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Why You Should Embrace Imperfection To 10X Your Results And Win At Life

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Not So Perfect Barbie - Embrace Imperfection

One of the greatest reasons why we have pain in our life and fail to achieve our goals is because we somehow are trapped in the idea that perfection is a desirable result. I have spent my entire life trying to be perfect at stuff and always ended up being frustrated and not getting the results I want.

I was taught the idea of perfection, and it’s pitfalls, very early on in life without even realising it. As I have said on Addicted2Success many times, I used to be a musician. From an early age I was a world-class drummer and then later gave it up to become an electronic music producer.

When I studied the greats of music, I discovered that what made their music amazing was its imperfection. If you have ever seen someone try and copy a song perfectly, then you will instantly have spotted a fake (think annoying cover songs).

This idea of imperfect music became most apparent when I was given the individual tracks to every part of Queen’s famous song “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

As I listened to the vocal tracks with no other instruments, I began to hear all sorts of recording rules broken, imperfect singing, unpleasant noises, etc. What I learnt from listening to these Queen tracks is that it’s the sum of the imperfect parts (how we perform in individual life activities) that have the power to create an amazing masterpiece (our life).

I learnt, even more, lessons from music. I learnt that what makes a great groove is when each beat it not exactly in time and when the groove makes you really feel the song. If I showed you a song that is exactly in time and is kept in time by a machine, you would discover it has no feeling what so ever.

The feeling is the imperfection and that’s what makes a popular song. To increase your results, you must embrace this type of imperfection.

 

***Imperfect Blogging***

Have you ever read a blog post that was perfectly written, with each line carefully put together and spell checked? Have you noticed how these blog posts don’t go very deep and sound like something you have heard before? Have you ever wondered why these posts never get read?

The answer is simple; people want imperfection because imperfection equals emotion. When something is not perfect, it’s because there is human emotion put into every ounce of the outcome.

That’s why emotional blog posts, written off the cuff, have ten times the results of all the other generic rubbish you read on the internet and stop reading after two lines. Seek to be imperfect and to be uniquely you, and you will 10X the results of everyone else around you.

Here are the nine ways I am imperfect and how imperfection has 10X’d my results:

 

1. I can’t waste time and I’m always in a hurry

People see me as flawed because I am always in a hurry and want to save time no matter what. I pre-plan every destination I go to and always look for the quickest route. I always group together tasks so that two outcomes are achieved from one block of time.

This makes me imperfect because people sometimes don’t think I want to be around them or think I don’t have time for them. While this way of being often see’s other criticise me, it has 10X’d my results because I believe that time is valuable, and you should never waste a second.

I have some huge goals I want to achieve and I can never do this if I don’t value my time. Having met a lot of entrepreneurs in recent years, I have noticed that every one of them has a high level of urgency about what they are doing. It’s this urgency that allows you to win at life or your business.

 

2. I can’t take many breaks

Society is obsessed with escaping reality and always taking a break. While breaks are sometimes needed, I generally don’t take any breaks. People perceive this to mean that I am failing at life, or I can’t afford to take a break, or that I’m not into travelling the world.

All of these assumptions are wrong. I am imperfect and can’t take many breaks because I am so fixed on my goal to inspire the world that taking breaks makes me unhappy. Taking breaks makes me feel like I am not making progress or that I am participating in something that I haven’t yet earned.

What may sound like imperfection is the reason why I believe I have 10X’d the results of everyone around me. I don’t apologise for thinking different and I am not afraid to work twelve hours in a row as long as it’s on something that is directly linked to my passion, purpose, and something that makes me happy.

Change your perception around taking breaks, enjoy a holiday once in a while, and you will 10X the competition while they are sitting on the beach every day and you’re winning at life because your imperfect and hungry to change the world.

 

3. I get frustrated

I am imperfect because I constantly get frustrated at things. It could easily be misunderstood that I am frustrated because I am not in control of my life, but the opposite is true. I get frustrated because I value my purpose and will stop at nothing to achieve it.

The reason I get frustrated is usually when I am being asked or forced to do something that I believe doesn’t align with who I am and what I am passionate about. Frustration has the power to 10X your results if you use it in a positive way and allow it to drive you forward, rather than sabotage the way you feel.

Like everybody else, I ‘m human and I can’t be positive, optimistic, and in control 100% of the time. The aim is to try and spend most of your time in these states of being. The times when I slip out of these states are what make me successful and I embrace this imperfection – so should you.

 

4. I am not bold enough

There are way too many times in my life where I am not bold enough. I don’t play full out or I don’t take a big enough risk. Perfect people should do this all the time, but I don’t, and you probably don’t either.

I don’t frown upon the fact I’m not bold enough because it’s something that has allowed me to grow as a person. By not being bold enough, I have to try harder, and that has allowed me to realise this imperfection, embrace it, and conquer the fear of things like flying and public speaking.

See, it’s this imperfection that is pushing me towards success and defines who I am. If I were constantly being perfectly bold, then I would have no room to grow, and would be perceived by everyone to be fake.

“Too much perfection can make you appear fake and push you in the direction of failure. You will never be perfect so if that’s what you are striving for then failure is guaranteed”

 

5. I can’t always forgive people

Another big part of my imperfection is that I can’t forgive certain people no matter what. Many of the greats say that this is the number one thing you should do if you want to live a life of happiness. I agree with them except not forgiving certain people has allowed me to 10X my results.

These people that I have been able to forgive are also the same toxic people that use up my time, make me feel bad, encourage me to do the wrong thing, allow me to abuse my health, and a whole list of other negative effects.

If I didn’t have this imperfection of not being able to forgive everyone, I would probably still be losing at life, and be surrounded by people that would continue to sabotage my success. Does this imperfection mean I can’t forgive anyone at all? No, of course, it doesn’t.

In your own life, it’s important to forgive people but don’t feel like you must forgive everyone. At the same time, try to be forgiving as much as you can, when it’s warranted. Realise that people are imperfect and they make mistakes.

If someone is making the same mistake all the time, then adjust your approach, but if it’s a one off and you know it wasn’t intentional, then allow yourself to forgive that person’s moment of imperfection.

 

6. I can’t spend time with uninspiring people

Constantly, people are annoyed with me because I am very picky about who I spend time with and I have no issues leaving an event if I am surrounded by people and ideas that will sabotage my game plan for life.

This imperfection drives people nuts because they feel that I should be perfect, and be able to spend time with everyone no matter who they are.

Even though I have done lots of self-development, I do not believe that we should strive to be perfect and think that we have to spend time with whoever crosses our path. By being selective and moving away from uninspiring people, it has allowed me to 10X my results by spending time with the top 1%.

By spending time with inspiring people, I have been able to reshape my beliefs and re-educate myself in what matters in life. Your goal shouldn’t be to keep everyone happy at your own demise; your goal should be to pursue your passion and not let people or obstacles get in your way.

