Connect with us

Life

How & Why You Should Live A Life of Integrity

Published

on

mahatma gandhi Integrity

Have you ever stopped to assess how honest you are? Most people lie almost every single day, or at least omit the truth, and hide their real thoughts and feelings about what is happening. Why do people do this? Let’s explore that in an open and honest discussion, including what it’s like to live with integrity at all times… to be genuine and real.

Most people consider themselves to be “good”. After a career of working with dangerous and recidivist offenders, I have had some of the most dishonest and selfish people in New Zealand tell me time and time again that they see themselves as basically good people. And a huge majority of the non-criminal friends and associates I have had also indicate that they see themselves as people of integrity… “I only lie when I have too”.

So what is integrity? In my opinion this concept requires a best-effort attempt to at all times be transparent and honest. A person of integrity is, in my mind, someone who is the same person in all situations, from the boardroom meeting, to a funeral, to breakfast with their family. They do not hide their reactions or opinions, they do not manipulate others through deception, and they do not pretend.

Very few people I have met fit this strict criteria, because most people I know (including those I would put into the “good person” category) at least omit their view of the truth regularly. Think about yourself during a normal week; how many times do you:

  • Tell someone you feel “fine” when really you feel otherwise?
  • Smile and nod in agreement with something you do not agree with?
  • Compliment someone to make them feel better, rather than because you feel a genuine impulsive desire to compliment them?
  • Help someone out without asking for anything in return, but secretly make a mental note of the favour because they now “owe you one”?
  • Allow someone to inconvenience you, frustrate you, or get in your way, just to avoid conflict?

 

Hey, we all do these things, so don’t beat yourself up! You may consider dishonesty to be limited to deliberately deceiving someone in a malicious way for your own benefit, when actually it goes far beyond that. You may find yourself being dishonest with the best of intentions. If you are like I was, you hide your feelings or tell lies for any of the following reasons:

  • To keep a situation stable
  • To avoid confrontation and conflict
  • To prevent someone’s feelings from getting hurt
  • To keep information confidential to ensure someone’s privacy
  • To avoid hassle, including having to explain yourself or defend your actions

So what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with being “nice”? I used to believe that there was nothing wrong with this, that in fact I was being a noble person with high social intuition and emotional quotient (EQ) by keeping the peace and facilitating a happy atmosphere. But then as time passed I realised that I was actually only creating short-term positive outcomes; that unbeknownst to me I was causing long-term negative consequences. By not honestly presenting my feelings about things each and every time I had the opportunity to, I had set some precedents that ended up with something negative I had to overcome later on.

 

Some of the negative consequences of telling “good” lies

Hiding your negative feelings in reaction to something someone does or says may seem like a legitimate strategy to keep the peace and avoid unnecessary conflict. However, what you are actually doing is condoning an idea or behaviour that you truly believe is negative, and therefore giving the person who is doing it unhelpful feedback. If, for example, a friend starts going on a racist rant and you don’t argue with him, just to avoid conflict, then you are giving him feedback that it is OK to be racist. You are setting him up to reinforce his own skewed views. Later on, he assaults someone for being a different race to him, all because no-one ever challenged his distorted views.

Helping out someone without asking for anything in return, yet secretly thinking that this person now owes you a favour, may feel like you are reducing their guilt in receiving your help. Think about it: you are actually increasing guilt! They now feel vaguely indebted to you or, more likely, they feel like they are imposing on you. If instead you tell them honestly that you will ask for their help for something in the future in return, not only will they feel totally guilt-free about the exchange, they will also get a better understanding of how valuable your time is. This way you don’t set a precedent of them under-valuing you and abusing your generosity.

Put yourself in the position of someone asking for help: doesn’t it feel better when you can offer them something back in return? Doesn’t something feel more valuable when it is not completely free?

Integrity Picture Quote

 

Can you be honest in a safe way?

Yes, if you take the time to present your views and feelings appropriately. Obviously, if your boss says something you disagree with and you shout out “That’s ridiculous, don’t be such an idiot, I want you out of my life you moron!” then you put your job on the line. It’s all about how you present your feelings. There are many different ways to be honest, and being diplomatic and respectful can also have integrity. Showing respect for someone because of their position or relationship with you does not override honesty.

