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How To Confirm A Life Changing Decision Is The Right One

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There are times in our life where we are required to make a life changing decision that will determine our future in a big way. How do you know you have made the right decision? For me, I’ve recently had to make multiple life-changing decisions all at once, and it can sometimes seem overwhelming.

The process is far from easy and it takes every bit of energy and emotion you have to make a life-changing decision. You can become surrounded by the fear associated with your various options, although what I’ve found is that you must embrace this fear.

Use the fear to show yourself the enormity of what you’re about to commit too. Usually, fear means you’re on the right path and it’s just a matter of understanding precisely what you want and then taking action. At the same time, over thinking decisions can force you never to take action and grow unhappier by the day.

Below are the four ways you’ll know you’re making the right life-changing decision:

1. Your intuition tells you

Faced with a big decision, you’re best chance of making the right call is to listen to what your intuition tells you. Run the scenarios through your head and see which one your heart guides you towards the most.

Even try placing your hand on your heart as you do this exercise and feeling your heart beat. We are emotional beings, and our success is more reliant on our intuition than we think. Use this powerful tool to take your life on a different path.

In my own life, my intuition says to keep inspiring people even though there is no clear path to greatness just yet. The faith I have in my intuition and the results I have achieved this far are directly linked.

2. You feel it

Making a decision that changes your destiny will make you feel a certain way. You’ll find that you become more emotional, and you may even get a little teary-eyed with situations that normally have no effect on you.

Your body knows when you are about to make a big decision, and it’s up to you, to use what you feel to your advantage. Feeling is the ultimate thing we are all chasing. Our feelings are why we buy a new car, or a new house, or go on holiday; we’re chasing the feeling these things give us.

The feeling I had with my two major decisions recently caused me to have to make tough choices that would take away my so-called comfort. These decisions required me to be vulnerable and live out in the stormy weather for a bit while I regroup and get back on track towards success.

A feeling of uncertainty in these life-changing moments is fine, and it’s perfectly normal. You generally feel a tidal wave of feelings building up right before an important decision arises. When you finally make your decision, you will feel a sense of relief, but maybe not straight away.

3. Think about up until now and the future

You’ll know that you’ve made the right decision when you think back to all the events that have transpired up until now. If these events are mostly negative and don’t link up to your ideal vision for your life, then chances are you’ve made the right decision.

Then, think about the future if you don’t make this decision and take note of what you see. While going through this exercise, I saw more of the same pain that I had seen in the past. I realised that the only way to get beyond that pain was to make a very tough decision.

“The results of your life are not going to change unless you make a life-changing decision”

Of course, like any level of success, making the decision will be tough, and that’s cool bananas. Know that the present way you feel right after making a decision won’t last forever.

4. Ask yourself what the best case looks like

To tap into whether you’re making the right decision, ask yourself “what does the best case look like if I don’t make this decision?” The image you get in your mind will give you a good indication as to what the right decision is.

If the image makes you feel unfulfilled, or your not excited about it, then there’s a good chance that you are settling for second best. Life is too short to settle for second best.

Some points to remember once you’ve made your decision

So let’s assume you’ve made the tough decision- what next? Well, it’s now time to look beyond the decision and remember a few basic truths.

1. Remember that hard times don’t last forever 

It’s not difficult for your mind to make you think that hard times will last forever. This idea is rubbish, and you have to tell yourself that on a regular basis. Winter doesn’t last forever, and before you know it, summer will be back, and you’ll be back at your best again.

The only way we grow is to experience some significant pain once in a while. Think of your tough decision as another layer of muscle for your emotional intelligence that you can draw upon whenever you need to.

2. Look forward to a new beginning

I’ve found that rather than focus on the past, the best way to move forward is to visualise what your new beginning might look like. Maybe it’s the fresh air in the country that you move to or the new partner that makes you happier than everyone before them.

Focus your attention away from events that have already occurred, and onto more positive thoughts around the new outstanding life that you have guaranteed yourself by being vulnerable, and embracing your fear.

Many people avoid fear like the plague, but by making this bold decision, you have the opportunity to be one of the few that can use it for your own benefit, and for the benefit of those you touch.

3. Look forward to new people, friends, and mentors

Making a challenging decision gives you the gift of new situations. Along with these new situations comes the chance to meet many new people who could become your friends, lover, mentor, etc. Without making a tough decision, you may never have met these new people who could change the course of your life’s journey for the better.

“Think about all the people that inspire you and then use your tough decision to bring you closer to these people. Become relentless at being around people that lift you up and inspire you”

Know that you deserve these people in your life just as much as the next person. Remember though that these people can only show up if you are bold, and take action.

***Final thought***

In the end, the only person that knows if a tough decision is right is you. I’ve really battled with this whole process for a while, and I’ve only recently found clarity by embracing the points I’ve raised in this post.

You can become anything you want; you just have to get out of your own way, stand up tall, and be prepared to face into the hardest decisions that society tends to avoid. I have faith in you, and I’m sure you’ll make the right decision if you use what I’ve talked about as part of your strategy to conquer any obstacle that shows up.

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever made and what did you learn from it? Let me know on my website timdenning.net and my Facebook.

Aussie Blogger with 500M+ views — Writer for CNBC & Business Insider. Inspiring the world through Personal Development and Entrepreneurship You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.com

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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