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7 Musts To Unlocking Your Bliss And Living Your Dream Life

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Unlocking Your Bliss And Living Your Dream Life

Our whole lives we follow a pattern and live in autopilot. Many of us miss out on ever finding our true purpose, but it’s never too late to change this paradigm. When you acknowledge your most common mistakes, you will understand if you are truly living in a state of bliss.

A lot of us are not. In my life I feel that I am in a state of bliss maybe 50% of the time, but the other 50% I am not. This is not a bad start, but I still have a long way to go. The moment in which you can unlock your bliss is the moment you will finally begin to feel alive.

I have personally spent years studying successful people because I am still trying to find my true bliss and live it more each day. Through my studies of successful people I have begun to see patterns (I would be stupid if I didn’t).

These patterns clearly show me in almost every case that successful people do what they do not because of money, but because they are chasing their bliss and get lost in the positive feelings they get from it. The positive feelings of bliss became like an addictive drug that they just have to have.

Below are my seven musts to unlocking your bliss that will allow you to live the life you have always dreamed of.

 

1. Know what bliss is

Bliss is ultimately about reaching a state of perfect happiness. This state of bliss is derived from two simple questions. What are you here to do and what is your greatest passion in life? When you attempt to follow your bliss you simply need to listen to your heart and follow what is true to you.

To be even more precise, bliss is the thing you can’t not do every week. Bliss forms part of a journey which reflects your true self in every sense. Bliss is that thing that makes you feel alive, and that gives you goosebump moments.

Bliss is not the following:

– Something you wish for
– Getting addicted to pleasure
– Indulging in escapism
– Listening to sensory pleasures only
– Being selfish
– Something that other people determine for you

Bliss is about following the thing that is creating your greatest and most serene state. Generally, when you are experiencing bliss, you become open to the possibilities of the present.

 

2. Proactively discover your bliss

The million-dollar question when it comes to finding your bliss is what are you passionate about? Think through the activities you engage in regularly and then think about which ones make you feel like hours are passing so quickly that they become minutes.

For me, when I start writing blog posts I can easily go for six to eight hours without even realising it. Blogging is something that I feel I never have enough time for because when I engage in it, days can feel like months.

I never really reflected on this until recently and I realised that one of the states that creates bliss for me is blogging. If someone told me this, I would never have believed them until I began to reflect on past experiences.

When you look at past experiences, you can begin to see which ones make you become totally absorbed. To do this exercise properly it’s best to write down these experiences or represent them to yourself through a series of photos.

“Past experiences where you become lost in the moment represent the clues to unlocking your bliss” – Tim Denning

Think about what made you different as a child. Reflect on moments when you didn’t fit in at school or work. These moments for me were when I was in creative states. When I would create music or indulge in writing for my English teacher people thought I was weird.

Your bliss is often found very close to your moments of creative thinking. One of the best parts about bliss is that you may not know what it is right now. Don’t do what average people do and stick your head in the sand.

The goal to finding your bliss is to stop standing still and start moving towards something. Rise up, embrace the fact you have no idea what your bliss is, go back to that childlike state, and discover it.

Strangely enough, those who have discovered their bliss report that one of the best parts to finding bliss is the exploration and the journey you get to experience. If you just start looking for your bliss, you will be on the road to getting your bliss even if you don’t realise it.

 

3. Write a journal or blog

One disadvantage that a lot of us suffer is that we think we know ourselves when the truth is, we really don’t. The easiest way to get to know yourself is through journaling or blogging. By writing to yourself on a regular basis, you will begin to unlock the keys to bliss.

See, when you write your thoughts down in words, you start the process of truly understanding your dreams, hopes, gifts, weaknesses, lessons you have learnt and hidden talents you may have.
Your bliss is really made up of all these things, and each one holds another piece of the puzzle.

Until you bring each of these to the surface, you won’t understand yourself to the extent that you need to, to be able to find your bliss and unlock it.

 

4. Make bliss a must

Bliss needs to become a must if you are to unlock its true power. You have to stop settling for second best and spending massive amounts of your time on things that you don’t love to do. It could be said that unlocking bliss is really just the art of doing more of what you love and less of what you hate.

See, people don’t often know their purpose in life either, and what I have learnt is that your purpose is very closely aligned with your bliss. In fact, they are close to the same thing but not exactly. The straightforward way to unlock your bliss is to make it a must by scheduling it in your calendar every day.

I do this in a way we are all used to; I schedule time in my calendar at least once a week, to do something that I absolutely love. Right now, this is writing, making videos, and public speaking. Each of these tasks put me in a state of bliss and aligns to my purpose of inspiring the world and using entrepreneurship to solve the world’s problems.

 

5. Forget what others think of you

When you walk down the street and see people drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, consuming alcohol, and eating junk food, it’s because they are so overwhelmed by fear that they are trying desperately to suppress it.

A large part of people’s fear is due to them worrying about what other people will think of them. Read this sentence very carefully; YOU WILL NEVER UNLOCK YOUR BLISS UNLESS YOU PUT ASIDE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU!!!

