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How To Confirm A Life Changing Decision Is The Right One

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There are times in our life where we are required to make a life changing decision that will determine our future in a big way. How do you know you have made the right decision? For me, I’ve recently had to make multiple life-changing decisions all at once, and it can sometimes seem overwhelming.

The process is far from easy and it takes every bit of energy and emotion you have to make a life-changing decision. You can become surrounded by the fear associated with your various options, although what I’ve found is that you must embrace this fear.

Use the fear to show yourself the enormity of what you’re about to commit too. Usually, fear means you’re on the right path and it’s just a matter of understanding precisely what you want and then taking action. At the same time, over thinking decisions can force you never to take action and grow unhappier by the day.

Below are the four ways you’ll know you’re making the right life-changing decision:

1. Your intuition tells you

Faced with a big decision, you’re best chance of making the right call is to listen to what your intuition tells you. Run the scenarios through your head and see which one your heart guides you towards the most.

Even try placing your hand on your heart as you do this exercise and feeling your heart beat. We are emotional beings, and our success is more reliant on our intuition than we think. Use this powerful tool to take your life on a different path.

In my own life, my intuition says to keep inspiring people even though there is no clear path to greatness just yet. The faith I have in my intuition and the results I have achieved this far are directly linked.

2. You feel it

Making a decision that changes your destiny will make you feel a certain way. You’ll find that you become more emotional, and you may even get a little teary-eyed with situations that normally have no effect on you.

Your body knows when you are about to make a big decision, and it’s up to you, to use what you feel to your advantage. Feeling is the ultimate thing we are all chasing. Our feelings are why we buy a new car, or a new house, or go on holiday; we’re chasing the feeling these things give us.

The feeling I had with my two major decisions recently caused me to have to make tough choices that would take away my so-called comfort. These decisions required me to be vulnerable and live out in the stormy weather for a bit while I regroup and get back on track towards success.

A feeling of uncertainty in these life-changing moments is fine, and it’s perfectly normal. You generally feel a tidal wave of feelings building up right before an important decision arises. When you finally make your decision, you will feel a sense of relief, but maybe not straight away.

3. Think about up until now and the future

You’ll know that you’ve made the right decision when you think back to all the events that have transpired up until now. If these events are mostly negative and don’t link up to your ideal vision for your life, then chances are you’ve made the right decision.

Then, think about the future if you don’t make this decision and take note of what you see. While going through this exercise, I saw more of the same pain that I had seen in the past. I realised that the only way to get beyond that pain was to make a very tough decision.

“The results of your life are not going to change unless you make a life-changing decision”

Of course, like any level of success, making the decision will be tough, and that’s cool bananas. Know that the present way you feel right after making a decision won’t last forever.

4. Ask yourself what the best case looks like

To tap into whether you’re making the right decision, ask yourself “what does the best case look like if I don’t make this decision?” The image you get in your mind will give you a good indication as to what the right decision is.

If the image makes you feel unfulfilled, or your not excited about it, then there’s a good chance that you are settling for second best. Life is too short to settle for second best.

Some points to remember once you’ve made your decision

So let’s assume you’ve made the tough decision- what next? Well, it’s now time to look beyond the decision and remember a few basic truths.

1. Remember that hard times don’t last forever 

It’s not difficult for your mind to make you think that hard times will last forever. This idea is rubbish, and you have to tell yourself that on a regular basis. Winter doesn’t last forever, and before you know it, summer will be back, and you’ll be back at your best again.

The only way we grow is to experience some significant pain once in a while. Think of your tough decision as another layer of muscle for your emotional intelligence that you can draw upon whenever you need to.

2. Look forward to a new beginning

I’ve found that rather than focus on the past, the best way to move forward is to visualise what your new beginning might look like. Maybe it’s the fresh air in the country that you move to or the new partner that makes you happier than everyone before them.

Focus your attention away from events that have already occurred, and onto more positive thoughts around the new outstanding life that you have guaranteed yourself by being vulnerable, and embracing your fear.

Many people avoid fear like the plague, but by making this bold decision, you have the opportunity to be one of the few that can use it for your own benefit, and for the benefit of those you touch.

