There are times in our life where we are required to make a life changing decision that will determine our future in a big way. How do you know you have made the right decision? For me, I’ve recently had to make multiple life-changing decisions all at once, and it can sometimes seem overwhelming.
The process is far from easy and it takes every bit of energy and emotion you have to make a life-changing decision. You can become surrounded by the fear associated with your various options, although what I’ve found is that you must embrace this fear.
Use the fear to show yourself the enormity of what you’re about to commit too. Usually, fear means you’re on the right path and it’s just a matter of understanding precisely what you want and then taking action. At the same time, over thinking decisions can force you never to take action and grow unhappier by the day.
Below are the four ways you’ll know you’re making the right life-changing decision:
1. Your intuition tells you
Faced with a big decision, you’re best chance of making the right call is to listen to what your intuition tells you. Run the scenarios through your head and see which one your heart guides you towards the most.
Even try placing your hand on your heart as you do this exercise and feeling your heart beat. We are emotional beings, and our success is more reliant on our intuition than we think. Use this powerful tool to take your life on a different path.
In my own life, my intuition says to keep inspiring people even though there is no clear path to greatness just yet. The faith I have in my intuition and the results I have achieved this far are directly linked.
2. You feel it
Making a decision that changes your destiny will make you feel a certain way. You’ll find that you become more emotional, and you may even get a little teary-eyed with situations that normally have no effect on you.
Your body knows when you are about to make a big decision, and it’s up to you, to use what you feel to your advantage. Feeling is the ultimate thing we are all chasing. Our feelings are why we buy a new car, or a new house, or go on holiday; we’re chasing the feeling these things give us.
The feeling I had with my two major decisions recently caused me to have to make tough choices that would take away my so-called comfort. These decisions required me to be vulnerable and live out in the stormy weather for a bit while I regroup and get back on track towards success.
A feeling of uncertainty in these life-changing moments is fine, and it’s perfectly normal. You generally feel a tidal wave of feelings building up right before an important decision arises. When you finally make your decision, you will feel a sense of relief, but maybe not straight away.
3. Think about up until now and the future
You’ll know that you’ve made the right decision when you think back to all the events that have transpired up until now. If these events are mostly negative and don’t link up to your ideal vision for your life, then chances are you’ve made the right decision.
Then, think about the future if you don’t make this decision and take note of what you see. While going through this exercise, I saw more of the same pain that I had seen in the past. I realised that the only way to get beyond that pain was to make a very tough decision.
“The results of your life are not going to change unless you make a life-changing decision”
Of course, like any level of success, making the decision will be tough, and that’s cool bananas. Know that the present way you feel right after making a decision won’t last forever.
4. Ask yourself what the best case looks like
To tap into whether you’re making the right decision, ask yourself “what does the best case look like if I don’t make this decision?” The image you get in your mind will give you a good indication as to what the right decision is.
If the image makes you feel unfulfilled, or your not excited about it, then there’s a good chance that you are settling for second best. Life is too short to settle for second best.
Some points to remember once you’ve made your decision
So let’s assume you’ve made the tough decision- what next? Well, it’s now time to look beyond the decision and remember a few basic truths.
1. Remember that hard times don’t last forever
It’s not difficult for your mind to make you think that hard times will last forever. This idea is rubbish, and you have to tell yourself that on a regular basis. Winter doesn’t last forever, and before you know it, summer will be back, and you’ll be back at your best again.
The only way we grow is to experience some significant pain once in a while. Think of your tough decision as another layer of muscle for your emotional intelligence that you can draw upon whenever you need to.
2. Look forward to a new beginning
I’ve found that rather than focus on the past, the best way to move forward is to visualise what your new beginning might look like. Maybe it’s the fresh air in the country that you move to or the new partner that makes you happier than everyone before them.
Focus your attention away from events that have already occurred, and onto more positive thoughts around the new outstanding life that you have guaranteed yourself by being vulnerable, and embracing your fear.
Many people avoid fear like the plague, but by making this bold decision, you have the opportunity to be one of the few that can use it for your own benefit, and for the benefit of those you touch.
3. Look forward to new people, friends, and mentors
Making a challenging decision gives you the gift of new situations. Along with these new situations comes the chance to meet many new people who could become your friends, lover, mentor, etc. Without making a tough decision, you may never have met these new people who could change the course of your life’s journey for the better.