 

7. I still judge people

The next way I am imperfect is that I sometimes still judge people. As much as I believe in diversity and everyone being unique, I still fall into the trap of judging people every now and then. I might judge them because of their car, or the way they dress, or what they are eating.

This imperfection can make you very successful if you understand one core concept; when you are judging others, it’s because you are seeing your own reflection in the person you are judging. The very thing you are judging them for is the very thing that has affected you in some way.

So you’re probably wondering how the heck will judging others allow me to 10X my results? The answer is that when you judge others, and you understand the core concept I just presented to you, you realise that judging people allows you to see the parts of your life that you need to work on.

Judging others allows you to be imperfect and observe yourself in other people to help drive you further. When you see something in someone else that you despise, it gives you the opportunity to ask yourself why you despise that thing and reflect back on events that have occurred in the past.

As you reflect back on these past events, you get the chance to alter the course of these same events in the future – for the better.

 

8. I don’t eat and drink what everyone else does

I am constantly judged and told I am not perfect because I don’t allow myself to eat and drink what everyone else tells me to. When I go to a party, I consume very different things and have no issue in being thought as different.

If I were perfect, then I would let my hair down once in a while and consume things that suck my energy away and make me sick. The reality is I am not perfect though and this imperfection has allowed me to stay on track, achieve my goals, and 10X my results

I am never going to be tempted away from my goal to inspire others and will stop at nothing to stand guard at the door of my mouth….haha.

 

9. I don’t allow people to distract me

Distractions have caused me to become imperfect because I avoid them like there’s no tomorrow, and this can sometimes make me anti-social. People can think that I don’t want to be around them, when in fact, I am being imperfect and working in isolation to avoid distractions.

Perfect people are always available, they always want to talk, and they never go more than a few minutes without responding to an electronic message from someone. I am imperfect in this unique way, and it has made me win at life because I am clearly focused on my passion.

This can see me lock myself in a quiet room, turn my mobile phone off, go days without responding to social media, not attend social functions, etc. By doing all of these things it has allowed me to 10X my results because I have a disproportionate amount of time focused in the one area of my passion.

This means I can outwork anyone that has the same goal as me because I simply put in more hours. The key to the hours I put in is that they are highly focused – like a heat seeking missile – and so my thought patterns when I am in the state of flow are not interrupted.

I don’t choose to allow distractions to play ping pong with my mind so I am not living in a hyper state of anxious reactivity. I spend most of my life in a calm state of mind that lets me be who I am, and not have to apologise all the time for it because it doesn’t meet other people’s expectations.

 

***Final Thought***

By being you, by being imperfect, and by not caring what others think of you, I can confidentially say that you can 10X your results. The common theme about imperfection is that you need to become consciously aware of what is happening each day and find a way to use your imperfection so it serves you.

Trying to be perfect is impossible and can use up all of your time. Like music, imperfection is a way of life and it’s what makes you different from everyone else. If you remove imperfection, then we all become clones of each other like the clone character in Star Wars.

The reason why you never want to be perfect is that it can create a lot of procrastination in your life. By always wanting to be perfect you will never get started at anything. I always thought this about blogging and thought to myself one day I will start writing articles.

Quickly, I realised that one day never came because I was obsessed with perfect grammar, perfect sentences, and perfectly crafted ideas. The reality is, by writing things that are not perfect, people have wanted to read my posts and I have grown at the same time.

It’s taken me personally a long time to acknowledge my imperfections (especially in public) and embrace them as the reason why I am winning at life, and achieving greater results. Thanks for reading and hopefully you can see your imperfection as something you should learn to love.

What do you think about imperfection? What things are you not perfect at? Let me know in the comments section below or on my website timdenning.net and my Facebook. 

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. Zoenchii (@zoenchii)

    Apr 30, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    This post resonated within me! I am going through a phase for the last 2-3 months, when I don’t want to speak to anyone at all, or there are days when I want to meet everyone I know! There are days when I want to sleep 24 hours, and there are those days when I am so happy doing my makeup, dressing nice, and going out all day. People don’t get me. People expect me to find time for them every minute they call to hang out. I have often postponed my own plans like: staying home doing natural masks for hair/face, or working out and taking a good bath. I blew these plans in a constant basis only because I wanted to satisfy the person on the other side of my phone asking me to go out. Well, I am a people pleaser, but the thing is: I am learning to say NO! Even though I have been so tired these last months [maybe weather is to be blamed, it really affects my mood], I am happy that at least, I am wasting time doing nothing, but at least, I am not wasting it for other people I just don’t feel like meeting.
    Thank you for this article. It really made me climb one more step in the process of learning the power or a simple NO!

    • Tim Denning

      May 1, 2016 at 4:35 am

      Zoenchii glad you learnt something from my article. It sounds like you are going through Winter in your life at the moment but it will pass and you be back to Summer again I’m sure of it. All the best!

  2. ujay

    Apr 29, 2016 at 6:21 pm

    Wow, you did a great work with putting all these together. I had to write them down so I can go back and read them whenever I feel like. One of my imperfection is falling in love with the wrong person. Another is trusting those that doesn’t worth my trust.

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 30, 2016 at 1:16 am

      Thanks Ujay I was in a state of flow when I wrote these down so they just poured out in a very raw way. Thanks for sharing your imperfections as well 🙂

  3. Toño

    Apr 29, 2016 at 9:01 am

    What a wonderful intro Tim, I will say it again, you have a real thing to start your articles. I would even say ‘perfect’ haha, but in a good way 🙂

    Perfection was my huge theme for years as I always wanted to be desired, loved and of course, the most prefect guy in the room. The reality, though, quite often a ‘little bit’ different haha. Right now my body is in the process of teaching me how to accept your flaws and emrace them. I have an eye illness (yep still the same) and it’s evident. It has been quite a struggle for me for a while, as I have to work with people every single day, visual contact, sales etc I have to present myself good and of course the ‘perfect’ person like me always wants to be, well, perfect. I was constantly worrying what others may think of me, asking questions, or just stare.. It was so painfull at times I could hardly handle it, but then I beagn to realize it is all about me and this illness actually a good solution to increase my confidence and dependence on other people’s opinion by being out of your comfort zone most of the time. And even more, chance to escape that perfection I never actually had. It’s still a challenge for me, but just yesterday I was laying on the floor, laughing on this whole situation and thinking how you can just be you and enjoy life. And it was priceless! And today I’ve read lots of imperfect things about you, which is amazing 🙂

    Another thing I would like to share. There is a girl I work with, and she’s always perfect and lookin’ good. She loves to take slefies, her instagram account full of herself, and she is the type of those beauty queens. I saw her yesterday after swimming pool, without any make up, dry lips and skin, like normal people will have, tired, and stuff. And I thought she was pretty in her imperfection, like a real human being, a unique one, with flaws yet beautiful. It was funny as we spend much time together and I rarely see her like this. Lately of course she got all her make up and yet again, escaped the reality..

