Life

6 Crucial Elements You Should Create Your Lifestyle Around

Published

2 years ago

Sep 2, 2020

Image Credit: Unsplash

When you hear the word lifestyle, the first thing that comes to most people’s mind is a lavish, luxurious palace, with more financial freedom than ever imagined. While there is nothing inherently wrong with this view or even living that life, the people that are the happiest and healthiest live by a lifestyle that creates the foundation for the enjoyment of whatever physical lifestyle one lives.

A healthy lifestyle has six crucial elements that when fused together, create a foundation where anything built on it will stand.

Those six elements are:

Listen

Learn

Laugh

Let Go

Love

Legacy

Creating a legacy for your life that transcends the self is one of the highest reaches anyone can set their sights on. Legacy is the cumulation of everything we do, everything we are, everything we desire, talk about, dream about, or share.

The best legacies are created while we are yet still living and are talked about for generations after we have passed. Legacy is about living the life you love and loving the life you live.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw

Building Without

Before we build with, we need to put ourselves into a place where we are ready to build. This means removing the aspects that tend to hold us down.

We need to live without pretending

Love without depending

Listen without defending

Learn without misunderstanding

Laugh without offending

Let go without forgetting

Creating With

Awareness of the without creates an ability of the with. Fresh awareness is like a freshly cut lawn or a new blossoming flower; the scent invigorates the soul. When our souls are aligned with our mind, our heart has the capacity to create gracefully, thereby increasing our wellbeing. We are each responsible for our own thoughts and actions even though outside forces (people, places, products) may push us towards certain reactions or responses.

Love without depending allows for each of us to take ownership of ourselves. Love is something that should always be given and never expected. When love is given only when received, it is not real love and as strong of an emotion as love is, depending on it from others results in depression if it doesn’t come. Giving love to others will universally produce love back into your life, which reduces depression.

Listen without defending is so vitally important. The point of listening is to receive information. Most times in conversations we are thinking of a response to what a person says rather than listening entirely before responding. Mastering the art of listening will help you create boundaries as well as help you be tuned in more to whoever you are talking to. Having clarity of thought will reduce your stress and as such increase your health.

Learn without misunderstanding is to search for clarity. When we receive knowledge, we should also ask questions to ensure there is no misunderstanding the meaning or the message. Understanding leads to wise decisions. The better decisions we make, the better we feel. When we feel good, our body releases hormones and enzymes which increase our happiness levels.

Laugh without offending. Everyone likes to laugh. In fact, the old saying that ‘laughter is the best medicine’ is still relevant today. The more we laugh, the happier we feel. We should laugh every day. We should find something to laugh at, someone to laugh with, and make others laugh too. Humor that doesn’t offend anybody is universally funny. Offensive humor results in nothing more than negative energy.

Let go without forgetting is the essence of forgiveness. Many people believe that forgiving equals forgetting, which it so far from the truth. Forgiving is allowing yourself to let go of the negative emotions and feelings that hold you to a situation, person, or circumstance. Letting go does not remove any consequences of the other person it removes you from the feelings.

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire

Take Charge And Live Free

Now is your time. Creating a lifestyle around these six elements will increase your health and wellbeing quicker and will sustain you longer than almost anything else. Your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing are all interconnected. When one is out of alignment it will not be long until the others will begin to weaken. It’s time for a check-up. This check-up will cost you nothing more than time

Spend time with yourself. Take a few hours to a few days to allow yourself to walk through these six components. Evaluate where you are, what is working, what needs to change, make a list, and then go do. Your health depends upon it.

Related Topics:emotional wellbeing how to live your life Life Life Advice lifestyle mental health physical wellbeing spiritual wellbeing wellbeing

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Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

1. Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.

Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.

Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.

Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.

These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.

This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.

These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.

If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.

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