3. Look forward to new people, friends, and mentors

Making a challenging decision gives you the gift of new situations. Along with these new situations comes the chance to meet many new people who could become your friends, lover, mentor, etc. Without making a tough decision, you may never have met these new people who could change the course of your life’s journey for the better.

“Think about all the people that inspire you and then use your tough decision to bring you closer to these people. Become relentless at being around people that lift you up and inspire you”

Know that you deserve these people in your life just as much as the next person. Remember though that these people can only show up if you are bold, and take action.

***Final thought***

In the end, the only person that knows if a tough decision is right is you. I’ve really battled with this whole process for a while, and I’ve only recently found clarity by embracing the points I’ve raised in this post.

You can become anything you want; you just have to get out of your own way, stand up tall, and be prepared to face into the hardest decisions that society tends to avoid. I have faith in you, and I’m sure you’ll make the right decision if you use what I’ve talked about as part of your strategy to conquer any obstacle that shows up.

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever made and what did you learn from it? Let me know on my website timdenning.net and my Facebook.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship.You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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7 Comments

7 Comments

  1. Shawn

    Aug 22, 2016 at 2:02 pm

    Hey Tim, I can understand your feeling.
    It happened to me early this year when I decided to go full-time into the world of internet marketing.
    Even though I’m not making much money right now, but I’m glad I made that decision.
    It has been 8 months and I’m still working hard for my dreams.
    Well, I do hope that I can accomplish more and achieve my targets faster.
    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  2. Evan

    Aug 18, 2016 at 6:55 am

    Hey Tim,

    Another great post! Here you outline two major points in the beginning about intuition and feeling. These points also help when selling things to people that they’d value. I think it’s a really important thing for most people to go through, although some others are very logical and intellectually weigh out their decisions. It all depends on the person, and some are simply not “feelers”

    I know I’m more on the feeling side of things, being and ENFJ, but I know it’s also important to weigh the logical side. When I read the 4HWW for the first time, Tim Ferriss said something very important. I was about to drop out of college and fly across the world to build online businesses and his advice was to weigh the WORST possible case scenario and if you could get your way out of it. I know you outlined the best case, and either one could be helpful depending on the situation.

    Great work again man!

    – Evan

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 18, 2016 at 8:18 pm

      Evan thanks for taking the time to comment. Your own personal story is very interesting and Tim Ferris is definitely a great mentor to have. I agree that knowing the worst case scenario is quite important. At least for you, it all worked out and you got to do what you love in the end which matters more than anything. Speak soon my friend.

  3. Omer

    Aug 18, 2016 at 3:43 am

    Dude

    It’s like the universe sent you to write this post for me (-: lol

    Strangely but magically on spot for me! I appreciate you and your writing my friend I love your content.

    Keep inspiring the world.
    Cheers legend

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 21, 2016 at 2:38 am

      Thanks Omer for the kind words I’m glad you like the post.

  4. Toño

    Aug 17, 2016 at 5:36 am

    Wow Tim. the timing of this article is as perfect, as pictures you brought in 🙂 I needed this as I am too facing some uncertainty and at the same time, new perspective to change my life. As we embrace synchronicity we tend to stumble upon some events in a similar path, which is cool.

    I like your view on pain and I also think is the catalyst for many goodies in our life because of the core experience of so-called ‘bad’ we can understand the meaning of ‘good’ (basically there’re no good/bad things, everything is naturally neutral, but I have to use it).

    Recently I come to realize many things, while I’m practicing my awareness or meditating, so yesterday while cleaning my house I realized one very important thing that been chasing be for my I would say entire life. For the last good part of my being, I tend to think I am a perfectionist, who like to crave for every single detail and be extremely unsatisfied when things don’t go the path I want. Even though, some of that may be true, however, it was not the case. Most of my life I refused the inner essence of change. I believed some things will stay the same forever and I attached my thoughts to those believe so strong nothing could shatter it. I had strong association thus it’s whether I got my OCD ‘illness’ in the past and basically what was the core reason for it to show me I need to change this.