The only way to learn how to be genuinely honest in all situations is to practice it. You don’t have to dive straight into removing all dishonesty from your interactions this very instant. Once I realised I wanted to make this change, I started off gradually, with only observing my dishonesty at first. For a couple of weeks I didn’t try to be more honest, I just tried to catch myself out when I was lying or hiding my true feelings. I tried to analyse why I did it, and what the outcomes of doing so was.

Only after that did I start expressing my feelings more honestly, dishing them out over time in a controlled and experimental fashion. I would set mini-goals, like “today I will answer every question honestly”, or “in today’s team meeting I’m going to express that I think there could be a better way of doing x, y or z”.

So being honest is not about being brutally critical. If that’s how it comes out, then maybe you need to learn how to look for the positives in people rather than just the faults. One way of doing this is following the management practice of giving five positive feedback comments for every negative one. Don’t just express those negative feelings you hide, but also expand and increase your expression of positive ones to balance them out. There’s a lot of great things happening out there once you open your eyes by trying to find them.

One way of delivering feedback is to follow models of effective reflection. My favourite is the “BEID” model, which stands for:

Behaviour / Example / Impact / Do

Basically, to avoid personally attacking someone when you are trying to express a feeling, try following a template that clarifies what exactly you disagree with. If, for example, someone regularly makes you look bad in team meetings, you could pull them aside after one and express yourself using this model:

“I just wanted to give you some feedback on something you keep doing. I feel that you often undermine me in team meetings (behaviour), like today when you said that I didn’t get my report in on time (example). It makes me look bad in a situation where I’m not able to explain myself or the context (impact). What I would prefer is that you take me aside and discuss these with me before team meetings, so that we can look at alternatives to improve how I work (do)”.

This is much more effective than saying that he’s a jerk behind his back to your colleagues!

 

“The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty.” – Zig Ziglar

 

 

Conclusion

There is a lot more required to the practical aspect of living a life of integrity, and it’s all about having control over how you express yourself. But it’s also about being honest with yourself first and foremost; admitting to yourself that not only can you be dishonest, you do it because you are afraid of the consequences of being honest.

I can tell you from personal experience that the transition to a life of integrity is nowhere near as hard as it seems to be. You’ll find people respect and trust you more, that they start seeking your feedback because of your integrity. One of the best things I noticed was that I felt much more comfortable and guilt-free in more situations, because I had nothing to hide. It made me feel like more of a real man.

I look forward to your honest feedback! Have a great week (and I genuinely mean that). Thanks for reading.

Dan is a lifestyle and success coach, with his own company The Inspirational Lifestyle Ltd. He lives in Auckland, New Zealand, and loves to share his advice and opinions on how to attain success. Make sure you checkout more of Dans articles at: TheInspirationalLifestyle.com

Advertisement
28 Comments

28 Comments

  1. jailbreak with cydia

    Apr 14, 2016 at 9:05 am

    Valuable information. Fortunate me I discovered your website by accident,
    and I am surprised why this twist of fate didn’t took place in advance!

    I bookmarked it.

  2. Stefanie

    Mar 31, 2015 at 8:18 pm

    Good post. I certainly love this site. Thanks!

  3. clifford williams

    Jul 31, 2014 at 9:59 am

    nice to be here

  4. pawan

    Apr 1, 2014 at 3:46 am

    I absoutly agee with u if your honest and have highest level of honesty..you become fearless..

  5. Moe

    Feb 23, 2014 at 7:42 pm

    This article just gave me some info that i needed for my paper. Thank you very much 🙂 but i don’t think that some of the suggestion would go well for a boss that always wants you to agree with them.

  6. kausarbilal

    Oct 24, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    A very nice article with practical points to ponder and practice, but why the pic of Gandhi. It is a controversial figure. There might be people who don’t look at him in a way you do. So, wouldn’t it be better to chose blog image as the one that doesn’t repel people from your site or article?

  7. Raine

    Oct 17, 2013 at 9:13 am

    just got in this site today where i feel most hurt..it calm me down reading your article…

  8. Daniel Munro

    Oct 5, 2013 at 3:11 am

    Ah yes, honesty in the workplace when we don’t want to get fired!

    Such a mine-field right? However I truly believe that there is never a NEED for dishonesty, we just need to learn the appropriate METHOD to deliver our honesty. While the BEID model is very direct, there are other safer ways to express what you feel without getting fired. Sometimes we need a strategy for how to manage our managers

    I will write an article on how to manage your boss, and include some practical ways to express yourself honestly without risking your job, so keep an eye out for that one

    Of course I have to ask, if the job requires you to do things that make you feel guilt or shame, is it time to start thinking about a new path…?

