It’s not an argument about what is right and what is wrong. The Stoics had no time for this way of thinking.

Okay so now let’s skip ahead to the best lessons you can learn from Stoicism:

 

We don’t control events, but we do control what they mean.

This is a famous teaching from a lot of Tony Robbins work too. Everything that happens in your life can be controlled by your own mind to be good or bad. Once you understand this teaching, you can take back the power. You become less reactive and a lot calmer. You have the upper hand.

 

Disruptions to serenity cannot be avoided.

Tranquillity can never be reached by avoiding or blocking out distractions or horrible events. The way to get to that tranquil place is through your choices and judgment about those events and situations.

 

You must disrupt yourself.

Doing things the way they’ve always been done will lead you to be disrupted by someone or something who changes with the environment. Operating out of habit means you’ve stopped thinking and are mindlessly drifting through life. This means you’re not in control.

“When you lose control, your environment determines your results”

There’s a good chance that you’re going to think these results suck. The lesson here is break your habits, get out of your comfort zone and disrupt yourself like a cool, hip startup from Silicon Valley.

 

In good and bad times we have a choice.

Whether you’re in jail or an entrepreneur running the most successful startup on the planet, you have a choice. We all come from different backgrounds and we’ll all go through major highs, and painstaking lows. Through all of these different circumstances, we have a choice.

It’s having the freedom of choice that will set us free in the long run. It’s that freedom of choice that will ensure you don’t waste your life away thinking about stuff you can’t control. You’ll always feel the power of freedom when you control your choices, no matter what life throws at you.

 

Make it a habit of looking inward.

Stoics are obsessed with taking time to look inward. It’s something they advocate above all of their other teachings. They suggest spending time in the morning to ask yourself questions about your life. As you do this, you’ll find the answers to life’s biggest questions become clearer in the context of your own life.

Looking inward helps you find the answers that you knew all along and thought were hidden inside of someone else, or something else. This practice will only work if you’re honest with yourself. Don’t be too brutal on yourself either. Realize that we all start somewhere and it’s where we can go that is the greatest gift we can enjoy.

 

Being paranoid and fearful will destroy you.

The antidote to fear and paranoia is self-control. Learn to control your impulses. If you become fearful that others will sabotage your success and you don’t remain in control over these fearful thoughts, you’ll lose sight of reality. These fearful thoughts will cause you to project your fears onto other people and they’ll give you exactly what you fear.

In simple terms, fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you put out comes right back at you.

 

Anger will not help you.

The Stoics believe that getting angry never gives you anything in return. Anger wastes your precious energy and resources, and provides no tangible benefit. This is why it’s better to practice non-reactivity rather than being pissed off at something you can’t control anyway.

Anger is like a contagious virus that spreads if you let it. Don’t let anger control you. Projecting anger on people can only result in you projecting anger on yourself. That’s why anger is also another self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Everything takes up space.

Seneca wrote many times that even things you get for free have a cost. That cost is space – space in your garage or even space in your mind.

“Learning to live with less will create space in your life for the things that truly matter to you”

The aim of the game is to look at your material possession and be honest with yourself: do you really need that object? If the answer is no, free some space up in your life. What Seneca says here is the reason I have personally given away and sold most of my possessions. I’ve never been happier.

 

Practice poverty.

Especially during prosperous times in your life, the Stoics believe you should practice poverty. This is how you prepare for hardship and become an expert in dealing with the ups and downs of life. Comfort can become a form of slavery because you consistently start to think that someone could take away what you have.

When you’re familiar with what you fear, it no longer controls you. The worst can happen and you go through it with a sense of calmness and ease. People think you’re resilient but actually, you’ve just practiced the hard times as preparation.

Quick tip: try eating a really cheap meal for a whole week every two months. Eat like you have almost no money. This will teach you to not only appreciate the nice meals but to be okay if you ever face poverty and have to live on very little money for a while. I know a few people that do a beans and rice meal for this week of living it rough. Try it!

 

You protect everything you have, why not your mind?

You don’t give away your wallet to a stranger on the street. You don’t hand the keys to your car over to a budding thief. You wouldn’t let your house be demolished by the council without a fight. So why would you hand over the keys to your mind so easily to any stranger who wants them?

You have to become aware of who you are unconsciously giving your mind over to. You need to realize who is influencing you in a negative way without knowing it.

“Your mind can create all the abundance you could ever imagine, so you need to protect it like it’s the only possession you have”

 

Don’t wreck the purpose of your life by trying to impress others.

The Stoics teach that the opinions of people you seek our to impress are not that great themselves. These people you seek to impress have addictions, their own problems, and are no wiser than the next person. The purpose of your life is not to impress people and doing so will have the opposite effect.

Focus on impressing yourself through personal growth and wisdom from people who serve the greater good. Go beyond yourself and avoid the need to seek approval. Take action and seek forgiveness later if you must.

 

Without proper training, you’re a fool.

If you seek to master a skill, then without proper training you will (by default) rely on ignorance, and you’ll act in a way that lacks discipline and requires chance.

“An investor without discipline is not an investor – he’s a gambler” – Ryan Holiday

 

Your mind becomes what you think consistently.

