Life

6 Steps to Power Up Your Performance With More Balance and Fulfillment

Published

5 years ago

Mar 2, 2018

Do you ever feel like one area of your life is off track and your performance in another area drops? Maybe you’ve been going through challenging times in your relationship which is affecting your results at work or you’re stressed, overwhelmed and burnt out at your job which is manifesting in your health.

The reason why coaching to the whole person is important, rather than just focusing on one area of life, is that creating balance and deep fulfillment in all areas is the key to increasing overall performance. As one of my clients was going through a very challenging divorce for example, he started having difficulties with his performance at work.

When he was able to build resilience and navigate his divorce in a different way, it allowed him to eliminate the distractions in his head to focus and get back on top of his game at work which resulted in meeting his quarterly targets and managing his team more effectively.

Here are 6 steps to creating more fulfillment and balance in order to power up your performance:

Step 1: Take Inventory of your life

Where are you standing right now in each area of your life? Consider career, money and health as well as social and intimate relationships, personal growth, fun and enjoyment and physical environment. Rate each area based on how satisfied you are on a scale from 1 to 10. This shows you exactly where you’re off balance and what other areas might be affected by it.

“Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Step 2: Discover what’s needed

What would it take for you to be more fulfilled and balanced? What has to be different in each area for you to be completely satisfied, to rate it as a 10? Get into detail and be bold. What would the ideal scenario for you look like?

Step 3: What will you make a priority?

Often times imbalance shows up in multiple areas of life. That’s completely natural and only gives us more opportunity to increase well-being and fulfillment. In order to avoid overwhelm with all the things that you might want to change, it’s important to prioritize. What we think is the priority is not always what TRULY is the priority. What’s the first step you choose to take towards more fulfillment? Pick one to two areas and start there.

Step 4: Set yourself up for success

Determine what works best for you. After you discover WHAT you want to change, determine the best approach for HOW you can accomplish that goal. There are many different ways and supporting structures. Get clear about how you work best and most efficiently.

Step 5: Determine your blocks

Knowing yourself well is not only beneficial when building on your strengths, but also in knowing where you might get stuck. Establish what challenges might come your way when moving forward and find solutions for them beforehand. This not only saves time and energy but also helps with tackling your obstacles with more confidence.

“It’s OK to not be OK, as long as you don’t stay that way.”

Step 6: Hold yourself accountable

Increasing your levels of fulfillment and creating more balance in your life and work is certainly an indirect way of powering up your performance. Not being able to see immediate results might lead to prioritizing other duties and procrastination. Holding yourself accountable to following through with what you decided on, always focusing on the bigger purpose and the advantages is therefore crucial for your success. Find an accountability partner, a coach to help you with achieving your goals, or determine how you’ll reward yourself after completing your mission.

Change is the only constant and often times it’s uncomfortable. As humans we tend to feel safe in what we’re familiar with and even when change means getting to a better place, it can be hard to hold ourselves accountable. Make a plan to stay on track and review your goals and process regularly.

It can be very beneficial to partner up with someone in the process of creating more balance and fulfillment in your life. Staying on top of your game is an inside job, something that can not only transform the quality of your life and your relationships but also your performance at work.

How do you power up your performance? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Cheryl Keates

Cheryl Keates is an expert at inspiring change for higher performance with more balance, and deeper fulfillment. Combining a holistic approach to psychology with her vocation as a Professional Certified Coach, she facilitates leaders in powering up their performance, leading with confidence, and increasing their emotional intelligence. Cheryl has spent 25 years working with C-level executives developing strong relationship building and communication skills that have generated impressive results across a number of sectors. Cheryl is a Psychology graduate of New York University, an Adler Certified Professional Coach and a Xerox Trained Sales Professional. Her work assignments have included roles in Canada, the United States and abroad.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

2 weeks ago

Jan 25, 2023

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

1. Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.

Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.

Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.

Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.

These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.

This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.

These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.

If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.