Successful people know that learning to ignore other people’s opinion of you is how you achieve the impossible. You need to come to terms with the fact that you will never truly know what each person you meet thinks of you, so there is no point in caring about their opinion of you.

Your friends and family often will subconsciously collude with you to create a story that blocks you from unlocking your bliss. You need to face this problem head on and not let it continue. Outside of other people’s opinions of you, your own greatest inhibitor is you. You are limiting yourself and the difference you can create in the world.

 

6. Get used to being uncomfortable

Unlocking your bliss involves a large component of getting used to being uncomfortable. Your parents will often tell you to do the opposite, but that’s only because they want you to be safe and secure. If you settle for always being safe and secure in life, you will never find your bliss or get to experience what it’s like.

There is a part of you that you never knew existed, and the only way to see that side of you is to stretch yourself to the point of it being uncomfortable. The whole journey of bliss is one of the triggers to you discovering your personal quest to bliss in the first place.

If you are not sure what unlocking your bliss is like then the best way I can explain it is, it’s like being hit in the head by a soccer ball over and over until you learn to move slightly to one side. By moving to one side a new perspective is created, and a fresh route appears in your mind.

This process may seem a bit like insanity but when you trust bliss, things that you can’t see start to come together, rearrange themselves, and support the fact that you had faith even when there was no reason to do so.

In fact, you could say that you should keep following your bliss until you get lucky. This perceived luck though is really just hard work that you have put in to get the successful result you want – bliss.

Being uncomfortable for me is getting up each week and attempting to deliver a speech, fumbling my words, getting a rush of adrenaline, and then doing it all over again the next week even though I feel like I failed.

It’s all too easy to be okay with being comfortable each day but what I have found is that if you are not uncomfortable at least every once in a while, you will get bored, each junk food, watch endless amounts of TV shows, and end up dying from an unfulfilled life.

Find Your Bliss Quote - Tim Denning
 

7. Put yourself out there

Being uncomfortable will certainly help you unlock your bliss, but you also need to go to the next level and put yourself out there. By out there, I mean in front of the eyes of everyone else. Assuming money and time were something that you never had to think about, how would you express yourself and how could that serve others?

Part of unlocking your bliss is being able to share what created your bliss with the world. This is because bliss on its own is one thing, but bliss that is created and then shared with other people is an entirely different thing.

As you put yourself out there, don’t try and anticipate what you might find otherwise you will block the path to unlocking your bliss. If there is someone you never speak to, then go and speak to them. If there is a story that you have never told, then go and post it on social media.

Do all of these tasks with unlimited amounts of vulnerability, a fearless sense of consciousness, and all the passion you can unleash. If you put yourself out there, coupled with the previous points, I promise you, you will eventually unlock your bliss and live your dream life.

Have you unlocked your own bliss? If not, why haven’t you? Let me know your answer below or on my Twitter and Facebook pages.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Adam

    Oct 21, 2016 at 3:10 am

    Absolute spot on for me. I just started a blog on Sunday and happened to read your post from twitter. Thanks for the words because they were so perfect for where I’m at. Blessings

  2. Thea Dunlap

    Mar 22, 2016 at 2:14 am

    Great article. There are some points here that really touched me. Very inspiring and motivating. I look forward on your post Tim. Post like these are really a big help for my both mentally and spiritually. Keep it up 🙂

    • Tim Denning

      Mar 29, 2016 at 3:28 am

      Not a problem Thea and thanks for reading.

  3. Toño

    Mar 19, 2016 at 5:06 am

    There are so many points you have touched through this article, Tim that I feel positively overwhelmed right now. My current book is ‘The Flow’ by M. Csikszentmihalyi and it’s align perfectly with the meaning of bliss, and, of course, finding your purpose. That theme is all over my head for such a great amount of time and I feel like I need to look at that at different angle so to speak.

    I would love to share a little story that ‘happened’ yesterday. I was at my gym, got my keys for the changing room. Usually my locker is number ten-something, like 15, 17 etc and for the past weeks it was 15. I looked up at my keys and it was 13. Ok, some change I thought. Got the changing room, again, looked at my keys – 13. Got myself ready, clothes changed, time to go. For some reason, I could not lock my locker, the key was stuck and I thought it just broken. Decided to tell the admistrator about it and had a brief look at my keys and, suddenly, what a surprise… the number was 3! Three! I face-palmed myself so hard and laughed. It’s not my usual thing and I am very careful and pay big attention to small details like this. But I was so certain I’ll have the partuclar locker number I missed the ACTUAL number three times in a row.

    For the last few days I think of this concept: life is not happening to us, it’s responding to our thoughts, words and actions. We restrict ourselves in limited tunnel which we live by that often we miss or do not allow opportinites come to our lives. Our daily routines and habbits drives us down the river and few of us have courage to change things. What I believed happened with me – I was so certain in the number of key that my own eyes betrayed me and mind was having a big fun creating a reallity I was so certain about.