    That fear society taught us to always be like everyone else, in perfect condition, makes us do things we may not really desire to do. How often we scare what others will think about us? Like most of the time, and only the bravest minor will never follow the ship pack.

    Back to your article, I can relate to this 100%: ‘I can’t spend time with uninspiring people’ I cut off so many people out of my life and always extremely picky how and where spend my time that many who surrounds me think I’m very anti-social weirdo and just a cave man. Well, I would rather spend time alone in the cave, than with a bunch of toxic people that can hardly understand me. I have few friends and loving family I enjoy spend time with, and always lookin’ for new person to share experience and ideas, but again, I don’t have to be with everyone just because it may seem ‘normal’. And yes, I still do judge people and experienced the exact thing you explained in that paragraph.

    Going back to my home some voice into my head told me that thing: People may be mean to you, because you may be mean to people, for no reason. And that was like a cold shower! I tend to judge people for things that may mirror my behavior, or very close to that. It was such a cool deiscovery!

    I enjoyed this article, I think that was one of your best, honest an raw and for that I am very grateful! Thank you so much my friend, have a good day, take care and stay healthy!

    Oh, and you always can take a break and do something productive and cool, thus two things per one block time 😉

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 29, 2016 at 10:12 am

      Toño I just realised something; you’re an amazing writer. Thanks for sharing with us all about your own imperfections and your story about the girl at the pool. Imperfection is beauty plain and simple.
      Glad you liked the article and yes it’s very raw. The more raw the lessons are that I share, the more you will learn and the more relatable the information will be. Hopefully by me not being afraid to share my imperfections it will encourage others (such as yourself) to do the same and have a crack, and to play all out.

      Have a great weekend chief!

      • Toño

        Apr 30, 2016 at 2:50 am

        Before this article I honestly thought my messages here were long, chaotic, out of theme, awkward, in other word – imperfect. But I see now, they are imperfectly unique, and I feel good about it 🙂

        Thank you so much for the compliment, that means a big deal for me, and I appreciate all your support! You were right, as the more raw experience you share the more people it will attract, as they can all reflect on those breathing and living words you put together. I see more comments and I am sure more will come, because it feels natural and that’s the beauty of our nature.

        Thanks again, Tim, have a great weekend as well and never give up your idea, I’ll support you on that journey 🙂

  4. Shawn Lim

    Apr 29, 2016 at 2:54 am

    This reminds me of the quote, “Ever master was once a disaster”.
    Everyone started off as a beginner in something before they become an expert in it.
    Imperfections will lead us to do better in life.
    When you said our imperfections will 10x our results, I totally agree. 🙂

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 29, 2016 at 4:09 am

      Such a good quote Shawn thanks for sharing. Glad you enjoyed the article and got to the crux of what I was trying to say 🙂

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Life

Extraordinary Money Hacks So You Can Save For Your Dream.

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money small

I’ve had several times in my life with almost no money. During these times, I learned a few money hacks. It’s cool how having no money can actually teach you so much.

It’s not about being a tight ass either. Money is about understanding what business does to take money out of your pocket and it’s also a journey in understanding temptation.

 

Why save money?

Saving money is how you fund your dream. No matter what you want to achieve, you need to have some money put aside to make it happen. Having a small amount of money saved can do the following:

1. Help you deal with emergencies
2. Give you surplus cash to put towards your dream
3. Make you less stressed
4. Allow you to take a break

Here are the money hacks I’ve learned from going through hard times:

 

Rethink subscriptions.

Recurring revenue is the best source of income for your business. On the flipside, subscriptions will make you broke. The whole subscription model is designed to take advantage of you being lazy. Most of the subscriptions you have, you don’t need.

I find that one time purchases for things I don’t use a lot is actually better. Make a note of all of your subscriptions and then cull as many as you can.

 

Books instead of Netflix and movies.

Netflix and movies can use up your capital and they generally give you nothing. Replace these two media forms for books. Books are cheaper in the long run and if you focus on reading biographies and books that provide real strategies, you’ll become smarter too.

 

Go to the supermarket instead of the shopping mall.

Walking into a giant shopping center with all of your favorite brands is a disaster. You’re guaranteed to buy stuff you don’t need and temptation is likely to take over. The only shopping you have to do every week is your grocery shopping.

Visit the supermarket that’s not in a shopping mall and then you’ll be focused on buying things to fill your stomach, instead of your wardrobe.

 

People won’t remember what you’re wearing.

There’s this myth that we have to wear something new all of the time. The harsh reality is that most people won’t remember what you’re wearing anyway because they’re so focused on their own appearance and problems.

None of us need as many clothes as we have. Culling the size of your wardrobe will save you lots of money.

 

Buying petrol.

There are cheap times to get petrol and expensive times to get petrol. In my area, I find that every four weeks, petrol is cheaper than the other weeks. So, being smart about when you fill up can save you lots of money. Obviously, aim for the times when petrol is low.

 

Going out to restaurants.

Those of us who have worked in restaurants know that most of the profit is made on drinks, not the food. Most of the drinks you buy when you’re out for dinner are not good for you. The only real liquid you need is water. So, when going to restaurants, skip the drinks and focus on the food.

 

Getting around.

Driving everywhere is expensive. Try sharing an Uber with friends or taking public transport.

Parking is expensive and most of the time the car takes longer.

Use the frequent car trips you make to have someone else do the driving and then download some podcasts so you can educate yourself.

 

Car servicing.

This whole industry is a bit of a scam. The idea is to make you think that everything needs to be consistently maintained and replaced otherwise you’ll end up lost in the desert with no way home, and you may even die of starvation.

The only two things you must do on a car every year is changing the oil and the oil filter. Watch some Youtube videos on when to change your tires and brakes because most mechanic shops will tell you that you need to change them when you don’t.

 

Credit cards.

They’re evil. You don’t need the reward points and the benefits of not having one are far greater. Get a debit card instead. Credit cards give you a false sense of your true financial position. You will mess up. That’s how the credit card game is designed.

 

Book holidays in advance.

We all need to take a break at least a few times a year. The cheapest way to do this is to book in advance. Plan when your holidays are going to be and then book them, so you get more choice, and more chances to spot a deal.

I’ve recently used Airbnb a lot more and that’s halved my accommodation costs. The only challenge with the platform is that the good properties sell out early so you must book in advance.

Also, consider whether you are going to stay local or go overseas. In my country, it’s cheaper to go overseas than it is to travel within Australia.

 


Don’t join mailing lists for deals.

An IT guy told me the other day to sign up for all of the retailers mailing lists because then I will see more deals. This is the worst advice ever! These mailing lists will make you develop a habit of making impulse purchases and looking for things you don’t need.

“You don’t need access to more deals; what you need is to spend less and avoid temptation”

 

Let loose one day a month.

