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9 Ways To Reclaim Your Happiness In Whatever You Do



9 Ways To Reclaim Your Happiness In Whatever You Do

Its the age of virtual living; you could easily feel defeated and depressed by just watching some pictures of your friends holidaying in an exotic location.  

Sometimes, our motivation to do something could be just to post that selfie on Facebook. Some days, our self-worth plummets because nobody commented on our status, or worse; the status update burgeoned into a war of words in the virtual world.  Even though it is the virtual world, the effects can be very real.

It doesn’t take much to go down the rabbit hole in a spiraling combination of self-doubt and low self-esteem. In this day and age, how do we safeguard our levels of happiness and motivation? Turns out, it can be done through a series of small, incremental changes in your life.

Here are 9 ways to reclaim your happiness:

1. Being aware of physical triggers

Start by paying attention to your body. Many health experts suggest that your mood and motivation levels are in direct correlation with how your body feels. If your stomach is heavy, or you have a nagging backache, its unlikely that you will be highly motivated to go out of your comfort zone and try something radical. So, first step, fix the physical.

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” – Marilyn Monroe

2. Being aware of emotional triggers

Take time to understand yourself. You might be a person who derives energy from moving, or thinking or simply cooking. No one thing is better than the other, so throw comparison out of the window. Avoid things that make you annoyed with yourself. For example, if you feel good after ticking off everything on your to-do list, you should take care not to over-schedule yourself. Try to get all important things in your to-do schedule list-  like “dinner with family”, “30 minutes of long walk”, “time with children”.


3. Being aware of your reactions

Develop the mindset to look for fixing the problem rather than fixing the blame.  Most things do not go 100% as planned, factor that skewness in your plan as well.  And once they go wrong, don’t go back to “if only”, ” Why didn’t you?”  Focus on the problem at hand and fix it, not the blame.


4. Following a ritual

Science shows that following a ritual can provide an immense amount of stability and grounding.  Also, surprisingly, following rituals increase your chances at good health and more happiness. Families that follow certain rituals are found to have higher self-esteem and better bonding. The best part is, there is no one prescribed ritual. Any ritual that you make and keep will give you the same effects.


5. Smiling more

Annoyed? Smile it off! Depressed? Smile it off! Unhappy? Smile it away! But,  we smile when we feel we are in the right mood, right?  Well, here’s something we should know. Studies have shown that frowning less makes you less anxious. Smiling more makes you happier. In short, your external expression feeds your internal feelings.  Which is why,  most happy people seek the company of kids, or music or comics or dancing when they feel the blues. Its hard to frown when you are with a 3-year old or dancing away to glory!

“I am beginning to measure myself in strength, not pounds. Sometimes in smiles.” – Laurie Anderson

6. Dressing the part

No matter how you feel, dressing well makes a huge impact on making it better. Dressing well also does about half the job of getting your audience’s attention. Wearing well-fitted clothes makes you feel more in control – almost instantly. So, take time to groom well.


7. Keeping in touch with people who matter

Most people overlook this, but the importance of keeping in touch with people from your past cannot be emphasized enough.  It’s easy to let life take over and lost touch, or just limit interactions to “likes” on Facebook. Studies have shown that friendships increase resilience and can go a long way in countering feelings of depression and disconnectedness.


8. Being kinder

Kindness makes better relationships. Kindness obviously makes the recipient happier. That’s pretty obvious! However, scientists have studied the effects of kindness on the brain of the perpetrator and it is shown to increase happiness and a feeling of connectedness and belonging. The good thing is, it doesn’t even have to be material exchange. A gentle email, a call to check on somebody will all leave you feeling happier.


9. Making that decision

If you are on the brink of a major decision, putting off that decision can be a major impediment to your happiness. Decision-making is an important skill and the earlier you make that decision, the more enthusiasm you will have to carry out the idea. Most successful people will testify to the fact that making informed decisions require significant will-power and sometimes it’s the most important part of anything- both in personal and professional lives.

“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows” – Ralph Marston

Being aware of these seemingly small things can have a huge cumulative effect on your sense of well-being and self-esteem. The secret to motivation is increased mindfulness and the art of knowing yourself begins with you today.

Which one of these do you need to do more of? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Devishobha is the founder of - a resource repository for creating happy childhoods touching upon two important facets of a child's life- Parenting and Education. Watch out for her soon-to-be-launched merchandise collection, entirely inspired by kids- and their everyday take on life!

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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