“Think about all the people that inspire you and then use your tough decision to bring you closer to these people. Become relentless at being around people that lift you up and inspire you”
Know that you deserve these people in your life just as much as the next person. Remember though that these people can only show up if you are bold, and take action.
In the end, the only person that knows if a tough decision is right is you. I’ve really battled with this whole process for a while, and I’ve only recently found clarity by embracing the points I’ve raised in this post.
You can become anything you want; you just have to get out of your own way, stand up tall, and be prepared to face into the hardest decisions that society tends to avoid. I have faith in you, and I’m sure you’ll make the right decision if you use what I’ve talked about as part of your strategy to conquer any obstacle that shows up.
What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever made and what did you learn from it? Let me know on my website timdenning.net and my Facebook.
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You just invested in yourself and in your business. You are taking massive action but the results are just not clicking yet. While everyone is making 10X, 20X, and even 100X ROI on their initial investment, you have made $0 return. Failure is starting to overcast your bright shining positive attitude and you are feeling the pain and shame of it. (more…)
3 Simple Hacks That Can Recharge Your Willpower and Help You Perform Better at Work
How many times did you wake up feeling like you could conquer the world? You set ambitious goals for the day, you put on your best attire and walked out the door with a big smile on your face but eventually, life took over. Traffic, emails, work, family, and everything else you have around slowly but steadily started to drain your energy and made you feel exhausted.
You run out of battery, and the only solution that seemed viable was to rely on more caffeine. When that stopped working, all the temptations around you started to look much more appealing, and that sense of drive and commitment you had before slowly faded away. This is you running out of willpower.
Willpower: what is it? Why is it limited?
The American Psychology Association describes willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In the book “The Willpower Instinct”, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, explains how every person’s willpower is limited, and slowly depletes throughout the day. The more “willpower challenges” you face, the quicker your reserve drains. Dr. McGonigal divided the different types of willpower challenges you might encounter in three categories:
- I will: We face this type of challenge whenever we should do something, but we simply don’t feel like getting it done right now.
- I won’t: We face this challenge when we try to resist temptation, or we try to keep cool in stressful situations.
- I want: This is a particular type of challenge where we keep track of our long term goals, dreams, and desires. In this instance, we feel like we should take action right now to come one step closer to the goal.
It’s easy to recognize it when you face a willpower challenge because you literally “feel it in your body.” Imagine being really hungry and walking in front of a bakery. The sight and the smell of pastries quickly triggers an “I won’t” type of challenge, and it takes a severe amount of effort and energy to walk away.
Every time you manage to win one of those challenges, a little bit of your willpower reserve gets used. The more challenges you face daily, the harder it will be to stay true to your goals.
Can you train or recharge your willpower?
A growing body of research suggests that willpower should be considered a muscle. To strengthen it, you should exercise it regularly, but you should not overwork it. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to “be good” at all times. Instead, we should learn how to relax and recharge our willpower.
The general advice on how to improve willpower involves sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. This broad and general recommendation is often not downright applicable by most, because it consists of changing various daily habits. Luckily, three very effective hacks have been discovered, that have an immediate effect on our willpower and take just a few minutes to apply.
Here are the 3 ways to refill your willpower reserves:
1. Focused breathing
Breathing, when done correctly, can stimulate the release of calming hormones while reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and catecholamines. To make this effective, you should deeply and slowly inhale through the nose for at least five seconds. Fill your belly with air first, then your chest, and when there’s no more space for air, still try to do tiny inhalations through the nose.
You should feel a pulling sensation around your neck and trapezius muscles. Once your lungs are full, try to hold the breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale through the mouth for at least five seconds. If you repeat this process ten to twenty times, you should feel dramatically more relaxed. Use this method several times a day, especially when you’re experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety.
2. Reward yourself when you accomplish a micro goal
According to a recent study, frequent instant rewards can boost motivation, and therefore, willpower. Creating your own reward system can help you to accomplish your to-do list, and also resist temptations. Since every individual has different tastes, you should come up with creative ideas about the small and frequent rewards you will give yourself upon winning any willpower challenge.
You can see this hack in practice in Apps like the popular Duolinguo, where after completing each lesson you get presented with a chance to open a treasure chest. This rewarding system seems to keep the users much more likely to keep learning new lessons.