If you’re a scrooge every day of the week, you’ll get tired of it and eventually quit. The best way to be good with money is to have one day a month where you can let loose a bit and indulge on one or two things. Just don’t undo all of your hard work by going out of control.

 

Donate or volunteer.

Puts your BS money problems into perspective. The best way I’ve found to save money towards my dream is to meet people who have nothing.

“Once you put your finances into perspective by being around the homeless and people that are going through terrible tragedies, you’ll know why you are saving in the first place”

More importantly, being exposed to people in rough places will make you want to give some money away. This charitable act will make you a better person which is far more important than how much money you have.

 


***Final Thought***

So that’s what I did folks when I had no money. That’s how I saved money towards my dream which I’m now living.

Be smarter with your money.
Save for your dream.
Be a good human and give money or time to people who need your help.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

4 Scientifically Proven Habits That Will Give You the Edge You Need

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habits

For me, outstanding success and prosperity that remains stable in a fast-evolving world is the only kind of success I care about. Not enough success gurus and motivational coaches are good at sharing principles and practices that can actually help anyone anywhere achieve long-term success.

Due to the fact that most people are only interested in “quick fixes,” the marketplace, especially in personal and professional growth, has focused on selling the idea of magic bullets and instant productivity spells aimed at luring you into whatever product they want you to buy.

However, there are those who seem to be focused on the long game, the grand vision. I spent a significant amount of time and money several years ago learning from one of the world’s leading high-performance coach, Brendon Burchard.

At a time when the highway to online success seemed grim and too advanced for me to tackle on my own, Brendon Burchard’s weekly mentoring, encouragement and training on how to speak my voice regardless of my past played a major role in the birth of my business. 

In fact, to a great extent, his ideas still continue to positively impact my life which is why the scientifically based research he revealed on habits helping shape world-class individuals resonates with me tremendously. 

If you haven’t taken the time to figure out the kind of habits you need in order to achieve significant success in any area of life – now is the best time to do so. 

As this year ripens into full maturity you need to make sure you end it bigger and better than it started. More importantly, you need to make sure the coming year is already primed for even greater growth and success.

How do you do this without driving yourself insane? How do you become extraordinary at whatever it is you desire to accomplish? What are the specific habits you can deploy today to become a high performer?

After three years of extensive data and research from dozens of countries, here are a few of the success producing habits now being backed by science:

1. Seek more clarity

This is a habit few ever consciously develop. No wonder overwhelm and confusion are considered normal. Start asking yourself high-quality questions on a daily basis enabling you to discern truth in your life. Approach your daily activities with greater intention and razor-sharp focus.

There are few things more powerful than a life lived with passionate clarity.” – Erwin McManus

2. Learn to generate energy

If you want to enjoy sustainable success and ever increasing prosperity, you can’t afford to be bogged down by fatigue, loss of enthusiasm and lethargy. When was the last time you went seven straight days feeling energized, enthusiastic and ready to crush it in your personal and professional life?

Mental, emotional, and physical energy is something you must deliberately and consciously learn to create and imbue into the world if you don’t want to burn out. This is how you’ll learn to cultivate and generate more positive emotions and interactions with other people as well as your daily activities.

3. Raise your standards and expectations

Setting the right expectations for your life and business is a must. Most people have big dreams but very low standards and even lower expectations for themselves. There’s a mindset shift that’s required here because your results will never outperform the standards you’ve set for yourself.

To be a high performing individual in your chosen field, you will have to make excellence your new norm. Brendon Burchard frames it differently, he teaches it as increasing your performance necessity levels. Why is this important?

Unless your brain and entire being perceive it as your normal standard, unleashing the leader within you and becoming your best self will feel more like forced labor which will not be sustainable.

Raise your standards to exceed your expectations.” – Cecily Morgan

4. Increase your productivity

Productivity is a hot topic with almost every motivational speaker. But do you really know what you need to do to increase your productivity? Or are you just running through the motions of listening to outside opinions trying to imitate what works for others, in the hopes that it’ll work for you too?

Every ambitious success seeker understands the importance of being productive. Few are actually able to do it effectively, consistently and toward meaningful work. As you learn to integrate the first three habits into your life, it will feel more natural and effortless to increase output and do work that matters.

If you want to crush it day in day out, week after week in your primary field of interest then it is time to learn effective strategies and tactics that align with your goals, your values and simultaneously make you more productive. Thanks to technology, this is not only possible, it’s doable.

While this isn’t the comprehensive list of habits that can make you “get the edge” in life and finally out-perform others in your space, you now have a solid starting ground for simple things you can start doing today to become a high performer.

Now I would love to hear from you, did any of these habits resonate with you? Do you have any suggestion of your own that has proven effective? Comment below!

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Life

3 Steps to Increasing Your Confidence for Good

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As an ambitious person on the road to success, you know first hand how challenging it is to achieve your lofty goals. Let’s be honest, the road to success is littered with potholes and unexpected curves.

You need a consistent feeling of confidence if you want to make it to the finish line and rise victoriously. That’s why in this article, you’re going to learn the most simple and effective 3-step sequence to help you increase your confidence for good.

1. Learn One Thing

As an informed reader here, we’re skipping past the part where we harp on the importance of taking action for building confidence. You already took action by reading this article with the desire to get better. Perhaps, you made the sales call, pressed publish on your new post, did the interview, or pitched your idea.

But now it’s time to immediately learn one thing from the action you just took. The second after you take action, ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I can learn from this, to ensure I get a better result next time?”

If you’ve read Gary Keller’s powerful book, The One Thing, you know success isn’t about trying to do a million things. It’s about doing one thing — exceptionally. Similarly, instead of trying to derive 86 lessons from that sales call you just finished, start learning simply the number one best thing you can.

Here in step one, you do so by asking yourself the aforementioned question. It works like magic. When you ask yourself a question, your brain outputs an answer. This only happens if you start this sequence immediately after you take action — regardless of the result.

Extraordinary results happen only when you give the best you have to become the best you can be at your most important work.” – Gary Keller

2. Validate Yourself

In step two, take the time to validate yourself with positive self talk. Tell yourself, “Nice job. That took courage. Let’s keep going, baby. I’m going to do this. I’ve got this.” The key here is to speak to yourself positively and authentically. Speak to yourself the way a great mentor, coach, or friend would. Remember too, in this step, you are not pumping yourself up with empty affirmations or false hope.

You are validating yourself because you took action and you learned from that action. This deserves credit. By practicing the act of self validation here in step two, you train yourself to remain confident regardless of whether or not you achieved or came up short.

Validate yourself whether you land the client or fail to do so. Most don’t do this, it’s why they lack confidence. But you? You act, learn, then validate yourself, regardless of the external result. This trains you to feel good about yourself no matter what people say about you.

While most people crumble when they don’t get the results they desired, you feel confident even when you lose this battle. You know that the campaign is long, and, if you keep learning, you’ll get accomplish the goals you desire in the end.