Whether you think mostly negative thoughts or positive thoughts will determine your default response to any situation. The more we practice negative thinking, the more likely we are to see the world as negative.

If we choose to practice nothing, then we also get the same outcome of an influx of negative thoughts. The only wise choice then is to practice seeing the good in everything. Start with being grateful

 

You don’t know everything.

This is a thought that many people secretly have when they claim they want to learn something new. The harsh reality is that many of us walk around as though we know everything. We know nothing of the infinite knowledge there is to acquire.

That sort of humbleness is where all the best learning starts from. Thinking less of yourself is the ultimate power: it’s where you can grow from and serve others. It’s this way of thinking that births leaders.

 

Think of your problems in relation to the sky.

Marcus Aurelius says that the stars wash away the dust of earthly life. This Stoic concept is a way for you to clear your mind of all the troubles you encounter day-to-day. In comparison, your problems are so small compared to the immense size of the universe.

Your problems don’t matter in the grand scheme of things so don’t fool yourself into believing they do. Look at the stars once in a while. Remember how lucky we are even to experience this planet we call Earth.

 

Forget stereotypes and labels: concentrate on character.

Stoics believe your character should be your most prominent feature. Outward traits such as skin color and clothing should be insignificant. Your character is defined by the work you do on yourself each day and the person you become.

Your character is what sells you as a person better than any other external force. Your character is your legacy. Your character is what you want to be known for.

 

Don’t sit on the sidelines. Do something inspirational yourself.

You can sit here all day and listen to me inspire you. You can watch all the inspirational videos that Youtube has to offer. What would be far better is to go out there and inspire people yourself rather than being inspired.

Take the inspiration you’ve gathered in your life and do something with it so you can allow others to create their own inspirational journey. Be the example rather than only listening to the example and saying “One day I’ll do that.”

 

There is never an end to the personal development journey.

You never reach mastery. The student never stops being a student. Even the teacher is still a student at heart. Stoicism is something you apply consistently, and it never ends. You apply it until the day you die and that’s how you gain the infinite wisdom it offers.

“You’ll never drink all the water in the ocean, just like you’ll never learn everything there is to know about Stoic philosophy and that’s fine too”

 

Work is good for you.

Ever heard that when people retire, they are statistically more likely to die within a few years of achieving this milestone in their life? That’s because work gives us a sense of purpose. Work gives us a reason to get up in the morning. Making progress through doing meaningful work feels good.

Too much idle time and the delusion that you can get rich and sit on a beach is what can cause you to feel empty inside. This feeling can cause you to have self-destructive thoughts that lead to an immense focus on one’s selfish desires and need for significance. In other words, work is good.

 

Don’t make life harder than it is. It’s your choice.

Choices are what stoics believe are the way to take a shortcut in life. They believe we can choose whatever we want including happiness, freedom, respect and feelings of being wealthy. The reoccurring theme here again is that we are in control of everything that happens and how we feel.

 

How you handle disaster is everything.

The way you deal with problematic situations is a true test of your character. Character in stoicism is not formed when everything is going right; character is formed when everything is going wrong. Don’t let problems spoil your mindset. Let optimism guide you in all situations.

 

Seek out obstacles.

Obstacles are a way for you to take a challenge that you may not like and use it as a lesson that can help you for the rest of your life. You learn from hardships above all else. Lessons from hardships make you smarter, stronger and better prepared for when adversity strikes again.

 

You have one job and only one job.

The Stoics have a core belief that all of us have only one job on Planet Earth: to be a good human being. If you learned nothing else about stoicism from this blog post, then I’ve succeeded.

Practice being a good human being and you’ll have one hell of a life.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Continue Reading

Life

Why Choosing the Right Romantic Partner Is Crucial to Your Success

Published

on

business couple

There are lots of things which can affect your success at work. Your drive and ambition, how well you work with the rest of your team, how you are perceived by your boss, and of course, how good you are at your job. Nevertheless, did you ever think your partner’s personality could be a contributing factor, too?

Most people don’t think about their partner’s personality in terms of affecting their career success, but in fact, here are 5 reasons why your success at work lies in your partner’s personality:

1. You’re Independent – But You’re Not An Island

Some people are naturally resistant to the idea that their partner’s personality has an impact on their career success. It’s understandable. After all, aren’t we all sovereign beings who have sole responsibility for our lives and success?

But, think about it this way – are you more likely to perform well at work if you’re struggling with a lot of drama at home, or if your home life is running smoothly?

Imagine trying to get through an important meeting with your energy and focus intact, after a rough night fighting with your partner. When you think of it that way, it’s clear that your home life can and does impact your work life.

2. It Goes Beyond Whether You Fight Or Not

It’s obvious that having drama at home bleeds over into the workplace and impacts your performance. However, the effect of your partner’s personality on your career success goes beyond whether your relationship is drama-free or not.

Recent research from Washington University in St Louis shows that your partner’s personality has an effect on your working success. The study showed that the impact goes far beyond whether your partner is supportive during the big moments such as going for a promotion or a pay raise. In fact, your partner’s everyday behavior and attitude have a noticeable effect on your work life.

