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How To *Not* Screw Up Your Life

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I’ve seen many people screw up their life over the years.

Most of it has been the result of poor decisions and a lack of discipline. I’m no angel myself – I too have screwed up parts of my life as well.

Your life is something you should reflect upon regularly. Learn to become your own critic and commit to fixing the things you know deep down inside are screwed up. Sometimes it takes a rock bottom period in your life to work out that you’ve screwed up.

The frustrating part is that you shouldn’t have to go to hell and back to figure out that you have screwed up your life. Personal improvement and reflection can get you to a place of understanding much faster. It takes time to get there though.

You might need to spend ten minutes a day assessing your life and seeing your decisions for what they are. I know what you’re thinking though: “Tim, I don’t have ten minutes a day, I’m flat out trying to survive and stay above water!”

If that’s your answer, then my response is this: If you don’t have ten minutes a day to reflect on your life and make sure you’re not screwing it up, then you already have a massive problem. Lack of time is the beginning of all of your problems.

Here’s how you will screw up your life:

Falling for addictions you think you don’t have

We all have one of the following addictions:

– Food
– Drugs
– TV shows / Online Games
– Sex
– Escapism
– Depression / anxiety
– Money

These addictions are at the root of what goes wrong and force us to screw our lives up. No matter who you are, you’re probably suffering from one of these even if you won’t admit it. I know I’m guilty of many of these. The first step is to admit your addiction.

Pretending you’re fine and not obsessed with one of these will force you to become ignorant. Ignorant people then go on to believe the lie that they can be perfect and that the problem is with everyone else. Before you worry about someone else’s backyard, think about your own first.

“If your own backyard is full of weeds, it’s because of your addictions”

Significant other

Romantic relationships are a big part of why we screw up our lives. While it’s impossible to avoid making mistaking in this area of your life completely, you can certainly minimise the damage. Ask yourself the following questions:

Why am I in a relationship?
How do I treat the other person?
What’s one negative similarity I have experienced in each romantic relationship?

The key phrase to remember with this part of your life is that you take “you” with you to each relationship.

Until you answer the above three questions, you’ll keep experiencing the phenomenon that is déjà vu in your romantic life.

Not saying this word enough

Your life get’s screwed up because of complexity. When your time is not focused in the right areas of your life and you have too much going on, everything goes bad.

Saying no is how you take back control. If you listen to interviews of billionaires, you’ll find that they are all superb at doing one thing: saying no unashamedly.

Part of what causes us to say yes to so many meaningless offers is that we don’t want to upset people. Living in this pretend world where everybody loves us causes us to become lost. Not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay. The key I’ve found is to learn to say no with respect.

By saying no respectfully, you become much better at it. That’s because the reactions you’ll get will be far more positive.

Never taking risks

Making the decisions that are always comfortable is the fastest way to screw up your life. We must grow as human beings otherwise we fall for addictions because we become bored. Life starts to lose it’s meaning when we don’t choose uncertainty.

Having the answer to every problem is not the way to go; not having the answer to every problem but taking the risky option anyway is where you want to get to. Everything I’ve achieved in my life has come from taking a chance and not knowing what could happen.

“The times I’ve personally fallen for addictions have been when I’ve become bored or stopped growing”

In this state, I’ve wanted to choose addictions to help experience some uncertainty or a high that quickly wears off and brings me crashing back to rock bottom.

Taking risks is harder than it seems. It takes practice and discipline. The beauty is that we all get options to take risks every single day. There’s no lack of risky decisions in this world. You’ve got a playground to practice in.

“Sometimes it’s fun to swing on the monkey bars of life and fall down a few times”

Taking these seemingly crazy risks opens up your perspective. From these new heights, you can see the world for what it is: a beautiful place, full of wonderful people all trying to live their purpose and find meaning.

Risk taking will eventually lead you to your individual purpose if you stay on the right path and don’t fall for comfortable results or addictions.

Allowing limiting beliefs to win

The beliefs you have will determine whether you’ll make decisions that will screw up your life. We all have limits that are caused by our beliefs. For a long time, I thought that I couldn’t be world class because I wasn’t smart enough and didn’t have the resources.

When you analyze your beliefs (and I recommend you do), you realize that they can limit you in so many ways. The reason you don’t make certain decisions is because of the underlying belief of what you believe the outcome might be.

When you remove the speed limiter that’s controlling your life, you can go in any direction you want, at whatever pace you want. You can achieve what ever you want, whenever you want. All of a sudden, anything is possible. The challenge is that your limiting beliefs are invisible to your brain.

They’re not easy to see and it takes practice to find out what they are and then throw them in the bin. It’s worth doing though because your beliefs can mess everything up. They can cause you to be broke, selfish, unlovable and very unhappy.

Not believing in yourself

“The biggest idea, the best person, the greatest tool you have, is you!”

Your life will be screwed up when you don’t believe that you can achieve your dreams. No one else can believe in you unless you do so first. You must know that you have everything inside of you to produce any outcome you desire.

Think about all the good things you have done and focus your time on that. Be grateful for how far you’ve come and then you’ll appreciate what it takes to get to the end game. Most of all, treat yourself nicely. Talk nicely to yourself and be patient.

Thinking change is a problem

Change is not a problem; it’s an opportunity. Nothing stays the same forever and to think it will is how you’ll screw up your life. When you accept that constant change is going to occur no matter what, the surprises, shocks and bumps in the road become something you look forward to.

You’ll begin to understand that every little change is the start of a new season in your life. Change becomes a challenge to keep on growing in new and wonderful directions. The strategy you’ve been searching for is hidden in the change that is right in front of you.

Change is not the problem because change is the start of the solution. Change is the first step.

Change equals uncertainty and we’ve already said that this risky place is the destination you need to aim for. It’s where the yacht is waiting for you to take you to that place you’ve always dreamt of.

Stop screwing up your life.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Life

A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

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Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape. (more…)

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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Life

​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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