3. Repeat the Action

Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it.” Carnegie said it best and it’s why step three is a simple call to action — to repeat the action you just took. By repeating the action as soon as possible, you don’t give yourself time to ruminate or overthink.

In step one, you learned one important, personalized nugget of wisdom that’ll help you perform better from now on. Then in step two, you validated yourself with positive self talk — reminding yourself that by continuing to take persistent action, success is inevitable.

Now? There’s nothing left to say. Without delay, it’s time to get back on the horse and take another crack at it! Your confidence continues to grow as you take more actions, learn more from those actions, and remind yourself that you’re a champ for taking all these actions!

“Don’t let small thinking cut your life down to size. Think big, aim high, act bold. And see just how big you can blow up your life.” – Gary Keller

Why This 3-Step Sequence Increases Your Confidence for Good

By repeating this sequence, you gain important knowledge, continuously remind yourself of your positive traits, and most importantly — you desensitize yourself to any fears you once had.

You’re going to fall in love with this process of taking action. Whether that action for you is making sales calls, pitching your startup to investors, interviewing for competitive positions, or publishing new content online, the more you act using these 3-steps, the more confident you’ll become.

A key side benefit of using this sequence is you quickly enter a massive, perpetual state of action. This all but guarantees you increased real world results. These improved results become the cherry on top to your core confidence.

When you lack confidence, how do you find the confidence you need again? Let us know by commenting below!

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Life

3 Ingredients to Create the Life of Your Dreams

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how to create the life of your dreams

Let’s bake a cake! This recipe calls for three simple ingredients: one cup of Courage, two tablespoons of Initiative, and three teaspoons of Will. You can put the money, education, and physical attractiveness back in the refrigerator. They can help improve the taste or quality, but they are not required to bake this cake. The cake is a metaphor for the life of your dreams. If you want to create massive achievement in your life, you will need to obtain courage, initiative, and will.

The main ingredients of courage, initiative, and will are fundamental to long term-achievement. You need the courage to start. The initiative is necessary to think outside the box. Will is required to continue when it gets tough.

Whether we are talking about achieving long-term happiness via a personal relationship or individual experiences, the ingredients mentioned above can significantly increase your chances of obtaining the life of your dreams. You aren’t born with courage, initiative, or will. In fact, you are born with fear, reluctance, and other mechanisms designed to keep you safe. However, with an intentional mindset guided by positive optimism, these characteristics can be grown and cultivated in a garden of possibilities for your life!  

How can you acquire courage, initiative, and will? Check out my 3 tips below:

1. Travel or better yet move out of the country

Yes, I will give you a moment to reread the line above. My first recommendation is for you to travel or ideally move out of the country! Travel and undeniably relocating outside of the country you were born in, requires courage. You must be brave to face the unknown, and there is no better way to do this other than to get out of your comfortable home environment and see the world. The experiences with traveling or moving will automatically build the courage within you to reach toward the achievements that you desire in life.  

“Dare to live the life you’ve always wanted.”

2. Learn a new language

Ideally, with the recommendation from number one, you will choose a location where a language other than your native tongue is spoken. With language acquisition, the learner must develop a spirit of initiative to do something that is not required. You can live your entire life and only communicate in one language, or you can expand your horizon and do something different. To become fluent in a new language will not be easy; the life of your dreams is worth the fight. The process of learning a language will attract the necessary skill set that accompanies initiative and ties in within my final recommendation.

3. Fail as often as possible

In traveling and undeniably with learning a new language, you will make mistakes. If you are not failing in the process of adjusting to a different culture, which will occur in traveling and language acquisition, you are doing something wrong! You must fail to adapt and ideally this will happen as frequent as possible. This does not mean that you look to fail. It does mean that you understand failure as an opportunity to learn. Failure builds your ability to develop the power of will. Possessing will can enable you to learn from your mistakes, improve, and keep pushing toward the achievements that can create the life of your dreams.  

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” – Gerard Way

If you put courage, initiative, and will into the oven responsible for making your dreams become a reality, you will be successful. It will not be easy. Occasionally you will become frustrated and want to open the door and see what’s taking so long for the cake or the life you desire. However, just stay the course and allow courage, initiative, and will to blend and bring into fruition the life of your dreams.

What other ingredients would you add?  Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

Is Fear of Failure Keeping You Stuck in a Lifeless Job? Here Are 5 Things to Do

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Are you stuck in a job that doesn’t fulfill you and you can’t seem to find a way out? Chances are that your fear of failure is holding you back. You constantly dream of change, but the dream is quickly replaced by worse case scenarios or self-doubt: What if you don’t find a better job? What if you don’t stand out in a competitive market? What will others think if it doesn’t work out?

At the end of this line of reasoning is the conviction that you’re not the only one who’s not satisfied, and that’s just how life goes. After all, bills won’t pay themselves, right? So you keep toiling away, increasing your level of self-dissatisfaction while quietly hoping that things will somehow improve on their own.

Fear becomes the self-imposed obstacle that prevents you from taking the steps that are necessary for the change(s) you long for. I can recall numerous times in my life where I gave in to my fears and compromised with my goals and desires to play it safe. I was stuck and my dream life and career felt so out of reach. The voice of my inner critic showed up every time I attempted change, to convince me I wasn’t ready and I didn’t have enough to shift.

So how do we overcome the fear of failure, so we can propel change? By removing the notion that change is a threat. Our ego thrives on fear. Its sole purpose is to keep us safe and protect us from taking risks. When we perceive a threat we activate the part of our brain called “amygdala” and we go into fight, flight or freeze mode.

Our simple survival mechanism limits our potential by overemphasizing the fear of failure. Fight or Flight takes hold, but growth does not. We survive, but we don’t thrive, and therein lies the problem. We crave meaningful work that doesn’t drain us, but fulfills us and makes us happy. So how do we take the leap? (more…)

Vanya Lazarova is a certified professional coach, specializing in helping people create their life's work by starting with purpose and authenticity. She loves writing, reading, psychology, philosophy, arts and all forms of self- expression. She co-founded a personal development podcast called "The Coaching Journal", where she offers thought provoking concepts to empower people intentionally design the life they want to have. You can find more about Vanya and the work she does on her website www.LiveAuthentic.net and at her podcast The Coaching Journal.

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9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. Zoenchii (@zoenchii)

    Apr 30, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    This post resonated within me! I am going through a phase for the last 2-3 months, when I don’t want to speak to anyone at all, or there are days when I want to meet everyone I know! There are days when I want to sleep 24 hours, and there are those days when I am so happy doing my makeup, dressing nice, and going out all day. People don’t get me. People expect me to find time for them every minute they call to hang out. I have often postponed my own plans like: staying home doing natural masks for hair/face, or working out and taking a good bath. I blew these plans in a constant basis only because I wanted to satisfy the person on the other side of my phone asking me to go out. Well, I am a people pleaser, but the thing is: I am learning to say NO! Even though I have been so tired these last months [maybe weather is to be blamed, it really affects my mood], I am happy that at least, I am wasting time doing nothing, but at least, I am not wasting it for other people I just don’t feel like meeting.
    Thank you for this article. It really made me climb one more step in the process of learning the power or a simple NO!