    My little experience that I think may fit to the theme of the article. Thank you again, Tim, for amazing read and inspiration for me this morning, always a pleasure 🙂

    Stay well and have a wonderful weekend!

    • Tim Denning

      Mar 20, 2016 at 9:51 pm

      Toño I actually haven’t read the book “The Flow” but have just gone to Amazon to order it,

      The locker key story has happened to me lots. Its because we are not living in the present moment and so we really don’t know what is happening to us each day.

      Thanks as always Toño

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Success Advice

Stop Denying Your Negative Thoughts and Start Embracing Them

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Over the years, many of the talking heads and pundits in the personal development and success science industry have talked about the immediate replacement of negative thoughts with positive thoughts. The logic behind that particular behavioral strategy seems to make sense on the surface. Think about it, when a negative thought rears its ugly head, we should immediately dive into the repository of positive thoughts that we have available to us so that we could immediately begin to dwell on it.

Even further, some gurus of the genre suggest removing any chance of having a negative thought by the constant repetition of affirmations. Again, tried-and-true motivational technology that is very workable and still useful. I would suggest, however, that you view the above behaviors as tactics more than strategies.

I will further suggest to you that you do not abhor your negative thoughts but rather embrace them, examine them, and place them under a spotlight. My reasoning behind this goes back over 100 years into psychology with stimulus/response, that is, the cause and effect of certain behaviors. Many individuals look at a negative thought as a causative driver. The negative thought exists as a cause, and our behavior toward that cause will determine the effect.

So, following this logic, if an individual has a negative thought which makes them feel sad, and that sadness causes them to binge drink, by removing the negative thought you’ll have removed the motivation for binge drinking. Doesn’t that sound kind of silly? The suggestion here is to turn off the negative thought so that it will turn off the consumption of alcohol.

Of course, this makes sense if we view the negative thought as a primal force in behavior. So, what if we started to think of the negative thought more as the result of something else? It means that the “something else” must change first. What if we took a different approach? What if we looked at a negative thought as an effect of some larger causal factor?

“You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events.” – Joel Osteen

By reversing the cause-and-effect motion of negative thinking (saying that the negative thought is an effect), we now can ask a deeper, more penetrative question: Why are we thinking that negative thought? What is the underlying cause of that specific train of thinking? By reversing the cause-and-effect relationship of negative thinking, it allows the negative thinker to assume the role of diagnostician!

Below is a three-step process you can use to examine your negative thoughts, the role of it in your life, and how you can get rid of them:

1. Simply acknowledge the negative thought

Recognize the fact that there’s a negative thought in your mind instead of trying to go through a process of emotionally overlaying positive thoughts on top of it. Can you see how this exacerbates the issue? You have a negative thought, you immediately recognize that it must be changed, and you frantically scurry through the museum of your mind to find a positive thought to replace it.

In the meantime, while you are trying to find that positive thought, you’re feeling anxious, nervous, and guilty! When you finally find a positive thought to replace that negative thought, the normal process is to squash it. But you can’t! It’s like trying to get rid of weeds by covering them with rocks.

They will always find another way around the rock. It is the same with negative thoughts. Consequently, try acknowledging the negative thought.

2. Affirm the negative thought

It is a part of you. Instead of denying its existence, accept that it is there in front of you and that you are now willing to deal with it. If any of you reading this are dog lovers, you will know that the best way to get a dog next to you is by attempting to push it away from you. Every time you push the dog away it gets closer. This is the same with negative thinking because the harder you push the closer it gets.

“Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.” – Michael Jordan

3. Acquit the thought

Give it permission to leave you. Thank it for its past importance in your life and allow it to be on its way! At this point feel free to replace the negative thought with a positive thought. What will begin to happen when you place the negative thought under the spotlight is that you will see how insignificantly small it actually is.

This is a process I’ve been using for quite some time, and it works! Oh sure, I still use affirmations on a daily basis; as a matter fact I have them right here in front of me. I find that affirmations are a tremendous way to stay positive because it doesn’t allow any room for bad things to grow. But since the average person thinks 60,000 to 65,000 thoughts per day, let’s face it, a few negative thoughts have to squeak in there!

The best advice that I can give is to not freak out over a negative thought. Acknowledge it, affirm it, and acquit it! This is magic. Watch what happens!

How do you handle negative thoughts? Let us know your tips below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

One Thing I Can Teach You About Life That Will Help You Forever.

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I used to be a very anxious person.

I was embarrassed by what I couldn’t do and every day was a struggle. From the moment I would wake up to the moment I’d go to bed, everything felt impossibly overwhelming. It’s a battle I’ve dealt with most of my life.

This daily struggle with mental illness taught me that the satisfaction didn’t lie in beating it; the satisfaction was in helping other people beat mental illness through my success in fighting it.


Recently, I was at work. It was a pretty standard day — nothing too exciting. I then had a catch up with one of the leaders I worked with.

She said something that got my attention: “One of our colleagues is battling a mental illness.”

