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How to Identify Whether You Are A Pessimist, Optimist, Or Realist



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We all have our outlook on the world, and it can make a big difference in how we feel. Are you an optimist, pessimist, or realist? Have you ever considered what type of person you are?

In this article, I will explore what these terms mean, and why being able to identify and improve your outlook will help improve your life.

Why should you identify your outlook?

There are many benefits to being able to identify your outlook on life. Being self-aware is always a good thing because you can then make better decisions. Knowing what type of person you are can also help you better understand other people. 

The more you know about your outlook, the better you’ll be able to understand your strengths. You’ll also be able to work on improving your weaker areas.

What is a Pessimist, Optimist, or Realist?

There are many different ways to view the world around us. Some people see a glass of water as half-empty, while others see it as half full. Some will blame themselves when something bad happens, while others will automatically blame external factors.

Some can look on the bright side of things and find a silver lining in every cloud while others tend to worry about things that might never happen. Some can change their mind easily and adapt quickly to new situations. These different outlooks are often categorized as pessimism, optimism, or realism.

To define what that means, a pessimist believes that the future will be worse than the present or past. An optimist believes that the future will be better than the present or past, and a realist believes that the future might be better or worse than the present.

How to identify your outlook

A pessimist is someone who typically predicts the worst possible outcome in most situations. They always focus on the negative and look for what might go wrong instead of what might go right.

If you answered yes to 3 or more of these questions, then you might be a pessimist:

  • Do you often feel down or negative?
  • Do you find it difficult to be happy?
  • Are you always looking for the downside of every situation?
  • Do you often expect things to go wrong?

An optimist is someone who tends to expect the best possible outcome in most situations. They always focus on the positive and look for what might go right instead of what might go wrong.

If you answered yes to 3 or more of these questions, then you might be an optimist:

  • Do you consider yourself to be a happy person?
  • Do you find it easy to be positive?
  • Are you always looking on the bright side of every situation?
  • Do you often expect things to go well?

Realism is a middle ground between pessimism and optimism. Realists maintain that the glass is generally half full, yet they are ready to deal with setbacks. They make decisions based on facts, not emotions, and try to take everything into account.

If you answered yes to 3 or more of these questions, then you might be a realist:

  • Do you consider yourself to have a balanced approach to life?
  • Do you make decisions based on facts?
  • Do you tend to see the positive and negative aspects of every situation?
  • Do you expect things can either go wrong or go well depending on the situation?

Strengths and Weaknesses of Being an Optimist

Research studies have found that positive people are generally healthier and more resilient than their negative counterparts. Optimists tend to live longer, recover faster from surgery or illness, bounce back better from financial setbacks and have better social lives.

When optimists are too positive, however, it may lead to optimism bias, which could lead them to take unnecessary risks. They may underestimate the amount of time and effort required to achieve something.

Other benefits of being an optimist include being more likely to achieve their goals. Having a positive outlook also has been shown to attract other positive people into your life. Optimists are also more likely to find creative solutions to problems.

“In order to carry a positive action we must develop a positive vision” – Dalai Lama

Strengths and Weaknesses of Being a Pessimist

Being a pessimist means you are often prepared for when things go wrong. They often have a Plan B or even Plan C and are not afraid of change. Pessimists also tend to be more detail-oriented and can be very organized.

Pessimists may have low self-esteem and can be self-critical. They often see the negative side of things and believe that the future will be worse than the present or past. This outlook can prevent them from reaching their full potential and enjoying life, and can cause unnecessary stress. 

That being said, pessimists are often better prepared to handle difficult circumstances because they have learned to recognize when things aren’t as they appear. They are also less likely to be taken advantage of by others.

Strengths and Weaknesses of Being a Realist

The main benefit of identifying as a realist is that you’ll be able to see things for what they truly are and take everything into account before making a decision. Realists are generally very practical and down-to-earth people because they take everything into account before making decisions. They are often good at solving problems because they can weigh their options.

Realists are often not swayed by emotions and can be critical. They may also miss out on opportunities because they are too realistic about the risks involved.

Realists are often able to make decisions based on facts, not emotions. This makes them less likely to make mistakes and be prepared for anything that comes. They can see both the positive and negative aspects of every situation, which makes them flexible.

How to improve your outlook

The best kind of outlook would be to have a positive outlook on life, yet balanced with the practical sensibilities of a realist. This allows you to live life to the fullest while being prepared for potential setbacks. If you find that you are leaning too much to either side, it is time to make a change.

To become more optimistic, start looking for the good in every situation and train yourself to think positively. You can also practice visualization, which is the act of picturing yourself achieving your goals. Lastly, write a gratitude list and be thankful for the good things in your life, even if they are small.

To become more realistic, start taking everything into account when making big decisions and not letting your emotions get in the way. Make a list of all the positives and negatives about every situation. You can also practice mindfulness, which is the act of being aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment.

Whether you are an optimist, pessimist, realist, or somewhere in between, it’s important to realize your strengths and weaknesses. Knowing oneself and one’s skills and areas of improvement is important since it allows you to continually grow. You can always make a change and improve your outlook on life.

Chloe Teo is a writer and a Channel Sales Manager. With 9 years of B2B experience in tech, she helps businesses grow sales exponentially. Her passion is to help buyers make better purchase decisions by writing reviews about software and gadgets at In her free time, she enjoys reading, writing, and eating good food.

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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