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6 Common Situations When Giving Up Is A Good Idea

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how do you know when to walk away

Persistence is said to be an incredibly powerful thing. There have been countless examples of how persistence has rescued people from hopeless situations. Because they pushed on and never gave up in the face of setbacks, sooner or later they succeeded.

However, there have also been many examples of misguided persistence where people persisted for so long that they dug themselves into a deep hole they could never get out of.

Like anything else in life, it too can lead to both good or bad consequences, depending upon how and where it is directed.

Here are 6 situations when giving up is acceptable or even advisable:

1. When what you are doing will harm you

You aren’t going to say that “winners never quit and quitters never win” applies to smoking or doing drugs are you? If you are following self destructive habits you are in trouble.

If you are eating food that will harm you in the long  run or are following a lifestyle which clearly is not going to result conducive to your goal or your health, it’s time to give it up.

 

2. When you hate what you do

Passion is extremely important for success because unless you love what you do, it is going to drain the life force out of you, especially when things get tough.

If you hate what you do, even if you get the money, your quality of life will be horrible because all the money will not be able to buy you any happiness, peace or even quality sleep.

If you hate something to the point that you feel that it is sucking everything good out of your life, it is okay to give it up. But if it is a stable job you plan to quit, saving up as much as you can before quitting is advised.

“You have to do what you love to do, get get stuck in that comfort zone of a regular job. Life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it.” – Lucinda Basset

3. When you have given your absolute best and there is no sign of a reward in the future

Sometimes people keep doing what they don’t enjoy, especially when they have a family to feed, because they are at least getting some reward out of it. But then there are also times, when you neither enjoy what you do nor do you get a justifiable reward for it.

There are times, when you have given your absolute 200 percent into something, have tried every strategy possible that you know of, but things just don’t seem to be changing.

At that time you need to be honest with yourself whether it is even worth it to continue. If you are so in love with what you are doing that you can’t imagine a life doing anything else, only then should you continue. But be prepared for the possibility that the reward may not always come.

 

4. When you just can’t become good at what you do, no matter how hard you try

It is not a bad idea to move on to something else when you lack any aptitude for what you do. Sure, hard work and dedication will make you much better at what you do, but you have to be honest with yourself.  Will all your hard work and dedication actually improve your skill by such a huge degree that you can make a great profession out of it?

If no amount of practice leads to such an improvement that you can objectively become a pro at something, you are probably going to be wasting time in it. It is probably wise to move on to something that is actually your strength. Your chances of getting the reward you deserve will skyrocket.

 

5. When you get no respect

Sometimes you may actually be incredibly talented and hardworking. And yet you are not being appreciated and are constantly being ignored or exploited.

If you have to constantly deal with egotistic people whose main motive in life seems to keep you down just because they dislike you, it is going to be incredibly hard to succeed in that kind of environment.

In this situation you don’t have to quit the industry you are in altogether, you just have to quit the toxic situation that is bothering you at present. The decision may not be easy if you are getting some cash to stay complacent. However, if you want to realize your true potential, you will have to make the switch.

“At the end of the day, you can focus on what’s tearing you apart, or what’s holding you together.” – Unknown

6. When times have changed or there are better opportunities

If you are driving a car, should you only look at the road ahead or should you also be aware of any vehicles coming from behind or sideways at intersections? If you only look at the road ahead, a car will ram into you from sideways or behind and you won’t even be able to avoid it.

Focus can sometimes distract you from spotting opportunities that are way better or from threats that are coming your way. If you are in the candle making industry, your business would have been affected when the light bulb was invented, no matter how hard you persevered.

If you were making pagers, your business would go down with the advent of smartphones no matter how hard you tried to maintain growth. Unless you’re passionate only about making candles or pagers and don’t care about the money, you should probably change direction with changing times.

Conclusion

Persistence is not a universally potent quality that will always lead to favorable end results.  Persistence has to be coupled with awareness and knowledge. Contrary to popular belief, quitters can win, especially when quitting is used as a strategy to keep pushing on in a new, fruitful direction.

However, don’t use this as an excuse to quit at the first sign of setback. At the end of the day, intelligent persistence, when directed properly is indeed what will set you apart from others, and coupled with luck (which you have no control over), it is going to be one of the most decisive factors for your success.

What situation have you experienced before? What was the outcome? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Anubhav Srivastava is an author, speaker and the director of Carve Your Destiny, a first of its kind, comprehensive motivational movie on the principles of success. It has been seen on Youtube by close to a million people.  Visit Anubhavsrivastava.com for his inspirational blog. See the film here.

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Life

How to Find the Courage to Start New

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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