  9. Marci

    Sep 23, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    I think this is attainable in your personal life, but not sure about professional life. I think it greatly depends on the work situation you are in. More than a few people have that boss that doesn’t want you to disagree. I’ll admit, that is a really unfortunate situation (and maybe not the right person is leading the team), but when survival comes into play….I’m sorry, but sometimes people need to keep their paycheck!

  10. William

    Sep 21, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    I just stumbled onto this site today. Love the article and the way of expressing feedback thru the BEID model. I love articles that hold up a mirror so I can check my way of being. I strive to be the change I want to see in the world. I will definitely be returning, thanks for sharing!

    • Joel

      Joel

      Sep 21, 2013 at 4:25 pm

      Thank you William, I’m glad you found us 🙂

    • Daniel Munro

      Oct 5, 2013 at 3:04 am

      Thanks for the kind words William, and feel free to suggest further article ideas that will give you the feedback you need to be the rolemodel you want to be

  11. Titilayo

    Sep 17, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    could not finish reading this article but i must comment on the little i read,this article is so real and so motivating.Thank you.

  12. Ernest

    Sep 14, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    I really connected with this post!!! Thumbs up

  13. Jenifer Lamug (Jing-jing)

    Sep 13, 2013 at 3:01 am

    Salute Mr. Dan. Thank you for the BEID! This is another interesting article for me to improve my attitude. I must admit that i have an attitude problem sometimes.

    • Daniel Munro

      Oct 5, 2013 at 3:02 am

      Thanks Jenifer, the BEID changed my whole style of leadership! We all slip with our attitudes sometimes – self-awareness is the best we can hope for, so we change when we see ourselves slip

  14. ann tran

    Sep 12, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    Thank you for the reinforcement. The goal is to live an authentic life.

  15. Cianna

    Sep 12, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    It was very well written. Seems like the battle of living with integrity is tougher to practice because most people around us in this materialistic society are being blinded what they think is way of living.

    • Daniel Munro

      Oct 5, 2013 at 3:01 am

      Indeed Cianna, but let us not blame them. We are raised by other people’s beliefs and not all of us are lucky enough to discover that we can change these. By living with integrity we can help others realise when they are not, and lead them to open their eyes to change and self-control

  16. Dan Munro

    Sep 12, 2013 at 3:18 am

    Thanks my friends, more to come! If you guys have any topics you’re interested in me writing about, let me know

  17. Caitleen Storm Elizabeth Chisolm Brown

    Sep 11, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    Thank you Mr Munroe this article caused me to step back and observe myself! I am going to try this 😀

    • Daniel Munro

      Oct 5, 2013 at 2:59 am

      Being honest with yourself is 10x more challengin than being honest with others, so well done you for taking that step!

  18. Carlos

    Sep 11, 2013 at 7:03 pm

    Integrity is becoming inte-dirty, Not a lot of people wake up every day with a mind set to be like that. I seen many people that don’t respect the own principles; that bothers me. As for me i prefer to lose an argument and get something from it, but that is not the case for many people i know or work with.
    Since you are so good about writing about this topics i will be happy if you next topic is compassion. I manage bars and it seems that people that are low or have no compassion will justify selfishness no matter what.
    Integrity will represent compassion but will integrity exist if we do not have compassion for others??

    • Daniel Munro

      Oct 5, 2013 at 2:56 am

      Interesting point Carlos, genuine compassion vs pretending to care – great idea for an article! Watch this space…

  19. M

    Sep 9, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Along with one of your previous post and this, thanks for the good advice Mr. Munro.

    • Daniel Munro

      Oct 5, 2013 at 2:54 am

      No worries M, I’ll make sure to keep them coming

  20. Mr Ben

    Sep 9, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    I must say a very big thanks to mr Dan, i love this article, God bless you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

8 Things You Can Do to Rise Above Failure and Attain Success

Published

on

how to rise above failure
Image Credit: Unsplash

Highly successful people have tasted failure more than success. Whether its Nikola Tesla or Michael Jordan, everyone had his/her fair share of failures before rising to the pinnacle of success. Yet, most people I know are averse to the idea of failure.