I really wanted to help. My eyes lit up. There was no need to uncover my plan with anyone else. I knew that staying discrete was fundamental.

I approached the person in question and asked for a few minutes of their time.

I didn’t ask them to admit their mental illness struggle; I just shared my story.

I talked about the anxiety stopping me from having a normal life, eating the right foods, going on dates with girls, having the career I wanted and traveling the world.

I wasn’t sure if any of it was sinking in or even helping. I felt compelled to go on. One thing I knew was that he was paying attention. I could see it in his eyes.

I then went on to talk about how I beat mental illness. Strategies such as:

  • Creating fear lists
  • Seeking professional help
  • Working on myself
  • Books I read
  • Events I attended

Out of nowhere, he started opening up about his own struggle. I was shocked.
It wasn’t pretty. He had an extreme case of mental illness that I certainly couldn’t diagnose or give professional advice on.

All I could do was show him through my own story that there was hope

I offered him access to all the resources I had. I told him that he had my full support and I’d be happy to help in any way I could. He then said:

“What was your psychologist’s name?”

I told him I’d look it up and send it to him. I didn’t have the answer in front of me, but I was determined when I got home to find it.

At the end of the catch-up, he smiled. I don’t think he’d smiled like that in a very long time.

That smile gave me so much satisfaction. It made my own struggle with mental illness worth it. All those sleepless nights, times spent vomiting into the toilet and dark days where I didn’t want to go on made sense.


“It took more than seven years for me to understand that my own battle with mental illness actually had a benefit”

That benefit was the satisfaction in seeing someone beat their mental illness because I was able to defeat mine.

It’s probably the greatest satisfaction of my entire life.

That’s one thing I can teach you about life that will help you forever.

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Success Advice

5 Productivity Shifts You Need to Make to Make 2019 Your Best Year Yet

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Everyone wants more time, that is something almost all of us share. Time is the most valuable resource and when you learn how to make your time work for you and how to get the most out of it – you experience life differently.  

Improving how you manage your time is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself – it’s a real game changer in your business and personal life. There are many ways that you can get more productive and get the right things done sooner; but not all of them are obvious or bring the same results.

Here are 5 productivity shifts you want to make if you are trying to make the most out of 2019:

1. Ditch your to do list

Productive people don’t keep to-do lists, they schedule everything they need to do in their calendar and work directly from their calendar!  To-Do lists are just ineffective and they are impeding your productivity. A never ending list of items only leaves you overwhelmed and with a false sense of ‘productivity’.  

If you schedule your To Do’s directly into your calendar at a time to get them done, you commit to it and you are more likely to get it done. Less is more – you don’t need a separate list to remind you what you need to do.

“Productivity is less about what you do with your time and more about how you run your mind.” – Robin Sharma

2. Give up on motivation

Productive people don’t always have to be motivated before starting something. They balance discipline with motivation and do what they need to do, regardless of motivation. When we come up with resistance to take action on what we have planned, we might tell ourselves that we are not motivated and we believe that we need to be motivated to complete any task.

If you want to increase your productivity, you need to challenge yourself more in the moment to take action and give up on motivation sometimes. Do what you need to in order to get the results you want in the future. Don’t make decisions based on how you feel now, make them based on what result you are really after.

3. Master your mornings

Wake up early and get yourself into the productive mindset with your routine and diet! Productive people start the day with some sort of routine, whether it’s meditation, exercise or visualization, etc. AND they have a healthy breakfast to fuel them for the day. Your health is everything when it comes to productivity, what you eat directly affects your productivity.

We can just no longer ignore the direct connection any more. Get in the right mindset to start your day and fuel your mind and body to get the most out of it. Starting your day off in any other way undermines your success – there is no doubt.

4. Schedule according to energy

Productive people know their energy cycles and they plan tasks around their energy levels. Why plan something at a time when you know it will be hard to rise to the challenge? Schedule tasks that require focus and concentration for those times of day that you feel the best and you will find it’s easier to follow through and you will be at your best to perform. Identify your filler tasks and complete those when your energy drops. Be more realistic when scheduling your tasks and set yourself up for wins.

“Productivity is never an accident it’s the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning & focused effort.” – Paul Meyer

5. Working backwards

Productive people always focus on those activities that will take them to the next level. They plan backwards, they look at their goals, then identify the tasks they need to do to support those goals. Those tasks get broken down into weekly actions. That’s how they plan.

Don’t only plan on tasks that come in or those which you ‘feel’ or ‘think’ you should be doing. Your day needs to consist of at least one activity that directly supports your longer term objectives, your big project. What sounds like common sense is definitely not common practice.

Create the right habits to achieve your goals, work on adopting easy tips and techniques so you can manage your time and yourself better to get things done.

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Success Advice

You Need to Grow Your Memory in Order to Grow Your Life

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We all have access to the most powerful computer ever created in the universe…our brain. Unfortunately, few of us have ever been taught how to use our minds efficiently, and even fewer have learned how to develop a fabulous memory. Thankfully, like any skill, memorising can be learned and using the correct strategies, your memory can be improved in only days.

