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How To Make The Most Of Your Life

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I thought I’d be single, unhappy and poor forever.

Music always seemed like what I was destined to do, yet it never happened. I tried, but something didn’t work. I liked the end result. I hated the work it required due to my lack of natural talent.

What I loved most was:

1. To inspire people
2. To bring out emotion in people
3. To teach people something

I then dropped out of a business with my brother. I had it all: money, clothes, cars and a barbie doll girlfriend. Isn’t that the dream life? Absolutely no way. People thought I had lost the plot. I had.

I then joined a large organization and did the corporate thing. I took a massive pay cut and got forty-five minutes for lunch. Why would I do that? So I could find my sales personality that had been buried by all the failure and pain of not living a fulfilling life.

My corporate people leader showed me this thing called “Ted Talks.” I made a decision on that day that at some point I would be that motivational guy that inspired the pants off everyone watching. It took five years, but now I’m well on the path.

Every day, working that tough job, you couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.

All I did was to make that happen was:

1. To inspire people
2. To bring out emotion in people
3. To teach people something

My next job was an intrapreneur role within the same organization which is what I do now. There are no hard and fast rules. Sign up partnerships and help tech companies come to Australia. Sounds simple enough.

This time, I compounded the results. If people do business with people then how could I do something cool? How could I be remembered ahead of everyone else so that I could give even more value? Blogging seemed to be the answer.

It took guts because it required me to be vulnerable and get out of my comfort zone. It’s hard to lay down your entire life in front of everyone you work with and know that they are going to judge you critically. “So what” I said. It’s now or never.

The blogging allowed me to do the following:

1. To inspire people
2. To bring out emotion in people
3. To teach people something

How can you make the most of your life?

The little anecdotes above from my career show the power of these three tools. These tools can be applied to any pursuit. These tools are the secret sauce that you need to make the most of your life. Whatever is missing for you can be discovered through these three tools.

The tools allow you to go outside of yourself. I’ve found that by using these three tools, I can attract the right people in my life to help me to achieve any goal I put my mind to.

At first, my anecdotes look like stories of failure. The point of them is that nothing in your life is wasted. While I failed at a few endeavors, I learned the three driving forces in life which continued to show up in every passion I had.

Each of us will do something different in our lives, but what will always stay the same is the three tools you need to stop wasting time, and start achieving your dreams. Every time I feel like I want to grow more as a person or have more success I remember that I need to do the following:

1. To inspire people
2. To bring out emotion in people
3. To teach people something

Why couldn’t you start now?

Most of us are not doing these three things. There’s no need to throw a tantrum.

“Becoming conscious of what’s missing in your life is the first step”

Add these three tools to your current passion. If you don’t have a passion then start experimenting. You can begin to love something without even intending to. The key is to try, fail, and then try again. Eventually, like I have with blogging, you’ll find a way to use these three tools.

Small steps are the best way to start using these tools. Setting some big goal with loads of complexity will stop you from moving into action. Commit to do one small thing for each of the three tools, every fortnight. Try them out and test your results.

I forgot to mention…..

These three tools only work if you do them for more than twelve months. If you do one inspiring speech, get no reaction and then quit, you’ll never see the results. Overnight success is for the dreamers who hope to be successful one day.

Hope won’t get you there pal. Working hard using these three tools will. Put every ounce of energy you have into showing people who you are with these tools. Leave nothing on the table. Let the emotion poor out of you.

Put opinions to one side. Forget the past for a moment. Act as if you were already successful because of these tools. Tell yourself regularly that you only get one shot. You’ll never get this breath right now back again. What have you got to lose?

The influencers and leaders you idolise are just like you. They’re using these three tools and laughing at how much success they can get because of them. These three tools will allow you to soar to new heights and come from a place of love. With love, we can achieve anything.

We can inspire a nation, bring down walls and create peace for everybody who lives on planet Earth. I believe these three tools can hep you make the most of your life. Do you believe?

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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