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Create Your Happiness, Don’t Pursue It!

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If you’d like to learn how to stop worrying about things you cannot control so you can create your own happiness, sign up for the free 90-Day Master Class hosted by the founder of Addicted2Success.com, Joel Brown.


2020 has been quite the year so far. It’s easy to slip and let our minds wander over what the next six months will look like. The last ones have been an emotional roller coaster full of national disasters, political uprising, overt racism, and a massive pandemic that has completely flipped the world on its head. It’s easy to be overwhelmed with all of this going around, so what can we do about it? More importantly, how will we be able to move forward with our lives? 

The answer: Create your own happiness

Over the last 15 years, the emerging field of positive psychology has taken the world by storm, creating a completely different dialogue about positive emotions and happiness. Chasing the “Pursuit of Happiness” sounds great in theory, but as neuroscience has shown, it’s flawed and outdated for multiple reasons. 

“Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.” – Dale Carnegie

Create Your Happiness, Don’t Wait For It To Come To You

If we genuinely want to be happy, we have to create it. Why? Because we can’t wait around for a specific event, date, or object to come into our lives. If it doesn’t happen, our happiness will never occur. More importantly, studies continue to show this concept is backward, as happiness fuels long-term success and fulfillment, not the other way around. 

Barbara Erickson is one of the leading researchers at the forefront of positive psychology. She coined the “Broaden and Build” theory, which states that positive emotions (i.e., joy, love, contentment, interest) can broaden our ability to process information. These positive emotions facilitate the creation of more thoughtful, creative, and open-minded answers to questions compared to individuals who are under stress or fear. And those who become “primed” with positive emotions before answering questions can generate a broader and more extensive set of thoughts and ideas compared to those who have been prefaced with negative emotions. 

Scientists have also found that positive emotions can even change how our visual cortex processes information, allowing greater expansion of our peripheral lines of vision. Let that one sink in for a minute! 

While this may sound great, it has essential applications in the real world. According to Shawn Achor in his book The Happiness Project, doctors who are placed into a positive mood before seeing patients show almost three times more intelligence and creativity than colleagues in a neutral state, making accurate diagnoses 19% faster than their counterparts. Even more convincing is the fact that sales individuals who possess optimistic traits outsell their negative-minded sales counterparts by 56%. 

Companies are finally starting to find out how powerful our mindset and beliefs can be for hiring and onboarding new employees. One study even looked at 112 entry-level accountants and asked them about their potential abilities to accomplish critical tasks before being hired. Those who merely believed they could achieve the tasks scored the best job performance ratings from their superiors compared to their peers. The best part about these findings is the fact that the beliefs in their abilities were a more reliable predictor of performance than the actual skillset or previous training they had in previous jobs. 

With 95% of HR leaders stating that employee burnout is “sabotaging workforce retention,” creating happiness should be our number one priority because it can provide significant change and necessary improvements in our personal and professional lives. 

So what is the best way to facilitate happiness

Keep It Simple: Happiness is What You Make It

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you need to wait to make a million dollars or find the love of your life for you to be happy. We’ve all been stuck in that thought process at some point in our lives. The problem with this type of thinking is that it doesn’t make sense because we’re putting the cart way before the horse. 

In 1978, researchers at Northwestern University and University of Massachusetts created a gound-breaking study that focused on assessing the overall happiness between 2 vastly different groups of people: Those who had recently won lottery prizes ranging from $50,000 to $1 million and those who have recently experienced a catastrophic accident, causing paraplegia or quadriplegia. 

Over time, when asked about simple interactions like chatting with friends, laughing at a joke, eating breakfast, and watching TV, they found that the recent accident victims experienced greater happiness than the lottery winners. Why? Because they realized that their happiness wasn’t as a result of their external circumstances. It was a result of their unique perspective on life, even though it was vastly different from where they were before their accident. 

Now, I would never wish paralysis or disability upon anyone, but this study brings some crucial points to the conversation. 

Money can improve your overall quality and life and sense of security, but it doesn’t mean you will inherently be happier. Stop wasting your time focusing on external factors that may or may not be under your control. As the research shows, happiness in the present can bring greater success in the future. Use it to your advantage. 

External factors, such as paralysis or disability, don’t have as much of a negative influence as one would expect. We can attribute this change in perspective to “affective forecasting,” a classic psychological theory describing the process of overestimating how much we will enjoy or hate a specific event in the future. While this may seem trivial, it can have significant consequences on our physical and mental health. 

If we don’t receive the expected outcome we were hoping for, we will always be let down and left unsatisfied. 

“The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.” – Dodinsky

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

The best part about these cognitive processes is that these “expectation” effects wear off relatively quickly, meaning that no matter how bad or good the outcome was, we all possess the ability to bounce back and find happiness, regardless of the circumstances we are placed in. 

Pro Tip: If you genuinely want to find greater happiness in your life, start by listing three things that make you happy throughout the day. Write it down, post it on your LinkedIn, or share it with a loved one. The more happiness you perceive, the more your brain believes it occurred, which creates more feelings and experiences of happiness around you. 

Happiness is a choice, not an event or circumstance. And it will always be up to you to create your own happiness, so what are you waiting for? 

What makes you happy? Share your thoughts with us below!

Dr. Erik Reis a high-performance consultant, executive health coach, and national speaker, with over 7 years of clinical experience working with some of the most complex neurological and metabolic conditions throughout the world. He believes the connection between optimal neurological function and physical health is essential to understanding how to fully maximize brain function and cognitive performance in the workplace, which is why SHIFT takes a multifaceted approach in working with businesses and employees to optimize workplace productivity and employee engagement. Click here to visit his website.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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