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How to Make an Impactful Impression in the First 7 Seconds

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how to make a good first impression

Innocently making a bad first impression has happened to many of us. Not coming across as you intended can create challenges in your personal and professional life. People may mistrust you, dislike you or not even notice you. Sometimes, the fault is yours.

You know what you are feeling, what you are thinking, and you tend to believe those thoughts and emotions leaking out of every orifice of your body. You overestimate how obvious what you truly think must be and fail to recognize other people in your life are in their own bubbles, thinking the same thing about their inner worlds. This is the illusion of transparency.

Your words and behaviors are subject to interpretation. Imagine you are sitting in as an audience member and you begin staring off into space while your colleague is speaking in the meeting. Are you thinking about whether you blew the candle out before you left your house? The harsh words that you mouthed to your partner when he left you with no petrol in the car or maybe you were in deep thought about the valid example of how things need to improve in the workplace. Your colleague has no way of knowing what you are thinking in fact no one knows why you are behaving the way you are but the people around you will come to some perceived conclusion.

Rightly or wrongly, our brains are wired to respond in this way. Even more than that, people make assessments all the time unconsciously relying on your appearance, status, role and body language. Prematurely or not, the person takes it further by gathering data to make a judgement about you. The rose water colored glasses provide a lens of perception that shapes their view of you. Can they like, know and trust you?

Let me share with you 7 ways to help others draw the correct impression:

1. Project warmth

Giving the right signals early in the relationship is important. Making eye contact, smiling when appropriate and acknowledging comments, being present in conversation and listening without interruption. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Being a person of your word creates a foundation of where trust is fostered, and collaborative partnerships are formed.

“It’s pretty simple, pretty obvious: that people’s first impressions of people are really a big mistake.” – Vincent D’Onofrio

2. Overdeliver

Demonstrating how instrumental you are every opportunity is gold. Go beyond any expectation, give without being asked and detach from the outcome or wanting something in return. Have a servant’s heart.

3. We-centric culture

Building an environment where we nurture an inclusive culture, creates a strong sense of ‘us’. Celebrate the strengths and achievements of others, acknowledge the values you see in others and how the shared vision belongs to you all.

4. Revise your opinion of others

Have you ever misjudged someone by letting some kind of bias get in the way? Creating stories about why someone is behaving in a way, how wronged you have been by someone or making assumptions based on the clothes someone is wearing and where they fit in the workplace. Maybe it’s time to hit the pause button as we know that there can be a wide gap between intent and impact. Adopt a curiosity lens and come with good intentions.

5. Have proper etiquette

Your body language tells a lot about you. Sloppy time keeping, or scruffiness can be taken as signs that you are not bothered and may raise questions about your general level of commitment. Be conscientious, exude professionalism and remember you are being paid to behave in a certain way.

Handling simple expectations such as punctuality, demonstrates a level of simple responsibility. Asking quality questions and putting your hand up first to offer assistance without being asked and proposing ideas allows you to start adding value right away.

6. Show kindness

Saying thank you is so underrated. It is so important to show your colleagues appreciation when they help you out. Showing gratitude lets people know that you value their time and energy.

“We don’t know where our first impressions come from or precisely what they mean, so we don’t always appreciate their fragility.” – Malcolm Gladwell

7. 360 feedback

It is not easy to understand how other people perceive us. We are often uncertain, confused or even oblivious of what we project. In the workplace, the lack of self-awareness can be limiting. A narrative can emerge and is often shared as advice or gossip. Getting feedback how people perceive you can be a starting point. One way can be to identify 3 key people you see you repeatedly in work situations and you know will tell it to you straight.  

Ask them directly what their general perception of you is and what could you do differently that would make a difference in the workplace. Whilst receiving feedback, manage your emotions and resist the temptation to explain, defend or justify your actions. Gathering information provides an opportunity to close the gap between how people perceive you and how you want to be perceived. The choice is yours if you want to make the commitment to change.

How do you leave a great first impression? Comment below!

Angela Kambouris used to work with high risk kids in the streets of Melbourne, now she has her own consultancy business and writes for large publications. As a leadership coach and business leader having spent over 20 years in the field of vulnerability and trauma, she has built a high-level career as an executive and transitioned into a business owner. She has spoken on stages and worked with thousands of people in self-development, leadership, mindset, human behavior and business. Love to travel, experience difference cultures and mastermind with leaders and expert authorities in personal development and business all over the world. Connect with her through her website http://angelakambouris.com/ or through her Facebook.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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