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A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident



Many people want to learn how to be confident in different situations, but it’s not always easy. Maybe we’re too addicted to comparing ourselves or maybe social media has brainwashed us to believe that we should all be rich, famous, and in incredible shape.

Anyway, today I’d like to share a simple yet super effective tip that skyrocketed my confidence back in time. I’m surprised why so few confidence guides talk about this, so I’ll share it here with all the awesome people like you.

The best thing is, this technique is proven, fairly easy to implement, and can bring you huge results if used properly. Alright, let’s start.

Understanding human psychology

To learn this technique, you must first understand some basics of confidence and human psychology. Confidence is basically your ability to trust yourself and your capabilities in different situations. You’ll achieve ultimate confidence when you know that you can handle a certain situation, regardless of what happens.

When you do something you’re very capable of, you’ll probably feel confident because you know that the outcome will be positive. But what if I told you that even negative outcomes could be turned into your favor?

See, whether the result of something you do is positive or negative, it’s all up to you. It’s not about whether you succeed or not. It’s about how you see and carry yourself with your capabilities. By changing your mindset and actions, you can also change how the world around you reacts to you.

The key to this technique lies in human psychology. With the right mindset and actions, you can deal with any outcome in any situation and thus be confident.

“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.” – Norman Vincent Peale

How to use this technique and be confident

Let’s say you’re giving a presentation but you haven’t prepared well. This gives you insecurity because you could end up embarrassing yourself. The presentation starts well, but eventually, you forget your lines, freeze, and everybody starts laughing.

So what do you do? If you start apologizing and hating yourself in front of everybody, you’ll probably end up with even more insecurity. Instead, you can carry out yourself with dignity and respect by saying something like: “Good to see you’re having fun, these presentations are usually so boring. I should probably start forgetting more stuff to keep you hooked!”

When you do this, you signal that failing is OK, and it isn’t embarrassing at all. It was actually a good thing because everyone was having fun. This is what carrying out yourself with dignity means. Think about how confident you’d feel before the presentation if you knew that you can deal with failures that easily.

If you’ve mastered your mindset properly, you also believe that it is OK to fail and you could easily turn that negative outcome into your favor. On top of that, the other people would definitely sense your confidence and start to respect you more. 

When you start receiving the external validation, you’ll end up being even more confident. This leads to a positive spiral of confidence that will amplify itself.

Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable

Giving a presentation is only one example. You can carry out yourself like that in almost any negative situation! Executing this technique effectively consists of three things:

  1. Realize that failing at something or having flaws is ok and it doesn’t determine your worth. 
  2. Figure out a way to carry out yourself in a way that signals confidence and turns the situation in your favor.
  3. Remember that other people will see you as you see yourself, and let the positive results amplify your confidence.

Carrying out yourself with respect is a powerful way to deal with negative consequences. This helps you to be confident because you know that you’ll end up being fine regardless of the outcome.

Many people try to be confident by impressing others and bragging about things that they have succeeded at. And when they face failure and negative consequences, their insecurity will take control.

You’ll have to focus on yourself first. Change your own actions and mindset to serve you. You’ll need to become comfortable with your flaws, knowing that everyone has them. Accept the change that you will fail at something at some point, but it’s totally OK.

When you start with yourself and master your mindset, you’ll find out that your words and actions start to reflect it when you end up in a difficult situation. And when you know that other people will see you just as you see yourself, your confidence will skyrocket.

Again, to be confident, you must feel like you can deal with any outcome in a situation. And this technique gives you the tools to deal with negative ones. It’s as simple as understanding human psychology, becoming comfortable with a negative outcome, and carrying out yourself with self-respect and confidence.

Becoming more confident day by day

Learning this technique requires some practice, but since you’ve learned human psychology, you’re already on your way to success. So, start putting yourself out there and practicing. If it feels too intimidating, start with your mindset, and going out there becomes easier.

Think about the different situations you can use this. Somebody insults you for being too short but you turn it into a joke by saying that it’s good because you’ll fit better in your future Lamborghini. Or your flaw that comes up in a conversation but you admit it like it’s not a big deal.

In conclusion, remember that the world around you reacts to you as you react to yourself. Knowing this helps you to be confident because you can turn even the negative outcomes in your favor. When you master this technique, it’s like an invisible force field that turns the world into your oyster.

Veikko Arvonen is a blogger with a burning passion for self-development. He's the author of Maxed Out 20s, a blog where he shares how he turned himself from an insecure, heartbroken teenager to a confident, ambitious blogger with a plan to become a successful online entrepreneur. With years of experience, he wants to help you to become happier, more confident, attractive, and respected by sharing everything he has learned during his journey. Be sure to check out his blog and get your FREE ebook about confidence.

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



Image Credit: Unsplash

People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



Image Credit: Unsplash

A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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