    • Tim Denning

      May 1, 2016 at 4:35 am

      Zoenchii glad you learnt something from my article. It sounds like you are going through Winter in your life at the moment but it will pass and you be back to Summer again I’m sure of it. All the best!

  2. ujay

    Apr 29, 2016 at 6:21 pm

    Wow, you did a great work with putting all these together. I had to write them down so I can go back and read them whenever I feel like. One of my imperfection is falling in love with the wrong person. Another is trusting those that doesn’t worth my trust.

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 30, 2016 at 1:16 am

      Thanks Ujay I was in a state of flow when I wrote these down so they just poured out in a very raw way. Thanks for sharing your imperfections as well 🙂

  3. Toño

    Apr 29, 2016 at 9:01 am

    What a wonderful intro Tim, I will say it again, you have a real thing to start your articles. I would even say ‘perfect’ haha, but in a good way 🙂

    Perfection was my huge theme for years as I always wanted to be desired, loved and of course, the most prefect guy in the room. The reality, though, quite often a ‘little bit’ different haha. Right now my body is in the process of teaching me how to accept your flaws and emrace them. I have an eye illness (yep still the same) and it’s evident. It has been quite a struggle for me for a while, as I have to work with people every single day, visual contact, sales etc I have to present myself good and of course the ‘perfect’ person like me always wants to be, well, perfect. I was constantly worrying what others may think of me, asking questions, or just stare.. It was so painfull at times I could hardly handle it, but then I beagn to realize it is all about me and this illness actually a good solution to increase my confidence and dependence on other people’s opinion by being out of your comfort zone most of the time. And even more, chance to escape that perfection I never actually had. It’s still a challenge for me, but just yesterday I was laying on the floor, laughing on this whole situation and thinking how you can just be you and enjoy life. And it was priceless! And today I’ve read lots of imperfect things about you, which is amazing 🙂

    Another thing I would like to share. There is a girl I work with, and she’s always perfect and lookin’ good. She loves to take slefies, her instagram account full of herself, and she is the type of those beauty queens. I saw her yesterday after swimming pool, without any make up, dry lips and skin, like normal people will have, tired, and stuff. And I thought she was pretty in her imperfection, like a real human being, a unique one, with flaws yet beautiful. It was funny as we spend much time together and I rarely see her like this. Lately of course she got all her make up and yet again, escaped the reality..

    That fear society taught us to always be like everyone else, in perfect condition, makes us do things we may not really desire to do. How often we scare what others will think about us? Like most of the time, and only the bravest minor will never follow the ship pack.

    Back to your article, I can relate to this 100%: ‘I can’t spend time with uninspiring people’ I cut off so many people out of my life and always extremely picky how and where spend my time that many who surrounds me think I’m very anti-social weirdo and just a cave man. Well, I would rather spend time alone in the cave, than with a bunch of toxic people that can hardly understand me. I have few friends and loving family I enjoy spend time with, and always lookin’ for new person to share experience and ideas, but again, I don’t have to be with everyone just because it may seem ‘normal’. And yes, I still do judge people and experienced the exact thing you explained in that paragraph.

    Going back to my home some voice into my head told me that thing: People may be mean to you, because you may be mean to people, for no reason. And that was like a cold shower! I tend to judge people for things that may mirror my behavior, or very close to that. It was such a cool deiscovery!

    I enjoyed this article, I think that was one of your best, honest an raw and for that I am very grateful! Thank you so much my friend, have a good day, take care and stay healthy!

    Oh, and you always can take a break and do something productive and cool, thus two things per one block time 😉

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 29, 2016 at 10:12 am

      Toño I just realised something; you’re an amazing writer. Thanks for sharing with us all about your own imperfections and your story about the girl at the pool. Imperfection is beauty plain and simple.
      Glad you liked the article and yes it’s very raw. The more raw the lessons are that I share, the more you will learn and the more relatable the information will be. Hopefully by me not being afraid to share my imperfections it will encourage others (such as yourself) to do the same and have a crack, and to play all out.

      Have a great weekend chief!

      • Toño

        Apr 30, 2016 at 2:50 am

        Before this article I honestly thought my messages here were long, chaotic, out of theme, awkward, in other word – imperfect. But I see now, they are imperfectly unique, and I feel good about it 🙂

        Thank you so much for the compliment, that means a big deal for me, and I appreciate all your support! You were right, as the more raw experience you share the more people it will attract, as they can all reflect on those breathing and living words you put together. I see more comments and I am sure more will come, because it feels natural and that’s the beauty of our nature.

        Thanks again, Tim, have a great weekend as well and never give up your idea, I’ll support you on that journey 🙂

  4. Shawn Lim

    Apr 29, 2016 at 2:54 am

    This reminds me of the quote, “Ever master was once a disaster”.
    Everyone started off as a beginner in something before they become an expert in it.
    Imperfections will lead us to do better in life.
    When you said our imperfections will 10x our results, I totally agree. 🙂

    • Tim Denning

      Apr 29, 2016 at 4:09 am

      Such a good quote Shawn thanks for sharing. Glad you enjoyed the article and got to the crux of what I was trying to say 🙂

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Life

Extraordinary Money Hacks So You Can Save For Your Dream.

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I’ve had several times in my life with almost no money. During these times, I learned a few money hacks. It’s cool how having no money can actually teach you so much.

It’s not about being a tight ass either. Money is about understanding what business does to take money out of your pocket and it’s also a journey in understanding temptation.

 

Why save money?

Saving money is how you fund your dream. No matter what you want to achieve, you need to have some money put aside to make it happen. Having a small amount of money saved can do the following:

1. Help you deal with emergencies
2. Give you surplus cash to put towards your dream
3. Make you less stressed
4. Allow you to take a break

Here are the money hacks I’ve learned from going through hard times:

 

Rethink subscriptions.

Recurring revenue is the best source of income for your business. On the flipside, subscriptions will make you broke. The whole subscription model is designed to take advantage of you being lazy. Most of the subscriptions you have, you don’t need.

I find that one time purchases for things I don’t use a lot is actually better. Make a note of all of your subscriptions and then cull as many as you can.

 

Books instead of Netflix and movies.

Netflix and movies can use up your capital and they generally give you nothing. Replace these two media forms for books. Books are cheaper in the long run and if you focus on reading biographies and books that provide real strategies, you’ll become smarter too.

 

Go to the supermarket instead of the shopping mall.

Walking into a giant shopping center with all of your favorite brands is a disaster. You’re guaranteed to buy stuff you don’t need and temptation is likely to take over. The only shopping you have to do every week is your grocery shopping.

