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Change Your Story And You Change Your Reality. Here’s How:

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There may be many reasons why you are not experiencing the success that you wish you had and if you don’t know what they are – here’s a clue.

What is your story? No matter what it is that we do in life, we create a story about it with ourselves as the main protagonists and we carry our story around with us – even if it doesn’t serve us. “I can’t succeed because”…or…“this happened and so….”

These stories might seem like the truth, even factual, but it is what it is – a story, which you believe and live by. One of the best ways to understand this is to consider the survivors of the Hudson River plane crash for example. Each survivor was part of the same experience and yet each person framed (and internalized) the event in a very different way – they all have different stories.

There are those who were traumatized and to this day refuse to fly again, and those who saw the crash as a second chance to life and refused to be limited by the experience. Each survivor’s future actions were shaped by their stories of the experience just as your actions are influenced by every singly story that you tell yourself.

Stories do not necessarily reflect facts

The thing about stories is that they tend to be subjective, you might not like to hear that, but it’s the harsh truth and so taking them for granted as unchangeable truths about ourselves is incredibly limiting and it will affect your success.

Your story is not the ultimate truth, you are focusing on your symptoms of the story, rather than on the event itself. Take, for example, a person who has had a bad experience pitching their business idea to seemingly uninterested potential investors. Two of the possible stories that this person might tell themselves are:

  • Story A: The investors weren’t interested because my business idea is horrible and no one will ever want to invest in it.
    Story B: Perhaps the investors weren’t interested because I didn’t pitch the idea well enough, or perhaps they just weren’t the right investors.

Same experience, two different stories. In both cases, the person is likely to feel disappointed and demotivated; these are the stories symptoms. But depending on which story that person wants to believe – they will take actions aligned with it.

Take a moment and think about the stories you tell people; the habitual stories that give you a ‘way out’ of something. What would it feel like if you decided to rewrite the story to something more empowering?

It is often necessary to change a story in order to be set free from it, instead of trying to change the symptoms. This is what people don’t get. They try to change the symptoms but it’s the story that you keep telling that brings you the same results.

One of the most challenging parts is actually being conscious and aware of your stories. Most people are in self-denial that they even have stories.

Is your story what you would like it to be?

What’s your story? Think about the different stories that have shaped the way you view your life and the actions you take. It could be a very specific story (for example, if you’re an aspiring entrepreneur who is too intimidated to take risks) or a more general one (for example, if you’re an artist, blocking your own success because you’ve always identified with the “struggling artist” story).

If you’re tired of being stuck in one place and want more out of life, you need to create stories that will help you achieve your goals, instead of staying captive to the mindset and stories that are holding you back.

What story do you need to let go? What story would help you to create your ideal world instead? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Kirstin O’Donovan is a “multinational” productivity coach, author and founder of TopResultsCoaching an international company providing coaching services in nearly a dozen countries. With over 10 years working in the field of coaching and personal development, she provides her expertise to help individuals create the life and results they desire.   Kirstin also writes for various international publications in personal development. Kirstin, a certified NLP Practitioner, holds various qualifications, certificates and credentials related to personal and business coaching. She is the author of ‘Maximize your time to maximize your profit’ and Co-Author of ‘The Confident Woman’ and ‘There is GOLD inside YOU.’

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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