    It’s amazing how persistent and hard I worked in order to rock those beliefs. And how hard I have to work now to change them 😀 Those theory of mini-born after waking up, each of us is a new person every day, as we start a new path, some little, some big, nothing will stay the same, and it is ever changing living and breathing world that smiles upon us while we are struggling to see the whole awesomeness of it 😀

    You always moving, whether it’s forward or backward, even when you do nothing you still going somewhere. Your bravery is an example of your strength Tim, and discomfort, little pain or doubt won’t stop I am pretty sure about it. It’s usually quite hard at the beginning and the most important thing is do not quit. I started to see changes in my consciousness as I feel better after adopting a new lifestyle. I began to embrace positivity, motivation and self-belief no matter what and my mind and body slowly getting used to it. Sure some day I feel like quit, turn on the TV I haven’t watched since last year and indulge in my weaknesses, but what good will it do? My mind has been conditioned to fit that rat race, wage slavery and matrix lifestyle, but once I woke up I turned all the crap off and now I’m a new man, every day with a new sense and purpose of life. You are the same, my friend, no matter what, you here to inspire and lead an example of greatness, happiness, and clarity. You’ll succeed I believe it, I know it and you know it as well. Basically, you already won 🙂

    It was much-needed article Tim and I am grateful for that! Stay strong on your journey, we are all together here for each other. Have a great day, much love!

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 18, 2016 at 8:23 pm

      Toño I’m glad you liked the photos. Its amazing how things happen in our life just as we need them to happen although a lot of that thinking comes down to the mindset you have created. I agree with you that everything is neutral and we give everything it’s meaning and pop a label on it. You have some very empowering beliefs but changing the ones that don’t serve you can be hard. It’s not impossible though.

      Keep focusing on where you can improve and don’t give up on your goals. Remember that the software of our minds is millions of years old and we are not designed to be happy. We need to put in hours of work to upgrade our software to one that allows us to be fulfilled and the mind is tricky to change.

      Thanks for reading Toño and stay healthy mate!

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Life

How 8 Minutes of Meditation Can Give You the Productivity Boost You Need

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Of all the productivity hacks I’ve tried over the years, none has had as much of a positive impact relative to the time I put in than meditation. Just 8 minutes per day to be precise. Meditation is a practice that has been around for centuries. Once primarily used by practitioners of Buddhism to reach a higher level of consciousness, science has since shown it has a lot of more earthly benefits as well.

As Healthline reports, meditation improves concentration, reduces fatigue and stress, brings a sense of relaxation and improves sleep patterns, among other benefits. All the above reasons explain why some of the most successful people rely on meditation to thrive in their professions. Jeff Weiner, former Yahoo executive and the current CEO of Linkedin says that meditation has made a huge positive impact on his productivity. Similarly,  Ray Dalio, who is the founder of Bridgewater Associates, attributes a big part of his success to meditation.

5 Ways Meditation Helps with Productivity

Before I get to my own meditation routine that takes just 8 minutes of my time daily, let me first go over in general how meditation can give you a huge leg up in your career and business, backed by studies.

1. Improves Your Attention Span

There are tons of factors that improve productivity, but one that plays a very important role is the ability to focus. Being attentive enough to complete the task at hand means you’ll finish your work with higher accuracy and better efficiency.

According to Pubmed, several studies have shown the efficacy of meditation in reversing parts of the brain that cause mind wandering and the inability to concentrate. Russell Simmons, the CEO of Rush Communications, says that meditation is one of the things that has helped him focus the most.

2. Increases Neuroplasticity

For a long time, scientists believed that brain development only happened during childhood and then ceased. But recent discovery regarding the neuroplastic nature of the brain concludes that our brains actually continue to change and adapt through experiences. In other words, the brain is continually reorganizing itself by creating new neurons and new connections.

Meditation is one practice capable of changing your brain’s structure and functions. In fact, Harvard Researchers at MGH have shown that meditation increases grey matter volume in your brain. What this means is that it causes more neurons to accumulate in one space.

Another theory that explains how meditation boosts neuroplasticity is that it increases cerebral blood flow (CBF). By placing you in a state of relaxation, blood is able to flow more freely leading to better oxygenation and nourishment in your brain. With increased neuroplasticity, your ability to acquire new skills and positive habits increase.

3. Sharpens Your Memory

A major benefit of mediation is that it boosts one’s working memory capacity. The working memory determines how much information the central nervous system can hold and process at any time. It’s like the Random Access Memory in a computer.