When ambition fuels your desires, you become so conscious about avoiding failure that you forget to learn how to cope with it when you actually experience it. So, when you come face-to-face with adversity, it often overwhelms you.

This brings us to the question, how can you train yourself to overcome these difficulties and use them to your advantage? Here’s how:

1. Acceptance is important to overcome failure

When the going gets tough, one of the most frustrating things you may get to hear is “stay positive.” The idea of positive thinking has been misconstrued, misused, and abused continuously. Contrary to popular belief, positive thinking has nothing to do with smiling and being happy with everything that happens to you all the time. Anyone who preaches that is either lying or crazy.

Use positive thinking to learn, grow, and evolve from the experiences we gather in life. Positive thinking simply means that if you are faced with a setback, you work hard to overcome the challenges. When you experience hardships, it is alright to feel upset and disappointed. Our objective, however, is not to stay down.

2. Be honest with yourself

The most crucial part of dealing with a failure involves pausing for a couple of minutes and pondering over what happened. You need to be completely honest with yourself on why it happened.

It is easy to pull out the Smartphone, turn on the laptop or find other forms of distraction. Most people would do anything to distract themselves and keep their eyes shut to the mistakes they have made.

However, if you don’t confront, you don’t learn. And if you don’t learn, then you are setting yourself up for failure again. Albert Einstein famously stated that it was insane to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different outcome. If you don’t derive a lesson out of mistakes and failures in life, then you are doomed to keep repeating them, whether you realise it or not.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

3. Don’t beat yourself up over a temporary setback

When you have experienced a setback, many of you may succumb to the feeling that you’ll always keep failing. It is easy to convince yourself that you are indeed a failure. Don’t let such destructive ideas or thoughts creep into your head. Instead, keep reminding yourself that just because you failed today, it doesn’t mean you’d fail the next time as well.

It is also important that you treat your failure as a passing phase. When you keep moving forward, focus on the right things, and keep learning. Perceiving the setback as a temporary phase rather than something permanent is vital to developing an optimistic attitude in life.

4. Focus on nurturing and improving yourself

Failures don’t discriminate, and it comes to everyone at some point. The trick lies in learning to deal with it and what you do about it that makes all the difference. In many cases, failure happens because a person wasn’t prepared, didn’t invest time on planning or was ill-equipped. It can also be because Lady Luck decided not to shower her favours.

Except for the last one, the rest of the issues can be fixed. Prepare a list of all the things that you think resulted in your failure. Start working on them one at a time. Do everything in your capacity to rectify, improve, resolve, and develop.

5. Find inspiration and support in abundance

Interacting with someone close can be more helpful than you think. You can also learn from people who have been through similar situations and have achieved what you hope to. Gain insights on how they managed to sail through the setbacks or low-points before and during the moment of success.

Or you can gain the motivation or enthusiasm by listening to someone else from an audiobook or podcast for maybe 30-60 minutes. It doesn’t have to be focused on your current setbacks.  Change your mood and mindset back towards optimism again.

6. Adopt a constructive approach and learn from the adverse situation

Consider it as valuable feedback and take home something you can implement in the process of overcoming your failure. The following are some of the questions you need to ask yourself:

  • What is the lesson for me?
  • How can I rectify myself to avoid making the same mistake and do better next time?
  • What can I do to enjoy guaranteed success?

You don’t need to rush through the process. Some of the answers may be immediate, while others might take an hour, a day or even a week to pop up. The significant thing is to start thinking about the situation from this perspective. Also, you need to be constructive about things rather than getting stuck with denial, negativity and apathy.

7. Stop mulling over and move on

Processing the situation and accepting it is the ideal way to deal with failures. Any individual who has experienced failures will know that it is quite easy to stay stuck in the loop of similar thoughts. In fact, this may go around and around for weeks or even months.

Now, in order to be free from this trap, the one habit that might help you is the set of questions like the ones shared above. You can also create a rough plan for how you wish to move forward from here. So, take some time to sit down and write them down.

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

8. Purge out all the negativity

Another impactful way to handle the emotional meltdown and the thoughts that emerge from experiencing failure is to purge out all the negativity. In order to let everything out, you need to confide in someone close to you. There are two ways to go about it: Engaging in a conversation with someone will allow you to see it from a different perspective. The person you talk to can assist you in grounding yourself in reality again and motivate you to look for a way forward.