One of the best coaches on memory is Dominic O’Brien the eight-time world memory champion. Self-taught after watching Creighton Carvello memorise a pack of cards on the BBC’s Record Breakers programme. Dominic, through his work on memory, has given us many tools and techniques for improving memory.

Below are 5 rules that will help you develop a better memory:

1. The Rule of Five

Probably seen as one of the most significant contributions to the body of knowledge on memory is O’Brien’s Rule of Five. This rule details how to remember things using a strategy of regular staged repetition.

These stages are as follows:

  • First Review:Immediately
  • Second Review:Twenty-four hours later
  • Third Review:One week later
  • Fourth Review:One month later
  • Fifth Review:Three months later

Utilising stage repetition at these intervals ingrains the memory for the long term.

2. The Dominic System

The Dominic System is a system for remembering numbers. The system is a Person Action system where the association between two sets of paired numbers is the person with the action of the next person.

1139 would become Andre Agassi doing a roundhouse kick which is the action of Chuck Norris. This system combined with the journey method allows for long random numbers to be easily recalled without error. The fantastic thing about this system is that you get to customise for yourself with memorable people and unique actions which when combined really make it easy for you to recall numbers. The table below associates each number to a letter.

Number     0     1    2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9
Letter     O     A     B     C     D    E     S     G     H     N

Creating a simple document with pairs of numbers in one column, the letter pairs in the next and an action column will help you learn this system quickly.

“Nothing can substitute for just plain hard work. I had to put in the time to get back. And it was a grind. It meant training and sweating every day. But I was completely committed to working out to prove to myself that I still could do it.” – Andre Agassi

3. The Link Method

This method relies on two essential elements of memory, association and exaggeration. Utilising these two elements, it is possible to link together unrelated objects to allow you to remember them.

Trying to remember a list of five separate words such as: balloon, papaya, gold, football and hat, might go something like this. You imagine seeing a giant balloon and inside the balloon you can see a small papaya, in bursting the balloon the papaya falls out and as it hits the floor a gold football bounces into a large sombrero.

4. The Journey Method

Using location has been a fundamental part of mnemonics almost since time began. Before humans, writing elders would pass knowledge to others using stories of journeys, with each piece of knowledge being associated with a location on the journey.

O’Brien’s system utilises journeys that you would undertake on a daily basis, like your commute to work or train stations on well-known line. Items are then associated and exaggerated along the journey, so for instance if you were trying to remember a list of ten random things you would associate each piece along with a unique ten stop journey and utilise exaggeration to make the items more memorable.

“You are well equipped with an incredible potential for absorbing knowledge…Anything’s possible.” – Dominic O’Brien

5. The Story Method

To remember groups of information, create a story that links them together. Remembering the planets of the solar system and their position relative to the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

Imagine that Mercury was hitting the nineties as Venus tossed the tennis ball into the air, striking the ball it soared over the net striking the earth and bouncing high into the air, knocking the mars bar out of Jupiter’s hand, and so on.

Developing a good memory will assist markedly in all of your personal development goals as well as assisting greatly in your daily life. The methods above are tried and tested by one of the leading memory champions. Whether you want to become the next World Memory Champion or just improve your recall, the techniques outlined above will assist greatly.

Combining the various elements will create an exponential improvement in your memory that you will find hard to believe, and you will be kicking yourself for not applying them sooner. The best part about using these methods is that they are fun, so enjoy using them.

Which one of these memorizing methods sounds most interesting to you? Share with us below!

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Entrepreneurs

5 Tips for Young People Starting a Business or Side-Hustle

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The decision to start a business or any sort of “side-hustle” takes a lot of nerve, especially when you’re only in your 20s. Yet, the ability to power on and keep going – through all the ups and downs of business is a feat to be truly admired. (more…)

With the desire to go "digital nomad" and help businesses with their social media, Chelsea Tobin founded her boutique social media agency, Queen of Swords Media, in 2018. She attended Auckland University of Technology in New Zealand, where she graduated with a Bachelor of Business (Marketing major) and a Bachelor of Communication Studies (PR major). She enjoys speaking and writing about her journey so far in the world of business, self-development and mindfulness as a young millennial woman navigating her way through life, and of course social media. You can follow her on Instagram here.

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Adam

    Oct 21, 2016 at 3:10 am

    Absolute spot on for me. I just started a blog on Sunday and happened to read your post from twitter. Thanks for the words because they were so perfect for where I’m at. Blessings

  2. Thea Dunlap

    Mar 22, 2016 at 2:14 am

    Great article. There are some points here that really touched me. Very inspiring and motivating. I look forward on your post Tim. Post like these are really a big help for my both mentally and spiritually. Keep it up 🙂

    • Tim Denning

      Mar 29, 2016 at 3:28 am

      Not a problem Thea and thanks for reading.

