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Why It’s Important to Broaden Your View Rather Than Limit It

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When we consider what it takes to be successful, most experts will suggest that you find one particular area of focus and narrow in on it as tight as possible. But I’ve tried that strategy and found it less than inspiring. To be honest, I believe it’s brought me more struggle than success.

From the start of my writing journey, I fell into the trap of hyper-focus. It was hard not to as this seems to be the strategy everyone preaches. Of course, there were plenty of things about a narrower view that made sense to me: my clarity and understanding should have been deeper in a tightly-defined niche, it would be easier to brand myself so that people could understand more easily what I was all about, and it seemed certain that I would have the capability to go farther.

But what I’ve learned over my approximately five-year journey of finding my own area of impact is that it is perfectly acceptable to hold a looser grip, to be more expansive in my view, and to allow myself to explore a topic from multiple angles.

Go Wide or Go Home

The first benefit to a wider view is that by not narrowing in on a tight focus, our experience can be more fun and enjoyable. I could literally feel the constriction of the narrow way but by loosening my grip I became much more like the 7-year-old boy I remember myself to be: curious, full of fun, and in love with life. To not be constrained is to find freedom and in that, we can retain the best of what it means to be alive and in pursuit of those things that are most important to us.

Interestingly, I feel as though I have been going farther in my work faster than I ever did before. When you imagine driving a car in a very tight alley you can see how your intense attention could sap your energy and that your ability to drive would be marked by a tendency for over-correction. Rather than simply driving with ease and speed, you would be limited to focusing on your path and not hitting the side walls. Get out on the open road, however, and you would again be able to drive freely toward your destination.

I have also discovered that I have many more opportunities to grow when my horizons widen. When we are more open to life, more is drawn to us. It is the difference between a closed fist and an open one. And personally, we are free to grow in ways we never would have known otherwise. Rather than being root-bound to a small pot, when we are planted within a larger landscape we can grow unimpeded.

“Your greatness is measured by your horizons.” – Michelangelo

As we open to more, something else directs a greater growth in us as well. Evolutionary scientists tell us that a key component for a quantum leap from one level to a higher one is the presence of a minimal degree of complexity. This is not to necessarily imply a state of chaos but rather the bringing together of many things into a more sophisticated whole.

This state is also known as synergy, the synthesis of many different elements into something that is greater than the sum of its individual parts. But to be effective, synergy requires exactly that, many different parts. I’ve found that with a higher level of complexity comes an ability to evolve to greater heights. With the one-track focus, we grow but don’t truly evolve.

A Case Study: Elon Musk

As we discuss this idea of going wide rather than narrowing in our focus, it seems proper to substantiate it as a strategy that actually brings success in its implementation. Toward that end, I cannot think of a more perfect example than Elon Musk. Elon is arguably one of the most successful individuals of our time. And he also has a reputation for anything but a narrow focus.

Elon is currently the CEO or involved at a high level with numerous companies, institutes, and foundations, all of which are distinctly different in focus. But when one looks closer, there seems to be a fit and all his interests somehow work with or benefit from each other.

By the measure of the specific-focus strategy, he should be an utter failure—a branding nightmare and productivity backfire. But he is completely the opposite. His efforts seem to be extremely successful and people easily perceive a personal brand for him—the wizard intellect and bold individual who is taking humanity forward despite all naysayers and all bureaucracy.

“De-focus, for there lies another perspective.”

Widening Your Own View

My suggestion is rather than blindly believing that a highly-focused strategy is the only way to succeed, try loosening the reigns and go a little wider than narrower. This is backwards advice to most you’ve heard and there are plenty of brand and productivity specialists who will counter the argument.

But I’m not advocating for focusing on completely unrelated interests. The point is to just not be too specific. You can always go a little wider in your particular field. Things will still relate in some way—let it all find its own inherent balance. As you do I believe that you will find greater ease and enjoyment toward a higher level of success. Undoubtedly your growth will flourish in ways the hyper-focused strategy never would have allowed.

Aaron Force is a blogger from Seattle, Washington. He writes to help others live their most powerful life by allowing them to find their purpose, get unstuck, and impact the world. He can be found at www.aaronforce.net or at https://www.facebook.com/aforce01/.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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