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Don’t Wait for Permission to Chase Your Dreams

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Would a race feel fair if there were no starting gun? Imagine you are crouched at the starting line of a race along with all the other runners, and you are all expected to just begin the race whenever you feel like it. That is the world you are in right at this very moment.

Childhood has a way of framing things that makes adulthood rather confusing. When you are a child, there are always beginnings and endings. Each school year begins in September, and ends in May or June. Math class begins at 11:00 am and ends at 12:00 pm, whereupon you go to lunch. The human mind is designed to learn patterns, and learn to expect them. Thus, it comes as something of a shock when, as an adult, one learns that the world is no longer working according to those patterns; there is no starting gun in the race you now run.

You mustn’t wait for the starting gun, you mustn’t wait for permission, you mustn’t wait for the tide to come in or the weather to be perfect, because if you do, you will be waiting forever.

Stop waiting for your turn

One reason so many jerks get ahead is they don’t wait in line. It’s not that being a jerk is a way to become successful; it’s that not waiting for permission is one of the behaviors jerks happen to share with successful people, and thus, often jerks can wind up becoming successful.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

Move out from your comfort zones

Many of the best students at the top universities don’t go anywhere because they adapted perfectly for an environment full of mentorship, structure, and clearly defined goals where everyone wants them to succeed. In the real world, the goalposts are always moving, the field of battle is always covered in fog, and no one will spit on you even if you are on fire.

Surround yourself with hustlers

Another fetter that could be holding you back is the sort of people with whom you surround yourself. Here’s an easy test: Bring some aspect of your creative work to your friends for a critique. If their first instinct is to offer help for making it the best version of what it is, then you have some good friends.

If their first instinct is to disengage with what you actually created, essentially saying what they would have created were they you, then they aren’t really being helpful to you. They’re using your endeavor for them to be creative by proxy. Telling someone their lemonade stand should be an app startup isn’t helpful.

Some of this sort of negativity goes to the pattern recognition circuitry in our brains, designed to memorize what leopards look like in tall grass, and make us paranoid because the paranoid tends to survive. Not your problem. When friends’ negativity becomes your problem, spend less time with them.

You need friends who will buoy you, not sink you. If old friends of yours are negative people, fine. Know that there is a trade off in time spent with them and your ability to pull it together to chase your dreams.

The best time to start is now

Perhaps, in order to get that dream job, you need a specialized degree that will mean years of additional schooling. Let’s say you’re 25 right now. If you start now, you might finish when you are 28. If that seems like a long time, consider how it will feel if you finally pick up your new degree when you are 28, or 33, or 42. The sooner you embrace your dreams, the sooner they will happen, and you’ll spend less time in regret.

Do not fear

Perhaps you fear failure, or more specifically, you fear a kind of failure. If you dream of being a skater, know that all ice skaters fall, both in practice and in the Olympics. The greatest baseball players in history miss 7 out of 10 times they swing the bat. Failure is fine. Failure is part of learning. They have a saying in Silicon Valley: fail fast. The faster you fail, the sooner you will know how to succeed.

Be mentored

Would it feel better if you had a guide? Of course, it would. Know mentors may not be who you expect, or come when you want them to. Some wrangle a mentor early on, but more often than not, people don’t have mentors in the beginning.

You may wonder how your mentor will find you. This is an answer you have to find for yourself, but one thing is clear, they will not find you if you are sitting at home twiddling your thumbs. Baseball scouts find the talented kids who end up in the draft because those kids join teams and play baseball.

Hollywood agents find actors because the actors find their way onto the stage or the screen, and keep coming back until one night, the agent is in the audience. If you don’t do it, and no one sees it, then no one wants it. Your mentor will find you when you have shown you are worth throwing one’s weight behind.

“A mentor is someone who allows you to see the higher part of yourself when sometimes it becomes hidden to your own view.” – Oprah

You should be able to see by now that there’s really nothing between you and setting off in search of your dreams. Remember these steps: Decide what you need to accomplish your dream, and start with the first thing on the list. If the people around you deride your efforts in any way, stop spending time with them.

Get out the door and act on your dream, even on a small scale, even if you aren’t sure it will work. The way you fail will teach you how to succeed. If you succeed enough, a mentor will appear to guide you. From there, you will have much smoother sailing on your way to your life’s dreams. Just don’t ask for permission.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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