  3. Toño

    Mar 19, 2016 at 5:06 am

    There are so many points you have touched through this article, Tim that I feel positively overwhelmed right now. My current book is ‘The Flow’ by M. Csikszentmihalyi and it’s align perfectly with the meaning of bliss, and, of course, finding your purpose. That theme is all over my head for such a great amount of time and I feel like I need to look at that at different angle so to speak.

    I would love to share a little story that ‘happened’ yesterday. I was at my gym, got my keys for the changing room. Usually my locker is number ten-something, like 15, 17 etc and for the past weeks it was 15. I looked up at my keys and it was 13. Ok, some change I thought. Got the changing room, again, looked at my keys – 13. Got myself ready, clothes changed, time to go. For some reason, I could not lock my locker, the key was stuck and I thought it just broken. Decided to tell the admistrator about it and had a brief look at my keys and, suddenly, what a surprise… the number was 3! Three! I face-palmed myself so hard and laughed. It’s not my usual thing and I am very careful and pay big attention to small details like this. But I was so certain I’ll have the partuclar locker number I missed the ACTUAL number three times in a row.

    For the last few days I think of this concept: life is not happening to us, it’s responding to our thoughts, words and actions. We restrict ourselves in limited tunnel which we live by that often we miss or do not allow opportinites come to our lives. Our daily routines and habbits drives us down the river and few of us have courage to change things. What I believed happened with me – I was so certain in the number of key that my own eyes betrayed me and mind was having a big fun creating a reallity I was so certain about.

    My little experience that I think may fit to the theme of the article. Thank you again, Tim, for amazing read and inspiration for me this morning, always a pleasure 🙂

    Stay well and have a wonderful weekend!

    • Tim Denning

      Mar 20, 2016 at 9:51 pm

      Toño I actually haven’t read the book “The Flow” but have just gone to Amazon to order it,

      The locker key story has happened to me lots. Its because we are not living in the present moment and so we really don’t know what is happening to us each day.

      Thanks as always Toño

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Success Advice

Stop Denying Your Negative Thoughts and Start Embracing Them

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Over the years, many of the talking heads and pundits in the personal development and success science industry have talked about the immediate replacement of negative thoughts with positive thoughts. The logic behind that particular behavioral strategy seems to make sense on the surface. Think about it, when a negative thought rears its ugly head, we should immediately dive into the repository of positive thoughts that we have available to us so that we could immediately begin to dwell on it.

Even further, some gurus of the genre suggest removing any chance of having a negative thought by the constant repetition of affirmations. Again, tried-and-true motivational technology that is very workable and still useful. I would suggest, however, that you view the above behaviors as tactics more than strategies.

I will further suggest to you that you do not abhor your negative thoughts but rather embrace them, examine them, and place them under a spotlight. My reasoning behind this goes back over 100 years into psychology with stimulus/response, that is, the cause and effect of certain behaviors. Many individuals look at a negative thought as a causative driver. The negative thought exists as a cause, and our behavior toward that cause will determine the effect.

So, following this logic, if an individual has a negative thought which makes them feel sad, and that sadness causes them to binge drink, by removing the negative thought you’ll have removed the motivation for binge drinking. Doesn’t that sound kind of silly? The suggestion here is to turn off the negative thought so that it will turn off the consumption of alcohol.

Of course, this makes sense if we view the negative thought as a primal force in behavior. So, what if we started to think of the negative thought more as the result of something else? It means that the “something else” must change first. What if we took a different approach? What if we looked at a negative thought as an effect of some larger causal factor?

“You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events.” – Joel Osteen

By reversing the cause-and-effect motion of negative thinking (saying that the negative thought is an effect), we now can ask a deeper, more penetrative question: Why are we thinking that negative thought? What is the underlying cause of that specific train of thinking? By reversing the cause-and-effect relationship of negative thinking, it allows the negative thinker to assume the role of diagnostician!

Below is a three-step process you can use to examine your negative thoughts, the role of it in your life, and how you can get rid of them:

1. Simply acknowledge the negative thought

Recognize the fact that there’s a negative thought in your mind instead of trying to go through a process of emotionally overlaying positive thoughts on top of it. Can you see how this exacerbates the issue? You have a negative thought, you immediately recognize that it must be changed, and you frantically scurry through the museum of your mind to find a positive thought to replace it.

In the meantime, while you are trying to find that positive thought, you’re feeling anxious, nervous, and guilty! When you finally find a positive thought to replace that negative thought, the normal process is to squash it. But you can’t! It’s like trying to get rid of weeds by covering them with rocks.

They will always find another way around the rock. It is the same with negative thoughts. Consequently, try acknowledging the negative thought.

2. Affirm the negative thought

It is a part of you. Instead of denying its existence, accept that it is there in front of you and that you are now willing to deal with it. If any of you reading this are dog lovers, you will know that the best way to get a dog next to you is by attempting to push it away from you. Every time you push the dog away it gets closer. This is the same with negative thinking because the harder you push the closer it gets.

“Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.” – Michael Jordan

3. Acquit the thought

Give it permission to leave you. Thank it for its past importance in your life and allow it to be on its way! At this point feel free to replace the negative thought with a positive thought. What will begin to happen when you place the negative thought under the spotlight is that you will see how insignificantly small it actually is.

This is a process I’ve been using for quite some time, and it works! Oh sure, I still use affirmations on a daily basis; as a matter fact I have them right here in front of me. I find that affirmations are a tremendous way to stay positive because it doesn’t allow any room for bad things to grow. But since the average person thinks 60,000 to 65,000 thoughts per day, let’s face it, a few negative thoughts have to squeak in there!

The best advice that I can give is to not freak out over a negative thought. Acknowledge it, affirm it, and acquit it! This is magic. Watch what happens!

How do you handle negative thoughts? Let us know your tips below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

One Thing I Can Teach You About Life That Will Help You Forever.

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I used to be a very anxious person.

I was embarrassed by what I couldn’t do and every day was a struggle. From the moment I would wake up to the moment I’d go to bed, everything felt impossibly overwhelming. It’s a battle I’ve dealt with most of my life.

This daily struggle with mental illness taught me that the satisfaction didn’t lie in beating it; the satisfaction was in helping other people beat mental illness through my success in fighting it.


Recently, I was at work. It was a pretty standard day — nothing too exciting. I then had a catch up with one of the leaders I worked with.

She said something that got my attention: “One of our colleagues is battling a mental illness.”

I really wanted to help. My eyes lit up. There was no need to uncover my plan with anyone else. I knew that staying discrete was fundamental.

I approached the person in question and asked for a few minutes of their time.

I didn’t ask them to admit their mental illness struggle; I just shared my story.

I talked about the anxiety stopping me from having a normal life, eating the right foods, going on dates with girls, having the career I wanted and traveling the world.

I wasn’t sure if any of it was sinking in or even helping. I felt compelled to go on. One thing I knew was that he was paying attention. I could see it in his eyes.

I then went on to talk about how I beat mental illness. Strategies such as:

  • Creating fear lists
  • Seeking professional help
  • Working on myself
  • Books I read
  • Events I attended

Out of nowhere, he started opening up about his own struggle. I was shocked.
It wasn’t pretty. He had an extreme case of mental illness that I certainly couldn’t diagnose or give professional advice on.

All I could do was show him through my own story that there was hope

I offered him access to all the resources I had. I told him that he had my full support and I’d be happy to help in any way I could. He then said:

“What was your psychologist’s name?”

I told him I’d look it up and send it to him. I didn’t have the answer in front of me, but I was determined when I got home to find it.

At the end of the catch-up, he smiled. I don’t think he’d smiled like that in a very long time.

That smile gave me so much satisfaction. It made my own struggle with mental illness worth it. All those sleepless nights, times spent vomiting into the toilet and dark days where I didn’t want to go on made sense.


“It took more than seven years for me to understand that my own battle with mental illness actually had a benefit”

That benefit was the satisfaction in seeing someone beat their mental illness because I was able to defeat mine.

It’s probably the greatest satisfaction of my entire life.

That’s one thing I can teach you about life that will help you forever.

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Success Advice

5 Productivity Shifts You Need to Make to Make 2019 Your Best Year Yet

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Everyone wants more time, that is something almost all of us share. Time is the most valuable resource and when you learn how to make your time work for you and how to get the most out of it – you experience life differently.  

Improving how you manage your time is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself – it’s a real game changer in your business and personal life. There are many ways that you can get more productive and get the right things done sooner; but not all of them are obvious or bring the same results.

Here are 5 productivity shifts you want to make if you are trying to make the most out of 2019:

1. Ditch your to do list

Productive people don’t keep to-do lists, they schedule everything they need to do in their calendar and work directly from their calendar!  To-Do lists are just ineffective and they are impeding your productivity. A never ending list of items only leaves you overwhelmed and with a false sense of ‘productivity’.  

If you schedule your To Do’s directly into your calendar at a time to get them done, you commit to it and you are more likely to get it done. Less is more – you don’t need a separate list to remind you what you need to do.

“Productivity is less about what you do with your time and more about how you run your mind.” – Robin Sharma

2. Give up on motivation

Productive people don’t always have to be motivated before starting something. They balance discipline with motivation and do what they need to do, regardless of motivation. When we come up with resistance to take action on what we have planned, we might tell ourselves that we are not motivated and we believe that we need to be motivated to complete any task.

If you want to increase your productivity, you need to challenge yourself more in the moment to take action and give up on motivation sometimes. Do what you need to in order to get the results you want in the future. Don’t make decisions based on how you feel now, make them based on what result you are really after.

3. Master your mornings

Wake up early and get yourself into the productive mindset with your routine and diet! Productive people start the day with some sort of routine, whether it’s meditation, exercise or visualization, etc. AND they have a healthy breakfast to fuel them for the day. Your health is everything when it comes to productivity, what you eat directly affects your productivity.