Visit the supermarket that’s not in a shopping mall and then you’ll be focused on buying things to fill your stomach, instead of your wardrobe.

 

People won’t remember what you’re wearing.

There’s this myth that we have to wear something new all of the time. The harsh reality is that most people won’t remember what you’re wearing anyway because they’re so focused on their own appearance and problems.

None of us need as many clothes as we have. Culling the size of your wardrobe will save you lots of money.

 

Buying petrol.

There are cheap times to get petrol and expensive times to get petrol. In my area, I find that every four weeks, petrol is cheaper than the other weeks. So, being smart about when you fill up can save you lots of money. Obviously, aim for the times when petrol is low.

 

Going out to restaurants.

Those of us who have worked in restaurants know that most of the profit is made on drinks, not the food. Most of the drinks you buy when you’re out for dinner are not good for you. The only real liquid you need is water. So, when going to restaurants, skip the drinks and focus on the food.

 

Getting around.

Driving everywhere is expensive. Try sharing an Uber with friends or taking public transport.

Parking is expensive and most of the time the car takes longer.

Use the frequent car trips you make to have someone else do the driving and then download some podcasts so you can educate yourself.

 

Car servicing.

This whole industry is a bit of a scam. The idea is to make you think that everything needs to be consistently maintained and replaced otherwise you’ll end up lost in the desert with no way home, and you may even die of starvation.

The only two things you must do on a car every year is changing the oil and the oil filter. Watch some Youtube videos on when to change your tires and brakes because most mechanic shops will tell you that you need to change them when you don’t.

 

Credit cards.

They’re evil. You don’t need the reward points and the benefits of not having one are far greater. Get a debit card instead. Credit cards give you a false sense of your true financial position. You will mess up. That’s how the credit card game is designed.

 

Book holidays in advance.

We all need to take a break at least a few times a year. The cheapest way to do this is to book in advance. Plan when your holidays are going to be and then book them, so you get more choice, and more chances to spot a deal.

I’ve recently used Airbnb a lot more and that’s halved my accommodation costs. The only challenge with the platform is that the good properties sell out early so you must book in advance.

Also, consider whether you are going to stay local or go overseas. In my country, it’s cheaper to go overseas than it is to travel within Australia.

 


Don’t join mailing lists for deals.

An IT guy told me the other day to sign up for all of the retailers mailing lists because then I will see more deals. This is the worst advice ever! These mailing lists will make you develop a habit of making impulse purchases and looking for things you don’t need.

“You don’t need access to more deals; what you need is to spend less and avoid temptation”

 

Let loose one day a month.

If you’re a scrooge every day of the week, you’ll get tired of it and eventually quit. The best way to be good with money is to have one day a month where you can let loose a bit and indulge on one or two things. Just don’t undo all of your hard work by going out of control.

 

Donate or volunteer.

Puts your BS money problems into perspective. The best way I’ve found to save money towards my dream is to meet people who have nothing.

“Once you put your finances into perspective by being around the homeless and people that are going through terrible tragedies, you’ll know why you are saving in the first place”

More importantly, being exposed to people in rough places will make you want to give some money away. This charitable act will make you a better person which is far more important than how much money you have.

 


***Final Thought***

So that’s what I did folks when I had no money. That’s how I saved money towards my dream which I’m now living.

Be smarter with your money.
Save for your dream.
Be a good human and give money or time to people who need your help.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

4 Scientifically Proven Habits That Will Give You the Edge You Need

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For me, outstanding success and prosperity that remains stable in a fast-evolving world is the only kind of success I care about. Not enough success gurus and motivational coaches are good at sharing principles and practices that can actually help anyone anywhere achieve long-term success.

Due to the fact that most people are only interested in “quick fixes,” the marketplace, especially in personal and professional growth, has focused on selling the idea of magic bullets and instant productivity spells aimed at luring you into whatever product they want you to buy.

However, there are those who seem to be focused on the long game, the grand vision. I spent a significant amount of time and money several years ago learning from one of the world’s leading high-performance coach, Brendon Burchard.

At a time when the highway to online success seemed grim and too advanced for me to tackle on my own, Brendon Burchard’s weekly mentoring, encouragement and training on how to speak my voice regardless of my past played a major role in the birth of my business. 

In fact, to a great extent, his ideas still continue to positively impact my life which is why the scientifically based research he revealed on habits helping shape world-class individuals resonates with me tremendously. 

If you haven’t taken the time to figure out the kind of habits you need in order to achieve significant success in any area of life – now is the best time to do so. 

As this year ripens into full maturity you need to make sure you end it bigger and better than it started. More importantly, you need to make sure the coming year is already primed for even greater growth and success.

How do you do this without driving yourself insane? How do you become extraordinary at whatever it is you desire to accomplish? What are the specific habits you can deploy today to become a high performer?

After three years of extensive data and research from dozens of countries, here are a few of the success producing habits now being backed by science:

1. Seek more clarity

This is a habit few ever consciously develop. No wonder overwhelm and confusion are considered normal. Start asking yourself high-quality questions on a daily basis enabling you to discern truth in your life. Approach your daily activities with greater intention and razor-sharp focus.

There are few things more powerful than a life lived with passionate clarity.” – Erwin McManus

2. Learn to generate energy

If you want to enjoy sustainable success and ever increasing prosperity, you can’t afford to be bogged down by fatigue, loss of enthusiasm and lethargy. When was the last time you went seven straight days feeling energized, enthusiastic and ready to crush it in your personal and professional life?

Mental, emotional, and physical energy is something you must deliberately and consciously learn to create and imbue into the world if you don’t want to burn out. This is how you’ll learn to cultivate and generate more positive emotions and interactions with other people as well as your daily activities.

3. Raise your standards and expectations

Setting the right expectations for your life and business is a must. Most people have big dreams but very low standards and even lower expectations for themselves. There’s a mindset shift that’s required here because your results will never outperform the standards you’ve set for yourself.

To be a high performing individual in your chosen field, you will have to make excellence your new norm. Brendon Burchard frames it differently, he teaches it as increasing your performance necessity levels. Why is this important?

Unless your brain and entire being perceive it as your normal standard, unleashing the leader within you and becoming your best self will feel more like forced labor which will not be sustainable.

Raise your standards to exceed your expectations.” – Cecily Morgan

4. Increase your productivity

Productivity is a hot topic with almost every motivational speaker. But do you really know what you need to do to increase your productivity? Or are you just running through the motions of listening to outside opinions trying to imitate what works for others, in the hopes that it’ll work for you too?

Every ambitious success seeker understands the importance of being productive. Few are actually able to do it effectively, consistently and toward meaningful work. As you learn to integrate the first three habits into your life, it will feel more natural and effortless to increase output and do work that matters.

If you want to crush it day in day out, week after week in your primary field of interest then it is time to learn effective strategies and tactics that align with your goals, your values and simultaneously make you more productive. Thanks to technology, this is not only possible, it’s doable.

