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What Life Insurance Taught Me About The Value Of My Life.

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I’d never bothered to insure my life, income or health. That fact right there says a lot about who I used to be. Then I changed super funds (okay stay with me) and was forced to renew the insurances that came with it.

Previously I had always had automatic insurance and never checked it, but this time around I had to do it all myself. Having the initial phone call was scary. The whole process of insuring myself against the dangers of the world taught me so much.

Here’s what I learned:

The process involves thinking about the worst situation.

Through the life insurance process, I had to think about the worst-case scenario.

What if:

– You get hit by a car
– Get cancer
– Die from a skiing accident
– Are disabled and have to have a nurse fulltime

The thing is that the worst case scenario can happen to any of us. We can’t let fear control our lives.

All of these things can occur and we should at least try and have some plan, but living in this state is unhealthy. The life insurance process was supposed to make me fearful. That’s what would ultimately make me spend my hard earned dollars and go overboard trying to cover every scenario.

Unfortunately, there are a thousand things that can happen to you and you can’t insure every one of them. Even if you get the insurance, they can always come back later and determine that you didn’t qualify – especially when it comes to medical related events.

By all means, take up life insurance. Just remember that there are no guarantees in life.

What is the value of your life?

The conversation went like this:

Insurance salesman: “So Mr. Denning how much would you like to insure your life for?

Me: “I have no idea. What does the average Joe insure themselves for?”

Insurance salesman: “Well it depends on a number of factors. I can’t advise you of that. You have to tell me a figure though and it’s got to cover all of your costs in case you become disabled, sick, unable to work or die.

Me: “Geez, that’s a big deal! Okay, I need to go now and procrastinate on this for a while.”

Putting a dollar figure on my life seemed normal at the start. Later on, I realized it was complete madness. Am I not worth more to the world than numbers on an Internet Banking Screen?

Reflecting on this conversation still makes me feel weird. There are so many unanswered questions. Life insurance, again, made me rethink what the meaning of my life is.

I have the life insurance process to thank for this miracle deep thinking I did on the days that followed.

You’re forced to contemplate death.

Having to think about the 101 ways there are to die is a worthwhile process. You start remembering (even though you already know) that your time on this planet is limited. In my opinion, the more reminders you get, the better.

You again are faced with the question “When I’m gone, what will I leave behind?”

Life insurance companies would like you to think that leaving a truckload of money behind should be your number one priority. Through the life insurance process, I again remembered that I want more than that. I’m hoping that everyone reading this also has a similar realization.

My gianormous aha-moment!

Life Insurance taught me that my life is not about me.

Okay I know you probably think I’m stating the obvious but this whole life insurance thing taught me this lesson in an entirely new way. The reason that I decided to take up a few insurances was not because of me.

The old me was selfish, a brat and didn’t give anything to anyone.

The new me wants to ensure that my priority is the people around me. You take up insurance to make the lives easier for the people you love. You take up insurance to support those around you in case of the worst happening.

Life insurance is not about you. Life insurance is about the people you care about.

Just like with insurance, your life is not about you. Your life is about something bigger than you.

“The aim of the life game is to transcend yourself. To go bigger than just you with your nice little white house, with white picket fence and box car”

The value of your life is about what it means to everyone else and the difference you can make. Your life is about inspiring, giving and being more than you ever dreamed you could be.

Your life is worth more than money.
Your life is part of a much bigger picture and I want you to realize that.

You’re here for so much more than money and success.

Again, you’re here for more than just you. That’s what life insurance taught me.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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