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The 8 Gifts You Will Receive From Vulnerability

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vulnerable

Permitting yourself to be vulnerable may imply weakness, a lack of character and an inability to meet life on life’s terms. On the flip side, it forces you to confront aspects of yourself you might otherwise never see. Vulnerability brings forth strength allowing you to face your fears. It is through this process, you discover who you are.

After failing at my first business, I faced my own vulnerability in nearly every aspect of my life, from my self-esteem to my marriage. No part of me was left unscathed. I came through it having learned some valuable lessons.

Here are the 8 gifts I received from vulnerability:

1. Humility

Vulnerability keeps your ego in check as it facilitates humility. Being completely real with yourself and others highlights your needs, so you can focus on meeting them. You see who and where you are from a new perspective. You meet your true self, and in doing so, right-size your ego.  

2. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to share another person’s emotions. Rather than pity or compassion, empathy occurs when you connect with the emotional state of another. This happens most often when a person is vulnerable thus through the experience, you learn how to meet others where they are.

3. Trust

When you express vulnerability, you begin to build trust in yourself and others. You can’t learn inside your safe zone. Developing trust involves giving something you value to someone, then watching what the person does with it.

“Trust each other again and again. When the trust level gets high enough, people transcend apparent limits, discovering new and awesome abilities of which they were previously unaware.” – David Armistead

4. Courage

Vulnerable people are courageous. Each time you allow yourself the freedom to be real, regardless of the cost, you gain a measure of courage, a resource no one can take from you unless you give it away willingly. Courage is starting over after a failure, risking a chance no one else believes in, or taking an unpopular stand rather than compromising your values.  

5. Strength

Vulnerability allows you to find strength through weakness. You are strongest when you allow yourself to be weak because in this state, you are willing to let others in to provide support. You discover what you are made of in doing so.

6. Loyalty

Loyalty occurs when you choose to spend a bit more money or time with a business or person you know is honest rather than spending less with little confidence in who you are supporting. It’s walking into your favorite Starbucks to pay $5.00 for a latte you could have made at home for $2.00. You love the products, are loyal to the brand and the baristas.  Loyalty keeps you coming back.

7. Acceptance

Acceptance of self and others is facilitated through vulnerability. Not only do you meet yourself when you let your walls down, you start to understand and accept this weaker part of you. It is through weakness we find strength.

8. Clarity

When you are vulnerable, you lose your preoccupation with keeping your walls intact. This gives you the opportunity to focus on other things. By bringing it into focus, you see the world around you with greater clarity. With clarity comes the ability to make good decisions from a position of strength and intention. You’ll work faster with more accuracy when your objective is clear, no matter what you are working toward.

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” – Helen Keller

Giving myself permission to be vulnerable with others has brought nothing but good things.  Have I been hurt in the process? Yes, but far less than I expected. When I find myself pulling inward, I remind myself how many positive experiences I’ve had each time I left my comfort zone.

When my first entrepreneurial venture failed, I had to work through a lot of shame and fear.  I was lost and thought the failure was permanent. Vulnerability was my state of being for months. Out of the loss came new strength and the determination to try again.

Remembering everything I learned the first time around, I took a big risk and created a successful company. My failure was the foundation on which I constructed my dream. I built my brand, developed incredibly loyal customer relationships, had an amazing team of employees and fed my passion.

The willingness to work as long and hard as it takes is over-valued, unless you work on getting to know yourself. Only then will you appreciate the necessity of letting your guard down. The ability to be yourself, to see the need for authenticity, this is the ultimate gift of vulnerability.

Do you struggle being vulnerable? If so, let us know what you’re doing to combat this in the comments below!

My name is Robin Aldrich. Personal development is my passion. Motivating individuals and companies to become better versions of themselves is my mission. Helping organizations design creative solutions in the area of customer and employee relationships, and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship, is my job. I've failed and succeeded, lost one company, then started another on a crazy-skinny budget and wound up with $1M annually in sales. You can find me on Facebook and my website.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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