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How To Stay Resilient In The Face Of Adversity



How To Stay Resilient In The Face Of Adversity

The average person would rather be comfortable than be challenged. They have big dreams and big wishes, but are reluctant to sacrifice their comfort in order to make those dreams come true.

They might put in a little effort here and there, but when they’re faced with an obstacle, a setback, or a challenging situation, they pull back instead of push forward. Consequently, their dreams remain dreams, and their reality remains unchanged.

Resilience is required for success

Resilience is an essential quality to succeeding in any industry or endeavor. For every goal that you have, there are likely thousands of other people who have that same goal. Do you want your music to be played on the radio? Great. Thousands of other artists are also trying to get their music played on the radio as well. Is your goal to become a professional speaker? Great. Thousands of others are also trying to succeed as professional speakers. Is your goal to become a professional athlete? Fantastic. So are thousands of other people. The point is that no matter what you do, you will have competition. Often it is those who are the most resilient who surpass their competition and achieve their goals.

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein

Don’t let challenges stop you from moving forward

So what is resilience? Resilience is your ability to keep moving forward in spite of challenges, rejection, setbacks, obstacles, and disappointments. Resilience is your ability to maintain a positive attitude and remain optimistic when you have every reason not to be. Resilience means you don’t give up on your goals when they become difficult to achieve (and the bigger the goal, the greater the difficulty). Successful people are resilient. The average person is not.

The way to become more resilient is to have strong internal motivators. Motivators are reasons why you want to accomplish what you have set out to accomplish. Most people who say they want something –a new house, a luxury car, or a promotion, for example – are not clear on why they want it. Because they’re not clear, and because worthwhile goals are seldom achieved easily, they are unable to convince themselves why they should persist when the journey becomes difficult.

“Don’t wish it were easier. Wish you were better.” – Jim Rohn

Take control of the thoughts in your mind

Successful people understand the power of the mind. They know that when we are faced with a challenge, our mind demands an explanation. The human mind is hardwired to protect the body from harm and discomfort. This is why we instinctively pull our arm back when we touch a hot stove or cover our face when someone unexpectedly throws a ball at us. Our instincts tell us to protect ourselves.

Unfortunately those instincts can work against us when we are facing challenges. Challenges make us uncomfortable, which triggers our mind’s desire to avoid that discomfort. Unless we have a clear explanation for our discomfort (a motivator or a reason why), our mind will try to convince us to quit so that we can go back to being comfortable.



Comfort is the enemy of success

Whether your goal is to buy a house, become a professional athlete, earn a promotion, start a business, become financially free, raise a family, or perhaps finish a university degree, you will undoubtedly experience setbacks, roadblocks, detours, and obstacles along the way. You must be prepared for the challenges that will come your way.

No one becomes successful because they find an easy path. They become successful because they decide what they want, they go after it, and when obstacles arise they don’t quit or change directions. They find a way to overcome those obstacles and keep going. In order to master your craft and become one of the best in your field, you must be prepared to endure challenges. You must be resilient.

How has being resilient helped you succeed?
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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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