Or you can simply vent about it while the other person who is listening can sort things out for you. He/she can help you accept what happened and boost your spirit by instilling a sense of hope.

The significant thing to remember is that while you can’t stop obstacles from appearing in life, you can devise smart ways to handle them. If you persevere, you can easily discover opportunities that have been waiting for you on the other side. Now, as you become more efficient at dealing with the failures, you will allow yourself to see the positive side in even the toughest of scenarios.

Continue Reading

Life

How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

Published

on

stress
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?” (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

The Truth About the Law of Attraction

Published

on

law of attraction
Image Credit: Unsplash

When we want something, we generally imagine the form it will take when it manifests. If we’re not careful, however, we can find ourselves attached more to the imagined form than the actual desired outcome. This is like placing an online order and expecting it to come in a blue box shipped by UPS. If we then receive a red box delivered by FedEx, we might not realize that it’s what we ordered, and never even open it!

For example, most of us say that we want money, but when money comes in the form of a free coffee or a gift or a discount, we don’t see it for what it is. We overlook it, and maybe we even say “No, thanks” and decline the gift which is, in one way or another, still money. In doing so, we fail to appreciate the value of the discount, the gift, or the freebie. If it isn’t cash being handed to us, we don’t see it as a manifestation of our desire.

The law of attraction is a funny thing.

It is much more complex and much more intricate than what it seems to be and yet, at the same time, it’s so very simple: We always get what we want. We always receive more of the energy at which we vibrate. Always.

However, if we’re acting from the energy of “I don’t deserve it” or “I don’t think I’m worthy,” then whatever it is that we receive will be negated and essentially unseen. On the other hand, if we are open, observant, and maintaining an abundance mindset, we will receive our request on numerous levels and from plentiful sources!

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill

This is because we “place our order” not only through our words, but through our actions, our beliefs, and our thoughts.

Last month, I was open to receiving a new client. I didn’t know how it would happen, but I’d set my intention: I was going to get a new client. That night, out of nowhere, I got a message from an old student of mine. She was looking to hire me again as her coach for the upcoming college entrance exams in the U.S. But wait! I didn’t want an entrance exam client.

What I actually wanted was to get life and business coaching clients. This student was my “red box from Fed Ex.” I wanted to decline at first, but as I was about to reply, something made me stop. I asked myself, “Why am I rejecting this?”

This student is an amazing client. She pays on time. She’s not needy. She does her part. Best of all? She doesn’t short-change me. So I said yes, because I realized that the Universe was simply responding to the essence of my desire.

You see, my “Big Why” in everything I do has always been to facilitate an accelerated personal and business growth for my clients, and this student fit the bill in every way. She wanted the personal growth, she was ready to go all in and she reached out to me.

It didn’t look like the package I was expecting so I didn’t recognize it at first—and I nearly turned it away—but she was the perfect answer to my request.

Serving people like her has always been a driving force in my life.

The Universe knows that. It also knew that I wanted a client asap so that I could re-invest the money into my business, so it responded in the most ideal way… but in an unexpected form. And I came so close to missing it!

How many times have I missed other opportunities like this? How many times have I dismissed a “red box” because it wasn’t “blue?” I’ll never know. But I do know that, had I not stopped myself from sending a “No, thanks,” I would have felt as though the Universe wasn’t listening.

That’s the thing: the Universe is always listening.

The more open we are in receiving, the more we thrive. The more open our energy is, the greater the possibilities. Don’t just return that red box to the post office and keep waiting on a blue one. Ask yourself, first and foremost, if what you’re receiving at the moment matches up with your underlying desire.

See yourself living in abundance and you will attract it.” – Rhonda Byrne

The key is to be willing to receive anything and everything. How? Keep on reading1

1. Get clear on your “underlying desire.”

Identify exactly what it is that you really want—in my case, it was an ideal client (underlying) as opposed to a coaching client (surface)—and focus on that. Clear out all the mental noise and static that clouds your awareness.

2. Be flexible

Keep your eyes and mind open for anything that fits the description. When you ask for money, recognize that free coffee for what it is: $3 you were going to spend anyway, that can now remain in your pocket. Every penny on the ground, every coupon, it’s all money.