Your body has an autonomic response to cold water. Getting into a cold shower is a difficult (but minor) willpower challenge on its own. As I previously mentioned, winning a willpower challenge strengthens your willpower muscle. Having a morning cold shower, on top of having multiple health benefits, will set you up for a positive winning streak of further challenges.
High performance is the sum of many small habits. Successful people don’t have an unlimited reserve of willpower, but they do have a set of daily rituals that made them succeed. These three hacks are some of the most effective techniques to develop willpower, but some of them may not fit every individual. You should try to find the perfect mix of daily practices that best fits your lifestyle and likes, so that you can strengthen your willpower muscle and perform better at work.
3 Inspiring Lessons We Can Learn From Jim Carrey About the Law of Attraction
You’ve more than likely heard of Jim Carrey before. Over the years, he has starred in many popular films including The Truman Show, The Mask, and Bruce Almighty (just to name a few.)
But his personality goes a lot deeper than just his comedic persona and movie star charisma. In fact, Jim Carrey is probably one of the most philosophical individuals on the planet!
Although he isn’t in the spotlight as much anymore, throughout the years, he has credited his success and fortunes by applying the Law of attraction into his life. What’s even more inspiring is that Jim Carrey, like you and I, came from humble beginnings. No silver spoon or easy ticket. In fact, his family was very poor throughout his childhood. So what made him so successful in attracting such an extravagant and self-fulfilling life?
Here are 3 lessons you can learn from Jim Carrey when it comes to manifesting your dreams into a reality:
1. You Have To Take Action
“You can’t just visualize then go eat a sandwich”, Jim Carrey says. It goes without saying that the law of attraction does require action. You cannot simply rely on visualizing and expect to see results, especially when it comes to manifesting desires that other people would like to achieve also. E.g. Careers, scholarships, competitions, anything that involves another individual.
Visualization and positive thinking are crucial when it comes to using the law of attraction, but you have to meet the universe halfway with the steps you take as well. We are physical beings that require physical steps to get physical results. The real key is to make daily plans/goals in order to get you closer towards achieving your desires. So after that sandwich, make sure start taking action toward your dreams!
This could be working on your hobbies or passion, applying for that dream job or studying to get better grades. As long as you are moving toward your goals then there’s no reason why it can’t happen. So get out there and kick some butt.
2. Double Down On What You Love
“My father could have been a great comedian but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant and when I was 12 years old he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father. Not the least of which was that: You can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”
If this story of Jim Carrey’s father doesn’t pull on your heartstrings and inspire you at the same time, nothing else will! This is such an undeniable life lesson that everyone needs to learn. A lesson to take risks, push comfort zones and go all-in on what you love doing. So if your dreams, hobbies or goals seem far fetched to the majority, then you are already beating the other 99%.
Be that 1% that’s willing to dream big and rise above the norm. Unfortunately, in today’s society, our ancestral instincts still rule our everyday life. Fear is one of them and controls the majority of our population. It’s scary to push comfort zones and try something new, the thought of failure is often paralyzing to many. But my question to you is, will you look back one day and regret the chances you didn’t take?
3. Keep Your Eye On The Prize
“As far as I can tell, it’s just about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it, while letting go of how it comes to pass.” Holding onto every little detail when it comes to manifesting, can conjure up more harm than good. The reason is that the universe will deliver in ways you might not expect.
If you are too busy wondering when your desires will manifest, comparing yourself to others, or ignoring every sign that doesn’t look like your detailed plan you’ve written down, then you may be missing out on opportunities that are right in front of you! Your visualizations don’t have to be perfect, in fact, it’s better to just let go altogether and focus on the result itself rather than dwelling on every little detail. This doesn’t mean to simply forget about what you want but instead having the confidence it will happen in time.
An example of this is when Jim Carrey wrote himself a check for 30 million dollars. The only detail he knew was that he would earn it through his acting career, and he did indeed achieve this goal! So make sure to tell the universe what you want, but try not to hold onto every little detail!
Jim Carrey is just another person like you and me, with his own personal ups and downs in his road to success. He is someone to look up to when applying the law of attraction in your life too. It doesn’t matter if your goals or desires are different because the core foundation will always stay the same. You can and will do this if you think, feel and act as if it will happen!
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