“It’s getting the right person that’s the challenge.” – Bob Schieffer

3. Why A Conscientious Partner Contributes To Work Success

Specifically, the study showed people who have a conscientious partner do better at work. If you have a conscientious partner, you know that you can trust them to do what they say they will do and have a strong sense of responsibility towards household tasks and chores.

People who have a conscientious partner feel more comfortable “outsourcing” to them. That means that if they’re busy at work, or caught up in a big project, they can put more attention and focus on it, because they know things at home will be taken care of in their absence. This increased focus makes it easier for them to succeed at work.

4. What If Your Partner Isn’t Conscientious?

Some of you might be reading this thinking “that’s great, but my partner isn’t that conscientious!” In that case, don’t despair. It’s time for some honest and open communication with your partner.

Sit down with your partner and talk honestly about how much their support means to you. Don’t accuse – that won’t help – but simply be honest about how their support at home contributes to your work life. Take the time to reassure them you want to offer them similar support when they need it.

5. It’s Time To Be Each Other’s Best Teammate

Whether it’s you who’s employed or your partner or the both of you, it’s time for you to be each other’s best teammate. Sit down with your partner and have an honest discussion about division of labor at home. Figure out who is responsible for which chores and household tasks, and talk about what happens when one of you is busy at work.

Being a good team goes beyond collaborating when it comes to housework and childcare, and into recognizing the way you impact each other’s work life and success. After all, success for one of you at work equals success for your household as a whole in terms of better cashflow and more stability.

“When I find the right person, nothing else will matter, but I’m prepared to kiss a lot of frogs.” – Sam Smith

Make time to talk with your partner about what is going on at their workplace, and share what is happening in your own career. Be aware of the times when your partner needs extra support because work is busy, and share honestly with them when you need some extra support.

Your home life has a direct impact on your working success. Stay aware of the effects so you can keep open communication with your partner and work towards greater success for both of you.

What does your partner do that makes you feel like they support you? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Life

5 Ways to Kickstart Your Morning and Dominate Your Day

Published

on

morning routine

For many years, I dreaded Monday mornings and felt extremely excited for Friday mornings. I lived with this mindset for years until I realized that this was not a way to live a happy life. Why did I let these emotions dictate my days, I thought? Since I had seen this mindset all around me, I eventually thought this mindset was normal.

It wasn’t until I started reading various books on personal development that I finally made this shift. One common theme that I noticed was that regardless of the day, successful people living in a state of joy are this way because of how they start off each and every day. Once I started to implement some new ways to live, my outlook on each day and in life drastically changed.

Here are 5 ways to begin each morning to dominate your day:

1. Wake up with an intention

Many times, when we wake up, we immediately check our emails, Facebook, Instagram, press the snooze button multiple times, and rush off to start the coffee maker before going to work. What about setting an intention to have a positive and productive day? This can be in the form of writing in a daily journal or even visualizing for 5 minutes on having a phenomenal day. When we do this, we immediately shift our minds to a place that makes us happy and excited to experience a great day. This is a quick tool and can take anywhere from 5-10 minutes.

2. Prepare your day in advance

When we are able to prepare our days ahead of time, we have a way of having a happy and joyful day. This can include scheduling out our productivity for the following day, doing tedious tasks when needed, and eliminating any procrastination. I have found when we bring over tasks that should have been completed the day before, we are only filling up our schedules with unnecessary things. This can also eliminate any stress that can also be avoided.

“Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” – Alexander Graham Bell

3. Spend time alone

There is nothing more liberating than being able to spend time alone in the morning before starting your day. Two of my favorite activities include meditation and reading for 30 minutes. These activities also tie into setting an intention for the day. They assist in setting a clear, calm, and amazing tone for the day. Also, when you are able to do things you absolutely love, this happiness stays with you throughout the day and also increases your energy for yourself and those around you.

4. Learn something new that excites you

Have you ever learned a new skill and felt so excited about it that you weren’t able to sleep? If you have, congratulations! This usually signifies that you have found your calling and are closer to fulfilling your purpose on earth. Think of a skill you have been wanting to learn that absolutely excites you. When you do this, you will find yourself waking up with more excitement because of this new skill set has set your soul on fire to learn. Be excited about this and include this new skillset as part of your morning routine.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi

5. Each day is a new opportunity

How many times have you heard someone say “I cannot do that, I am not a morning person.” Well, when we tell ourselves this, our subconscious mind takes this as being true and will make you believe this. However, if we change our mindsets and tell ourselves every day is another opportunity to make a difference, add more value to the lives around us, and achieve our dreams and goals, our day will be better off.

This is very exciting to think about. If you are someone who is still looking for exciting days ahead, take some time to reflect on what excites you. Maybe it is a new skill set or just a new routine to start off your days ahead. Every morning sets the tone for the day. Set a tone of joy and bliss and let that carry you out throughout the day!

One of the easiest ways to implement these steps is to pick out a few you feel really good about. These will be the easier ones to work with and then move on to the other steps that may take you out of your comfort zone. It may be difficult at first, but it always becomes easier and even more rewarding. Make each day count. You totally deserve it!

How do you live each day purposefully? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Continue Reading

Trending