We can just no longer ignore the direct connection any more. Get in the right mindset to start your day and fuel your mind and body to get the most out of it. Starting your day off in any other way undermines your success – there is no doubt.

4. Schedule according to energy

Productive people know their energy cycles and they plan tasks around their energy levels. Why plan something at a time when you know it will be hard to rise to the challenge? Schedule tasks that require focus and concentration for those times of day that you feel the best and you will find it’s easier to follow through and you will be at your best to perform. Identify your filler tasks and complete those when your energy drops. Be more realistic when scheduling your tasks and set yourself up for wins.

“Productivity is never an accident it’s the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning & focused effort.” – Paul Meyer

5. Working backwards

Productive people always focus on those activities that will take them to the next level. They plan backwards, they look at their goals, then identify the tasks they need to do to support those goals. Those tasks get broken down into weekly actions. That’s how they plan.

Don’t only plan on tasks that come in or those which you ‘feel’ or ‘think’ you should be doing. Your day needs to consist of at least one activity that directly supports your longer term objectives, your big project. What sounds like common sense is definitely not common practice.

Create the right habits to achieve your goals, work on adopting easy tips and techniques so you can manage your time and yourself better to get things done.

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Success Advice

You Need to Grow Your Memory in Order to Grow Your Life

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We all have access to the most powerful computer ever created in the universe…our brain. Unfortunately, few of us have ever been taught how to use our minds efficiently, and even fewer have learned how to develop a fabulous memory. Thankfully, like any skill, memorising can be learned and using the correct strategies, your memory can be improved in only days.

One of the best coaches on memory is Dominic O’Brien the eight-time world memory champion. Self-taught after watching Creighton Carvello memorise a pack of cards on the BBC’s Record Breakers programme. Dominic, through his work on memory, has given us many tools and techniques for improving memory.

Below are 5 rules that will help you develop a better memory:

1. The Rule of Five

Probably seen as one of the most significant contributions to the body of knowledge on memory is O’Brien’s Rule of Five. This rule details how to remember things using a strategy of regular staged repetition.

These stages are as follows:

  • First Review:Immediately
  • Second Review:Twenty-four hours later
  • Third Review:One week later
  • Fourth Review:One month later
  • Fifth Review:Three months later

Utilising stage repetition at these intervals ingrains the memory for the long term.

2. The Dominic System

The Dominic System is a system for remembering numbers. The system is a Person Action system where the association between two sets of paired numbers is the person with the action of the next person.

1139 would become Andre Agassi doing a roundhouse kick which is the action of Chuck Norris. This system combined with the journey method allows for long random numbers to be easily recalled without error. The fantastic thing about this system is that you get to customise for yourself with memorable people and unique actions which when combined really make it easy for you to recall numbers. The table below associates each number to a letter.

Number     0     1    2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9
Letter     O     A     B     C     D    E     S     G     H     N

Creating a simple document with pairs of numbers in one column, the letter pairs in the next and an action column will help you learn this system quickly.

“Nothing can substitute for just plain hard work. I had to put in the time to get back. And it was a grind. It meant training and sweating every day. But I was completely committed to working out to prove to myself that I still could do it.” – Andre Agassi

3. The Link Method

This method relies on two essential elements of memory, association and exaggeration. Utilising these two elements, it is possible to link together unrelated objects to allow you to remember them.

Trying to remember a list of five separate words such as: balloon, papaya, gold, football and hat, might go something like this. You imagine seeing a giant balloon and inside the balloon you can see a small papaya, in bursting the balloon the papaya falls out and as it hits the floor a gold football bounces into a large sombrero.

4. The Journey Method

Using location has been a fundamental part of mnemonics almost since time began. Before humans, writing elders would pass knowledge to others using stories of journeys, with each piece of knowledge being associated with a location on the journey.

O’Brien’s system utilises journeys that you would undertake on a daily basis, like your commute to work or train stations on well-known line. Items are then associated and exaggerated along the journey, so for instance if you were trying to remember a list of ten random things you would associate each piece along with a unique ten stop journey and utilise exaggeration to make the items more memorable.

“You are well equipped with an incredible potential for absorbing knowledge…Anything’s possible.” – Dominic O’Brien

5. The Story Method

To remember groups of information, create a story that links them together. Remembering the planets of the solar system and their position relative to the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

Imagine that Mercury was hitting the nineties as Venus tossed the tennis ball into the air, striking the ball it soared over the net striking the earth and bouncing high into the air, knocking the mars bar out of Jupiter’s hand, and so on.

Developing a good memory will assist markedly in all of your personal development goals as well as assisting greatly in your daily life. The methods above are tried and tested by one of the leading memory champions. Whether you want to become the next World Memory Champion or just improve your recall, the techniques outlined above will assist greatly.

Combining the various elements will create an exponential improvement in your memory that you will find hard to believe, and you will be kicking yourself for not applying them sooner. The best part about using these methods is that they are fun, so enjoy using them.

Which one of these memorizing methods sounds most interesting to you? Share with us below!

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