While this isn’t the comprehensive list of habits that can make you “get the edge” in life and finally out-perform others in your space, you now have a solid starting ground for simple things you can start doing today to become a high performer.

Now I would love to hear from you, did any of these habits resonate with you? Do you have any suggestion of your own that has proven effective? Comment below!

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Life

3 Steps to Increasing Your Confidence for Good

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As an ambitious person on the road to success, you know first hand how challenging it is to achieve your lofty goals. Let’s be honest, the road to success is littered with potholes and unexpected curves.

You need a consistent feeling of confidence if you want to make it to the finish line and rise victoriously. That’s why in this article, you’re going to learn the most simple and effective 3-step sequence to help you increase your confidence for good.

1. Learn One Thing

As an informed reader here, we’re skipping past the part where we harp on the importance of taking action for building confidence. You already took action by reading this article with the desire to get better. Perhaps, you made the sales call, pressed publish on your new post, did the interview, or pitched your idea.

But now it’s time to immediately learn one thing from the action you just took. The second after you take action, ask yourself, “What’s the one thing I can learn from this, to ensure I get a better result next time?”

If you’ve read Gary Keller’s powerful book, The One Thing, you know success isn’t about trying to do a million things. It’s about doing one thing — exceptionally. Similarly, instead of trying to derive 86 lessons from that sales call you just finished, start learning simply the number one best thing you can.

Here in step one, you do so by asking yourself the aforementioned question. It works like magic. When you ask yourself a question, your brain outputs an answer. This only happens if you start this sequence immediately after you take action — regardless of the result.

Extraordinary results happen only when you give the best you have to become the best you can be at your most important work.” – Gary Keller

2. Validate Yourself

In step two, take the time to validate yourself with positive self talk. Tell yourself, “Nice job. That took courage. Let’s keep going, baby. I’m going to do this. I’ve got this.” The key here is to speak to yourself positively and authentically. Speak to yourself the way a great mentor, coach, or friend would. Remember too, in this step, you are not pumping yourself up with empty affirmations or false hope.

You are validating yourself because you took action and you learned from that action. This deserves credit. By practicing the act of self validation here in step two, you train yourself to remain confident regardless of whether or not you achieved or came up short.

Validate yourself whether you land the client or fail to do so. Most don’t do this, it’s why they lack confidence. But you? You act, learn, then validate yourself, regardless of the external result. This trains you to feel good about yourself no matter what people say about you.

While most people crumble when they don’t get the results they desired, you feel confident even when you lose this battle. You know that the campaign is long, and, if you keep learning, you’ll get accomplish the goals you desire in the end.

3. Repeat the Action

Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it.” Carnegie said it best and it’s why step three is a simple call to action — to repeat the action you just took. By repeating the action as soon as possible, you don’t give yourself time to ruminate or overthink.

In step one, you learned one important, personalized nugget of wisdom that’ll help you perform better from now on. Then in step two, you validated yourself with positive self talk — reminding yourself that by continuing to take persistent action, success is inevitable.

Now? There’s nothing left to say. Without delay, it’s time to get back on the horse and take another crack at it! Your confidence continues to grow as you take more actions, learn more from those actions, and remind yourself that you’re a champ for taking all these actions!

“Don’t let small thinking cut your life down to size. Think big, aim high, act bold. And see just how big you can blow up your life.” – Gary Keller

Why This 3-Step Sequence Increases Your Confidence for Good

By repeating this sequence, you gain important knowledge, continuously remind yourself of your positive traits, and most importantly — you desensitize yourself to any fears you once had.

You’re going to fall in love with this process of taking action. Whether that action for you is making sales calls, pitching your startup to investors, interviewing for competitive positions, or publishing new content online, the more you act using these 3-steps, the more confident you’ll become.

A key side benefit of using this sequence is you quickly enter a massive, perpetual state of action. This all but guarantees you increased real world results. These improved results become the cherry on top to your core confidence.

When you lack confidence, how do you find the confidence you need again? Let us know by commenting below!

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Life

3 Ingredients to Create the Life of Your Dreams

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how to create the life of your dreams

Let’s bake a cake! This recipe calls for three simple ingredients: one cup of Courage, two tablespoons of Initiative, and three teaspoons of Will. You can put the money, education, and physical attractiveness back in the refrigerator. They can help improve the taste or quality, but they are not required to bake this cake. The cake is a metaphor for the life of your dreams. If you want to create massive achievement in your life, you will need to obtain courage, initiative, and will.

The main ingredients of courage, initiative, and will are fundamental to long term-achievement. You need the courage to start. The initiative is necessary to think outside the box. Will is required to continue when it gets tough.

Whether we are talking about achieving long-term happiness via a personal relationship or individual experiences, the ingredients mentioned above can significantly increase your chances of obtaining the life of your dreams. You aren’t born with courage, initiative, or will. In fact, you are born with fear, reluctance, and other mechanisms designed to keep you safe. However, with an intentional mindset guided by positive optimism, these characteristics can be grown and cultivated in a garden of possibilities for your life!  

How can you acquire courage, initiative, and will? Check out my 3 tips below:

1. Travel or better yet move out of the country

Yes, I will give you a moment to reread the line above. My first recommendation is for you to travel or ideally move out of the country! Travel and undeniably relocating outside of the country you were born in, requires courage. You must be brave to face the unknown, and there is no better way to do this other than to get out of your comfortable home environment and see the world. The experiences with traveling or moving will automatically build the courage within you to reach toward the achievements that you desire in life.  

“Dare to live the life you’ve always wanted.”

2. Learn a new language

Ideally, with the recommendation from number one, you will choose a location where a language other than your native tongue is spoken. With language acquisition, the learner must develop a spirit of initiative to do something that is not required. You can live your entire life and only communicate in one language, or you can expand your horizon and do something different. To become fluent in a new language will not be easy; the life of your dreams is worth the fight. The process of learning a language will attract the necessary skill set that accompanies initiative and ties in within my final recommendation.

3. Fail as often as possible

In traveling and undeniably with learning a new language, you will make mistakes. If you are not failing in the process of adjusting to a different culture, which will occur in traveling and language acquisition, you are doing something wrong! You must fail to adapt and ideally this will happen as frequent as possible. This does not mean that you look to fail. It does mean that you understand failure as an opportunity to learn. Failure builds your ability to develop the power of will. Possessing will can enable you to learn from your mistakes, improve, and keep pushing toward the achievements that can create the life of your dreams.  

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” – Gerard Way

If you put courage, initiative, and will into the oven responsible for making your dreams become a reality, you will be successful. It will not be easy. Occasionally you will become frustrated and want to open the door and see what’s taking so long for the cake or the life you desire. However, just stay the course and allow courage, initiative, and will to blend and bring into fruition the life of your dreams.

What other ingredients would you add?  Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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