A study was done to investigate the effect of active meditation on individuals’ working memory capacities. Researchers had the participants take part in a 45-minute meditation exercise twice per week. After a couple of weeks, they recorded the results and discovered that the respondents’ working memory capacities had increased by more than 30%. Put simply; they could hold and process 30% more information than the average person.

The study proved that meditating increases the working memory capacity. With a larger working memory, you can take on more sophisticated tasks and handle them efficiently.

4. Improves Cognitive Thinking

As you age, your cognitive functioning deteriorates gradually. The resulting deficit weakens your ability to reason, remember and process information. All these are factors that can make you less productive at work and in other areas of your life. Good news is, practising meditation and mindfulness can help with that.

To examine the impact of meditation on cognitive function, researchers from the University of California at Santa Barbara conducted a study. They asked 48 undergraduate students to attend one of two classes: a nutrition class or a mindfulness class. The result? Those who attended the mindfulness class saw marked improvements in their exams afterwards, while the nutrition group saw no statistically significant improvements.

One factor that can explain this outcome is that meditation improves the balance of the left and right sides of the brain. Synchronizing both brain hemispheres allows for greater processing power and neural communication.

5. Reduces Stress

Stress is something that people experience on a daily basis, and more so at work. According to the American Institute of Stress, work-induced stress is the most common form of stress. Based on a recent survey they did, at least 80% of Americans experienced stress at work, hampering productivity and leading to mistakes.

Thankfully, having a meditation practice as part of your routine can lower stress and make you more productive. It goes beyond just stress reduction, however. According to the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, meditation has been shown to reduce the symptoms of social anxiety, paranoid thoughts, obsessive-compulsive behaviors and panic attacks.

How 8 Minutes of Meditation Daily Has Changed My Life

My personal journey with meditation has been nothing short of life changing. What if I told you there was a productivity hack that only required 8 minutes of your day, and as a consequence, will double your attention span, mental stamina, and ability to function under stress? What if I told you, thanks to just 8 minutes a day, a once self diagnosed ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) sufferer now frequently loses track of time as he ticks off one item after the next on his daily to-do lists? Yes, that’s what meditation has done for me, and I believe it can do that for anyone.

The meditation routine I follow is based on the best selling book “8 Minute Meditation” by Victor Davich. As a meditation guru, Victor sought out to devise a meditation program that fits in with the ultra busy lifestyles of Westerners while still delivering the main benefits the practice at its fullest provides.

Here is the gist of the “8 minute meditation” that I practice every day right before I go to bed:

  • Set a timer for 8 minutes.
  • Find a comfortable sitting pose. This could be in a cozy meditation chair or sitting with your legs crossed on a yoga mat
  • Close your eyes slowly as if you were planning to sleep. Avoid squeezing them or shutting them involuntarily.
  • Next, start taking slow, deep breaths.
  • With every inhale, envision that you are breathing in light. Follow the light as it enters your body.
  • With every exhale, imagine breathing out all the tension and negativity that you have been harbouring. Relax every muscle from those on your face, chest, back, legs all the way to the tips of your toes.
  • As you breathe in and out, your mind will most likely start to wonder. Do not get upset. Just slowly bring your awareness back to your breathing. Imagine catching a fish and just letting it go.
  • Continue this until the timer goes off. Then, slowly open your eyes again..

A big part of the magic happens in meditation when you do it consistently. For me, with every day of practice, my ability to stay focused on my breathing and stay present increased during those critical 8 minutes. And as my ability to do those seemingly simple things improved, that’s when I started to notice all the tangible benefits of meditation I mentioned earlier.

Meditation is not a new concept. And it doesn’t require you to invest anything that you don’t already have. This is one of the greatest benefits of meditating; it doesn’t require any special equipment or registration for training. Essentially, you have nothing to lose but so much to gain. To me, meditation dare i say is the greatest productivity hack of all time.

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5 Life Lessons You Can Learn From Hitting Rock Bottom

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At one time, the term rock bottom was completely foreign to me. I can remember feeling really bad for anyone who claimed to have ‘hit rock bottom.’ What devastation they must feel. Their whole world must have just collapsed. How will they go on? I was soon to find out.

