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The Psychology of a Habit and How You Can Change Them

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Image Credit | Joel Brown

Humans have an inability to change; this is an argument that has been discussed for centuries and it is largely because of our tendency to be creatures of habit. Think for a moment your daily routine, if you are like 98% of human beings, your morning habits are relatively the same without any true variations from year to year. The other two percent are the very successful minded people that change their habits constantly to maximize their success in life.

The reason that humans stick to their bad habits for so long is because of many reasons; comfortability, fear of failure and the strength of a habit over time. Research shows that the longer the habit has been in effect, the harder it is to change. However, my goal is to articulate that human’s have the ability to change and become adaptable to any and all change simply by replacing an old thought habits with new and better ones.

Moreover, my goal is to persuade that humans don’t actually have an inability to change but rather they are masters of change because they can control their habits.

Understanding habits and How they’re formed 

Before one can change a habit, they must first know what they are, and how they are formed. A habit by definitions is, “a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance” (Merriam-Webster), moreover, a habit is formed simply by repetition.

Anything that you think and do over and over again becomes a habit and according to the University College London, it takes on average 66 days for a new habit to form. On paper this seems quite feasible, however, it is easier said than done because of our human nature to be comfortable. The human mind for over 500 plus years has repetitively been programed to think in black and white, meaning that we are taught to believe things are what they are instead of believing that they have the ability to adapt and change.

Because of this human bias, making new habits stick becomes challenging because the battle has to be won in the mind before it can be manifested to reality. Being aware of this human cognitive bias is crucial for creating the willpower necessary to change any habit you want; humans are not bounded to anything, yet because of thinking habits and our interpretation of them it often feels like we are.

“H is for Habit, winners make a habit of doing the things losers don’t want to do.” – Lucas Remmerswaal

Habits Are Consciously Started, And Subconsciously Finished 

The other conflict that gets in the way of creating new and better habits is the inability to consciously notices habits. Majority of people’s core beliefs and ideologies of the self were developed at a young age, before even having the ability to subjectively pick and choose what they wanted to believe, and also how to properly interpret the situation that occurred.

This is where memory plays an interesting role, our memory is often distorted based on the current mindset we have, meaning an event that once had no significance when it occurred, in a new context or mindset can have a purpose.

Thought habits that developed in adolescence, unless replaced with a better habit, probably still have an unconscious impact. How one can go about changing their thought process is by simply auto suggesting a thought of desire and training it like a habit, consciously sending positive thoughts to the subconscious mind.

An autosuggestion is a conscious thought sent to the unconscious mind. Because thoughts are impulses and have a vibration of frequency, doing this over and over again can create a new habit of thinking; the same way a habit is formed on a surface level it can also be formed on a chemical level as well. Knowing this is fundamental in fighting through the uncomfortable part of change.

Habits Are Not Changed, Only Replaced 

Additionally, in order to adapt to change quickly it is immensely important to know that old habits do not disappear, however, they are instead replaced by better ones. Habits cannot be easily replaced; the body and mind naturally know this and will at first resist.

It is believed that a lot of humans bad habits are caused by stress and boredom and these two elements directly affect the body and mind and its resistance to new habits. Because of this natural resistance, it has been assumed by the 98% of people that think that change doesn’t last leading them to resist it at all costs.

Giving these points, it is easy to see the challenges of replacing old habits and the reluctance of people to resist change, however, it is also clear that training new habits requires a time-tested method for adapting and creating all change. Human’s don’t have an inability to change and fascinatingly enough when aware of this, humans have a tendency to embrace change because they understand the process of creating change.

“The Habits that took years to build, do not take a day to change.” – Susan Powter

Change is a matter of patience, willpower and consistency practiced consciously for roughly 66 days, long enough for a habit itself to take over involuntary. This is important for humans to understand because the only difference between them and the person they are inspired to be are the habits they need to change.

What tips would you give someone to help them change a habit? Please leave your thoughts below!

Kyle Colley is a Junior Political Science major from Denver, Colorado who attends Morehouse College in Atlanta, Georgia. He is a freelance writer with the passion of inspiring people to manifest their passions and become multicultural. In 2016, Kyle became a co-founder of Read More Co. a forward-thinking company that uses fashion and books to promote the importance of reading. Read More Co. believes that reading intentionally with a goal in mind will lead its followers to success and happiness in any endeavor in their lives. You can find him on Facebook (Kyle Colley) or on Instagram.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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