3. Keep an attitude of gratitude.

The more you appreciate what you have, the more that comes your way. Your grateful mindset opens the energetic door for more to flow your way, because “where attention goes, energy flows.” The more you focus on the things you want, the more you will draw them into your experience.

Remember, that the Universe responds to our requests in whatever way fits best within the big picture.

It’s a picture so big that we couldn’t possibly begin to see how it comes together. Trust it. Know that when you ask, you will receive. It may not come in the form you anticipate, but always in a form that responds to your underlying desire. You just have to be ready to see it.

Continue Reading

Life

7 Simple Ways to Master Your Emotions When Making Decisions

Published

on

how to master your emotions
Image Credit: Unsplash

A lot of people have big regrets when lying on their deathbed. These regrets are often related to bad decisions or decisions not taken. Thus, as it turns out, decision-making is dependent on great self-confidence. A person who has confidence in their decisions has an easier time making them.

Emotions also play a big role in all of this. This is a debate that has confronted two great thinkers. According to Descartes, “decisions are the product of the rational mind.” In other words, decision-making is essentially based on facts and mathematics.

But this thesis was refuted and proven to be wrong by Antonio Damasio in one of his works called “The Error of Descartes”. This was partly based on the story of Elliott, a kid that was very smart, who had above average rational capabilities, but incapable of making a decision, after a surgery to remove a brain tumor on the surface of his frontal lobes. After all his work in that matter, he concludes that a person who is incapable of emotion is incapable of making the most rational decisions.

The management of emotions is therefore completely inherent to good decision making, especially when making the most important decisions. To this end, here are 7 tips to put into practice to really master your emotions thus making the best decisions possible and never regreting them.

1. Take a step back

You must learn to take the time to identify and understand your emotions. Since physical reactions are emotionally related, also take the time to detect the reactions you have to some of your emotions. To be able to take the distance necessary to make decisions, it’s important to refer to your prefrontal cortex. This is the area of ​​the brain responsible for reasoning. To do so you need to put yourself in a stress-free environment for a few minutes.

“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent and committed decision.” – Tony Robbins

2. Breathe

The best way to do this is to learn to breathe deeply. This will allow activating your prefrontal cortex again, therefore, to have better control of your emotions so you do not react to them, let alone to the event that causes these emotions. Do this exercise for at least 15 minutes. It’s amazing how you can train yourself never to react, no matter what the situation. Ideally, let at least 24 hours go by before responding to a situation that would normally cause tension.

3. Pay attention

Once you are in the prefrontal cortex, put one hand on your abdomen, at the level of your intestines, and the other hand on your heart, and take the time to listen. These two parts of the body are the two major centers of vibrations and emotions. This is why it’s important to listen and pay attention to them.

The purpose of this exercise is to become aware of your gut and heart. What you need to remember is that the only person you need to trust is yourself. By practicing this exercise, one thing will become very clear: what the emotion you feel seeks to convey to you about the decision you have to make.

Since everything is energy, first make sure that the vibration of the decision you are about to make and that of your heart and gut are in sync. You will then know whether to go ahead with your decision or reject it based on whether you feel serenity or heaviness.

4. Discern untruths

It is important to know whether your nervousness is the result of an untruth you’ve told yourself. These can corrupt the vibrations that should help you make the right decision. You have to throw out all of these untruths and come to the decision-making without any filter. Stop thinking that you’re unlucky, that you’re in a bad situation, that your life is a failure, or that you are a victim.

5. Become aware of your emotions instead of avoiding them

To become aware of your emotions, you must learn to coach yourself. Ask yourself questions: How did you feel the last time you had to ask these types of questions? What did you get in return? Rename what you felt and the result you obtained from what you decided to do. You will thus be much better at assimilating, understanding, and welcoming your emotions.

6. Be as present as possible

There is no point in focusing on the big events surrounding the decision you want to make. Concentrate instead on the present moment, without analyzing the events. Judge based on emotions rather than the event. By being more present, you will be better able to listen to your emotions and feel them.

Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” – John C. Maxwell

7. Make your emotions your allies

Each of your emotions speaks to you through the physical and physiological reactions that they generate in you. Look to the weight of their impact on you as an indicator. Only by listening to them, using them, and managing them can you manage your emotions.

Habit comes with practice. With time, these 7 points will become much more natural and will become automatic. You will make better decisions for yourself.  This is one of the best ways to not end up with one of the big regrets.

Continue Reading

Trending