My journey to rock bottom

I’m not gonna say I had it all but for the most part, my world was pretty good. It wasn’t perfect and I’ll admit, I was sailing through on a song and a prayer. I lived in a nice house in a posh neighbourhood with my partner and in 2010 I purchased my first business, a hair salon.

I belonged to an amazing networking group of successful women. I was well respected in the community and had lots of friends. You could say my life was pretty good. However, this didn’t last for long.

Three years after the purchase of the salon I closed the doors and declared bankruptcy. Six months after bankruptcy, I walked out of my abusive relationship with nothing to my name.

I was a shell of a person. I had nothing and in my eyes, I was a complete and utter failure. At 52 years old, my whole world came crashing down on me and I for the first time in my life, was absolutely terrified.

I walked around in a daze for months. I was completely empty inside, both emotionally and mentally. I had no desire to rebuild my life. There was little life left in me to work on. I secured my old job at the salon I was at prior to my business purchase. Every day I had to face people who I’m sure were disappointed in me and most likely laughing at me behind my back.

I was a loser. They knew it and so did I. When you hit rock bottom, any and all self respect and self confidence you ever had goes right out the window. You’re constantly embarrassed and feel worthless all the time. However, one day something snaps when you look in the mirror and can’t stand to look at the person looking back at you. This is without a shadow of a doubt the moment some confidence and hope arises to change.

I looked in the mirror one day and I didn’t recognize the person staring back. She was sad, empty, blank and lifeless. This wasn’t Iva and I so desperately wanted her back. I missed the optimistic, bubbly and outgoing girl that used to stare back at me in the mirror. And I was determined to get her back.

I had reached a point where I was tired of crying and feeling sorry for myself. I was tired of telling myself I was a loser and a failure and that I would never amount to anything. But I was mostly tired of just existing with no purpose or passion.

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” – J.K. Rowling

The climb out of rock bottom

I started devouring self help books and reading any and all blogs I could on how to get your life back on track and how to find self love and self worth again. I read inspirational quotes and listened to motivational YouTube videos day in and day out. I journaled and cried and prayed and meditated. All the things I have never done in my life, I was doing daily without fail.

Slowly, Iva was emerging but she was so much different this time around. She had hope, faith and determination and nothing was going to stop her or stand in her way of rebuilding her life. My journey out of rock bottom took almost a full year to complete but in that time, I learned so much about myself, people and life.

Here are the 5 life lessons I learned from hitting rock bottom:

1. Failure isn’t real

There’s no such thing as failure. I’m not even sure why this word exists. You had an idea or a plan, tried it, and it didn’t work. You learn lessons from this and you move on. Always remember one very important thing: you tried. Most people don’t even bother. Believe in yourself.

2. You’re not stuck anywhere

If something isn’t working or isn’t good for you, leave it. I was terrified to leave my abusive relationship because I knew it meant I would lose everything. And I did. When I finally took the plunge and left, everything in my life changed for the better. Have faith!

3. Change is fun and scary, but do it anyway

Although change is terrifying, it’s necessary. We don’t grow in our comfort zone or in our misery. Sometimes you have to do things that will scare the daylights out of you..do them anyway. This is where you learn and grow. You meet people and you experience things you never would have if you stayed in your comfort zone. Take the leap.

“To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” – Winston Churchill

4. Everything is temporary

The good and the bad. Nothing is forever. No matter how horrible your situation is, it won’t last. It will eventually go away or maybe even turn out great! Embrace all the good life has to offer you and learn the lessons the bad will give you. Have patience.

5. You have great power over your life

I was determined to change my life any way I had to. I did whatever I had to do to turn my life around. Was it easy? No. Is it impossible? No. I knew I had the power to change and it was up to me, and only me, to do that. No one could do it for me.

No matter where you are in your life right now, if things aren’t working out the way you expected, don’t worry. Things will always get better if you try to make them better. You can do anything you want. All you have to do is find the power that’s in you and unleash it.

Have you ever hit rock bottom? What advice do you have for someone who’s there? Share your ideas and advice below!

