Life
Trying to Build Charisma? Pay Attention to How You Speak
Have you ever listened to yourself talking and said how on earth do I sound that terrible? Most of us don`t realize they have voice issues until we accidentally listen to our voice or seek professional help. But the truth is, 38 percent of your charisma comes from the way you talk.
The more appealing your voice is to people, the more trust they`ll put in you, but the opposite is also true. Stuttering, talking too fast, not breathing properly, can ruin your charisma and make people unable to enjoy your company.
Here are a few things you can do to sound more charismatic anytime you open your mouth:
Learn how to talk slowly
Talking fast is anti-charismatic. I was a fast talker, in fact, I was the quickest talker my debate team ever had – a teacher whispered to me fifteen years ago – and it drove me crazy until I did the right thing and hired a coach. What I learned later was so simple, yet so useful, and it helped me to this day control the rate at which I speak.
First off, you need to figure out your exact rate of speech. Get an article and record yourself reading it at your natural rate for 2-5 minutes. Now, divide the total number of words you`ve read over the total number of minutes and you`ll get your words per minute count “wpm.” If your rate exceeds 175 wpm then you, my friend, are a fast talker and we need to change that.
How? Pay attention to the rate at which most people talk, especially on TV and radio. You need to get a feeling for how fast you should speak and bring that feeling into your consciousness. Next, set some time every morning to read out loud. Practice the same article/passage you started with earlier until you can hold it to +160 wpm. Once you`re okay with it, move to different reading materials.
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” – Theodore Roosevelt
The third step is to bring what you`ve practiced to you daily life. Each day, pick one person and dedicate the entire conversation to speaking at a controlled pace. If you`re in this with someone, ask them to stop you as soon as you begin to talk faster. When this happens, stop, adjust, and get back to your controlled pace. You may feel pretentious but stay on the line. The more you practice, the more comfortable you will feel.
Use the power of pausing
Charisma is the mix between being liked and being equally respected. You need to convey power and you need to convey warmth both at the same time. And you can do this using two simple tricks: First, start reducing how quickly you reply to people and add more pauses to your speeches. Whenever it`s your turn to speak, pause for a couple of seconds before saying your first word. The second trick is to lower your tone at the end of important sentences to make an impact. Simply raise your voice at the beginning of the last sentence then go downhill from there.
Warm up every morning
If you have a morning routine, which I recommend you do, then you should integrate a few exercises to warm up you voice for a stronger tone and better pronunciation. This is what any self-respected voice coach will tell you.
So how to warm up? There are many things to do, some of which are:
- Blowing through your lips
- Blowing through tongue
- Doing circles with your tongue and touching all your teeth
- Yawning to exercise your soft palate
Overcome indecisiveness
You can call him wicked, morally corrupt or dishonest but how do you think Donald Trump has got his way into the White House? You can`t deny the fact that without his unbelievable conviction, the man who spends more time on Twitter than presidents of the P5 group combined wouldn`t have beaten all the odds and won the election.
The world, my friend, is a place where your ideas can mean nothing without the conviction to back them up. Hell, you can have people follow your utter nonsense and call you a leader with enough confidence and a few sharp words sprinkled on top of it. Several studies found that people follow leaders for the faith they convey not the ideas they pose, so imagine if you have both the right ideas and the rock-solid conviction in them. You`ll rock the world and bend it to your will.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
From my research, there are three ways to induce conviction in your conversations: preparation, intonation, and controlled practicing.
- Preparation: Rehearsing what you`ll say before important meetings will help you sound more confident. Pick three interesting topics to talk about as you leave home, it`ll only take five minutes.
- Intonation: Elevate your pitch as you stress over important words and keep it down as you finish a major sentence. Notice the difference between the following phrases: You can`t talk to me this way. You can “NOT” talk to me this way… Ever. Same words but different degrees of power. By raising your voice as you say “NOT,” you force the other person to take your words seriously. Watch CNN and see how reporters use a wide range of tones as they speak. Mimic them.
- Controlled practicing: The next time you`re out with your buddies, pick a topic you know nothing about and talk about it with absolute conviction as if you`re the baddest badass of that topic. Eight times out of ten, your friends will accept your POV without much resistance. Pick-up artists use this exercise to overcome indecisiveness, and there`s nothing to stop you from using it to build your confidence.
So, where to start? Obviously, the best thing to do is hire a voice coach. They will hold you accountable and make sure you do the exercises on time. Warren Buffett still has his Dale Carnegie public-speaking certificate hung on his wall because of how it improved his life.
But what if you can’t afford a coach? Then I suggest you at least do 5 minutes of warming up each morning and set aside 10 more for reading out loud. If you can guarantee those 15 minutes every day for a year, then I’m sure your charisma will multiply.
How do you build charisma? Comment below!
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com
Life
3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately
The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness
“It’s never enough.” (more…)
Life
Rewiring Your Brain for Success: Quick Techniques to Shift Your Mindset Today
Success depends not only on external factors but also on the way you think
Did you ever think you could never be successful? Can only the chosen people with incredible talents, a wealthy family, or fortunate circumstances be successful? Believe us if your answer is yes; it only seems that way. (more…)
Life
How to Cope With Burnout Without Losing Motivation
Burnout is a real risk for every motivated and responsible person
Sometimes, the main obstacles on the way to success are not failure or bad luck. We often prevent ourselves from reaching the heights only because we want it very much and do not keep track of how much effort we put into this process. (more…)
Life
The Happiness Myth: Why Waiting for a Sign Might Be Holding You Back
Many people think that happiness will just happen when the stars align. The truth is, the more we wait, the more we miss out
We often believe in the Happiness Myth — that happiness comes from a big sign, a perfect moment, or some outside event. But what if waiting for this moment is what’s keeping you stuck? (more…)
-
Success Advice4 weeks ago
Daily Rituals of History’s Most Successful People
-
Life3 weeks ago
Rewiring Your Brain for Success: Quick Techniques to Shift Your Mindset Today
-
Life3 weeks ago
How to Cope With Burnout Without Losing Motivation
-
Life2 weeks ago
3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately
-
Success Advice3 weeks ago
How to Kickstart Your Business Idea as a Grad Student
-
Success Advice3 weeks ago
Success Without Purpose is the Path to a Lifetime of Overwhelm
-
Startups2 weeks ago
How to Protect Your Startup From the Most Common Digital Pitfalls
-
Entrepreneurs2 weeks ago
How to Grow Your Business in 2025 with AI, Blockchain, and Key Skills
2 Comments