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9 Personal Growth Lessons I Learned From Being Bullied

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Wherever I went, bullying seemed to follow me. Whether it was school, work or even family, I could never seem to find any kind of escape. For years, I was stuck in the victim mindset, constantly asking myself what I did to deserve this kind of behaviour towards me. I decided to turn my struggle into a personal growth strategy to help others who might be silently struggling with what I did.

Here are some of the key personal growth lessons I learnt from my harrowing experiences:

1. Be the victim

Be the victim but put an early as possible expiration date on this. Realise that it is okay to feel sorry for yourself; it is okay to validate yourself by reinforcing the fact that you didn’t deserve what happened to you. This will help you give yourself the compassion that you need in that moment. Recognition of the hurt and validation are the first steps towards starting the healing process, but the key is not to hang around there for too long otherwise you will be stuck with a victim mentality.

2. Why?

This is a question that is often asked – why did this happen to me? Were the stars misaligned or is this karma for sneaking the last doughnut from the party? Rather than getting bogged down analysing why you went through the harrowing experience, focus on what you learnt from the experience. Sometimes, it can be something as simple as finding your voice and setting boundaries. Every difficult situation offers an opportunity to learn.

3. Focus on the lesson, not on the pain

Whenever faced with a tough situation, ask yourself, “What am I learning from this?” Often, when drowning in dire circumstances, we cannot see light and we fear that any light might be an oncoming train. The best way to deal with this fear and overwhelm is to refocus your thoughts. Oftentimes, the lesson falls under one of the following categories: perseverance, patience, consistency and my personal favourite – staying true to who you are.

4. Control the controllable

Within every difficult situation, there are always factors you can control: your responses, your disposition and your actions. Using what you can control, redirect your energy on what you CAN do instead of what you can’t do. Sometimes, what you can do is simply getting through your day and giving everything you can. This helps in building self-confidence and self-esteem.

“Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” – Steve Maraboli

5. You do you

It is a normal human desire to be liked by those around us. Avoid trying to change who you are based on what others say about you. It is very tempting to do this because we all want to feel accepted and want to feel that we belong. The more you do you, the more you will attract people who love you for the “real” you.

6. It is not about you

When people criticize you incessantly, recognise that they are battling their own demons and they are easily triggered. You are not the real reason for their hurtful behaviour, they are filled with fear, anger and hurt which they vent out to others. You can only give what you have and if fear, anger and hurt is all you have, it is the only place from which you will function.

7. You have the power to choose

It is easy to forget that we always have the power of our choices and decisions, while our circumstances may be overwhelming, we can still make wise choices so as not to become victims of our circumstances. We should never forget this power as this is what keeps us afloat and breathing when caught in a flood of difficulties.

8. Revenge is not the answer

While it is perfectly normal and human to wish revenge on those who have hurt us, it is crucial to note that what we wish upon others, mirrors back to us. Wishing your culprits to battle incessant sneezing while stuck in traffic controlling explosive diarrhea might give a moment of satisfaction, but is this something you are willing to risk mirroring back to you? I certainly am not. Put quite simply – negativity breeds negativity while positivity breeds positivity. Remember, you have the power to choose.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

9. Forgive

Don’t gasp so loudly. Yes, forgive those who have hurt you. Why? It definitely doesn’t absolve them of the hurt they caused you, but it releases you from the chains of negativity that are binding and rooting you in place preventing you from moving on. How do you forgive? Ask whatever higher power you believe in to filter those who have hurt you out of your life, sending them blessings and healing wherever they may need it in their lives while also blessing over positive outcomes for all of you.

I have used this technique personally and I swear by it. Sending blessings and healing while asking for positive outcomes, results in all these wonderful things happening to you as well. Giving what you have mirrors back to you. You have the power to forgive, let go and move on. This is a choice that you also happen to have the power to choose.

The next time you feel stuck and overwhelmed by your circumstances, revisit these personal growth lessons and apply them to your unique situation. You will be glad that you did.


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6 Reasons Why You Should Never Glorify Failure After You’ve Failed

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Many people are ashamed of failure. If they so much as smell a whiff of failure, they quit instantly because the public notices it quickly. But you shouldn’t be ashamed of failure. A lot of people have failed. I’ve failed over and over again in my career, business, relationships and more. Yet, I keep trying because failure isn’t the final verdict. (more…)

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